Chapter Text
Chapter 8: Sweetest treat
~Ishkaya Nashiv~
There she was, sinking on the hay as Karina who was over a handful steps away was boiling food as in to reheat it the proper way instead of heating the can, Ishkaya’s subconscious still thinking about what had happened to a river, though her eyes hypnotized as she stared at the hands of her pocket clock ticking and tocking around in a constant circle.
Oh how slowly time passed as she sunk deeper and deeper into the hay– or maybe Ishkaya was just imagining it and her back already touched the bottom of the pile. She then set her pocket watch aside, staring at the roof of the barn, her arms stretched out, the sun leaking through the holes that littered the walls.
Spaced out, thoughts only about how Kestliberg would be like, that is if it was still standing. She doubted it would’ve been burnt down, but from what she’d seen it was a very certain possibility, though Ishkaya asked herself about her parents.
‘They’re probably all gone– I mean I hope they’re fine. Do I?’
Ishkaya thought they had left when she was enlisted, moved somewhere else deeper into the city side but knowing them, they probably had changed their mind as soon as she was gone. Those two always argued with each other over everything, Ishkaya rolling her eyes at the thought of so many nights lost to useless arguments that led nowhere.
But what about Kestliberg itself? Most of her didn’t care for the town anymore, she’d found home here with Karina, but a fraction of her wished that it still stood– purely for the memories she once made growing up, even if they weren’t exactly the most pleasant, there were still nostalgic worth times sprinkled about.
Then her arm was suddenly crushed by a the weight of an entire woman falling right next to her, a clink in a can from the wooden spoon as their now long messy hair tangled with the grasses that made up the hay, Ishkaya turning her gaze to see Karina asking;
“Whatcha thinking about?” Karina taking a scoop and eating it, then seemingly chewing on the wood for some odd reason.
“Nothing much.”
“You always say that but I know your head’s wandering around. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Then maybe stop staring.”
And this that, Karina promptly smack Ishkaya on the head with the can in her hand scolding Ishkaya;
“Don’t tell me where to point my eyes at,” Then giggling like an idiot as Ishkaya’s mouth formed a faint smile she tried to hide, a flush of heat filling her heart before Ishkaya asked;
“So did you heat anything for me huh?”
“Yeah. But it’s on the table so you have to grab it yourself,” Karina still looking giddy as ever with Ishkaya pulling her arm from under them, calling Karina heavy before walking over to that table, touching the cap feeling the warmth of it as she took the can key and twisted it open before looking around for a spoon just for there to be none.
‘Hey Kari you got a spoon?”
Though when she peered over to Karina, they were chewing her own, looking wide eyed as if she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed too, responding with,
“No…?” Only for Ishkaya to chuckle internally, turning back to the desk where the magnesium rod to start the stove was stored right next to it, then spotting a desk drawer stored under well– the desk making Ishkaya pull it open as ask herself what other things they could find in the drawer.
The contents of the drawer were bare, being a small set of silverware tossed in and a peculiar wooden box neatly placed in the rear corner, Ishkay taking it out and dusting it, making sure to shove the silverware into her pants pocket. But the box could wait, she was hungry, Ishkaya taking the can key and twisting it open using the newly found spoon to eat the food.
After a few spoonfuls though, the thought that Ishkaya should’ve washed the spoon before putting it anywhere near her mouth crossed her mind but it was a bit too late so… though as she was eating the can while shoving Karina’s crackers she left out into her mouth, Ishkaya asked Karina if she could pack up the stove as they were gonna head out as soon.
“Soooo… what’s the box for?”
Ishkaya shrugged, unable to respond with a mouthful as that would obviously be very disrespectful, and discipline still mattered. Karina packed away most of the items they had brought out, including the map as Ishkaya quickly finished her meal and whipped out the map, gauging where to go.
Then it hit her, that convoy. It was heading north which was the way to the border which was also where she and Karina were headed, filling her brain with doubt as if they should continue, her logical part saying that the chance they would meet with that convey was low, and she didn’t even have much of a solid reason to head up north anyways.
And yet, against her better judgment, she chose to head up to Kestilberg anyways, noting that there was a dirt path behind the barn that she could take, a shortcut Ishkaya thought as she folded up the map and walked over to push Bitsy II out of the barn to then hear Karina behind her asking about the box with childlike curiosity making Ishkaya walk back inside and over to Karina who had already popped the latches.
They opened the canister carefully to not damage the seeming expensive hard wood, the box containing a few pictures of woman, Karina reaching for it and staring deeply, tilting it for Ishkaya to see, describing how lighting and atmosphere around the frame gave a sense of thoughtful tenderness, person who took this photo seemingly doing so with observational care.
