Chapter Text
Before their conversation, he told his mother to shower and change into something comfortable. Anything to alleviate any of the stress that was to come. As she did, Jim put on another t-shirt and bustled around in the dark kitchen, getting used to his sore human body again. He had to remember that he didn’t have to be careful of his grip strength, and he was able to pick up a mug like normal. It wasn’t surprising when he broke one cup while trying to make tea. Must’ve been his shaky hands.
As he steeped the tea and poured in a spoonful of honey, Jim began planning. He wasn’t going to tell his mom the whole truth. The last time he had told everyone he was in a time loop…He was going to stick to telling her the basics. All she needed to know was that he was the Trollhunter and what the Amulet was going to do to him as time went on. Trying to keep it a secret from her had never gone well. He couldn’t blame her for throwing a lamp at him that one time she had come home early to find Jim as a half-troll munching on forks in the kitchen—he was pretty hideous to look at.
When his mother came down, he was seated on the couch and arranging the cups for the fifth time. Her eyes had bags under them, and she had changed from her scrubs to a soft shirt and linen pants.
“Okay,” she said. “I’m ready, kiddo.”
Jim handed her a mug of the herbal tea, trying to drag out the moment for as long as possible. His mom noticed this and took his hand in her empty one.
“Is this what Walter was talking about last night? About you having too much on your plate?”
“I guess?” Jim said, looking anywhere but at his mother. “I mean, it has to do with it. You’ll have to promise you won’t freak out, though, okay?”
His mother looked apprehensive. “I’ll try my best.”
That was the best he could ask for.
“So, I’ve been feeling a bit tired because I found this thing the other day at the canal.”
Barbara’s gaze sharpened. “It better not be drugs—”
“What? No, it’s not drugs, Mom, let me finish explaining.” Jim dropped his mother’s hand and ran fingers through his hair. Still no signs of horns. He pulled the Amulet out of his pocket. “It’s this amulet, see. I picked it up, and these creatures called trolls came. They live under the canals in Trollmarket, and they said I was—said I was chosen to become their “Trollhunter.” That I had to protect them from evil trolls called Gumm-Gumms.”
“Jim, trolls don’t exist.”
“Just because you haven’t seen any doesn’t mean they’re not there!” Jim protested. His fingers twisted in his lap, running over the bumpy face of the amulet. “But that’s not all. There’s only ever been troll Trollhunters. I’m the first human Trollhunter, so the Amulet has a bit of a…side effect.”
His mother looked at him, a bit skeptically, but still willing to listen. She might not believe in trolls now, but she would soon. At least she wasn’t calling him a liar and dragging him to the hospital to get poked and prodded.
“Because I’m not a troll, when I wear the Amulet, it turns me into one. Well, a half-troll.”
“Jim,” His mom’s eyes had softened a bit, and she grabbed his knee reassuringly. “Is this you telling me that you really do want to join the theater club? You could’ve just told me, kiddo.”
“No,” Jim said, standing up. “I’m telling the truth, Mom. You gotta listen to me, I really—I really am the Trollhunter. I could prove it with the amulet, but,” he trailed off, looking at the amulet. “I’d rather not after I just took it off. I have these two fr-trolls that have been training me, and they want me to go against this really bad troll and…you don’t believe me, do you?”
His mother had a smile on her face, the one reserved for children telling fanciful tales. Jim’s shoulders slumped. Damn, another one of these timelines, huh?
“Kiddo,” His mom said, standing too and reaching for him. “Listen, I know school has been hard recently—”
What had he done differently this time? What had caused this reaction, for his mother to look at him like he was brittle?
Jim pulled back sharply. Their tea was forgotten, growing cold in the rising tension. “This has nothing to do with school! You think I’m worried about school right now? I’m telling you the truth, and you’re not listening! I-I could die, I’ve died, and all you think is happening is that this is the premise for the next school play?!”
His mother’s eyebrows furrowed almost quizzically. “Jim, don’t say things like that. There can’t be trolls living under Arcadia; someone surely would have seen them!”
“They can’t be seen by humans, Mom, or it would endanger them.” Jim’s knuckles were white from his fingers digging into the Amulet.
He never could find the right combo of proof and exposition for his mother. He couldn’t even imagine a conversation about the timelines and the loop he was doomed to cycle. Taking a deep breath, he tried to compose himself. He was sounding irrational, and looking irrational wouldn’t help at all. His mom deserved the truth, whether she believed it or not was up to her. Jim just had to figure out how to convince her he wasn’t fucking insane.
