Chapter Text
On any given night for some, 2 years and 4 months ago....
A young human stood, his gaze spun a thousand times looking left and right, analyzing what he had done
But a proud smile rose above all things, because no matter where he looked, there was no dark fountain, therefore there was no way out
He blocks another attack from his aggressor, he stood imposingly before him.... The Roaring Knight
His gaze, if that could be called a gaze, penetrated to the deepest part of his being, a threat from a predator that is getting tired of chasing and fighting its prey
But Kris wasn't going to allow it, he blocked every blow and landed others that did little damage
Kris at some other time was a person who begged, maybe to his mother or father for something he wanted or for forgiveness, maybe to his brother for help, even maybe to Noelle, but in very few cases for faith
But now it was the only time he begged, to something greater to help him and keep giving him strength, he still struggled to understand how he was in control of his body despite having the soul inside, maybe it was that he accepted it for the first time on his own or made peace with his soul or whatever, he blocks another sudden blow from the knight
There's no time to think about that now, he'll do it after defeating him
His determination filled him and he felt a rush of fresh air, but his gaze turned to one of helplessness and fear, when multiple swords surrounded him, while the Roaring Knight stood with a clear hint of pride
But despite that, having a helpless and fearful look, inside he was full of determination, a flame that burned with the fire of a thousand suns remained in his sight, his determination, his power, his will to move forward for everyone
He would get out of this... He would win..... He would maintain everyone's peace... No matter the cost......
PREVAIL
A flame burned that night
---
Now here he was, against the ground hyperventilating, he could feel how time stopped just to show him his mistake, only for him, only to see
He could see how Susie recomposed herself, he saw the regret and shame she felt on her face, he only saw her face, how she wanted to say a thousand things, a thousand apologies, a thousand questions, but none could come out
But why should she feel that way for someone like him, a liar, someone who deceived her from the first day, someone who only expected her to come to end his existence
But here she was with a pained face and being able to see in that same face someone she cared for so much, despite everything
He could see how Noelle stood up, still dazed, but using all her strength to get up, all with the sole purpose of not losing him
He knew it, he knew she would fight not to lose him, not him too
She's supposed to understand him more than anyone and he understands her, they've both lost so much
But Kris couldn't, he had to be forgotten, set aside, because why would she fight for someone like him, the words from that day in his house resonated in his mind, like a mantra that reminds him of his 'forced' place
Maybe that's why she was here, forced by her old memories of him, forced by the past that united them, forced unintentionally by Susie's appreciation for him, maybe it was always like that
He looked at them both for the last time
He had to leave, he saw his helmet, he needed it because it covered a face that should be forgotten
He ran to it and took it, put it on with an imperative need, as if it were a part of him
He brought a little of what the shadow mantle is and whispered so that it would only fulfill one request "get me out of here.."
The shadow mantle covered him to a great extent, he gave one last look at Noelle and Susie, he only saw pain and sorrow in their eyes, he couldn't help but hate having made them feel that way....
His own gaze carried a pain that was even visible through the helmet's visor
An unknown energy covered the Red Knight and he shot out in the direction of the vegetation surrounding them
And so he disappeared before the eyes of both girls
---
The energy that pushed and protected Kris as he flew among the trees, it was like an orange flame that didn't burn what surrounded it, but it did give him a somewhat cozy warmth, but his mind wouldn't allow him to feel comfortable with this, he was busy with something else......
He began to descend slowly and stood still in front of one of the many trees
The shadow mantle slowly unrolled, returning to its cape state, only now its interior was an orange color and its exterior was black, and at the top that joined near his neck it took the shape of a pair of curved horns
Kris the Red Knight was just there, standing looking at the tree.
A serious and rocky face remained, until it began to break
He breathed with difficulty, he was hyperventilating, he could feel how hard it was to breathe and how his heart was racing a mile a minute
He clenched his fists tightly, so much so that he began to tear the fabric covering the inside of his glove on his palm
He could feel all his emotions going a mile a minute, worsened by how he could feel his soul hurting too, they were one at the end of the day, right?...... Both were suffering
They were the same at the end of the day, right?
His helmet retracted and hid in an invisible place for everyone, only a stunned and pained face remained, he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't keep up the figure of the Red Knight, not like this
And it was there when he couldn't take it anymore, all remaining strength left him
Tears ran in silence <why.. Why... WHY> he repeated to himself inside himself, the tears ran with even more intensity
His legs couldn't take it anymore and he fell to the ground with a dull thud.
