Chapter Text
Troy loved being back home, the familiar roads, the familiar car, the unfamiliar kid sitting next to him. CJ seemed to get more and more quiet the closer they got to home. He was content to just sit there in total silence looking out the window as the houses got further and further apart. As they got closer to home Troy could feel himself relax, but he could tell CJ was anything but, his leg was incessantly bouncing as he continued to look out the window. “How are you feeling?”Troy decided to ask.
“What are you my fucking therapist now?” He snapped.
Troy keeps his eyes on the road, they’re so close to home, he’s so sure Harris will be infinitely better at this than him, “Hey, I’m just wondering what’s going on in your head, I know this is all overwhelming and terrifying, but-“.
CJ cuts him off before he can finish speaking, “Why do you act like you fucking know anything about me? I’m not a fucking pussy and I would’ve thought you weren’t either”.
“CJ that’s uncalled for”, Troy said hardly. ‘We don’t talk like that. That language is unnecessarily cruel”.
“God forbid someone hurt your poor little feelings”, CJ muttered under his breath.
Troy sighed, that was all Curtis right there. A massive weight he didn’t realize he was carrying, left his chest as they parked in the garage. Thank fuck they’re home. “CJ we need to make this work, I want you here, Harris wants you here, and you’ll always be welcome in our home, but-”
“But what?” CJ snapped from the passenger seat.
“Just try to be nice to my husband, I know this is all a bunch of changes in your life, and this all probably sucks”, Troy barely knew what to say and he was definitely fucking up this conversation.
CJ thankfully cut Troy off, “Got it I won’t be a dick. Can we go inside now?” Troy quickly got both of their bags out of the car and opened the door letting CJ into their home.
❣
CJ did not know what he expected Troy’s house to look like, but he supposed the complete opposite of his house should have been expected. It was a cozy single story from what CJ could see. The space was warm with mismatched but still coordinated furniture. He could see a massive gray faced dog napping on the couch. In the kitchen he could see a bearded blond guy, when the guy, Harris probably saw CJ and Troy his face lit up. “Oh hi!” damn his voice was loud as shit. “I’m Harris, it's so so nice to meet you”. He came into the living room; he gave Troy this massive hug. The big ass dog’s tail was loudly thumping on the couch as he lifted up his head. Harris then turned his attention to CJ, “It’s so nice to meet you CJ, I’m Harris, can I hug you?”
Okay, Harris is apparently weird as shit, what the fuck? Why the hell would a guy ask permission to hug someone? Apparently, Harris could see CJ’s apprehension on his face, because he backed off pretty quickly. “It’s fine if not”, and now CJ is making this all so weird. He stays silent not really knowing how to react.
“Hare, I’ve missed you”, Troy smiles softly at Harris, it’s the same smile that he kept on giving his phone when they were apart. CJ left the two of them to enjoy this sweet reunion, he walks further into the living room, the dog on the couch’s tail thumps quickly as he gets closer. CJ looks around, there’s framed photos all around the living room, he sees photos of Troy and Harris with other people in various situations. Unlike back home none of the photos look staged, they all look high quality but genuine. Everything in the house speaks to a happy and fulfilling life that doesn’t need CJ in it. Something about this leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, just seeing how perfect their lives are hurts.
“Hey CJ don’t leave Chiron hanging," the old dog Chiron apparently has twisted around to stare at CJ with big brown eyes. CJ carefully approaches the dog, whose tail starts wagging even more quickly. CJ carefully approaches the dog, he’s never really been around dogs before, and he doesn’t know how to interact with one. CJ slowly reaches out his hand and carefully places it on Chiron’s large head.
“Troy told me that you guys have a lot of dogs”, CJ says carefully petting Chiron.
“Oh yeah, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all the creatures,” Harris said, “They’re outside, but we can’t move this goober. The old man just does whatever he wants”.
CJ looked at the graying face of the big dog, “He seems nice enough”.
“Yeah he’s a good dog for being the reason that we needed to babyproof all of our cabinets,” Harris claps his hands, “Well CJ let’s show you your room and give you the grand tour”.
CJ half shrugged, still focused on Chiron. Harris waved CJ over to join them, Troy was still holding Harris’s hand. It felt a bit weird and unnecessary, it made Troy look clingy. CJ silently followed after them. “Well you’re in the living room and kitchen, my office and the dogs’ rooms are down that hall”. Harris points down one of the halls, CJ can see more photos and shelves of nicknacks lining the walls. This house is so weird.
“The dog's rooms?” CJ muttered to himself, “what the hell”.
Troy clearly heard him mutter, “It’s actually beneficial for dogs to have their own space, and all of our fosters are kennel trained so we keep that up for all of our dogs”, he explained.
“Except for Chiron, he got way too used to sleeping in bed with us from the apartment days. That little monster has so many bad habits”, Harris adds fondly, leaning into Troy like they have their own gravitational pull. CJ feels so uncomfortable seeing the two men be so affectionate with each other, if he had seen something like this on accident back home it would have triggered such a rant from Dad. Fuck did dad even know that CJ was here? CJ hadn't had access to his phone since before the hospital, hadn’t had access to any screens besides Troy’s from when he let him pick out music; on account of the, well on account of the concussion. So he hadn’t been able to contact anyone. CJ wasn’t sure how he felt about his dad not knowing where he was, this place with his big brother and his husband and their horde of pets felt so far removed from his dad and mom and everything in Vancouver, and CJ knew if his dad was here he would just fuck everything up. Like it seemed like CJ was doing again, he was sure his face was doing something weird, with the way Troy and Harris were looking at him.
