Chapter Text
*Hirose POV*
Its been 3 days since Nakamura finally got to find his friend..
And he is Happy and back to normal again..
I am so happy for him..
Still.. I dont understand my feelings at all.
But I mean.. There is no Way I like my friend do I?..
Surely not..
I mean if I liked him i would be sure of it no?
Yeah..
Still.. is it the right choice?
And not long ago a girl asked me to date them..
I might say yeah.. I asked her to wait a day
I might as well say yes.
And give it a shot
-----Nakamura POV----
I was quite happy for now
And Hirose and I seem closer too
I am soooo on track
To be honest.. it has been a while..
And I know Nightcord will be with me so I could confess
But im still highly unsure of it..
Hmm.. soon to be 1am..
Might as well log on
---1am nightcord --
Kanade:" Hello Naku.. youre right on time"
Naku: "Mhm..My parents and sister arent home right now "
Yuki: "oh yeah you mentioned that not long ago.."
Mizuki: "Mhm.. hey uh K,Enanan do you have the concept for the mv or demo?"
Kanade: "Ah right.. I wanted to show you guys the newest demo we made for you Amiya.."
Naku: "yeah.. we missed you"
Amiya: Awwh you guys shouldnt have..
Yuki: "but without you Nightcord didnt feel the same."
Yuki said.. i was suprised to be honest.. she never says too lot but this.. this felt genuine
But aside that we worked on the song we had in mind for a while. And finishing the cover of Heat abnormal.. it is a tough one
---- next day---
"Ah Hirose! Hey"
"Nakamura! Whatsup!"
"Everything alr. Wanna hop on my bike? We can get to school faster."
"Sure lets go"
*We rode the bike together and got to school*
"Sooo wanna walk home together?"
"Well umm.. I kinda have plans with someone else right now.." he said to me..
Plans with someone?
Who is that..
"Oh sorry I might have forgotten to mention"
"Mention what?"
"I didn't tell you did I? Sighh silly me. But I finally got a girlfriend"
"A girlfriend? Oh .."
".. congrats Hirose"
A girlfriend...
Ah..
I see..
Well thats..
Terrible but as long as Hirose is happy.. I guess Its gonna be alright.. no?
For thw rest of the day i was a bit alone. I met the girl..
She is cute and kind.. so I am happy they are happy but still..
It hurts..
So fucking much
And i dont know what to do.. at all..
How can I be the one who cant accept my friend being happy..
Im such a horrible friend but..
At the same time we could be more than friends too. In some other place
Cmon nakamura accept this all.
Its your duty as a friend..
--
next day
"Hey Nakamura?" I saw Hifumi
"Yeah whats up?"
"The Manga is done here you go." She handed me my notebook.
"Thanks" I took it and put it in my bag.
And I want to read it.. painfully
But i know i would break down instantly..
Might as well just..
Ignore it.
*I was putting my school shoes into their place*
"agh-"
I felt someone bump into me..
"Oh I am So so sorry!"
Its her... Kana
"Oh no its.. alright yeah.."
"This pen is quite familiar to my boyfriends one!"
"Oh yeah..."
"I heard about you .. Nakamura right?"
"Oh... Haha yeah.. thats me.."
"Nice to meet you. I am Hana. I have to go now but see you later :)"
"Yeah.. goobye..."
I waved.. verge of tears...
And thwn rushed home.. as fast as i could..
"Fuck this... I cant." ...
*I grabbed the book for comfort*
Me and Hirose.. friends...
Never boyfriends...
*Hic*
Fuck.. I messed up...
I messed up so bad...
*Tears stained my pillow*
*I felt a lump in my throat...*
*And i sobbed*
Its never gonna be us..
Never Nakamura and Hirose just Nakamura with Hirose...
Why is this so unfair!..
*I couldnt.. after a time.. I was too full of emotions to handle*
I cant... I need fresh air..
*I sprinted our the door.. onto my bike.. and just cycled.*
My vision is blurry.. it feel my face melt..
I became the thing i never want to be..
Broken..
After a bit i stopped at a cliff.
The scenery I loved..
The city being busy..
Just so I cant hear the pain
Or cant feel the coldness i have..
Not even the warmth.
Because all i see is Happy little Humans living in a happy little place..
I sob..
Mutter everything.
"why... Why cant i be happy for hirose!.."
"Why is there Always something wrong with me!"
"I Just want him to be happy.. but I cant accept his happiness for my own sake..."
"Im sorry Hirose..."
I sighed to myself.
"I really am..."
Terrible after all...
I started wondering
..
Its not worth after all..
Is it..?