Ishkaya however couldn’t really see all the beauty in the photo. Maybe it was her, that she couldn’t see the attractiveness of such a photo, but she had paid attention to Karina’s ramblings as if she understood what they said, wishing that someday, she could see the grace of photography.
Perhaps one day, Karina could teach her, making Ishkaya feel a tense of safety yet worry about the ever so uncertain future as Ishkaya snapped back to attention, looking down to spot the photo of the woman Karina had just described to her, the woman having a sharp yet soft face with an encouraging look in her eyes, Ishkaya looking back up to Karina who was rummaging though the box.
Karina laid out a golden locket that opened to display a piece of hair, a few more photos with the woman and another man that seemed just as keen as the woman, eyes with wonder just like Karina’s though missing the stars that Ishkaya stared so deep into.
There was also a light stack of cash that Karina asked if it was right to even take it, forcing Ishkaya to make the decision. They both ‘broke’ into someone's barn and were quite literally stealing and to mention that they both were going through their stuff, it didn’t seem right but.
No witness. Ishkaya then playing devil’s advocate stating that;
“Unfortunately, these people probably in all likelihood had been forcefully moved away so they’ll never see this place again.”
A good argument that Karina sadly knew was the truth, pocketing the money yet leaving the rest of the items as they had found them, Ishkaya walking back out to Bitsy II, reaching to grab her helmet and goggles with Karina doing the same, both of them hopping on Bitsy II.
Ishkaya then began to force the motorcycle to do a 360 telling Karina that they were taking a short cut, pushing throttle and speeding off north to where uncertainty lay, feeling the bumps of each rock and the harsh now winter air pushing against Ishkaya who found herself fantasizing about a future with them, a future where that they were just together, the only thing that ever mattered.
Dirt that dusted in the air and dead grass that passed, on another dirt road that was thinner than any other path Ishkaya had drove on, only the width worth 2 people, Bitsy II barely squeezing by going north to Kestilberg, the drive over being boring and the messy road forcing Ishkaya to slow instead of pushing the throttle full forward, unfortunate.
Though there was the shade– somewhat as branches loomed over covering and blackening the ground which was nice, yet still cold to then appear an opening that lead to another dirt road, and with a compass to guide both of them north, in only a few moments did it take for them both to find what looked to be;
The town of Kestiberg, appearing in the distance, only to drive closer and spot what seemed to be only described as a mound of ashes and the skeleton of foundations of a village that once stood proud, a place that once grew grain and was the home of families.
Oh how you were forgotten and were torn apart by horrors that were out of anyone but the most powerful’s controls. To see the place Ishkaya had grown up in her entire life ravaged broke something lost, buried deep in her soul, a piece of ice melting from an iceberg.
And yet, she herself felt nothing, only her own subconscious left to worry as she carefully reached out for Karina’s hand, like a baby searching for the comfort of their mother, finding their palm, wrapping around it, grasping tight.
Burnt down, all nothing but ashes, the town of Kestilberg that now only exists on a map that had been long outdated. And yet, there were no craters or any military installations of the like, not even buildings standing that were riddled with bullets, the only ones who were up being the foundations of char.
Ishkaya pulled Karina around, if only this place wasn’t marched upon by. A shame as they both explored the remains of her own home town, Ishkaya remembering the exact path to where she once lived, and over there remained
Nothing.
Only the shell of a house, something unrecognizable yet so familiar, the only thing that was to be remembered was to be the path that led to another skeleton that looked like all the other houses. It gave a sense that Ishkaya’s own ‘home’ was no different, that the meat grinder that passed through gave no sorrows, oh how true it was.
But what else was to be expected? Certainly not tears but a sense of remorse. She couldn’t be bothered as she stared at the ruins, but this was no longer her home now, where she lived was wherever Karina and Bitsy II took them, turning to head to see out of the corner of her eye Karina peering about the remains.
“This… uhm, was your hometown?” Karina taking in a hefty breath before then asking, “I assume the one we’re in front of was yours?– And sorry about… this.”
Ishkaya ignored her pity, but it was nice to see that Karina cared, another thing to note down about her that was worth it all. Then Karina stepped closer to her, the heat picking up lightly as the coolness and air settled down, gray clouds filling the sky followed by the patter of light sprinkling now falling down and tinkering on their helmets.
“I don’t think there's anything for us here.” – “Cmon. Let’s just leave, it’s gonna start raining anyways.”
