Chapter Text
Ilya yawned as he scrolled his Instagram notifications and considered looking up Montreal’s game. It would probably be done by now, and Hollander would roll into his hotel soon-ish too. Decent timing to see how it had gone before he messaged Hollander about how sad his center was.
Across from him in the other bed, Marly was also flopped into his bed like someone had just dropped him there. He hadn’t hardly twitched except for his thumbs since landing there.
Then suddenly…
“Roz!”
Ilya had never heard that tone from Marly before. Nor had he seen him scramble upright so fast for anything but booty call or late wake-up.
“You have to look at this!” Marly sounded like he was having either a religious experience or the heartbreak of a lifetime. He shoved his phone in Ilya’s direction with wide eyes.
Ilya leaned in to look at the phone screen in Marly’s giant hand- it was video from Montreal’s game against Dallas. It wasn’t a headliner game like Boston’s had been against Pittsburgh earlier. Nobody expected a lot from either team. Montreal and Dallas were two inconsistent teams on a good day, and could count exactly one decent player between them: Shane Hollander, Mister .917 save percentage, goalie-fucking-extraordinaire.
…who seemed to be the focus of the video. He was in his crease, eyes certainly on the puck wherever it was.
Oh, there. It popped out to the net, Hollander got it on his stick and- smacked it down the ice.
Of course he did. One goal already in his career a few months ago, so of course he would try for another one. The ice was too clear and the opportunity was too sweet, so of course he made it in. Somebody had to make the highlight reel for the Voyageurs sometimes.
But then, another clip started. It appeared to have been the second period. The shitty Dallas goalie was too far from his net, looking for the puck in a struggle on the boards.
Again, the puck popped out, Hollander got it, his form somehow looked unsuspiscious as could be… this time Ilya could fairly see the gears turn behind that massive helmet. Then Shane moved. He shoveled it down the ice so fast, with some impressive airtime.
Holy shit! It went in behind the goalie’s back!
…of course Shane just stood there like everything was normal. Instead of celebrating like a normal human would do.
So boring. But two goals was- another clip? Surely not…
Overtime. Of course. Because Dallas and Montreal sucked. God, so much terrible hockey, except it looked like Montreal’s defensemen had remembered to actually hang around the net a little. Finally.
Didn’t stop everyone from bunching up in a battle along the boards for the puck, but again… it was Dallas and Montreal.
Somehow, the puck popped out toward the goal. How did-? No one followed it? But Hollander had already lined up and shot the puck back off down the ice. Dallas had pulled their goalie. Definitely a mistake with Hollander on a roll.
One Montreal player saw it and raced to be there when it came down, but Ilya could see he would be too slow. The puck hit the ice, bounced crooked, smacked the post and went… in.
It went in.
Hollander made a fucking… Hollander got a hat trick.
Mother fucking Shane “The Wall” Hollander, Mister Brick Wall, Mister Shutout, Master of Goalie Hexes… Hollander got not one, not two, but three goalie goals! In one game!
Against Dallas, sure. But a fucking hat trick? And… wait. Final score- the game went 3-2 for Montreal.
The fucking goalie was the only one who scared for Montreal the whole game. 47 shots on goal for Montreal, and the fucking goalie was the only one who made it in.
“-don’t wanna’ go against that in three weeks, for-fuckin-sure! I didn’t even know that was an option!” Marly was saying when Ilya’s ears cracked back into English.
Ilya closed his mouth with a snap, licked his lips, and desperately tried to collect himself to answer.
Holy shit. What the fuck? More importantly, how the fuck? Forwards struggled to get hat tricks! Now the goalie got a hat trick? The goalie who denied everybody hat tricks got a hat trick? How fucking unfair!
What he actually ended up saying was, “That was against Dallas. They are both shitty teams. Will not happen when we play them. We are best team.”
“You think they’ll move Hollzy to the line, since he’s their goal-scorer now?”
“Not if they’re smart. Backup goalie is shit compared. He will let everything in and we will win more. Three goals is not enough to beat us. You know this.”
“Yeah, except when it’s Hollander in the net. Geez. They’re like, I don’t know, a worse Toronto, but with a better goalie. Toronto at least has some talent, their lines work better, but they keep their good goalie as the fuckin’ backup so they lose a lot. Montreal has shittier lines, but they have Shutout Shane Hollander in the net whenever they get their heads outta’ their asses and keep him there. Except now he’s doing numbers on the scoreboard. Like, how does that even work, man?”
“Marly. You take stick, hit puck towards net. You have done this before. Did you forget? You have too many concussions?”
“Shut up! You know what I mean! Like, he made one goal a month ago, and now he’s just, doing goals? That’s so hard to do! You’ve tried making an end-to-end shot before, and it’s super fucking hard. And he did it three times in a single game! It’s hard for us to get three in a game right up on the net!”
“Maybe for you.”
“You too, dumbass! Your last hatty was in LA, and that was in November.”
“And still twelve more than you have.”
“Fuck you, Rozy!” Marly grinned. And then his face fell.
“Roz, can you imagine if Hollzy was a forward? Fuuuck, that even just sounds like a nightmare…”
“Hollander is a goalie,” Ilya said as he shoved at Marly’s shoulder. “Best goalie in league right now. Montreal will not take him out of net if they are smart, and if they do, someone else will take him for their net. Hollander will not be forward, do not worry your scramble brain about it. And even if he was forward or center, I am still best.”
“Whatever man!” Marly laughed and went to flop back into his bed, and very obviously restarted the video.
Ilya sucked in a deep breath and went straight to the search bar to find the video for himself.
If it got saved to his files… well, history deserved recording, right?