Chapter Text
Ymir was about two seconds away from passing out. Or dying. Who knows?
She covered half of her face with both hands, leaving only enough room for her eyes and forehead to exist, and let out a muffled squeal as she stared at Historia's Instagram stories on her laptop screen (because yes, Ymir only used Instagram on her laptop). There were two stories. In the first one, the blonde was lip-syncing to a popular song, looking absolutely gorgeous; Ymir wanted to marry her. The second was just a mirror selfie. Beautiful. Stunning.
She knew she was supposed to be studying for midterms, but she couldn't stop looking at the pictures. Her heart was about to leap right out of her chest, or maybe it would simply explode from how fast it was beating. Either way, screw it. If the last thing she ever saw was Historia's face, she wouldn't even mind.
Sitting in class a few minutes before her Algebra midterm, she figured maybe—just maybe—she should've cared a little more about studying. But well, she'd spent an impressive five whole minutes reviewing before walking into the classroom... that had to count for something, right?
Before she even looked at the exam, she started doing mental math to figure out what her final grade would be if she scored ten out of twenty. Hmm. That wouldn't be so bad. A B was still a perfectly respectable grade, even if Ymir was usually a straight-A student (yes, believe it or not, Ymir was actually a pretty decent student. Shocking, isn't it?).
"Oh God, I'm going to fail." She heard the voice before she saw its owner. Soft. Sweet. Ymir looked up to find Historia standing beside her. "I don't even know which midterm is going to destroy me more," Historia said with a smile. "This one or tomorrow's Physics exam."
Without thinking, she reached for Ymir's hand and intertwined their fingers.
"Don't say you're going to fail before the test even starts," Ymir replied with a grin, giving Historia's hand a gentle squeeze as she glanced down at their intertwined fingers. Historia smiled back. "As for Physics..." She sighed. "Shit, I haven't studied at all."
"Me neither!" Historia laughed. "I mean, the professor explains things really well, but I haven't really understood the last few lec—"
"Take your seats. The exam is about to begin." The professor's voice cut her off, and Historia reluctantly let go of Ymir's hand.
"Well, I'd better go. Good luck, Ymir." She waved before heading back to her seat, a few rows away.
"Good luck," Ymir replied.
Historia smiled at her one last time.
She was so cute.
Ymir accepted the stack of papers that made up the exam with a smile. A smile that vanished the instant she read the first question.
...Okay.
If she got five out of twenty...
Well. A C was still passing.
Passing is passing.
•••
Early the next morning, while Ymir was in the middle of an intense Physics study session, she got a text.
She nearly passed out when she saw who it was from.
Historia Reiss
Hey, Ymir
Could you send me the notes from the last Physics class, please?
I missed it, and none of my friends wrote anything down lol
10:38 a.m.
See? This was exactly why Historia should start hanging out with Ymir instead. She'd always send her the notes whenever she missed class. She'd be a real friend! Unfortunately, Historia was surrounded by nothing but fake friends. (That's what Ymir liked to tell herself, anyway. In reality, Historia's friends were actually pretty cool, they were just incredibly lazy sometimes.)
Ymir
Sure.
[3 attached photos]
10:39 a.m.
Historia Reiss
Ahh, that was so fast!!!
You're the best, Ymir
Thank you so much.
10:39 a.m.
Ymir could literally die in peace.
She didn't know why, but there was something so ridiculously satisfying about the way Historia said—or in this case, typed—her name. She loved that every conversation was always "Ymir this" and "Ymir that." Maybe she was just hopelessly down bad (actually, there was no "maybe" about it), but hearing Historia say her name made her feel... seen. Like she mattered. Like life was beautiful and everything was suddenly painted in shades of pink.
Please say my name more, she thought, absentmindedly biting her thumb while staring at Historia's profile picture.
God. She was so cute.
•••
Before the Physics exam, came the class that had somehow become Ymir's favorite despite having the absolute worst schedule imaginable. Seriously, whose brilliant idea was it to hold a Physics lab from four to seven on a Friday evening? Only a demon, also known as: whoever was in charge of scheduling for the university's Engineering Department.
That day, Ymir put together her best outfit. She even wore makeup, which she almost never did because it always took forever. But that morning she'd convinced herself: I have to look pretty for Historia... and maybe it'll bring me some good luck on the exam.
Turns out grandmas really do know what they're talking about: never dress up for someone else, do it for yourself.
Because first: Historia arrived late to the lab, and the only empty seat left was on the complete opposite side of the room from Ymir. And second: they didn't exchange a single word for the entire three-hour lab.
After class, Ymir grabbed dinner, secretly hoping she'd run into Historia in the cafeteria. (Spoiler alert: she didn't.) Then, when it was finally time for the exam, she still hadn't seen her anywhere. A few minutes before the test began, Historia finally walked into the classroom, a soda in hand as usual. Her seat was, once again, miles away from Ymir's.
And right then, the definitely-not-a-genius Miss Fritz reached a devastating conclusion: The "we're drifting apart even though we were never actually together and I have absolutely no idea whether you like me, whether I matter to you, or whether I'm just some random girl whose hand you held because you felt like it" arc had officially begun.
Not being able to interact with Historia at all, combined with the Physics exam absolutely beating the life out of her, was exactly why Ymir ended up crying on her walk home beneath the night sky.
She hated this stupid university. She hated being so desperate for crumbs of affection that she'd fallen for the first girl who was simply nice to her. God, how she wished she lived in a world where grades didn't matter and she had to fight Titans instead. Or better yet, be a Titan herself, sacrifice herself heroically, leaving behind one heartbreaking letter for the woman she loved. Honestly? That alternate universe sounded infinitely better than the dumpster fire her life currently was.
By now, she was convinced this would be her worst semester yet. The impossible classes. The stupid crush. The embarrassingly mediocre grades... fuck.
"I should've gone to law school," she muttered, staring at herself in the mirror and grimacing at the sight of her mascara smeared all over her face. "Everything fucking sucks."
Midterm week had definitely not been her finest.
And she hadn't gotten so much as a tiny moment with the person who had somehow become her biggest source of happiness lately.
Oh, Historia, please pay attention to that poor gay idiot before she dies of loneliness.
(Then again, Ymir... what were you expecting, developing a crush on someone like Historia? Your own parents don't pay attention to you, and you thought she would? Honestly... what are we going to do with you, kid?)