Karina nodded in agreement and began swaying around Ishkaya's arm in a circle, mostly likely bored– or something like that, Ishkaya taking another good look around before turning with Karina back to Bitsy II still hand in hand, in hopes of never letting go.
Now both of them were all in silence besides the rain that now began to pick up and plink the ground and their helmets, the water beginning to shower down with the dirt wetting and the charcoal like remnants of furniture going dark in the spots where water hit, Ishkaya walking yet lost in thought as Karina was looking about.
The fact that quite literally everything Ishkaya once recognized of this place, her neighbor's house, the store that lived across the street to the left which they’d just passed, all simply forgotten, either to be reclaimed by nature or to again be built on top of, replacing the houses that once were.
But Ishkaya shrugged mentally, there were no tears to be given and no reason to mourn what was already lost, the only choice was to move on and– then sound of a few marching men talking in their own foreign tongue that struck Ishkaya wrong and the sound being so close that made Karina immediately stop playing with her arm to listen muttering–
“I don’t think we’re alone.”
“Figured.” Ishkaya whispered back as the both stopped in their tracks, Ishkaya then analyzing her surroundings to see where the voice came from to spot a group of men wearing the same uniforms she had seen when that convoy passed, rain now showering, but that was the least of Ishkaya’s concerns.
And unfortunately, for them both the now showering rain which began to pick up wouldn’t hide their shape nor would it hide their heavy boots clanking the ground, only muffle it, aided with the fact that there was quite a place to hide, it didn’t seem to paint a very pretty picture.
If only they don’t spot them and they could just sneak by— if only Ishlaya thought as she then let go of Karina’s hand to her own dismay, placing it on top her holster still peering at the patrol’s direction.
All focus towards them, yet still slowly inching in the direction of Bitsy II. Then a thought crossed Ishkaya’s mind, how was she gonna deal with this patrol if it escalated, what would Karina do, pulling her eyes over to look at her.
Karina meanwhile was staring off at wherever Ishkaya's eyes had just laid before, then noticing Ishkaya’s gaze, turning to look at her with an unreadable expression though Ishkaya could see some worry in her eyes, looking back at the patrol to see that they were seemingly closer, yet still oblivious.
They both knew– or Ishkaya assumed Karina knew that if they were to be caught, their last moments would be the end of a cold metal barrel, so it was either fight or flight and there wasn’t exactly a place to run off too– no foliage, no ruins that would provide adequate cover, the only thing that could mask them was the approaching darkness the rain which now began to pour.
Ishkaya then changed her plans of movement to tried to inch behind one of the still semi-what standing yet dilapidated building praying that the pattering of the rain would hide their footsteps, noticing that one of the uniformed soldiers who seemed to be a sergeant as he stopped right smack middle of the street and began to talk as one other man of the squad reached a hand out and voiced something.
But hopes and prayers meant nothing as she then heard shouting, seeing that they’d been spotted, whispering over to Karina to just pretend to surrender, that Ishkaya had a plan, a mad one at that, but who would notice another crazy person around here?
‘Oh. We’re fucked aren’t we?’ Karina asked as she stared at the approaching company, Ishkaya staying silent as one of the soldiers reached them, rifle still held out, Ishkaya almost able to see straight down it.
The sergeant then spoke in a broken tongue of her own language stating;
“What are you doing here? Do you know that this place is not meant for civilians.” Their eyes seemingly surveying both of Ishkaya’s and Karina's outfits, staring longingly at their helmets, Ishkaya making sure to angle her holster away.
Then the man spoke again interrogating;
“Do you speak?”
“Yeah I do,” Ishkaya contemplating adding an insult as she spoke, though deciding against it
“Good. Do you have ID?”
“No.” And it was true, neither her nor Karina had IDs, and the ones they did have weren’t valid anymore, Ishkaya mouthing to Karina as the sergeant turned his back that this probably wasn’t going to end well, to ready herself to start running as soon as this thing went off track.
The man then turned back, asking them both to come with them— or well more like demanded, his squad moving closer yet their rifles pointing down though still tense. But still.
“Come on. Do you understand?” He spoke, now louder, frustrated or impatient? Probably both he then, raising his rifle to threaten with Ishkaya readying to draw, her heart rate raising, beating louder, roaring in her own chest but she stood still for when the moment spoke.
