Chapter Text
Chapter Twenty-One
"Lost Chances"
Eddie
If it were up to him, Eddie wouldn't be gearing up to confront his parents in his abuelita's house. Instead, he'd confront them within the walls of their own home before leaving a trail of dust in his wake.
Unfortunately, he doesn't and has never had the confidence.
When he steps inside, the first person Eddie sees is his mother. Helena Diaz is standing over a decorative table, her back to the door, pouring a cup of water into a vase of flowers.
"The boys are here!" Pepa cheers, stepping aside to let the three of them through.
Helena looks over her shoulder as she empties the cup and smiles.
"Eddie! Hi!" She wipes her hands together then steps in for a hug, which Eddie accepts awkwardly. "Good to see you again."
Eddie offers only a weak smile when the hug breaks, his mouth already drying up. It wasn't much, but where is that confidence from when he got Christopher back in El Paso?
Where is it now?
"Hi grandma!" Chris greets, pulling Eddie out his thoughts.
He steps off to the side to be out of the way, tucking himself into a corner.
"Christopher!" His mom lights up in an even brighter smile, now holding her arms out for her grandson. Chris breaks into his own grin and happily wraps his arms and crutches around her.
Eddie shifts his gaze to Buck, who is currently observing the inside of the home as he closes the front door.
"Oh! Buck," Pepa starts, pointing at his lunch bag. Buck's eyebrows raise in polite curiosity. "You can take those into the kitchen with mama."
"Gotcha," Buck nods, offering Helena a polite head dip as he disappears into the back of the house.
As Chris lowers himself onto the couch, the three adults shift on their feet awkwardly. Helena goes to speak, but is cut off by Isabela's laughter.
"Evancito! It's good to see you!"
"It's good to see you too! Uh, where did you want the cookies?"
The corners of Eddie's lips quirk up and a sense of relief washes over him as he listens to their excitement. Then his mother clears her throat and ruins the moment.
"Oh there's your father," she laughs, stepping away from the hallway to let Ramon pass through.
Ramon raises his hand in a lousy wave, yawning.
"Tired from the flight?" Eddie asks, popping his knuckles.
"Something like that," Ramon sighs. "Didn't get much sleep last night."
Eddie hums, rubbing his hands together. He journeys over to the couch and sits down beside Christopher, which signals the others to do the same.
"Dad?" Chris asks.
"Hm?"
"Can I have a cookie before dinner?"
Eddie snickers, shaking his head. "I don't know bud," he laughs.
"Cookies?" Helena asks, frowning.
"Stocking up for a sugar crash? Are these really the healthiest choices you could make?"
"This stuff isn't for me. No I'm delivering them."
"Well I suppose that's better than thinking that's what's in your cupboards when Christopher comes to visit."
"Buck made chocolate chip cookies," Chris answers proudly, before Eddie gets the chance to open his mouth. Probably a good thing.
"They're in the bag he brought," Eddie clarifies, pointing his thumb towards the kitchen.
"And they're my favorite," Chris elaborates.
"Ah," Ramon nods. He scratches the hair that peppers his chin. "So, that's Buck? Have we met him before? His voice sounds familiar."
"You have," Helena says, placing a hand on his knee. "You remember, when they came through Texas a few years ago to fight the fires over in Austin? They had their lady friend with them?"
Lady friend?
"Oh! Yes, I remember now," Ramon nods, waving her off.
"So, he'll be joining us for dinner?" Helena lounges back and fluffs her shirt, folding her hands on her crossed knee.
Pepa sighs, sending a brief glance to Eddie. "Yes, Helena, he will be."
"Hey I don't have a problem with him being here!" she says, a little too quick to defend herself. "I just don't quite understand why he is. I thought this was a family dinner."
"Buck is family."
"Buck is family."
Chris and Eddie blink and share a glance, not really surprised at their shared reaction. Pepa just chuckles.
"It's true, he is," she agrees. "Mamà and I don't get to spend as much time with him as we'd like, but he is well-mannered and amazing in the kitchen. I'd be honored to call him family. My nephew, even."
Eddie smiles, looking down into his hands.
Buck. Family. Nephew.
He looks back up to see his mother shifting uncomfortably.
"If you give him a chance, I'm sure you'll like him," Pepa says softly, her voice low.