If a knight cries in an empty forest and no one hears him, does he truly suffer?
He didn't deserve to be the one in pain, why did he have to feel like this.....
The tears stained his face, he covered his face with his hands, in a useless attempt to stop the tears, it didn't matter that he had hurt his hands to the point of making them bleed and much less that he had stained his face with his blood...
"why?... Why can't they..." he couldn't continue, he was still crying, he gave a small sigh
While the tears still fell he sat at the base of the tree, wrapping his legs with his arms to pull them as close to himself as possible
He was doing this by his own decision, but why was he suffering, why did it have to hurt so much....
Being honest with himself there was a reason, but it doesn't matter anymore.....
Slowly his mind began to descend, only he remained, the tree he leaned on, and the thousand thoughts that now tormented him
A foreign warmth began to surround him, he didn't feel it had any malicious intent, but he knew that the one surrounding him wasn't who he would like to be the one granting him this warmth
He raised his head a little, he could see how the extensions of the shadow mantle were covering him, he just gave a tired sigh
One of the extensions stretched further from his shoulder, it remained suspended in the air, just looking at him
"what do you want?..." he was too tired to just ignore it
It just stayed there looking at him, waiting for something more
"..." Kris raised his head a little more, his gaze was low and his eyes that were already red, now were even more so from the tears shed
They just stood there, both in total silence
But the shadow mantle spoke first "I told you you couldn't go on like this forever.."
Kris just kept looking at the extension in front of him, he wasn't going to worry about how the hell it was talking to him, but he sighed "and I told you I already know..."
"here's my question Kris, if you already knew, how did you get to this point?" Kris felt like he was being looked at by eyes that weren't there, it was so strange
"..." Kris could only lower his gaze as he thought for some answer "I wanted them close even if it was fake...."
Upon saying those words he just hugged himself tighter, he wanted to disappear and let these feelings consume him, in response the shadow mantle transmitted more warmth to him, in an attempt to give him something, perhaps peace or comfort
One of the shadow mantle's extensions coiled around his arm "but why does it have to be fake?" the shadow mantle's extension turned a little in a gesture of confusion
"pfff.." he made a mocking sound, he raised his gaze with a judging expression, "since when do you! ...." the shadow mantle recoiled for a moment at his raised tone, but Kris also noticed and relaxed a little "do you care how I feel..."
The shadow mantle seemed confused once more "yes, you've helped me without problems up to now" Kris moved one of his hands dismissively and put on an apathetic face "fighting against the knight, monsters, dark beings and blah blah blah"
"but why now..." he slowly returned to his pained state "why do you care about that now"
"I was made for you at the end of the day, isn't that right?" the shadow mantle was direct, without hesitation or anything.
Kris knew it, at the end of the day in the light world the shadow mantle was nothing more than that ugly modded copy of Dragon Blazer that Asriel was making
He never finished it and much less did he do it when the Dess incident happened, he never got to see the game his brother made, it never left his head that maybe the game that Rambo gave him, where he met and obtained the shadow mantle, was the unfinished game that Asriel made
He raised his gaze to look at it? It was difficult to converse with practically a tentacle
Seeing that Kris raised his gaze, the shadow mantle continued "and therefore my objective is to help Kris"
Kris couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable, he wasn't a fan of the idea that your life had a single purpose, "yes you helped me a lot, with that dreadful game that time"
"it was my first attempt, although I still don't understand what was wrong with it" the shadow mantle moved up and down to show its contentment remembering it "besides you liked it, right?" it said in a somewhat sinister tone
When it saw Kris's somewhat scared face it laughed with its typical laugh, despite not having a visible mouth "but you didn't answer my question..." Kris wished he didn't have to go back to that
"why does it have to be fake?"
Kris sighed, lowered his gaze and thought for a moment, looking from side to side
"because...."
"I'm a burden" Kris replies, lowering his gaze again
But the shadow mantle speaks "why?"
Kris gives a tired sigh, wondering why he had to answer it, but a part of him wanted to be able to vent in this sea of emotions he felt, he lowers his gaze thinking about what to say
He raises his gaze to see the shadow mantle that still covered him, but now it had taken a more direct form as a darkner to see each other directly.
It surprised him a little, but he decided to be direct, this conversation was about him "I'm dead weight, okay" Kris moves his gaze to one side "for everyone in general, but I think you want me to be more specific....."