And it came in the forward as the soldier raised their rifle and began to bark out a threat, but before they could even mutter a word, Ishkaya mind flashing a screaming warning all over, she immediately drawing her revolver and nailing him in the stomach, sending another shot to send him down with gravity before shoving herself in front of Karina,
To which the 2 other men in the squad responded by attempting by pulling their guns upward, yet only one got to pull a shot off before they fell, that bullet going straight into Ishkaya’s guts, her body lurching forward yet still standing from adrenaline as she heard a loud crack and a flash of light as the rain now continued to hammer down.
There stood Karina, the one who would’ve nearly thrown up and collapse at the sight of any type of gore or blood with a pistol in hand, the only other soldier looking quite shocked– or something like that, her head felt like it was spinning around with the sound of raindrops pattering her uniform as her weight began to shift down, her hand reluctantly letting go of her weapon to grasp add pressure on her wound, dripping.
Karina shouted something as Ishkaya attempted to stand with all her might, a large part of her greatcoat soaked in scarlet as she stared down at it in confusion yet fear, Ishkaya’s mind replaying all the times she’d seen people fall one by one, their own liquid spilling across the dirt she then muttered something about; “No…” – “Not like this.”
But Ishkaya couldn’t tell what she was saying anymore as she heard the thud of wood on the ground as boots stomping away– or was it getting nearer? The rain wasn’t helping. She added her other hand on top of the one which was already coated in red, slowly slumping down as Ishkaya felt warm hands on herself, eyes still open yet flickering maybe from the rain that now pelted her face.
Shutting her eyes completely, pain now flowed through every bit of her skeleton, arms that ached from pressing too hard, the stomach feeling as if her own guts were being spilt out, leaking life’s liquid as the adrenaline faded from her body, everything went so by so fast– where was the fourth guy? Did Karina get him–?
She shot someone… Karina. Shooting someone. It felt so out of character and yet she did it anyways. The sound of guns ringing in her ear, it was like she was back there all over again, running away but the threat of guns behind her that loomed if she ever dared desert or if she even thought to not follow orders.
Blood, blood everywhere, her hands covered in the disgusting gore of men– humans she’d never met stained all because of what. The guts that spewed as a line of lead split the air with the roaring of industrial machinery to follow. She felt like she was drowning in the illusion of choice, oh why did she ever sign up.
Then the flash of a face she’d always seen yet never remembered appeared once more, that face engraved in her subconscious of a boy who was no older than she was, raising their hands and seeming to bargaining for their life surrounded by the screams for an angel with a red cross to come,
Come and save them. To come and pick them up from their already dug graves, to give them one last chance to see what they fought for– that boy who had his whole life torn away by.
Her.
It was her fault, why would it not? He kept appearing as if a ghost’s unrestful spirit was haunting her head, Ishkaya did something and the only thing that she could ever do came to her mind, to kill. The rain stopped as the calming rhythm of the droplets on the ground faded into the background, then stopping as this limbo of a dream and fear began.
It was her own fault, her hands committed the crime, oh how much she regretted everything, and yet still the fact that Karina chose her even if she wasn’t exactly so tender with anything— or how she was dry all the time.
She continued to spiral in her own mind, and yet throughout all of it, her stomach ached of pain. Ishkaya felt as if she was floating through an endless plain, flying almost then slammed straight into the ground by the war that continued on slaughtering in her head with dirt that flew in directions that obeyed no law of physics.
But Karina. She missed her. Where were they?
‘Where am I—?’ She muttered.
But to no answer as the limbo continued on, one moment of suffocation, the discharging of guns overhead, Ishkaya wishing to be by the rushing waters with Karina again. It felt like a nightmare interrupted by a spark of hope, her guts feeling as if they were trapped in only by a thread, soaked.
Time passes— or she assumed it did, it was hard to tell as everything was all over the place, a part of her face screeching in flashes of numb hotness, trying to run through pulled back by the ties that bound her to the cold metal of a trigger, scarred by screaming metals who flew as high as she stood, cutting her once eager form, the one who wanted to serve.
The one who made herself enlist, her heart begging for some type warmth to cover herself like Karina's arms around her once more, maybe she was yearning too much, all she needed was a smoke—
‘No. You said you’d quit it.’
But Ishkaya didn’t say that, was it her subconscious? It didn’t matter as her vision viewed older past memories of a better time,
‘Better then now..?’ She asked herself, her own brain replying;
‘No.’
Karina. If only she could hold them in their arms again, maybe just one last kiss as her brain blacked out to then wake with adrenaline, her heart beating out of her chest, everything aching as she instinctively reached down and gripped the stomach to realize that it was covered bandages with a layer of gauze to accompany it with nothing but hospital gown on.