But Eddie knows that his mother has already made up her mind. Somewhere, rooted not too deep in her head, she sees Buck as a threat or a bad influence and she has no intent to change her perspective.
One dinner isn't going to cut it, as much as Eddie wishes it would.
"Phew, hey guys!" Buck huffs and laughs, cutting around the corner into the living room.
Eddie keeps his smile to a minimum—which is not an easy task when it comes to Buck—and scoots over to make space for him.
"Here, Chris." Buck holds out a cookie, and the boy lights up at the offer.
"He was just asking for one too," Eddie chuckles, his eyes following Buck as he sits.
"I figured he would be," Buck smiles. He turns back to the crowd, and his demeanor changes. "Oh! Yes! Sorry, Mrs. and Mr. Diaz."
Both he and Ramon stand to exchange handshakes, Ramon with a confused but respectful smile. Helena stands too, but her handshake is a bit more timid.
"Nice to meet you again, Buck," Ramon finishes, sitting back down.
"You too sir," Buck nods.
He turns to Eddie, but before Buck can get too far into his emotional evaluation, Eddie cuts him off with a smile and a nod.
I'm fine.
"So! Boys, how has firefighting been?" Helena inquires, looking only at Eddie.
Jesus.
Eddie inhales a breath, thinking back to their most recent shifts.
"Not bad. I mean, our most recent one was fairly exhausting. A lot of calls that night. The first emergency was with a family had their house burn down. We got everyone out safely though."
Ramon shakes his head and Helena rubs her heart. Fortunately, the sympathy seems to be real.
"I couldn't imagine going through that. My heart goes out to them," she sighs.
"Doesn't help that law enforcement can be a real pain when it comes to these things too," Buck adds. Helena allows him her attention, and he continues. "This one cop was getting onto the mom—who was trying to keep herself and three kids calm, by the way—so I had to get one of our close Sergeants to take him off the scene." He shakes his head. "They can be real jerks sometimes."
When Helena's eyes light up at the last detail, Eddie's stomach twists.
"I think I know who you're talking about…" She turns to Eddie, curious. "Sergeant Grant, right? The wife of your late captain?"
Beside him, Buck flinches.
And Eddie wants to reach out, bridge the gap on the one other topic they've barely talked about recently. He wants to lay his hand on Buck's knee and forget his own grief.
But he can't.
Fucking hell mom, he thinks.
"Yeah, that's her," Buck whispers.
"We all miss him," Eddie adds, staring at the carpet.
Buck clears his throat. "Excuse me," he says, beelining for the bathroom.
But before Eddie has the chance to say anything to his mother—
"Dinner's ready!"
He sighs, and the family stands to migrate into the dining room.
Does staying silent make him a coward?
Eddie clenches his hand around his fork with so much force he's worried the metal will snap.
There's nothing in particular bothering him, just the reunion itself. His parents presence, the dam that's seconds away from collapsing.
"What made that woman's house burn down?"
Eddie swallows his bite of soup, frowning.
"The story you told us earlier. What made that family's house burn down?" Helena clarifies, folding her hands under her chin.
"Oh," he sighs, going for another bite. "I don't really remember. A lot of my job now is being a paramedic. I wasn't apart of the crew that was putting out the flames."
"It was an electrical fire," Buck answers, wiping his mouth. "They got unlucky. Not one but two of their appliances over heated that same night. That's not something we see often."
"But electrical fires are common?"
Buck nods. "Very."
Helena mulls it over and takes another bite. Eddie takes his next carefully.
"I'd hate for that to happen to you," Helena says, directing the comment straight at Eddie.
If this weren't my beloved Grandmother's house, I might start one my fucking self.
"Mom," he warns, but it falls flat in volume.
"I'm just saying!" she defends, throwing her hands up.
Out of the corner of Eddie's eye, he watches Buck's hand move to his phone.
"I mean, you spent all that money on your house. And then you left! If an electrical fire were to happen to you and Christopher, you're a million miles away we can't help as easily!"
Buck keeps fidgeting.
"An electrical fire was much more likely to happen there than here," Eddie reasons, shuddering at the thought of his old fixer upper.
Reasons? That's not the right word.
"Well if you had stayed I'm sure you could've gotten the house rewired," Helena challenges.