But then, “You’re starting to sound like your father, all this talk about trolls and Gunn-Gumm’s. Listen, kiddo, it’s nearly three in the morning, maybe we both just need sleep—”
Something cracked and caved in. “Fine. Fine! I’ll go get Blinky, and he can prove it to you.”
“Jim, wait!”
He didn’t slow, not after he went through the front door, or when his mother stood on the porch and called his name. Instead, he was down the road, only the street lights illuminating his way.
Jim’s mother didn’t believe him. It wasn’t like he was a pathological liar and never told her anything remotely close to the truth. Well… At least he hadn’t in the first timeline, so she should have no basis to go off of this time! Honestly, it shouldn’t be a surprise now; he’d acted strangely, and she thought he had found drugs. He focused on the indignation so he didn’t feel what lingered underneath.
It didn’t occur to him until he was standing under the bridge that he had no horn-gazel and was therefore unable to get into Trollmarket. He looked down and realized he was barefoot. No shoes, there were little stinging sensations across his soles from loose debris. Fucking shit. He slumped against the wall and was thankful it wasn’t too cold tonight. The minutes passed. Some of the hurt abated, and he was able to think rationally again.
Until the wall behind him opened up and he fell backwards to stare up into the many eyes of the troll he was looking for.
“Blinky!” He rolled to his feet. “I was looking for you!”
The four-armed troll gaped at him. “Master Jim, it appears you have returned to your human visage! Why were you searching for me?”
“Would you mind coming with me to convince my mother I’m not high and that trolls exist? And maybe also this?” Jim tugged down his neckline to show the circle of slowly growing stone skin.
“Great Gronka Morka, is that the Amulet’s doing?”
“Yeah, it was there when I took the amulet off, and my mom caught me. It looks like I’ll be half-troll pretty soon without the Amulet on.”
“Fascinating,” Blinky muttered, six eyes trained on the darker skin. “Well, since you have deemed that you must involve your mother, I will accompany you to help with the…unfortunate fallout.”
“Great, I could really use the backup.” Jim adjusted his shirt and stepped out of the tunnel opening with Blinky. “I just hope she isn’t anywhere near a broom.”
“We’ll see what we can do,” Blinky said.
The walk back was quiet, but Jim could feel Blinky’s eyes watching every motion while they stuck to the shadows. An eye would focus on him when he scratched his chin, or stumbled on a stray stone. He was analyzing Jim, and he didn’t know why. Maybe he had something on his face.
The sky was starting to lighten into a dusky blue by the time they made it to Jim’s home. Through the lit window, he could see his mother pacing the living room on her phone. Jim felt his back pocket. Empty. He’d left his phone at home, and she had no way to contact him. Well shit, that was basically a killing order.
“I guess we can go in the front door. It’s still pretty late.”
“Lead the way, Master Jim.”
Wincing as he opened the door, Jim peeked his head in to meet his mother’s eyes. “Hey, Mom,”
“Jim!” She cried, dropping her phone onto the nearest vertical surface before rushing to hug him. “You can’t run off like that, kiddo! You made me worried!”
“Sorry. I brought someone for you to meet. You promised you wouldn’t freak out, remember?” He nudged his mother away to look at her. Darker eye bags were forming. His heart fell.
“Jim, please tell me you didn’t wake someone up at four in the morning for—Oh my god!”
Blinky, still behind their door, had peeked in and offered a hearty “Salutations!”
His mother yelped and yanked on Jim to get him away from the perceived threat. Blinky just nudged the door wider with a toothy grin. At least someone was happy about this situation. That smile was quickly wiped away as his mom lunged for the bookshelf—the closest object—and started throwing bookish projectiles. Blinky had to dive out of the way or risk a sharp corner to an eye.
“Not my optic orbs!” he cried from where he covered his face on the floor.
“Mom, stop! This is one of the trolls I was telling you about! This is Blinky!” Jim leapt in front of his mother’s attack and caught another book she had half-heartedly tossed.
“That thing’s a troll?” She asked, another book poised to throw.
“Indeed! I’ve come to aid young Master Jim here in elucidating you on the ways of my species!" Pushing himself off the floor, Jim helped Blinky to his feet.
“He won’t hurt you, Mom,” He reassured as he brought Blinky forward. Their dynamic once they knew each other was something most entertaining to Jim. It was always hilarious watching his mother and father figure discuss Jim’s health like it was something important.
Blinky’s face turned grave. “I assure you that I have never cared for the taste of human flesh, and violence has never settled well with me. You can rest easy knowing I mean you no harm.”