She was still alive? And where was she?— Both questions she asked herself as Ishkaya peered around the room noting that she was on a stretcher, an infirmary? And over by what looked to be an exit the banners of what she was told were her allies which was odd, not as odd as the entire ropm being empty, but more space for her then.
And to her right, a resting woman who seemed familiar, long black unkept hair, pale skin, eyes shut, and their head leaned over on their shoulder with a sketchbook on her lap that was propping itself up to fall off their legs and that light grayish coat with that collar fluff and puffs on end of her sleeves— ‘Karina?’
‘Wha–? Oh huh…’ Her head picking back up and immediately glancing over to Ishkaya putting on a graceful smile and following her words up with very cheerful greeting of;
“Hi!! Hello! Are you okay? I didn’t uhm– you feeling good?” Karina asked as Ishkaya picked herself and moved over to the edge of the bed, staring down at the ground as she told Karina;
“I’m fine.” – “Where the fuck are we?” Picking her head up to observe her surroundings again.
“Some place, I’ll tell you about it later– just glad you’re doing alright I was just really worried you know?” Karina spoke as her sketchbook slapped onto the ground, reaching down to pick it back up, setting it on top of the knapsack that rested on the wall near the chair she was sitting in, then standing up.
“So… does anything hurt?”
“No, nothing.” But Ishkaya knew that was a lie, she just didn’t want to tell Karina about it for… no reason. Why would she even hide that? Maybe she should be more open about it, it wasn’t like Karina would judge her for a bit of pain.
Everything ached as she attempted to stand up, Karina walking over reaching out a hand silently asking if Ishkaya needed help which she didn’t. She could do this herself, and Ishkaya proved it as she stood high, though still pained she managed, taking Karina’s hand afterwards just to feel the softness of their skin who was now roughed up.
“You look messy,” They spoke with such tenderness, reaching out their free hand to push a lock of hair that covered Ishkaya’s vision, taking their palm and resting it on her face as Karina’s thumb caressed the round scarred skin, Ishkaya standing there without object her her heartbeat picked up, a flash of fieriness vibrating throughout her chest, overriding the hurt that rested there.
The sun seemed to make everything look majestic, including Karina who stood in front of her, puppetering their hand up to their shoulders level propping them right in front of Ishkaya’s eyes before speaking;
“I’m glad you’re okay.” Karina still maintaining eye contact as she spoke, confessing;
“I never want to do that again. Never in my life,” She then folding onto Ishkaya, resting her head on Ishkaya’s shoulder as they dropped her hands to wrap around her waist, taking Ishkaya by surprise who responded;
“Hey, it’s okay. We’re here aren’t we? Don’t—” Only to be interrupted by Karina muttering about how she’d thought she lost Ishkaya, how every thought seemed to be drowned out by the rain at the moment asking, begging, bargaining even,
“I get that you had to do that but please, if you can, don’t.” — “I can’t lose you.”
And those words stuck in Ishkaya’s head like tar, that she became so important to a person who cared about her, a feeling so foreign, Ishkaya standing still, the pain now forgotten replaced by a pinch of pink that spread across her face.
“Can I… there's just this one thing I’ve really wanted to do. I can’t wait anymore so let me just ask, could I?” Ishkaya’s arm patting their back in any attempt to comfort them, she answering;
“Sure..? Wait wha—“ But before she could finish, Karina plucked her head from off Ishkaya’s shoulder and placed their mouth in front of their lips, one hand raising from Ishkaya’s waist in a more hugging manner.
Which Ishkaya barely noticed as her entire face began to grow red, the flavor chocolate filling her mouth as she froze in a state of bewilderment, Karina leaning in hard as she stood on her the top of her toes in attempt to reach their lips,
Chocolate sweetness as Ishkaa recovered from shock to grab Karina and give her back the embrace, holding tight welded together leaving no oxygen in between, feeling each other's heartbeat as the both burned and rushed, to feel their body upon on anothers,
And how great it felt, to taste her inside of her mouth, something that would’ve disgusted her but Karina melted all those concerns away as Ishkaya indulged on how slow and gentle with maybe too much pressure as their tongues circling in an irregular motion, the only emotion to be described being steamy as Ishkaya couldn’t decide whether to be embarrassed or flustered.
For a while Ishkaya and Karina stood there interlocked in sugary unrest as eventually Karina pulled away leaving behind a thin ropey that connected their mouths, staring straight in Ishkaya’s eyes and telling her ever so sincerely in a voice that truly gave what it spoke of,
“I love you.”
And to return the favor, still squirming with blush all over Ishkaya told Karina,
“Love you too, Kari.”
[END… i think]