"With what money?" Eddie tests back.
"I agree with Eddie. His house here is much more suitable for a family," Isabel chimes in. "And, Buck was keeping the house warm for him. It made the whole transition back home easier."
Helena sends a glare Buck's way, and it lights Eddie's body on fire. He's grateful Buck doesn't catch it. But when he glances to his right, he sees that Chris did.
Fuck.
"Well if we were invited to help, Helena and I would've loved to pitch in to make the move back smoother. Hell, we could've helped pay for the rewiring!" Ramon adds.
"Dad, please. Drop the electrical comments," Eddie snaps.
"Don't talk to your father like that," Helena scolds, tilting her head in disappointment.
"Okay, okay," Pepa cuts in, waving her hands to get everyone to calm down.
"Seriously Eddie, you left Texas, for what?" Helena continues, ignoring her sister in law's warnings. "You had a firefighting job lined up, so don't lie and say it because of work.".
"Because I made a life for myself and Christopher here, and this is where I believe we both belong. So no, not just for work. But also because of my team and our other family," Eddie asserts.
Helena rolls her eyes. "Other family," she mutters underneath her breath. "Christopher belongs in Texas, where he was born. He deserves to—" Her eyes widen as she looks his way. "Where did he go?"
Eddie snaps his head to the side, knowing he was just here a second ago.
"Living room, maybe?" Isabel suggests. "He took his phone with him."
When Eddie looks her way, he sees Buck shake his head and calmly swallow his next bite.
"No, I sent him home with a friend of ours," he explains to her. Isabel let's out an ah, and nods. And then to Eddie—"Chris is with Hen."
And Eddie lets out a heaving sigh of relief for more reasons than one. "Thank you."
Buck shakes his head. "We'll talk later," he whispers, is voice low and steady.
Eddie shifts in his seat, trying not to be turned on by that right now.
Competency. Always delicious.
"I'm sorry, you sent our grandson home with some stranger?"
Eddie quickly remembers that he's supposed to be angry and shoots daggers Helena's way, "Stranger?" he scroffs, drawing her attention back to him. "Don't you mean our lady friend?"
Helena glares back. "Why do you keep this man around?"
"Why wouldn't I? He was the first person I felt like I could rely on here!"
"Because he's a bad influence Eddie! He doesn't need to be in Christopher's life, let own making decisions for him or sending him away. Don't you find it weird how fascinated he is with him? How they are with each other?"
"Why is it weird for my kid to rely on people I trust?" Eddie presses, waiting for her to get to the fucking point.
"Well, it's certainly weird for a homosexual man to be like that towards teenage boys," she snipes.
"The fuck did you just say?"
Helena looks back at Eddie in horror, same with his father.
"Okay, boys?" Pepa snaps, standing up from the table. Eddie, unable to find restraint, moves his glare from his mother to his aunt.
"Go home. Both of you," she demands.
Buck pushes his chair back without a word, keeping his face turned away from the rest of the table. Eddie swears under his breath at the fact that he can't stay and continue this.
He's never been good at stepping away from arguments.
Still, he finds it within himself to follow Buck out to the driveway.
"Are you sure you're fit to drive?" he hollers over the wind. Buck stares back at him, leveled and stern, and swings open the drivers seat to climb in.
"Ugh," Eddie groans, rolling his eyes.
It's only once they're both in the car when Eddie starts to see Buck lose his composure. He leans his elbow against the window ledge, rubbing his thumb over his eyebrow and birthmark.
"Buck—"
"I swear I didn't do anything," his voice breaks, his eyes welling up with tears as he holds back his breath.
"I know that, Buck," Eddie snaps, and winces. "Christopher wouldn't still look at you like you hung the fucking moon if you had. I just want to know if you're fit to drive home."
The words hit Buck all at once, but Eddie can't help but feel relieved when Buck dishes it back. Even if it's barely anything.
"You're saying that like you are," Buck mutters, reaching over for the gear shift.
Eddie crosses his seatbelt over his body. "We'll talk later," he whispers, loud enough to be heard over the now blasting air conditioning.
"Yeah," Buck nods, biting his lip as he fights off more tears.
Eddie looks out at the stretch of road in front of them.
It feels like a taunt.