"okay, for the Holidays I've been a constant reminder of what they lost and even more so for Noelle"
"always having to help me since we were kids, because I wasn't capable enough to do homework alone, because I couldn't stay alone and that's why despite being the same age she had to spend all her day with me" Kris drops his head on his shoulder ".... Because I remind her every day that because of me her sister isn't here, because because of me her mother ended up like that, because by pushing her away for so long I only managed to make her want to get closer to me..."
Kris lets out a small laugh "... Because she could never realize that I'm a poisonous object? That I'm only going to ruin her life" Kris only drowns more in his own misery "I'll only give her more problems"
"because maybe she finds something beautiful in you" the shadow mantle's words only make Kris raise his head quickly, surprised by its words "aren't some of the most beautiful plants toxic or the most colorful reptiles the most poisonous at the slightest touch"
"yes, it may be true, she may see something in me that even I can't, but why..." Kris is quickly interrupted by the shadow mantle
"tell me if they could decide, both animal and plant, not to poison those they want who seek to get close, not to poison them" the shadow mantle's reflection keeps Kris's gaze fixed and thinking, he couldn't find an answer to that dilemma
"maybe you can't control it, but you can both be more careful with each other" Kris just sighed "but truly if I'm honest, I don't think you're truly a cause of harm, maybe you believe it so much that..."
Kris just lets out a small laugh again "I'm not? Then what about Susie" Kris put his gaze down "after everything that happened with her, we became 'friends' in less than a few days and being honest I was doing her harm"
"well then tell me what you think about being a burden to Susie then" the shadow mantle's words pulled Kris from his thoughts, beginning in the process to calm down and think about that specifically
Kris closes his eyes and breathes a little, he would speak from within as he did with Noelle "Susie is a good person"
"and I don't care about the past, what she did to me or what happened doesn't matter to me anymore" Kris moves his head back, resting it on the tree "she has a good heart and wants to help, but at the same time she is, she's so..."
"innocent with everything that happens, I wonder if she didn't want to realize or was ignoring it"
"I know she must have a difficult life, but I never worried about that and I just brought her further down with me, I could have stopped that night you know" Kris moves his head to look at the shadow mantle "that night when she stayed at my house, I thought about doing it, maybe from that day I should have rebelled against the knight? Even more so because he brought Noelle into this when Carol and I both asked him not to"
Kris gives a tired sigh "besides she might have been able to save everyone without me you know"
"every time I think about it I think it's true, they only needed me for the soul and the power I have, but if that weren't necessary she would have done it alone" he moves his hand in a gesture of affirmation "alone she would have become a better person thanks to Lancer and Ralsei, even more thanks to Gerson, I just... Was there..... If there was a purpose I don't remember anymore"
Kris groans and curls up more, the shadow mantle just stays there floating but still giving Kris warmth
"but despite everything they're still looking for you"
Kris raises his head to see, as he raises his head the shadow mantle is looking at him? It's not possible to say for sure because of course it has no eyes, but it feels like it's looking at him, but it's as if somehow it had a look of compassion
"she has been looking for you, both of them of course"
"when they found you by accident and approached you, I could feel it, they wanted to be able to get closer despite everything" Kris keeps remorse and nothing but shame on his face
"y-yes, bu-but..."
"when they saw you in that field I'm sure they thought it was you" Kris still had a lot on his mind to be able to give an accurate answer, so he just listened "but they were very afraid to call your name and you were very afraid to turn around and look them in the face"
At his words he curled up more, he felt guilty and at the same time full of fear "but there's so much more, I-I'm a liar, I deceived them, I deceived Susie, I was a bad person to Noelle, a-and I..."
"I'll be honest, I still don't understand much, but I think that if they are willing to look for you despite everything before, I think that maybe they could overcome everything else"
Kris let out a slight laugh and a couple of tears ran down his face "I know maybe it's true, but still... I don't know, genuinely I don't know..."