“Well,” His mother’s voice was wobbly, but she lowered her weapon. “Well! I guess trolls really do exist!”
“What has your son told you of our existence so far?”
“Just that trolls were living under bridges and that he found an amulet that said he was a trollfighter?” His mother moved to pick up the fallen books, and Blinky followed, helping her clean up the tomes. His four hands smoothed out the covers.
“Trollhunter, and all those facts are indeed true. Your son has been chosen for a sacred duty—”
“My son is fifteen,” His mother cut in. “And I’m not letting him fight.”
“Your son is right here, and he’s turning sixteen soon.” It was always like this, as if Jim hadn’t lived through life after life after life after life of doing this. As if he didn’t have a say in what he was capable of. “And I don’t mind fighting the Gumm-Gumm’s.”
“Master Jim was…remarkably skilled in the duel he competed in. And with only five minutes of training, no less!” Blinky placed the books on the shelves, then began organizing alphabetically.
“Jim,” her voice was reprimanding, hands on her hips. “You already got into a duel?”
“Just a small one!”
“With Draal the Deadly!” Jim scowled when Blinky chimed in. The six-eyed troll tried to recover. “Has Master Jim had any prior training? Maybe some martial arts, perhaps?”
His mother paused, stared at Blinky. “No, he’s never played any type of extra-curricular sports before, besides gym class at school.”
Jim, who was making a sign for Blinky to shut up, sighed when both turned to look at him. Damn, Blinky and his ignorance of human hand gestures. He’d have to teach them all over again.
“Really?” His mother said a bit doubtfully. “Jim’s never been the athletic type.”
“Only because I had the amulet on! It must have helped. Or something.” It was almost astonishing watching both adults’ faces morph into the same expression of outright disbelief. Jim shrugged.
“That still doesn’t mean you can fight those evil trolls, though! Why can’t you just pick someone else? My son is still a child.” She moved to sit on the red couch before slipping off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. Jim was about to stretch his arm out, but hesitated. He wished he could do something to comfort her.
“I would suggest the same thing, but it seems the Amulet has chosen Jim, and it is a responsibility he cannot refuse.” Blinky had both pairs of hands folded, almost pleadingly. “There is a reason the Amulet has picked him in particular, and I believe that I’m starting to see why. I know it can be a horrifying concept of your only child fighting in a war he has no business in, but fate has called, and the Trollhunter must accept every call.”
Barbara looked up at the blue troll before her. Fear marred her face as she swallowed. “But what if something happens to him?”
“I swear that I will train him to the best of my abilities so nothing will. It seems the Amulet itself also has his preservation in mind, as it turns him into a much more durable form.”
“Right,” His mother turned to Jim. “That’s the blue stuff on your chest? Why is it still there if the amulet’s off?”
Blinky and Jim made eye contact over his mom’s head. “I think it’ll be permanent, Mom.”
She stared at Jim, then at his chest where his heart was. “No.”
“What?”
“No. It can’t be permanent. How do you know it’s permanent?”
Jim sighed. It never got any easier. Where is my son? What did you do to my son? He could bet money on the expression she would make next. “I think the Amulet is working to switch me to become a half-troll even with it off. It’s already grown a good square inch since I took it off. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but once it’s finished, there's no cure.”
It followed him across every timeline. Merlin had been right; It was permanent. He could run, change timelines, try to avoid the Amulet, but sooner or later it would come back with stony skin and sharp fangs. Jim could wear his flimsy human skin, masquerade as something normal, but there was a body made of blue stone underneath that would always resurface.
“Are you sure? No cure at all? I’m sure we could find something.”
“And if there is,” Blinky interjected softly, “I will search my tomes and grimoires to find it.”
There was nothing. Jim had searched for days, but it was fruitless. Even Douxie had been unable to cobble something together. Merlin’s magic was too powerful, and when paired with the Amulet, it was a force Jim couldn’t face.
Tears dripped down his mother’s face. Jim grabbed tissues from a nearby box and handed them to her, hand on her shoulder. Sometimes she took his loss of humanity harder than he did. It was like she was already mourning him before he even left. His jaw clenched. A mother should never grieve for her son.
“When that day does come, I will care for him and keep an eye on our new Trollhunter,” Blinky tried to encourage. “With my preparation, he’ll be ready to face all life throws at him.”
“You have to protect my son, Blinky.” She grasped two of Blinky’s hands with fervor and made him meet her eyes. They were red and pleading.
Blinky’s face was solemn. “By Deya’s grace, I will.”
Jim wished, for a moment, that promises mattered.