Chapter Text
Christmas break is over. Alexis finds himself in school again, drawing on his scrap paper. The students around Alexis were loud, unfocused, and unbothered. They were busy chattering to their friends instead of doing work. Alexis didn’t really have many friends at school. It was the first period, and the late bell finally rang. The literature teacher came in on time, gesturing for the kids to quiet down. The teacher was Mr. Hanford, he was strict on turning assignments in on time. He says, “Time management is an important life skill you all must learn to be successful adults in the future!”
Alexis only nodded, acknowledging Mr. Hanford’s statement while the others only rolled their eyes, or were sleeping. Mr. Hanford goes on talking, picking up on the last lesson as a refresher for the class. Alexis only sighed, tapping his foot on the ground while leaning on his elbow that was placed on his desk. Alexis took out his planner from the desk, and opened it to today’s date. He whipped out a pencil and quickly jotted down today’s homework— he drew in the space instead. Instead of writing the homework down in his planner as a reminder that Alexis has work to do, he chose to draw instead. Throughout literature class, Alexis was drawing the whole time.
The bell rang, signifying that the first period is over. Alexis quickly shut his planner close, and shoved it into his backpack. He puts away his other materials too, like his pencil bag and his folders.
Alexis only had ten minutes to get to the next class. He got up from his seats and bid farewell to Mr. Hanford who smiled and waved. The hallway’s loud and lively, with plenty of students coming from all kinds of directions. Some walked in groups, in pairs, or, alone like Alexis. Though, sometimes Alexis walks to class with the kids he played football with during recess. Alexis liked playing with them.
Alexis scanned the hallways, looking for his football buddies. It seems like to Alexis that they’ve already gone to their classes, so Alexis needed to hustle. Turning right from his previous class, Alexis walks straight, and notices the hall being blocked by people who were talking. Not to mention, they were walking slow as hell too! Frustrated, Alexis walks in between them, muttering “excuse me!” Or, “Pardon me!”
Apparently, Alexis wasn’t loud enough. The crowd was pact, not letting Alexis through. “By the speed they’re walking, I’m going to be late!” Alexis sighed and bit his lips. This time, Alexis raises his voice a bit louder than before. The crowd broke apart, finally letting Alexis through. Some smiled at Alexis and whispered sheepish sorrys while others glared at him for interrupting their conversation. Alexis couldn’t care either way, so he hurried down the hall and made it before the second bell could ring.
Alexis sat down in his designated seat to catch his breath. He zipped open his blue backpack to retrieve the needed materials for this subject, science.
Alexis hated science.
He sighed heavily, attracting some attention from his classmates who looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Alexis noticed and turned to them to smile shyly and wave. Some of them smiled back and waved, while the rest just resumed back to whatever they were doing. The second bell rang, it was time for the second period to start.
The teacher was absent today, meaning that there would be no homework from science class. Alexis was relieved, and jotted that down into his planner. Realizing he had forgotten to write down first period’s homework, Alexis panicked.
Alexis wasn't close to anyone in science class. He wasn’t sure if he should ask for the homework, or if he should just sit there and stare absently at his planner. The substitute hadn’t come in yet, so Alexis wouldn’t be disturbing the class. He brought his hands up to his face, and his lips parted slightly. Alexis slipped his finger nails into his mouth, and started biting his nails off unconsciously— Alexis was in a public space. People would look at him weird now— if they haven’t already.
After all, Mama said that it was disgusting and unsanitary.
Alexis immediately stopped his nail biting session and looked around the room to see if anyone noticed him.
Not a single stare in sight.
Alexis sighed, and faced forward.
Minutes had gone by, and the substitute hadn’t barged in yet. Some of the kids had already left the classroom to skip the period. Some of them, like Alexis, stayed. He turned around, expecting the seat behind him to be empty.
A pair of doe brown eyes with glasses met Alexis’s large magenta ones.
Caught off guard, Alexis jumped in his seat, causing the girl to giggle.
“What’s your name?”
Alexis blinked at the question, putting his hand behind his neck while the other rested on the back of his seat.
“Alexis.”
The girl smiled and repeated his name.
Alexis nodded in acknowledgement, before turning back around. He felt tapping on his shoulder. Alexis turns around to see the girl standing up now. She held out her right hand, trying to initiate conversation.
“Nice to meet you Alexis, my name’s Angel.”
Alexis paused and stared at her hands, then looked back up at her. He held out his right hand, and shook Angel’s.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Angel.”
Angel lets go of Alexis’s hand and comes closer to his desk, peering at his planner. Alexis shifts away from the planner to give her space to look.
“Nice drawings, I draw too!”
Angel pointed to the space where the literature homework was originally supposed to be written. Alexis thanked her, and asked if she had literature class yet. Angel nodded, and quickly retreated back to her desk to bring her backpack from underneath her seat. Alexis watched Angel as she pulled out her own planner to display for him. Angel’s planner was a nice magenta color, the same color as Alexis’s hair. He notices it and points it out to her. Angel’s eyes shifted from the cover of her planner, to Alexis’s hair. She nodded in agreement and laughed.
Alexis laughed too.
She comes closer to Alexis’s desk and plants the planner on his desk. Alexis peered curiously to see what she wanted to show him.
“I noticed that you didn’t have the homework down yet, so I wanted to take my planner out to show you.”
Alexis watches her smile softly, while hiding her hands behind her back. She leaned forward, and took her right arm out to point where she had written the homework. Her bangs fell forward, and her layers of hair followed suit. Her nails were done, it was nice and long compared to Alexis’s nails. They were short and ugly.
Alexis’s eyes shift to the space Angel pointed to. Her handwriting looked like it was written in cursive, while some of the letters were written neatly. Alexis raised an eyebrow at her.
“Does that say write a poem?”
Angel blushes and looks away. Only to turn her head back at Alexis, facing him. Her right arm retreated to her back as her left arm raised and was placed on her head. She looks like she’s imitating an anime character.
“Yeah sorry, I don’t write neatly in my planner. I don’t really expect people to read my writing that’s why…”
Her left arm fell to her side and her other arm raised to play with her half teal, half black bangs. She seemed embarrassed to Alexis, so he nodded along and laughed it off.