“In the back yard there’s a shed I use as my gym, once your arm;s better you're free to use it as well”, Troy said trying to break the almost painfully awkward silence that had built up. CJ didn’t really want to verbally respond so instead he just hummed. A wet nose bumps his hand, he looks down and sees the gray muzzled face of Chiron, who demands pets from CJ’s non broken hand. CJ scratches the sweet old dog’s big head.
“He certainly likes you,” Harris said loudly, he seemed to say everything loudly.
“There’s no accounting for taste I guess”, CJ tried to joke.
“I wouldn’t say that, Chiron is an excellent judge of character.” Harris gives Troy another affectionate look as he says that. Whenever they would look at each other like that it made CJ feel like an outsider. He didn’t know the two of them and every affectionate side glance and look that implied longer and longer stories turned something bitter in his stomach. “Now CJ let’s show you your room. I’m sure you need to crash”, Harris said with another one of his friendly smiles aimed at CJ. CJ followed the couple through a different hallway to the one that had Harris’s office. “Now our room is down this hallway too. If you ever need us, just please knock first”.
“Yeah sure,” CJ muttered, Harris opened a door into a nice but generic looking room, it had a large bed that had thick and fluffy blankets piled on it, and a natural wooden nightstand. CJ looked back at the couple, Troy was still holding his bag. As CJ looked around the room he said, “Thanks guys, I think I’m going to go ahead and just crash”, he awkwardly rocks back on his heels as Troy and Harris were still in the doorway of the room.
“Oh yes we’ll leave you to it, it’s been a long day I’m sure,” Harris said as Troy dropped down CJ’s bag and guided him out of the room. “Just call us if you need anything”.
❣
Troy was laying on the couch, his head in Harris’s lap while he played with his hair. Fuck Troy missed this, it may have only been a couple of days but being away from Harris always made him feel horrible. Well he was used to it, playing in the NHL meant long stretches of roadies that Harris couldn’t follow him on, but Troy always preferred being with Harris. And the past couple of days were a masterclass in why Troy preferred having Harris around. Without Harris Troy couldn’t communicate for shit, he was horrible at reading what people needed. Especially where CJ was concerned. Troy was okay with his old teammates' kids, Shane and Ilya’s two daughters loved him, but they were little girls who had been around Troy since they were born. CJ hadn’t, Troy hadn’t even known that CJ existed until two days ago, CJ was a teenager who clearly already had preconceived notions of life.
Troy remembered being thirteen, he didn’t like to think about his early years of hockey. When he was a kid all he remembers about hockey was that time he broke his leg and all the times his dad got kicked out of games for yelling. But he remembers thirteen it was when hockey started getting serious, Troy was good and had been playing up for years. But thirteen was when it became clear that he wasn’t just another good kid on a triple A team, but that he could go so much farther. It was when his mom stopped taking him to practices and when his dad became so much more involved.
“Hey handsome what’s going on in that head right now?” Harris asked warmly, his fingers in Troy’s hair. The dogs were all outside, getting their energy out.
“I’m just thinking”, Troy managed to get out.
“About what?” Harris asked affectionately. He leaned over and put a finger on Troy’s chin, “Oh I’m just thinking about how I’m married to the sexiest and most handsome man in the world”. Harris says doing an impression of Troy’s voice while using his finger to move Troy's mouth.
Troy smiles and laughs. He pulls himself up and kisses Harris softly. “I’m just thinking about what everything was like when I was thirteen”, Troy says as Harris starts playing with his hair again.
“Oh? You don’t really like talking about your childhood with me” Harris says softly.
Troy sighs, “It was shit, that was around the time hockey started getting really serious for me and my dad really started to insert himself. The team I was on at the time hated me, it was before I had figured out that keeping my head down and being a massive douche would make my life easier”. Troy would forever regret making that choice. But he was always working to atone for that. He gave a self deprecating laugh, “It was the start of Toronto Troy and we both know how he was. I was such a coward and a piece of shit.”
“But you’re not that guy anymore Bud,’ Harrs responds gently.
“Yeah but what if I still am deep down?” Troy hates how whiney he sounds, a voice in his head that sounds painfully like Curtis tells him to stop being a pussy,
“Troy, buddy, sweetheart, apple of my eye I fear that your Curtis thoughts are getting the better of you. Remember when you got the C after Shane and Ilya retired?” Troy knew exactly what Harris was talking about and hummed in agreement. Bood had already retired and Troy had been given an A to share with Shane when that had happened. When Ilya and Shane had retired Troy was convinced that Luca was going to get the C. But instead they had given that C to Troy, which had led to a massive spiral about how he felt unworthy of that position, about how he would inevitably backslide once he was in charge of a locker room and the culture. “Well, do you think we’re having that crisis again?”
“Explain.”
“Well honey, I think that sudden changes in your life tend to make you spiral, but I think that this is something you need to bring up with your therapist”, Harris says kindly.
“You’re right,” Troy agrees before gently maneuvering Harris so that he’s laying right on top of Troy, “But first naptime”. Troy relaxes as Harris giggles and settles on top of him. Troy runs a hand back and fourth Harris’s back as he lets himself drift off into a peaceful nap.