Chapter Text
Regulus Black had been given a second chance at living. He’d been bitter about it at first, but he’d learned that if accepted the help he was given and responded when people reached out - he could get better.
☆☆☆
Sirius was the one to find him again and almost passed out - the image of your child half dead underwater tends to do that to a man; he called the ambulance after dragging him out of the bloody water.
He needed multiple stitches and was in a coma for three days; Sirius refused to leave his bedside. Regulus woke up to the sound of monitors beeping and a mask over his face, his whole body hurt and his eyes stung. The first thing he registered was Sirius holding one hand and Remus holding the other - for a moment he thought maybe it was Death keeping him company.
He groaned and tensed his hand, Sirius almost broke his neck to look at him - a quiet “Oh my god” left his mouth.
“I’ll go tell the nurse he’s awake” Remus squeezed his hand before standing up and leaving the ward.
Sirius’s eyes were red and his hair was frizzy, he looked like he hadn’t slept. He took a deep breath and stood from the plastic chair beside the bed; he stroked Regulus’s hair and took the mask away before hugging him.
“I was so scared bug, don’t ever do that again” Sirius kissed his head and he felt tears roll down his cheeks “I’m not mad at you, I was just scared”
Regulus sniffs then coughs, talking hurts but he has to say it “I’m sorry”
“I know baby, I know”
☆☆☆
Recovery was hard. He had to stay on 72 hour hold at the hospital, nurses by his side everyday; Remus and Sirius came to see him every visiting time, Effie and Monty came on the second day - they brought him ginger snaps. He wouldn’t let his friends come and see him; no matter how much Barty begged his brother.
Regulus’s was given a lot of medication to trial and a feeding tube due to his refusal to eat while in hospital - he understood how Pandora felt now. Barty had told Sirius about his hallucinations so he’d been put on an antipsychotic as well as antidepressants.
He hated everyone fussing over him.
It was hard to get used to the new medicine; it gave him headaches and made him feel sick, he was snappy with Sirius and Remus. Regulus hated what it was doing to him but he knew if he didn’t take it, they’d force him and he’d had no choice.
Remus said he was lucky that the NHS was in a bad way and he wasn’t getting sectioned like Pandora. A part of him wished he had been, then he wouldn’t have to deal with anything that’d happened. Regulus now had therapy twice a week to go along with his new medication - Tuesdays and Fridays - Sirius made him promise to talk about Lucius even if it was hard and it was really fucking hard.
The last thing he needed right now was another investigation and court case, he didn’t want to relive that again. Regulus knew what happened was wrong but he still felt as though it was his fault, maybe he really was just hard to love.
☆☆☆
Regulus came home after six days total in hospital with a bag of medication, bandaged wrists, a sore throat and more trauma to unpack. He wasn’t allowed to be left alone - Remus and Sirius took shifts, the knives and anything else sharp had been locked away and hidden and a stopper had been put at his bedroom door so he couldn’t close it fully - there was a three inch gap. Sirius had to watch him shower and stand outside the door while he used the bathroom since he couldn’t be alone.
He hated it. Not that his brother enjoyed it either. They fought a lot in the first month.
“I’m not a fucking baby Sirius! You don’t need to follow me everywhere like a shadow” Regulus had shouted one day “Fucking leave me alone! I have no privacy”
He heard Sirius huff behind him “Unfortunately you lost the right to privacy when you tried to kill yourself after we left you alone. I don’t particularly like watching you shower either Reg!”
“Fuck off!” He slammed his bedroom door; it bounced off the stopper.
He hated all of it. Everyone was treating him like he was broken. The attempt should’ve worked.
☆☆☆
Remus was in charge of meds - Antidepressant, antipsychotic and anti-anxiety on a morning then another antipsychotic and a sleeping pill on a nighttime - all taken with some special mineral water his brother had found. They’d been given a loose meal plan to follow, more as a guide than a strict routine; three meals, three snacks and two Fortisip milkshakes.
He shouted at Remus a lot too, accusing him of adding extra ingredients in meals to make them higher calorie or for giving him too much for snack. Sirius definitely got the brunt of his anger though.
“Do you want a fruit bowl today? We have oranges, grapes and strawberries, pineapple too maybe” Remus had suggested while they sat in the garden.
Regulus shrugged “Yeah whatever, no oranges though” they reminded him too much of his own skin, freaked him out.
Remus nodded and went inside to the kitchen. He chewed on his thumbnail, pulling at the dead skin; maybe the rot from inside was finally catching up to him, he eyed the white bandages still wrapped around his arms - Remus had been changing them for him - and wondered if the poison had leaked out. Disappointment washed over him when he realised it wasn’t enough to kill him.