"well what else do you have left but to try" the shadow mantle returns a big smile? If that could be called that
"hehe since when did you become such a good psychologist" says Kris while wiping his tears and raising his gaze
"I don't know, I spent a lot of time with you kid, I still think the first time I helped you a lot" again the shadow mantle laughs
"pfff yeah right, you helped me a lot by tormenting me and reminding me of a part of me I don't like" Kris gives it a worried look "I still don't understand why you did it if in the end you were helping me... Well supposedly you wanted to help me"
"I still don't understand what's good and bad, but I think it's good to know ourselves completely" it flutters a little around Kris "even the parts we don't like"
"besides you needed me to beat the knight" the shadow mantle laughs greatly
"yes hehe come on, I'll go see" Kris sighs to relax and likewise get some determination from himself "I'll just get a little closer and see what I do"
The shadow mantle returns to its cape form on his back, Kris takes his helmet from the ground and looks at it for a moment, he looks directly at the visor that reflects his face, a tired, sad and lonely one, the Red Knight was all he was these two and a half years, but today could be different
Seeing himself again in the reflection of the visor, you're still you and you still have a lot to accept about who you are
Kris is enveloped by the energies of the shadow mantle, he put his helmet aside and stored it, thus he was propelled towards the treetops
---
Susie and Noelle were in the middle of the forest, walking little by little with Susie in front as leader and at the same time cutting every very large branch to be able to move forward
Noelle stayed behind her looking from side to side, searching and watching for any movement that indicated she found who they were looking for
Susie gave each chop with her axe with more force and more anger, she couldn't believe what had happened, not because she didn't want to find Kris or see him, but because she was so close to him and did nothing, maybe she could have reacted differently or maybe wait for them to open up
Susie gave another chop cutting another branch, she kept a serious and somewhat angry look
On the other hand, Noelle looked from side to side, waiting for something, a sign that they were still here
She was playing with the sleeves of her tunic, her mind was filling with so much, so much to think about but at the same time so much that she didn't know how to say, she couldn't help feeling that a part of her knew it, that they were there in some way, when they saw him in that place full of sunflowers or whatever, even more so when they saw those eyes for a moment through the visor, they had ignored it to be honest, she didn't want to connect her lost friend's eyes with those of someone they were distrusting
Maybe it was always like that...... Distant, apart and with no one realizing they were there.....
"arghh" Susie's grunt pulls Noelle from her thoughts, she cut another thick branch, Noelle looked beyond Susie and saw an angry and ashamed face, but looking even further, seeing her eyes that allow you to see her soul, you can see that it's not directed at anyone but herself...
Noelle can't lie in avoiding feeling the same, but full of sadness and shame
But Susie's cuts stop for a moment, they reached a point where there were no more branches blocking them, Susie sighs and exhales at the same time, clearly showing tiredness
Susie looks around and lowers the axe for a moment, swallows some saliva, how long have they been here? She's not very sure...
"let's keep going, maybe we'll find some clue as to where they went" Susie raises the axe to keep cutting
Noelle tries to get closer to Susie, but stops for a moment "ehh, maybe I could help you" Noelle tries to approach Susie from one side "you know, if I freeze the branches they'll break more easily, right?"
Susie simply sighs "no that could take us longer, I'll handle it" Susie prepares herself by putting her axe on her shoulder
"Susie you need to calm down a little if we want to find him, the best thing we can do is--"
Susie sticks her axe forcefully into the ground, her face darkens and her shoulders tense "Noelle I need this, I need to find him, I can't stop I mustn't, because I feel that if I don't find him now, I'll never find him!!"
Susie's breathing is clearly agitated, Noelle's face fills with worry and fear, Susie turns to look at Noelle and sees her face, this makes Susie's face contort into an expression of regret
Susie sighs still tired "n-no I didn't mean to yell at you, b-but...." Susie lowers her face once more "I'm angry okay, I am and especially with myself"
"they were so close..... a-and I think I knew it" Susie squeezes her hand in her hair "I felt so strange, I felt safe in a strange way that I thought it was danger, I was afraid to open my mouth and call his name... A part of me knew it"
A single and slight tear runs down her face "I'm angry at myself for being stupid and--"
She is quickly stopped by Noelle who hugs her, this makes a couple of tears run down her face and fall on Noelle's hair "I know how you feel" says Noelle while hugging Susie tighter "I feel like a fool, an ignorant and a bad excuse for a friend, but they're still here and they need us, I know it, deep inside I know it"
Susie finally decides to return the hug "I'm scared... Of losing them again and that it's my fault for hurting him"
"it wasn't your intention" Noelle raises her gaze to look at Susie, Noelle knew that in a moment like this she needed words of encouragement "we were confused and anxious, but you can always apologize when we find him"
Noelle pulls away from the hug and steps back a little "better?" Susie nods
"let's give ourselves 1 minute, okay" says Susie as she begins to sit on the ground near one of the several trees, Susie hits the ground with the palm of her hand
Noelle understands the signal and sits next to her, Susie breathes calmly and looks at the ground "where are you?" says Susie and in response Noelle rests her head on Susie's shoulder while looking up a little
Noelle is surprised and shakes Susie a little, the latter moves her head to look at Noelle who was looking up "what happened?"