“Thanks for sharing the homework with me” Alexis says while copying it down into his own planner. Angel nodded and watched him do so. After Alexis was finished, he handed back her planner. Angel thanked him for giving her planner back, and returned to her seat.
“Why’d you dye your bangs like that?”
The question Alexis blurted wasn’t meant to be judgemental. Alexis was just curious about her hair dye choice. Angel squinted her eyes at Alexis, trying to figure out if he was genuinely curious about it, then her eyes returned back to her normal size.
“I dyed my hair like this to look like a character I liked. I dyed it on the wrong side though…” Angel shrugged. “I just messed up my left and right.”
“That’s okay.” Alexis reassured, “What’s the—”
The bell rang, and it was time for the third period of the school day.
“Looks like we have to go now.” Angel smiled as she quickly packed her things for the next class. “I’ll see you around!” Angel stood up with her backpack, and walked past Alexis. She gave him a small wave and disappeared so quickly, Alexis didn’t have time to bid her farewell!
❦
The third period is over, and now it’s time for lunch. Seats were filled practically everywhere, and Alexis didn’t have a place to sit. The tables were all divided by different groups of kids. They all had their own friends. Well, Alexis had some too. Or, maybe they were more like acquaintances. He doesn’t really speak with them much outside of school. In Alexis’s free time, after school and during school, he liked to draw. Or, read his books; fictional books. But in most cases, he would play football.
Alexis scanned the cafeteria, looking for empty seats.
On one side of the cafeteria, there was a huge group of girls huddled up together, laughing and giggling at who knows what. There was another group, this time it was full of boys. They were quite loud all together. They were playing with their food, flipping milk cartons and mixing their lunches together. Probably experimenting and trying to create new foods to eat. Though, it looked disgusting, with stew dripping all over their potatoes. On top of that were chocolate milk being lathered over the food, sprinkled in with some spinach as a finisher.
Alexis wrinkled his nose at the sight. He definitely won’t be sitting there. Alexis turned his head to face the group of girls.
He wasn’t going to sit there either, they’re too intimidating. Alexis turned around to face the other side of the cafeteria. They're already booked. Alexis sighed as he turned back again, facing the two groups.
There was a seat in between them, three seats apart.
Alexis had no choice but to sit there.
He walked over to the table, and plopped onto the second seat. He was perfectly in the middle now, Alexis places his lunch bag down and zips it open. Alexis packs his own lunch everyday, Mama and Papa were too busy to do it for him. But when Mama wasn’t busy, she would pack Alexis sandwiches, an apple that isn’t sliced, and cheese. Mama wouldn’t pack Alexis any drinks, she says that it’s Alexis responsibility to pack his own. There were rarely any snacks or sweets in the pantry at home, or any sugary drinks in the fridge. It was only water, milk, and sometimes orange or apple juice. When there were snacks, it was only because Alexis had managed to convince Mama to buy them. And luckily, Alexis was able to make her buy mini pretzels.
Alexis took out his lunchbox from the bag, and opened the lid. There was the ham and cheese sandwich Alexis had packed this morning. With sliced strawberries, and a small dip of nutella. Beside the fruit was a container with rice and cheese curry. Alexis had also packed the mini bag of pretzels. He took out his small water bottle from the lunch bag, and plopped it on the table. Alexis had also brought his school bag, with all his folders in it. Alexis took out a lined sheet of paper and a pencil. He picked up his sandwich halves, and bit into it. Munching on the ham and cheese, alongside with some lettuce. Alexis returns the bitten sandwich into his lunch box in exchange for his pencil. Luckily, Alexis remembered that he had literature homework, so he started on it while eating lunch.
It was a free for all poem— you can just write whatever you’d want to write about. And that’s what Alexis did.
Magic on the Field
By Alexis Ness
There is magic on the field.
Magic that you cannot see.
Magic can be seen as fate, or someone’s destiny.
It can be seen as the impossible. It can be seen as fake or fictional.
But magic is real.
Because on the field, there is magic.
The feeling of magic is indescribable.
You cannot explain it scientifically.
But you can see it happening.
With a single goal, a player can ignite the crowd.
Whip the stadium into a frenzy.
And provide a sense of euphoria that transcends all logic.
Football players are magicians.
Football is magic.
There is magic on the field.
Alexis enjoyed writing. He’d keep a notebook to himself to jot his feelings down, to find a way to describe it. But it’s hard sometimes. There’s this lingering sadness in his heart, that never goes away. Especially when the existence of magic is denied. Because Alexis truly believes that magic does exist. He keeps his journal hidden away in his room, away from Mama. Away from Papa, Rachel, and Matt too. Alexis knows very well what would happen if they found his journal. Mama and Papa would make him sit down at the dinner table, flipping through every page to explain why Alexis had felt that way. To dictate how he feels. Rachel and Matt would ridicule him for caring so much. They would call him stupid for believing something so useless in the scientific world.
The bell rang, and it was time for recess. Alexis loved recess, he gets to play football with the other kids. Alexis was very fond of football, it was fun and magical.
Alexis packed his lunch box away into his lunch bag, then placed that bag inside of his backpack. Alexis shoves his lined paper into his folder, before rising up from his seat, and joins a line that leads the students outside of school, into the recess yard. There, kids were running around, playing tag and some other games. As Alexis walked out the door, he noticed some girls drawing on the ground with chalk. They were drawing flowers. Some of the flowers were white daisies, yellow sun flowers, and a blue rose. The blue rose had green stems, dressed with thorns that shielded it from harm. From the stems, there were a couple of leaves sticking out from it, giving it a nice appearance. But the leaves weren't just colored green, they were mixed with brown and purple. The blue rose looked like it was wilting. Beside the blue rose, was a red one. Its stem was broken, kneeling down, kissing the face of the Earth. The red palette of the rose faded into a brown, giving the rose a rotten effect. Its petals were on the ground, scattered and broken. The girls’ drawing was so detailed, filled with overwhelming emotions. It made Alexis shiver as he kept staring at the vivid illustration.
“Do you want to draw too?”
Alexis jumped at the question. He was too immersed by the art and its emotions, Alexis completely forgot he had been staring. Alexis shook his head, smiling and apologizing awkwardly for just standing there.
“I really like your art, it looks really good.”
The girl who asked if Alexis wanted to draw too looked up at him, smiling. Alexis pointed to the blue and red rose drawing.