☆☆☆
One thing about recovery he was grateful for was the newfound closeness to Pandora. Evan and Barty were a big help too of course but she understood it on another level; she’d been in hospital and had a lot of therapy, Barty understood the mental side of things but not how to help it or get better.
He felt guilty about it - getting better, while Barty stayed the same, they were supposed to be in it together. He was supposed to be dead.
Barty had sent a get well soon card from everyone as Regulus did for him just a few weeks prior, Evan and Pandora’s mum had even come over to give Sirius and Remus advice - Pandora came and lay in his bad with him.
“It’s hard but it’s worth it, they’re letting me go back to swimming soon” she had told him with a small smile.
He looked down at her hands - red and puffy with a constant tremor, there was little scars on her knuckles from shoving her fingers down her throat to throw up. There was a high chance she’d need the tube for the rest of her life due to her oesophagus being so damaged from stomach acid.
“I’m really sorry Panda, for telling you all that stuff in year nine” Regulus couldn’t hold it in anymore, it was his fault, she wouldn’t be like this if it weren’t for him.
She smiles sadly at him and takes his hand “It’s not your fault lovely. I told you things as well - we’re both as guilty as the other” she rubbed his knuckles “I don’t blame you, we were just stupid kids. Still are really” Pandora closes her eyes “What’s meant to be is meant to be. I would’ve ended up like this no matter what you said, and I believe the same is true for you. We didn’t deserve any of the bad things that happened but they allowed us to change and grow - to heal”
Regulus just nodded, squeezing her hand.
☆☆☆
He finally let Barty see him after four weeks. They sat in the garden, not talking, Regulus picked at his nails and Barty kept looking at him.
“Can you just say whatever it is you’re clearly thinking, you’re making me feel uneasy the way you keep looking at me” he snapped turning to face his boyfriend.
Barty looked over property and bit his bottom lip “I’m mad at you for doing that. You said you wouldn’t leave me and you did, you tried to at least. Obviously I’m happy it didn’t work but why didn’t you just come to me? Do you know how scary it was to receive that text?”
He was crying and Regulus hated it. He hated how it made his eyes turn a sickly green colour instead of their usually brown. All he could do was shrug.
“You’re not even going to say anything? I know you don’t like confrontation but” the words seemingly died in his throat and he slumped back on the bench.
“Please don’t walk away, I can’t do this without you” he reached blindly for Barty’s hand “I’m really sorry but I couldn’t cope with it, not after seeing him - every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his face and feel his hands all over me”
Barty pulled him into his chest and hugged him tight, kissing his head “I’m sorry for shouting at you. Im not going anywhere; in it together remember?” He nods, cuddling closer.
“Do you want to stay over tonight? Remus is making chicken pasta, I have a meal plan now and he takes it very seriously” he lets out a small laugh.
“I’m glad you’re getting the help you need - even though I know you hate it” Barty kissed his head again “And yes I do want to stay over, Remus’s cooking is the best”
Things were slowly returning to normal; the new normal. Getting better. Barty and Pandora were going to make it as easy as possible for him to recover.
☆☆☆
He didn’t do his GCSE’s or go to prom or get a leavers hoodie; he did send an email to Miss Pomfrey and Mrs McGonagall to say thank you for the help though.
Instead of prom or attending any of the leavers sessions on a random felid to get drunk - him, Barty, Pandora and Evan went to their spot with a bottle of lemonade and meal deals from M&S; Sirius gave them all £20 for it too. Pandora faced Evan the whole time they ate, he wondered if that would be him one day - secure in his recovery.
Evan raised a cup of lemonade, everyone followed suit “We’re rid of everyone we hate”
Regulus rolled his eyes “We hated everyone Evan”
“Because they were all awful” Pandora smiled “Cheers!” She clinked her cup against each persons before setting it down on the dirt.
Barty leaned against Regulus’s shoulder “I’m glad none of us died this year. I’d quite like to keep you all in my life”
Evan raised his eyebrow “Have you gone soft on us Crouch?” His sister laughed beside him.
He through up his arms in defence “Christ sorry I care about my friends after we all ended up in hospital this year”
Regulus just sat silently, watching his friends laugh and enjoy each other’s company.
☆☆☆
Regulus Black was supposed to die at sixteen. Instead he was saved by his brother, Sirius had spent his whole life protecting and saving his baby brother no matter how much Regulus tried to fight it.
The parasites died and took all of the bad away, he was a new person. Fresh and clean. No longer infected by memories and bad blood. Scars of trauma were carved deep within his being but everyday they lessened - they healed over.
Regulus Black had been given a second chance at life, he was no longer poison.
He was finally clean.