Noelle points and moves her head for her to look where she was looking, doing so she saw a vine? Black that fell just in front of them
Susie tensed a little thinking it was some being that inhabited the forest and she had to be ready to attack
Suddenly it moved further down, the movement made Susie have her hand ready on her axe
But what the vine did was take a small flower that was on the ground, it plucked it and with the flower taken it brought it closer to them
It was small, a pretty color despite being a ground flower, its petals were dark blue and the center was bright red, typical colors that prevailed in dark worlds, Susie didn't know what to do or how to act and on the other hand Noelle was equally attentively looking at the flower, but she could see on her face some doubt in it
But despite everything Noelle found the strength, the strength to do something "Kris..?"
Susie upon hearing Noelle reacted immediately and looked up "..." Susie didn't know what to do, there was so much to say, but she was scared, but she had to do something, but they were together in this, right?
"...Kris please we just want to talk..." Susie raised her gaze looking for some reaction, looking for some word, but there was only silence, Susie looked at Noelle but she kept looking up
"...I'm sorry...." came out in such a low and melancholic tone, but it reached them
Susie stood up quickly, put her hands under the flower and in reaction it was released into her hands "Kris please, we just want to talk" Susie cradled the flower in her hands while looking for what to say "w-we want to know what's happening, please...."
Noelle stood up and stood beside her "Kris I don't care what happened, y-you still matter to us, please K-Kris--"
"I'm sorry again...." said Kris in a low and pained tone "I want to be honest, I know maybe it will hurt or you'll be angry with me, but.... I must do it.."
////////////////////////////////////////////////
It's always been me
Kris Dreemurr, the joker, the neighbor, the friend, the human
I haven't always liked it, but they were always there to support me
Always giving me a place to feel like I belong, giving me toy horns to feel part of the family, telling me that when I grow up my own fur will grow
As I grew up I understood that maybe I wouldn't be like them but that at least I would have a place
But there was always that thought, that memory that I'm not like those I love
I'm no stranger to nightmares as a child, but once they got worse
Voices that told me I would always be different, how incomplete I am, that I would never be what others want
When I woke up I knew it was a nightmare, I tried to carry on normally, but what took it out of the normalcy of a childhood nightmare was that the voices returned, even during the day
When my mind failed or I was alone they returned to torment me, judge me, remind me of a place I didn't like
One day they simply stopped, they ceased, it was the happiest day of my life in so long, I felt normal again, without voices whispering my fears
But when I slept another nightmare came to me, it was no longer things that tormented me
But there was only darkness, the trees that surrounded me were grey and pale, almost dead if not for the many black leaves hanging from them
And in front of me the bunker
Its doors simply opened, a silent but cold breeze came out of it, and then I heard voices calling to me saying they loved me, they needed me inside the bunker and for me to enter
It wasn't like other times when they scolded me, hated me or mocked me
It was a plea to enter, their moans and pleas tormented me
That day when I woke up I did so sweating and with my heart racing a mile a minute
I said nothing, I didn't for 3 days straight, the pleas continued and the voices kept asking
One day by trying I simply told a diluted version to some I knew
My mother said it was just a nightmare and not to worry, that they would end and she would pray for them to end
My father likewise said it was just a nightmare and that it would pass with time, he didn't have much time to talk because of work
I told Asriel and he got scared, he said it was too terrifying and that I made it up to scare him, then he told me that if it were true it would pass with time and not to worry
I wanted to tell Noelle, but with Asriel's reaction I was afraid to tell her and scare her even more
But only one person asked instead of having to be told
Dess, December approached me and asked me what was wrong
I told her everything, that I was scared, that I didn't want them to take me
She took me by the shoulder and said 'there's nothing to fear, you know let's go tonight to see that stupid bunker and you know I'll bring my bat and we'll kick the ass of any idiot who's bothering you'
Her words filled me with such great hope
That night she with bat and flashlight in hand, I stayed behind with another flashlight and a branch
We opened the bunker
There was only darkness
We entered and there was only more darkness
And then only a smile in the darkness
When I woke up, I was numb, the night was already at its peak, blood ran down my forehead
My father came running towards me, he took me by the shoulders
He spoke but I couldn't hear him, my ears were ringing as if an explosion had occurred
They interrogated me, I said what I remembered, which wasn't much
We entered the bunker and we found something, that something attacked us and Dess defended me at all costs