“Thanks, but she drew that one.”
The girl gestured at the other. She had dyed bangs and wore glasses— oh, that’s Angel! Alexis called her, then the girl with glasses looked up at him.
“Your colored roses are nice, they look good.”
She smiled and thanked Alexis for his praise. She resumed drawing on the ground with the other girl with long black hair. Alexis could tell that they’re best friends.
“Does your rose drawing have a message behind it?” He gestured to the blue and red rose.
“They do! The blue rose is incapable of loving, and that’s why it has thorns wrapped around its stem.”
Angel gestured to the drawing. “Because of that, its leaves are wilting because the rose’s incapability to love is ruining it. It’s dying slowly until it reaches its climax!”
“Angel, you can’t be hiding the fact you read fan—”
Angel quickly brings her finger up to the girl’s lips, and shushes her.
“Kiki! We both read that, people don’t need to know!”
Angel’s finger falls from Kiki’s lips, laughing. Kiki rolled her eyes, smiling. Angel turns to Alexis and continues speaking before Alexis could ask what they were talking about.
“The red rose’s stem is bent, because it has fallen head over heels for the blue rose!”
Alexis nodded along, watching her finger that moved to point at the red rose.
“But because the blue rose isn’t able to love, the red rose dies because its love wasn’t reciprocated!”
“That’s kind of dark, don’t you think?”
Angel shook her head while Kiki smiled at Alexis’s question.
“I think it’s quite interesting, the unrequited love.” Kiki says, going back to drawing. Angel nodded along and followed suit. Before Alexis could say another thing, another girl appeared. She was short, and was tan like Angel. Her hair was long, like Kiki’s and the three shared the same eye color– a caramel brown color.
“Okay, I’m back from the bathroom. Can we go sit on the rocks?”
Angel stood up, and Kiki did as well. Alexis notices the height difference between the girls. The one who came from the bathroom was the shortest, and Angel was the tallest out of the three of them.
“You don’t want to draw Avery?” Angel blinked while Kiki steered her attention to her.
Avery shook her head and gestured for them to follow, Angel sighed and picked up the chalk from the ground and returned it to the bin. Angel returned quickly, and began walking with Avery. Kiki followed as well as they chatted on the way toward their designated spot. Before they walked off, Angel and Kiki waved a small goodbye for Alexis, giving him a small smile. Alexis waved and smiled back, before taking off into the football field. There, Alexis played football with the kids there.
“Alexis, be on their team!” The boy pointed to the other side. His name was Ronny, and Alexis was playing against him. Alexis smiled and nodded, this was the only time of day Alexis had felt happy. Alexis approaches the other team, waving. The boys and a few girls smiled and nodded. Then, the game started.
Ronny’s team started with the ball with him in the center. He started the kick off, and ran to the side of the field with the ball. Alexis quickly tags along, blocking his way. Ronny tosses the ball up into the air, only for Alexis to intercept it with his flexible ankles. He sets the ball down with his foot and begins kicking the ball away from Ronny while maintaining the perfect distance just in case he needed to pass. Ronny comes back for the ball, trying to steal it from Alexis. With Alexis’s rational technique and flexible ankles, he steers the ball away from Ronny’s rasp. The other people on Ronny’s team came in front of Alexis’s path, defending the goal. Alexis smoothly dribbled past the defenders, but one came up right in front of Alexis. Alexis’s body faced away from the defender, using himself as a shield. He quickly scans the field to see if anyone is in the defender’s blindspot. There was a girl, in the perfect position. Alexis uses his ankles to keep the ball just out of the defender’s stealing range, and chips the ball with the back of his heel. Alexis sends the ball flying, where the girl could chase after it. Alexis watches the girl catch up to the ball, then she cranked her legs back, winding it up then kicking it.
The football flew gracefully in the air. Some of the defenders on the opposing team tried to intercept the ball by kicking their leg high in the sky, while some tried to use their head. They were unsuccessful, as the football remained in the sky, soaring. Alexis watches the ball attentively, waiting for it to make contact with the net. The opposing team’s goal keeper was trying their best to read the direction of where the football was heading. The football’s trajectory was flying to the left side of the goal. The goal keeper jumped, reaching for the ball.
But it was too late.
The ball had already kissed the net, fiercely and passionately.
The girl Alexis had passed to score a goal for the team. She turns to Alexis, giving him a thumbs up before being bombarded with pats on the shoulder by the people on the team they shared. Alexis only smiles back. They played football until recess was over.
❦
The clock’s hands ticked slowly and Alexis glared at it. Time was going by so slowly Alexis thought the universe was playing tricks on him, or torturing him even! His eyes shifted back onto his math worksheet. Instead of doing work, Alexis started drawing instead. Tapping his foot underneath the desk, it sends Alexis into a state of calmness. He doodles magic roses that intertwine with each other, brushing petals and melting together. Beside those roses were dragons and fairies Alexis drew. The dragons were surrounding a tower where an elf had been trapped in, while the fairies roamed around their houses of mushrooms. Alexis smiled at the picture, before finally returning back to his math work sheet. He wrote his name down along with the date. Alexis’s eyes shifted to the math problems and sighed. He stared at the page for a good ten minutes before finally starting the work.
Thirty minutes had gone by, and Alexis found himself looking at the clock again. Math class is almost over, and he can go home soon. He huffed and turned back to face forward, only for his eyes to meet his math teacher, Ms. Herring.
“Aren’t you in a hurry?”
She smiled as she handed a paper to Alexis. Confused, Alexis raised his eyebrows. Ms. Herring only motioned for Alexis to turn his paper around, then went back to passing papers. Alexis flipped the sheet over, only to find out it was the test Alexis took before winter break! Alexis’s eyes scanned the paper for every question that got marked right and wrong. The space beside Alexis’s written name was marked with a whopping 80%! Alexis smiled, thinking about how good he did, and imagining how Mama and Papa would react to his score. This is one of the best scores Alexis had ever gotten on a math test. Alexis’s cheeks flushed with pink, and he faced his paper once again. Alexis blinked once, twice, and even thrice! Alexis couldn’t believe that he managed to score an 80 on a test. Alexis rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. He even swiped his finger on the paper multiple times to make sure that it was real.
