Chapter Text
Tsukasa was beaming when he woke up. He was always a morning person! The rays of sunlight shine through his window as the early morning sun rises. It was still slightly dark out, but that's how Tsukasa liked it. He threw the blanket off himself and got ready for the day. Today he was going to rehearsal with his friends!
“Bye Saki!!” he shouted from the front door, he had always been earlier than Saki.
“Bye Oni-chan!!” She responded.
Tsukasa made his way to the school, glancing up at the front stood Rui and Nene.
“Rui-kun!! Nene!!”
“Ah. Tsukasa-kun! Are you ready for practice after school today?” Rui asked casually, in his usual tone.
“Yea! But.. do we have all the supplies for the props yet?” He asked, "I just wish they'd come a bit faster.”
“Jeez Tsukasa-kun, all you do is complain.” Nene teased.
“Yea it's embarrassing to call you the troupe leader. Heh.” Rui playfully remarked,
“Oh whatever!!” Tsukasa teased back,
The three made their way through the school doors and started the school day.
—--------------
It was finally over!! School was out and Tsukasa met up with the others to go practice for their show.
“Emu!!” Tsukasa excitedly yelped when he saw her,
“AHHHH TSUKASA COME HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOUUUUU SCHOOL WAS ALL ERLY WIRLY AND I WAS ALL LIKE UHHHH WUHH?!?!??”
“Bro me too, school was ass.”
The troupe started practicing, Tsukasa stepped across the stage. The four were currently practicing a dance for one of their songs-
“OWUCH!!”
Tsukasa fell to the ground, he had tripped over his own foot while dancing, messing up the whole performance. Good thing it was only practice.
“OHHH MY GOOOOOOOD ARE YOU OKAY TSUKASA?!?!?! YOU FEET WENT ALL TWISTY TOODLE AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!!”
“Ah.. Tsukasa-kun… are you okay..?” Nene asked,
Ow. That hurt, to be honest he kinda wanted to sit down but… he couldn't let down his troupe! He's got this!!
“Nah i'm good!”
The show was in two days. He couldn't afford to mess up now! He has to keep going with no breaks to do his best.
—----------------------------------------------------------
Today was the show's opening!
Tsukasa watched through the silk curtain as piles of kids and happy families gathered in front of the stage. He couldn't wait to see them all smile, it was what made him happy after all. It's why he became an actor in the first place- or… he will be one. After all it's only the Wonder Stage, but regardless, he had his troupe here with him and he was ready to put on a good show!
“Are you ready?” Rui snuck up behind him, startling Tsukasa,
“I- Yea!”
“Goodluck. Tsukasa-kun!”
Goodluck. He didn't need it, especially with his troupe… and a future star like him of course!
The stage went dark. Rui’s voice boomed from the corner, describing the scenery. This was Nene’s cue. She appeared from the side, reciting her lines with a perfect tone. It was almost time for her solo. He had always admired Nene’s singing. He could never be as good as her! I mean, who could best the troupe’s diva of course!
And Rui. Oh there was so much he admired, his ability to stay calm, his creativity, his direction skills, his building skills. Honestly, everyone in the troupe was so talented. They had better chances at being stars than Tsukasa. But- he couldn't think like that! It was almost time for Tsukasa to go up so he pushed down those negative thoughts and made his way out.
—-----------------------------------------------------------
The show was going great! I mean, extremely great even!! No mistakes were made, the performances were perfect. The audience loved it. Tsukasa loved it. Everything was going according to plan!
This was perfect!
It was almost time for them to do another dance with a song. These were Tsukasa favorites! He always practiced for these anyways. Tsukasa wasn't worried about messing up at all!
The four got into position, and the song started. The dance was going accordingly, everyone knew their place! Tsukasa appreciated his troupe so much, they made his days better when he was down. They were some of his best friends!
Then Tsukasa felt a thud.
It was the floor.
He fell. Tsukasa fell during the performance. It took him a second to fathom what had just happened, when he felt a hand on his arm. It was Nene, trying to get him up as fast as possible so the show could continue with the least amount of mistakes. The show must go on I guess.
Tsukasa regained himself, and got up. He couldn't help but notice the faces of his fellow troupe members, were they disappointed? If so, they were trying to hide it for the show. The audience looked disappointed, or worried? Or maybe upset, that they've spent their money on a show where the actor doesn't even know his steps. Maybe they were upset that he failed his performance. He failed. He'd never become a star at this rate.
I knew it. I'm not good enough.
—----------------------------------------------------------
The show had ended. Usually Tsukasa would stay on the stage for an extra five minutes, bowing and yelling at little kids asking how they like the show. Just being annoying and fun and stuff.
Not this time, he walked off as soon as they did their bows. Tsukasa made his way to the changing rooms, the room where he did his makeup and costume changes.
He looked in the mirror. He was a mess. Of course a FAILURE like him messed up. Well, guess that's why it was “embarrassing to be the troupe leader”
He wasn't even a good leader anyways. Nene was right, he was always complaining.
He still felt eyes on him. When he fell it was so embarrassing. So embarrassing. Embarrassing to be the leader of this troupe. He doesn't even know his steps. He should just give up at this point. He made so many mistakes during practice, and now he's made one during a real show?! Failure.
Failure.
He felt his chest getting heavier. His breath started quickening.
Embarrassing FAILURE.
Tsukasa could feel tears well up in his eyes, beckoning to fall, he couldn't cry. Not here. He's already made enough mistakes. He can't make another.
You'll never be a star FAILURE. Your friends are better than you.
He couldn't help it. He could feel himself shake as he looked back at the embarrassing version of himself in the mirror. What is this? Why am I like this?! Why can't I just be perfect?! Why can't I just be good like the others?!? Everyone else is so good at what they do. I don't even have a reason to be sad! I have good friends, amazing parents, and a job I enjoy! What's wrong with me?! I HATE MYSELF.
“What's…” His voice broke through his quiet sobs. “Wrong with me..?”