I remember that thing took me and Dess, I don't know if maybe it did something to me I said
But that didn't matter, they interrogated me more to get something, most of the time I didn't know, I just froze
So they assigned me a psychologist, because I didn't speak anymore and my gaze was constantly lost
The therapy lasted only 5 days, I was in some kind of semi-permanent shock state, they called it Acute Stress Reaction or Psychological Shock
To try to help me improve the therapist did many things
I tried to play the piano, I couldn't do it like before, it was as if I had lost it
Reading and oratory, words didn't come out despite reading
I was in some kind of automatic state
But there was one thing I did and that was drawing
They asked me to draw what I saw, I just drew black blotches without much shape
None of that led anywhere
In the end I left and was given care
When I returned to school, to be seen by the town, by the others
For everyone I was an evil and terrifying being, cause of someone's disappearance
No matter how much I tried to say more, no one believed, no one did
I was afraid to approach those I considered close because I thought they would hate me or fear me
But despite everything someone did listen to me and believed
Carol, she did it
She believed me, she told me it was too elaborate to be a lie, that she didn't blame me, but she would need my help to follow a new investigation
We investigated, we delved into all information, my father joined shortly after, due to his own investigation despite having lost his job because of it, Carol supported him despite everything, even despite the divorce
We learned something, in the ancient books of nearby folklore, of ancient legends and stories, about something in the darkness, about something more in the darkness
But also
Over time I learned something worse, this 'automatic' state wasn't me, something was more in me, when speaking sometimes I only spoke summarized and short things
But we learned in unison, that something was wrong with me, with my soul
It controlled me in a way that I didn't have control, I just did simple things, it kept me in a simple state
In which I had to learn everything again
From that I learned two things, pain kept me in control and I could tear it out to have complete control of my being, but if I did that I couldn't be for long and I could die, I learned it the hard way
So by day the soul was in control despite not liking it, but at night I tore it out and locked it away, to be able to continue with the investigation
But one day we decided to go back to where it all started
We spent all night outside the bunker because no matter how hard we tried there was nothing inside
But at midnight when opening the doors, everything was dark inside and black smoke came out of it
So we entered, the colors inside were not just darkness
It was a cold and frozen wasteland, with grey ice covering almost everything
Almost none of us cared that in that place our colors were paler tones
We found it, but it didn't flee or do anything
It explained that this was a dark world, a place from which the darkness that is not visible was removed
It told us that it knew what we were looking for, but that here we would not find that
They were the Roaring Knight, that they sought to complete the prophecy that promised a new world through the Roaring
It promised us so much, we doubted they were capable of fulfilling their promises, but they showed they had the power to fulfill them
Carol wanted to protect hometown forever and protect its inhabitants and family from any evil
Asgore wanted to be able to protect everyone in the same way
But I wanted that and much more
I wanted to protect everyone, be able to help them, regain control of my being, make everyone happy
But in the end the three of us had the same goal, to go back to how it was before
To bring back Dess
I helped him in his plan, he taught me that determination opens dark fountains, that's why me and my soul were fundamental
I sent his sword with my determination and also did it with other tools so that Carol, my father and I could open fountains, he taught me about dark worlds and how they work, how there was a great power in me that no one else perhaps had
He filled me with so many ideas that I came to convince myself that maybe I could be like them
I pushed everyone away to keep them out of this as necessary
I opened the Castle Town fountain, then the knight took care of opening the others
I just kept going with the plan, opening and maintaining them
But entering, knowing the prophecy, meeting Ralsei, knowing Susie more than I thought, made me feel different about the plan
I had doubts, but the Cyber World didn't help
Seeing Noelle, spending time again, despite being in the back seat of my own mind, a part of me was truly there
Then I got angry with the knight for bringing Noelle into this, but the plan had to continue
My doubts grew and seeing Tenna didn't help things
Tenna made me remember other times, long for the past again, that maybe this wasn't the way
I had told him we had a deal, keep him on always as long as he distracted us, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea that the knight needed my mother
Spending time together, playing and having fun made me doubt more, then there was the matter of the shadow mantle that made him doubt where he stood
Seeing Tenna hurt that way and having to fight the knight ruined me even more
My doubts were full of fears
...