Alexis leaned back onto his chair, and smiled. Today felt like a major accomplishment. Alexis spoke to some people, and became their acquaintances. He played football and was filled with that indescribable feeling when his team scores, and he did well on his math test! Alexis kicks his feet underneath his desk, legs swinging and free but careful enough not to kick the kid in front of him. He smiled bashfully, imagining all sorts of praise Mama and Papa would give him once he showed them the test. Alexis hummed as he resumed back to his math worksheet. In a better mood, Alexis was able to finish his paper on time before the bell rang, and handed in his work to Ms. Herring. She nodded and gave Alexis a pat on the back as he went back to his desk to pack his school supplies up. Alexis was practically glowing, he couldn't wait to go home to tell Mama and Papa about his day.
❦
Alexis arrived home. He skipped through the door, with a smile so big anyone would think Alexis had won the lottery.
“Mama! Mama!”
Mama was sitting on the couch, typing on her laptop. Alexis stood near her, peering onto her screen. It seems like she was researching something, Alexis didn’t question it. He stood there, waiting for Mama to acknowledge him.
A few minutes had gone by, and Mama finally shut her laptop down, placing it on the side of the couch and facing Alexis.
“What do you need now?”
Alexis smiled at Mama, and took off his backpack to retrieve his math folder. Standing there, Alexis quickly whipped out his math test, and pulled it up to his face to show Mama.
Mama sat there in silence, staring at the sheet.
“Mama, I got an 80!”
“I see that.”
“I did better than usual! Are you proud?”
Silence filled the space between them.
Alexis lowered his paper down, to see why Mama wasn’t responding. Mama stared blankly at the paper, then at Alexis, raising an eyebrow.
“Is that all?”
A knot formed in Alexis’s throat. His eyes widened slightly, lips quivering.
“Yes, Mama.” He swallowed.
Mama only nodded and opened up her laptop again, placing it on her lap. She resumed her typing, distributing her attention back to the screen once more.
His eyes lowered to the ground, biting back disappointed tears that so desperately wanted to kiss the ground.
“Aren’t you happy?”
The words came out quietly, barely audible.
Without looking up from the screen, Mama spoke, “There is nothing to be happy about being average, Alexis.”
Alexis tightened his grip on the paper, and bit his lips harder. Mama continued lecturing Alexis about why he shouldn’t be happy with such an average score. The words came out cruel, it felt like her words were calculated to kill Alexis’s confidence. His eyes remained on the floor, eyes burning and red at the rim.
“But Mama, I got a better grade than before.” Slow, and almost incoherent, Alexis’s words came out in a whimper. “Isn’t that good? My improvement?”
Mama only sighed at the sound of Alexis speaking and shook her head.
“I can acknowledge that scoring an 80 on your math test is a major improvement compared to your previous ones.”
Alexis’s breath hitched at the sound of Mama speaking, eyes gleaming and lips curved slightly. It was obvious Alexis was hoping that Mama would praise him. Like a “Good job!” or, “That’s great!” Hell, even something half-hearted, Alexis would take it. Mama can even lie straight to his face and Alexis would still thank her for the “praise” and hum happily. Something as small as humming in acknowledgement, noticing that Alexis did well or even giving him a simple high-five. Alexis would take it all.
“However, an 80 is not the same as 100.”
Mama’s statement stood in the air, frigid and frozen, daring Alexis to say something back. And so, Alexis does. “But—”
“Your score would be worth celebrating if it was an A+.”
His pupils shrunk in disappointment. Alexis’s sad gaze lifted from the grown, and settled on Mama.
On cue, Mama spoke again. “You will never amount to anything if you settle for the average. Do better, Alexis.”
“W-what?”
Mama shuts her laptop down, and rises from the couch. She stands tall, looking down at Alexis before shaking her head in disappointment. “Maybe if you were smarter, your achievements can be celebrated like Rachel and Matt.”
“I tried my best, Mama.”
“Your best isn’t enough. It never will be, if you think that’s the best you can do then you’ll just wind up as a failure.”
Alexis’s eyes widened in shock from Mama’s harsh words. His frown deepened and his tears started to spill. Mama turned her back to Alexis, and walked away. The door opened behind him, and footsteps approached from behind.
It was Papa.
“What is that paper in your hand, Alexis?”
Papa pointed at the sheet Alexis was holding. Alexis inhaled deeply to restrict himself from crying in front of Papa. Without turning to him, Alexis spoke. “It’s my math test.” Without another beat, Papa questioned Alexis if he had gotten an A+ on the paper. Alexis shook his head slowly, his eyes were brought to the ground once again. Papa heavily sighed at the response. Alexis knew at that moment, he was about to get lectured about his incapabilities and why his efforts are never enough.
How Alexis isn’t enough.
Papa began rambling in his speech about Alexis’s score, and how disappointed he was that all his other children are capable of achieving straight A’s, how they’re able to achieve all sorts of awards and prizes because they were intelligent. Alexis could only bite down on his lips even harder now, while Papa continued his hurtful thoughts. Papa even brought up how Rachel and Matt’s achievements were hung on display for everyone in the house to see, while Alexis had none. To add salt into the wound, Papa brings up that the reason why Alexis isn’t as smart or as his siblings is because he still believes in stupid, illogical things like magic. Alexis finally broke out into a loud sob, sniffling and crying while trying to wipe off the evidence off his face. Papa rolled his eyes dismissively and before continuing on the belittlement that was horribly disguised as a lecture, he grabs Alexis by the shoulder and jerks him around; forcing Alexis to face him.
Alexis gasped and slapped Papa’s hand away. The sound of shock that escaped Papa’s mouth was so loud, Alexis was sure Rachel and Matt who were in their rooms researching and studying could hear it. Alexis braced himself for the continuation of the “lecture” by gripping his shoulder where Papa previously had forcibly held. He bit his lips once more as his other hand tightened on the math test. Alexis bit his lips so hard, he tasted his crimson blood. It was metallic and salty with an ounce of sweetness. It stained Alexis’s tongue, but the blood didn’t stain as much as the words that came out of Papa’s cruel mouth.
It didn’t stain as much as Mama’s sharp tongue, or as much as Rachel’s and Matt’s bullying.
The stain of having nowhere to belong was much bigger than all of that.
“How dare you slap my hand away, you disrespectful good-for-nothing brat!”
Alexis flinched at Papa’s voice. Papa’s voice was growing louder and louder as he spoke.
“You have the audacity to hit my hand while I’m here lecturing you?”
Alexis gulped his tears away, his sadness replaced with something entirely different.
“How in the world is this a lecture?”
“Oh, so you’re talking back now?”
The knot in Alexis’s voice returned, it was getting harder to speak. But, Alexis tried his best to continue. “You’re a liar! You’re not lecturing—”
His cheek burned, the red growing alarmingly. Alexis blinked and brought his free hand up to his cheek. The pain stung. Alexis’s eyes widened, realizing what had happened.
“Papa… Slapped me..?”
Alexis slowly turned his head towards Papa, with his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes welled up with angry tears, and Alexis’s magenta eyes met Papa’s. Alexis’s eyes were once soft, and now they were narrowed, sharp and infuriated. Papa on the other hand, wore an expression so unrecognizable, Alexis couldn’t even tell what was going on Papa’s mind.
“Alex–”
“Save it, Papa.”
Alexis turned away from Papa and swiftly stormed into his room. There, Alexis smashed his door shut and slammed into his bed. He quickly snatches the book on his nightstand, and holds it tight against his chest. Alexis wrapped his fluffy blanket over himself and finally let out a hysteretic wail. His cries bounced off the walls, filling the entire room. Luckily, Alexis’s walls were sound-proof. Mama and Papa had it that way because he cried often. Alexis’s sobs were as loud as a banshee’s. Loud, and haunting.
“Why do they think I’m stupid?” Alexis sobbed into his book. “Why do I have to be stupid?”
Alexis sniffled and wiped his tears away. He kept wiping and wiping them off, but it was no use. The tears fell down for what felt like eternity and all Alexis could do was cry. Cry about Mama and Papa, sob about how he isn’t as smart as Rachel and Matt and wondered why he wasn’t enough for them.
“Why am I never good enough?” Alexis choked out in tears. “Why do they have to compare me to them?”
Alexis continued coughing out his tears. “I’m my own person too, right? So why do I have to be like them?”
There, in his room Alexis cried while spiraling about things Alexis wished he could change. Maybe, Alexis should just wish to be a new person entirely.
❦
Apparently, Alexis had tired himself out by crying. He checked the time beside him, seeing that two hours had gone by after his breakdown. Alexis hops off his bed and sets his book down onto his nightstand. He exits his room, hungry.
On the couch, Rachel and Matt were there. Alexis walked by them without Rachel and Matt noticing his presence. He reaches the front door, and kneels down to put his sneakers on. Then, Alexis exits the house quietly with the keys in his pockets, and the wallet in the other. Alexis quickly makes his way down the block to find the cafe he was searching for. He enters the building without hesitation.
The cafe was dimly lit compared to the first time Alexis had come here.
Alexis scanned the room, only to find just a few people on their phones. They were all eating some sort of pastries with coffee. Or tea, Alexis couldn’t care less. He approaches the counter, his eyes met another with the old lady at the register. She smiles and warmly welcomes Alexis in.
“Good evening, Alexis!”
“Good evening, Kat.”
Alexis smiled back at her, though it didn’t reach his eyes at all. Alexis wondered if she could tell. Kat raises an eyebrow, questioning why Alexis looked a bit off. Alexis just smiled even wider, trying to convince her with his teeth that everything’s okay. Kat only sighs and lets it go. She cleared her throat and straightened herself up.
“Would you like your usual, Alexis?”
“Yes please, Kat. I’d like that.”
Kat smiles before turning her back to Alexis. Before walking off into the kitchen, she stops to speak. “Looks like someone remembered the magic word!”
Alexis chuckles lightly, “Yes, I remembered the magic word.” She disappeared behind the curtains that hung in the kitchen’s entryway. Alexis just sighed, bringing his palm up to the cheek where Papa had laid his hands on him. His cheek still stung from the pain, but it didn’t hurt that much compared to the moment when it happened.
Kat returned from the kitchen, and handed Alexis a plastic bag wrapped neatly with the box of a single sliced sachertorte. Alexis thanked her, telling Kat how much he appreciates her. She smiles at Alexis and tells him it wasn’t a big deal. Alexis only smiled.
“Eight euros, right?” Alexis says while reaching into his pocket. “It’s five euros for you, remember?”
Kat lowered her voice enough so that the rest of the customers wouldn’t hear her. Alexis shook his head and insisted that he’d pay for the full price. Kat narrowed her eyes on Alexis.
Alexis froze in place as she spoke, “Five euros.” Alexis nodded and paid her and thanked Kat for her time and left quickly.
Alexis backtracked his path in order to get home. He’d always peer into the alleyways, to see if the blonde from before would show up.
But he didn’t.
Alexis still looked anyway.
Alexis unwrapped his bag and lifted the lid of the box while he walked. He took the fork and ate the slice of sachertorte. Alexis smiled at the taste. “It still hits the same spot as before.”
Whenever Alexis goes out to buy his usual treat for whenever he’s upset, he’s accomplished something, or when he feels like it, Alexis would visit that same cafe every time. He became a regular there, ever since the first day he arrived. That was Alexis’s excuse for Kat whenever she questioned why he almost always shows up.
The real reason was to see if he could run into the blonde from Christmas. The boy Alexis shared his first slice of sachertorte with.
He missed the boy.
So as a solution, Alexis would visit the cafe to order his usual, and walk back home the same route he met the blonde.
Three times a week.
❦
Alexis peered into the mirror, staring at his figure. He was much taller now than before, his build much leaner. Alexis straightened himself, and fixed his curls for school– high school. He stares at his face, Alexis didn’t grow out of his chubby cheeks yet. His eyes are still doe, soft with thick lashes. Alexis continued trying to fix his hair, it was fluffy but messy. He tried his hardest to undo the magenta mess, but there was no luck. Alexis left his hair like that for the day.
Alexis waited at the bus stop, idly scrolling on his phone. He took out his earbuds, and plugged them into his device. Alexis plopped the buds into both his ears, and played his music, The Rose by Bette Midler. Alexis sighed, as he closed his eyes to listen to the music. He then sat down onto the seat.
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender read
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, it's only—
“Hello? Sorry— can you get that for me?”