Gerson... Why Gerson?
I never expected it, it was some kind of act of fate to make me reconsider, seeing him and the true prophecy...
It made me know that I ruined it
...
While I was full of so many ideas of so much to do, everything I would have to do
I couldn't
So for once in so long it was as if I was finally me again
I needed the soul for what was to come, I took it without expecting anything
But for the first time it was as if they didn't fight for control, maybe it was always about taking the right direction
Am I not myself at the end of the day?
I could have followed you that night, maybe we could have solved that together, maybe I could have gone to talk to Noelle to solve it
But I couldn't
So I did it, I knew Carol wouldn't find the strength to rebel despite her own doubts and my father would go through the same
So I did it, I opened a fountain in the damn forest and then closed it with the two of us inside
He taught me a lot about the dark world and clearly I used it to my advantage
But...
B-but...
////////////////////////////////////////////////
Kris was above them sitting on one of the branches and a couple of tears fell
"but, it wasn't worth it"
"I've been fighting against him these last years and for nothing, in the end he created another fountain God knows how" he let out a choked laugh "I thought all this, the Red Knight, disappearing, everything, I did it for the good of others"
"but I realize I only did it for my own"
"it's so horrible to say it like that, b-but I couldn't face the reality of what I've done and who I've hurt"
Susie gave a soft sigh, she was thinking many things after everything Kris said, she closed her eyes "Kris come down" Susie and Noelle waited while looking up
Kris let himself fall, using the shadow mantle to descend more slowly, he stood about 7 steps ahead of Susie and Noelle
He had the helmet under his shoulder almost waiting to put it on, his eyes beyond their normal red tone, were somewhat reddened, indicating they had been crying
Kris could only see the look of pity and sadness from both girls, this made him tense, his lips trembled and he began to breathe faster
A small tear ran down his face and then another, he tensed more and broke down "I-I'm sorry, I know I'm a bad person, that everything I did was wrong, that I hurt you, I-I'm selfish, that I thought best for myself before facing the truth"
Susie kept the distance the same as Noelle, neither moved "I deceived you, I pushed you away, a-and I'm truly sorry, I understand if you hate me, if you want to leave me here, w-what"
Susie hugged him quickly "I missed you and I'm sorry" Susie squeezed tighter to show him something more
Kris began to hyperventilate even more while tears ran, Noelle joined the hug, she had tears at the corners of her eyes, but she hugged him "b-but why, you should hate me, I lied, I deceived you all this time, I was selfish, a-and I was going to end the world with the knight, I-I worked for him--"
"enough, I wouldn't hate you for that, not after everything we've been through together" Susie stopped him, she hugged him tighter as she spoke
"b-but, I pushed you away and--" said a confused Kris
"well I didn't try to get closer before, well I'm going to do it now" Noelle scolded him while likewise hugging him
Kris couldn't take it anymore and finally began to cry without pause despite the tears falling on Noelle and Susie
"maybe you didn't have control of everything and sorry if maybe we never realized, likewise I also hurt you and got away with it despite everything, I don't care about everything in the past, he's still my friend" said Susie while a couple of tears also ran down her face
"I'm also sorry, for sometimes not being able to be strong for both of us, you tried so hard for everyone and almost no one noticed, that includes me" Noelle put one of her hands on one side of Kris's face "w-we're still friends, not everything is your fault and I don't blame you for everything just like Susie" Noelle hugged him again
Kris was still crying, but now with a smile on his face, he thanked whatever deity had given him this blessing, forgiveness, this could only be blessed forgiveness
At the same time it was finally reciprocal and he hugged them "thank you, thank you for forgiving me"
"we're friends, right" said Susie with a big smile, even despite the tears at the corners of her eyes
"besides I got my friend back" said a Noelle equally happy despite everything "but now what do we do?" she looked at Susie and Kris
"if it's about the fountain, we'll go and seal it" said Kris now a little calmer and still with teary eyes "but just like that for a moment more, just a little more"
Kris returned to the hug and both Noelle and Susie were reciprocal
Maybe not everything was perfect, but at least now the three of them were together, they had each other