Alexis immediately opened his eyes, to see an old man awkwardly smiling. Alexis took out his other earbud and raised an eyebrow, a cue for the man to repeat himself.
“Can you get that for me?”
The man pointed to a small, black box on the ground. It was below the seat Alexis was sitting on. Alexis nodded as he reached under to retrieve it for the guy.
“Thank you, I couldn’t afford to lose the box.” The man smiled, patting Alexis on the back. Alexis smiled, and was about to put his earbuds back in again. But the man spoke, “It’s a necklace I got for my daughter, she’s really fond of roses.” Alexis faced the man— who was actually a lot shorter than Alexis had expected.
“You see, you look like you’ve known magic all your life. My daughter also really likes magic.”
The man grinned— Alexis couldn’t tell what the old fart was up to. “Are you a big fan of reading— reading books that revolve around magic?”
“I am, why do you ask?”
“So you see, I don’t know any kind of books like that. I’m not really fond of fictional books— my daughter loves them.” He takes a pause to smile sheepishly before the man continues. “Can you recommend some to me?”
Alexis’s face lit up hearing the word, magic. He started smiling like a dork– or as if someone had just confessed their feelings to Alexis and he had felt the same way. A blush then graces his cheek.
“O-of course!”
Alexis’s grin stretched out gradually as he began listing some books and series that he’d read before for the man. The guy nodded his head every time Alexis spoke, quickly typing on his phone to note down the suggestions. Once Alexis ran out of recommendations, the man thanked him and shook Alexis’s hands profusely. The bus came, and Alexis bid him farewell before getting on the transportation. The old man waved goodbye and excitedly dialed his daughter’s number to let her know about his conversation he had with Alexis. The man spoke so enthusiastically, Alexis could quite literally hear him as the bus began driving away.
Alexis navigates to an empty seat, and plugged in his earbuds once again, without interruption. He looked out the window and started humming, thinking about the conversation he just had.
“What a great way to start the day.” Alexis thought. He closed his eyes, resting his arms and face on the window.
❦
Math is not Alexis’s best subject. He reread the word problem over and over again until his eyes blurred. The words made no sense to Alexis. He hated how the words were just basically beating around the book. The wording was weird, and it was driving Alexis insane. He clawed at his fluffy, fuchsia colored hair, pulling his curls over and over again.
“I just don’t get this.” Alexis muttered.
He looked around the room for assistance– for a teacher, or anyone would do. Magenta eyes swiftly searched for an adult figure.
“Found you!” Alexis thought. The teacher was standing near him, speaking to a group of students. They weren’t even doing any work at all. Alexis rolled his eyes, contemplating if he should ask for help or not. He took out his school laptop, and checked his grades. His eyes scanned the screen as he looked for a section that was labeled, “Maths.”
Alexis found it, and clicked on the screen. There, in front of him was Alexis’s grade.
“An eighty-one?”
Alexis sighed, and rubbed his eyes again to check if he was seeing things. The grade was still the same, colored in a yellow-green color. It looks like Alexis really should ask for help after all. He shuts his screen and slides it back into his bag. Alexis’s gaze shifts from the carry-on, to the teacher. They were still there, in the same spot.
Alexis raised his hand up high, waiting for the teacher to notice him.
Alexis peered at the clock above the door, five minutes had gone by. Alexis shifts his attention back to the teacher, who was now laughing— probably at a student’s joke.
“Maybe if I stare at their back long enough, they’ll notice me.”
And so, Alexis continued staring at the back of his teacher. Impatiently, Alexis started tapping his foot on the ground to attract his teacher’s attention. They remained at the same spot, yapping to the group of students. Alexis watched the interaction, noticing how the group was half-heartingly listening to the teacher and their story. Alexis sighed and sneaked a glance at the clock again. Ten minutes had now gone by, and the teacher hadn’t even noticed Alexis yet.
Alexis sighed and switched arms to continue raising his hand.
Finally, the teacher stopped talking and turned away from the group of kids. They finally approached Alexis and—
The bell rang, indicating that the school day had just ended. The teacher paused in their walk, and straightened themselves. They clapped their hands four times, calling for the class’s attention.
“That’s the end of the day, there’s no homework!”
The classroom cheered so loudly Alexis had to cover his ears. He sighs out of frustration and packs his bag to head out.
Today, Alexis’s football team is playing against another school. Alexis can’t help but smile widely, earning confused stares as Alexis got ready for practice.
“Good luck on the game, Alexis!” His teammate called out, Alexis nodded and blushed slightly. “Thanks, you too!”
Alexis and his team were on the field now. Standing tall, against the opposing team. They stretched their limbs, preparing for the match. It was exciting.
Alexis thinks back to his family’s insults, trying to disencourage him from playing football.
“Is he an idiot?”
“Ignore him.”
“Forget about him. He’ll come crying—”
The whistle blew, breaking Alexis out from his memories.
“I’ll show them, I’ll turn pro!” Alexis whispered to himself.
“One day, I’ll become a player that’ll enter the world with my magic.”
The match started and everyone moved quickly, playing according to the plan they made up from practice. Alexis breaks off into a sprint, a cue for the ball to be passed to him. Alexis received the ball, and took the shot for himself. The football flew away from Alexis’s foot, being guided by the air currents. It glided by, passed the defenders. The goal keeper reacted rather slowly, and jumped for the ball. He reaches his hand out, trying to block the ball from entering the net.
He jumped a second too late, and faced plants into the ground. The football kissed the net. As a result, Alexis’s team had won the point.
Alexis continues to score with the help of his team.
❦
It was the end of the match. Alexis scored the last goal, the crowd and team cheering for him.
“Alexis! Alexis! Alexis!”
This was one of the times Alexis felt like he belonged. He knew this would be temporary, but he flashed his v-shaped smile nonetheless. Alexis turns around, only for his personal space to be invaded by his teammates who praised him for his play. They lifted Alexis up in the air, stringing compliments to his name.
Alexis can get used to this, this euphoric feeling.
“Woah, nice goal Alexis!”
“You’re invincible in this town!”
“Hurry up and turn pro, Alexis!”
Alexis raised his hand up high into a fist, displaying his victory. Alexis laughed— genuinely laughed happily at the comments by his teammates. Alexis thanked them eagerly, and complimented them for their effort in the match. After a good twenty minutes, all the players got ready to leave and head home. Alexis was in the shower, scrubbing himself clean from sweat. He puts his clothes on, zipping up a black-turtled neck jacket. Alexis wore sweat pants to keep himself comfortable, and wrapped his scarf around his neck. It almost covered his whole face!
Alexis makes his way out of the locker room, with his bags in hand. Before Alexis could put in his earbuds, a raspy voice called out to him. Alexis turned his attention to whoever was speaking. The man slowed his pace as he approached Alexis.
“Hey kid. If you’re interested in turning pro, do you want to try out for our club?”
Without hesitation, Alexis answered. “Sure, what’s the name?”
“Bastard Munchen, in two weeks it’ll start.”
“Okay, sure. I’ll need to ask for permission though.”
“Sweet, we’ll see you there.”
That day, Alexis went to bed with his heart pounding in his chest. It felt like the beginning of something new.
❦
Bastard Munchen tryouts were rough. The guys were tall, bulky and strong. They were much bigger than Alexis was, maybe six inches taller— the height difference felt insane to Alexis. He could raise up both his arms and stand on his toes, and they’d still probably be taller. Not to mention, they were quite scary looking. Everyone seemed to have a scowl on their face, lips turned upside down and their eyebrows were furrowed. Their broad shoulders, and toned bodies made them seem even more intimidating.
Alexis shook while looking at them.
Teeth clattering from the breeze, forearms rubbed together to create a sense of warmth that could accompany Alexis. Yet, the warmth was too little for him. Alexis carefully puts his gloves on, thinking to himself.
“If I show results in this tryout, the chances of me scoring a pro contract with Bastard Munchen will skyrocket— this club is the strongest in Germany… My dream of becoming a magician will come true!”
And with that, the kick off started.
Alexis starts with the ball, reaching out to it first before the opposing team could manage to have the football in possession. Immediately, two guys charged at Alexis, trying to steal the ball off of Alexis’s foot.
Alexis dribbled the ball away from the two players, pushing through in the front and leaving behind nothing but dust. Alexis makes his way to the goal, dribbling the ball and keeping it out of anyone’s range to steal.
“Hey number twenty! I’m open!”
Alexis bats an eye towards the voice that called out to him. The guy was being guarded by some player on the opposing team. What made the situation worse was that the guy’s too slow!
“I can’t pass to him… he’s going to get the ball stolen!”
Alexis sighs and thinks to himself, “It can’t be helped, since this team is makeshift… I guess I’ll pass to—”
“Huh?”
The ball is out of Alexis’s possession. Alexis looks back and blinks, staring at the man who kicked the ball out of Alexis’s reach.
“I swear I already got past this guy, but he’s already here?” Alexis bit his lips. The ball was now in the hands of another man. The guy makes his way across the field, creating a space between Alexis and the ball. Alexis watched as the guy dribbled past defenders, passed to one of his teammates, creating a pattern of one-two passes that left Alexis’s teammates in the background.
They were finally in the penalty zone, and Alexis’s goal keeper stared both of the opposing team members down, trying to figure out who would take the chance to score. Alexis watched as one of them passed to another, and the man kicked the ball into the air. The goalkeeper jumped, hands stretched out to avoid the ball from contacting the net. The football grazed the glove, and kissed the net with such passion, the opposing team yelled out, “goal!”
“These guys… are totally different from the players I’m used to facing.” Alexis breathlessly muttered to himself.
Just like that, the opposing team scored.
The event happened more and more often, all Alexis could do is bite his lips even harder.
Alexis has the ball this time, but there was a man in his way, attempting to steal the ball from Alexis’s grasp. He was huge, and felt insanely strong. Alexis was struggling to keep the ball, unable to pass it to his teammates who were calling out to him.
“Is this the level of those who are seriously trying to go pro..!?”
Alexis was nowhere near as strong as those who are also competing to go pro. He was able to keep up with his competition with his techniques and creativity. Those were the things Alexis had that were just good enough for him to be invited to Bastard Munchen Academy tryouts. But when it comes to tactics, coordination play, and transitions… These guys were on a whole different level.
Another player joined in, and attempted to pry the ball out of Alexis’s foot. The strength got doubled, and it felt like Alexis couldn’t take it anymore. He curses under his breath, and tried to push himself away from the defenders and pull the ball with him—
The two players dashed off without Alexis with the ball in their possession. Wide eyed, Alexis stumbles on his two feet after the breakaway. The fall was harsh— pitiful even. But, all Alexis could think at that moment was, “My magic is powerless, against the world!?”
“What the hell are you doing?” Alexis’s teammate shouted out.
“You’re too slow!”
Another voice sprouted and yelled, “Get rid of the ball quicker, slowpoke!”
“How many times are you going to let them steal the ball off of you, huh?”
Alexis crashes into the ground, shoulder swerved in front of his cheek to cushion his kiss with the Earth. There was a loud thud, and it felt like the world stopped.
“There’s no such thing as magic!”
“Shut up!”
“People who foolishly believe in magic are not wanted in this house.”
“Stop.”
The voices didn’t stop at all. It transcended into cruel insults.
“Stupid!”
“Idiot!”
“Dipshit!”
“Failure!”
The word failure echoed through Alexis’s mind, over and over again. Each voice took turns morphing into the sound of Mama, Papa, Rachel, then Matt, insulting Alexis. Belittling him, chastising him, telling Alexis to give up his dreams as a footballer and magic.
Alexis’s eyes teared up, lips quivering. His eyes were rimmed red, sweat dripping down his face that was marked by the ground. The Earth’s kiss left dirt on his cheek, and the fall pained Alexis’s arms and legs. The game was still going on, players trying out were shouting left to right. Alexis could hear the sound of the football being passed around, kicked, and stolen. Lying on the ground, Alexis realized how nobody on the makeshift team really cared about him. The magic Alexis had found in football was fading away. His ego tattered on the ground, unable to become whole. The search for magic had been for nothing. It was entirely a waste of time. Alexis shouldn’t have tried so hard to find magic. He shouldn't have tried so hard to prove to Mama and Papa that magic was real. He shouldn’t have tried out for Bastard Munchen at all. Yes, that’s right.
Mama and Papa were right.
Rachel and Matt are right.
Magic is stupid.
It doesn’t exist at all.
Alexis should quit football.
He should stop trying.
He should stop—
“Hey, loser.”
Alexis looked up, to see a tall, blonde man tower over him. His back was turned to Alexis. The wind blew gently, flashing the number eleven on his back. His hair was long and shaggy, face famed with blunt sides that framed his jawline. Alexis notices his arms and builds. He was much bigger than Alexis— a bit more muscle to say the least. The man was slim and stood firm into the field. He turned his head towards Alexis, who was still hugging the ground. His face— his eyes were sharp. Just below, to the end of his under lashes was a red line that traveled upwards, stopping at the end of the blonde’s eyeliner. His eyes— they fell on Alexis. The color was the most beautiful shade of blue Alexis had ever seen. It pierced Alexis’s body, seeing through him. Everything on the blonde’s face was gorgeous. From chin, all the way across to his forehead. His eyes were staring into Alexis’s— right, the handsome man was talking to him!
Alexis raised his head higher from the ground, giving the blonde a better look at his face. Alexis started to inspect the blonde even more now. Has he seen this guy before? Alexis couldn’t tell. He stared intently at the man’s eyes. Alexis’s tears dried up on his cheeks. Some of the tears still remained on his lashes, lips parted ready to speak. But, Alexis couldn’t find any words to give back to the man. The blonde’s icy gaze was still on Alexis’s face. Alexis watches as his eyes analyze him, the blue eyes shifted to his body— that was still lying on the ground. Alexis felt his face heat up, blush creeping in on his cheek.
“He must be waiting for me to get up, shit!”
Alexis opened his mouth to speak, lips parted once again and a small voice appeared.
“Do—”
“Do you believe in the impossible?”
“Huh?”
“Just now,” The blonde spoke, “The thought of giving up flashed in your mind. Am I wrong?”
Alexis just stared at him, pupils dilated in curiosity. No answer came out of Alexis's mouth, but the man continued his dialogue.
“That kind of thinking is a curse. Stupid scrub.”
Alexis wasn’t sure if the last part of his sentence was meant for him, but Alexis listened anyway.
“The moment people believe things are impossible, they are programmed to give up— a useless survival mechanism.”
Alexis slowly began to rise up, sitting up on his bottom. The man was somewhat facing Alexis now. Alexis’s heart thumped faster at the sight of him. Alexis thought his face looked familiar.. He looks like the blonde Alexis encountered when he was younger. Alexis' mouth opened to speak, but the blonde standing in front of him continued talking.
“But that’s the thought process of the weak.”
“While you protect your hide, you kill and seal off your potential…”
The blonde’s voice trailed off, his eyes darting to the opposing team members. This time, his voice began more louder, more rougher before continuing. His eyes were set on Alexis again.
“Sacrificing your talent in exchange for living a long and tedious life.”
“Those trash who do that are the ones I hate the most.”
Alexis gasps at the blonde’s sudden confidement. He nudges his head over to the opposing team.
“I’ll admit our opponents are good. But they’re only executing what is possible at a very high level.”
“I don’t see a truly strong player among them…”
The blonde’s sharp blue eyes darted back to Alexis’s soft, magenta ones.
“But you’re different.”
A slow, but smile crept onto Alexis’s face. Overruling the tears Alexis had shedded earlier.
“Your dribbling, the timing of your passes, you were imagining plays one step ahead…”
Alexis’s small smile turned into an even bigger one as the stranger praised him. A slight blush kisses Alexis’s cheeks.
“But—”
Alexis’s smile faltered, ready to take the blonde’s criticisms. He closes his eyes, ready to absorb the next thing the man wanted to say.
The blonde raised an eyebrow, he probably noticed the change of expression on Alexis’s face. Alexis sheepishly smiles at him, he could feel his blush take up his face again. But this time, it was out of embarrassment. The stranger didn’t question him,
“You didn’t have a partner that understood your ideas.”
The breeze picked up, and the blonde’s hair swayed in the wind. The sight was majestical to Alexis. Alexis’s eyes landed on the man’s neck. There was a beautiful rose tattoo on the side of his neck. The rose was inked in such a brilliant, royal blue. Alexis couldn’t take his eyes off of it. He admires the blonde’s neck, noting how there were lines of black ink leading up to the blue rose. Alexis notices the small leaves of the blue rose were not green—but also inked in black. There were small thorns below the royal blue rose, right on the inked stem. Alexis wondered what the whole tattoo would’ve looked like, if he could see it all. The blonde returns his long, messy hair to cover the rose tattoo. He must’ve noticed Alexis staring at his neck. Embarrassment crept onto Alexis’s face, his back warmed up as Alexis’s eyes traveled back to the man’s eyes. The blonde’s blue eyes broke eye contact, and shifted somewhere else on Alexis’s face— probably Alexis’s lips. Right, the man was talking to Alexis. He was probably waiting for a response from him, but he was too busy basically drooling over the blonde’s neck tattoo. Alexis probably looked like a creep— or a pervert even. Alexis imagined himself slapping himself in the face on both cheeks as punishment. Wait— Alexis needed to say something for the conversation to continue. He didn’t want the pretty man to think Alexis was ignoring him! His lips parted to speak, but the only thing Alexis could say out loud was just one word.
“Eh?”
“One word my ass!” Alexis thought. Alexis imagined himself slapping his own forehead this time for his stupidity. That was more like a sound, “Eh” basically isn’t even a word anyway.
The blonde gave him a look— Alexis couldn’t figure out what that look meant. He blankly stared at the man, before coming back to reality after a small noise. Alexis’s eyes darted to the man’s lips. It was slightly opened.
“Did he just chuckle?”
Before Alexis could answer his own question in his head, the blonde cleared his throat before continuing to speak.
“With me, all of your ideas will become possible.”
The beautiful man reaches his hand down, and lowers it for Alexis. His blue eyes peered into his, offering Alexis a hand. Alexis eyed at his hand, curiously.
“Get up.”
Alexis winced at the command. His voice was stern now, demanding. Alexis blinked at the order, staring at the stranger. He sat up straight, on his knees this time, wondering if he should take the blonde’s hand. Before Alexis could debate if he should play with the stranger, his voice rose again. This time, nudging his hand closer for Alexis to grab onto. Alexis felt a blush creeping in again, at the gesture.
“Let’s do this, loser.”