Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Ch. 15

Fresh Air

“Grifffin? Griffinnn..” 

There was a hand against his arm, gently poking. Griffin didn’t wake up immediately, not yet. He didn’t want to. Griffin snuggled a little closer into whatever sheets and person he was against. Not everything in his mind was collected immediately. 

“I get it, man. But it’s twelve, and the eggs are getting cold.” The voice was kind, but the words made Griffin freeze. 

Slowly, he used his arms to push himself up, staring at the boy beside him. At first, he thought he would see the room. The basement- with the evil man in front of him, telling him the eggs in front of him were good. That he needed to eat, or else he’d whisk away before the fun part began. 

But he didn’t. All he saw was Paperboy, who looked half awake but very happy at the moment. Griffin just stared at the boy, swallowing. Nothing around him felt like that room. Not the sheets, not the smell, not the people. But..

“Eggs?” Griffin spoke quieter than normal, feeling a little like he might puke again. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all, no. 

Paperboy seemed to immediately sense his horror. He smiled a little, not looking away from Griffin as he pet his terrifying dog, who had apparently ended up with them in here while Griffin slept. “Eggs, yeah. We have other things, though. Do you not like eggs? We have lots of fruit. Do you like fruit? We also have uh- more cheese and crackers, I know you like those, uh, graham crackers, dry cereal.. I’d honestly have to go look.” Paperboy chuckled a little, trailing off. 

Griffin blinked a few more times, before nodding slowly. “..Okay.”

That was.. fine. He didn’t have to eat the eggs. No- no, he didn’t need to. He had other options. Many. They could eat the.. eggs, and Griffin could be fine with that. Right?

—

He had a decently colourful plate in front of him. It had a red and blue pattern on the part where it flared out, and drawings of suns in the areas. Griffin wasn’t sure why, but it made him feel.. not sad. Just.. like he was missing something. But he couldn’t remember what. 

There were little bits of everything on this plate. Paperboy had explained what everything was as he made it. Some dry oats, a few graham crackers, and a couple of cut up apples were on one half. On the other, the majority of the plate was some goldfish. Griffin knew he liked those.

“You wanna do anything today?” Paperboy asked, shamelessly chowing down on a cantaloupe slice like it was watermelon. He was sitting beside Griffin on the couch. Griffin wasn’t sure they were allowed to eat here, but Paperboy didn’t look worried. 

“Your mom ‘ll be worried though, no?” The boy took a bite, “You’ve been gone for a while, from what I’ve seen.” 

Griffin considered it, picking up a goldfish to try. It was familiar. It was nice. “I don’t think she’ll notice.” He answered, honest. The next bit was not as honest. “She doesn’t want me to be.. at that house while she is not there.”

Griffin didn’t actually know what the stranger thought. He did know what Robin wanted, though. The rules were the same, probably. Griffin couldn’t even remember what she looked like now. Or him, either.

“Really? Well- I guess that makes sense.” Paperboy hummed, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. “You can stay here as long as you want, man. Well- mom’ll get worried eventually, but y’know. Whatever you need.”

Griffin blinked, looking over. It was rather.. kind of Paperboy to say that. He wondered if he had any idea he was, most likely, literally saving Griffin’s life. “Thank..you.”

Paperboy beamed. “O’ Course! It’s no big deal.” He went back to looking at the TV that was on. A pixelated cartoon was on at the moment. 

Griffin looked down at his.. assortment of foods. He hesitated, before figuring he could take a chance. Paperboy had given him them, anyway. He grabbed one of the apple cubes, and slowly nibbled on one of the edges.

..it wasn’t.. entirely bad. Still, his face scrunched up. He set the food back down, and did his best to swallow down the piece in his mouth. It felt uncomfortable to do so. When he finally did, he quickly went back to his goldfish. 

Griffin looked back over, flinching a little when he realised Paperboy had been staring, and he had a bright, goofy smile on his face. They just kind of stared for a moment. 

“Hm?” Griffin wasn’t sure how to start a conversation here..What would Bruce do? Well- he’d probably just let Paperboy speak first. Probably.

“We should go to the mall.” Paperboy was grinning so hard he looked like Bruce. Griffin didn’t even really process what the boy had said yet, he was just staring.

“The mall?” He repeated, feeling confusion creep in. A…mall? The dead boys hadn’t talked about a mall before. 

“Yeah! We could like, go to the library there or something. Uahh- they’ve got a lotta food there so I’ll probably eat, but we can bring your goldfish, and-”

“What’s.. a mall?” Griffin asked quietly, interrupting Paperboy’s ramble. He watched in real time as Paperboy slowly processed the question, and turned to Griffin even slower.

“Did you, Griffin Stagg, just admit to me, Billy Showalter, that you don’t know what a mall is?”

Griffin felt a little awkward, before slowly nodding. Paperboy had gotten really close. “Yes. I. Did?”

Paperboy was grinning so, so hard. He set down his plate, before standing up. He tugged and pulled Griffin along with him, somewhere. Griffin was being led to a lot of places lately. 

—

“Griffin- Griffin. What are you doing?” Paperboy looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or just stare in confusion. 

Griffin still didn’t stare into the mirror, but put the.. brush into his hair like he had seen Vance do before. This brush was weird. It was bright, and small, and rather rectangular. “...Brushing?” He felt very silly.

Paperboy's face had slowly morphed into horror, and he shuffled a little. “Griffin, you… have you never…” He made a gesture with his hand, going back and forth across his mouth. 

“Huh?” 

They just stared at each other in silence for a few minutes. Griffin wasn’t sure what the problem was. Maybe Paperboy just didn’t know how to brush hair? His hair was short, so that made sense… Griffin put the brush back in his hair. Maybe Paperboy just needed to be shown how to. 

“No- no nonono.” Paperboy reached and took the brush out of Griffin’s hold. He still looked caught off guard, but he still moved. Griffin watched as Paperboy turned on the sink and.. dunked the brush under water. He opened a tube, and put some.. weird paste onto the brush. 

Griffin hadn’t seen Vance do that before. 

“Here.” Paperboy put the handle back into Griffin’s hand, making sure he really had it before he let go and grabbed his own brush. “You use it for your teeth. That’s why it’s called a toothbrush. You just..” Paperboy bared his teeth, which looked a little silly, before he put the brush-hair against his teeth and did circles. The paste got foamy… eee-yuck. “Like that.”

Griffin hesitated. He didn’t really want to eat the paste. Still, he mimicked Paperboy’s face, and brought the brush up to his mouth. He copied the little brushing motions, before his face scrunched. It was an odd taste, and Griffin despised it. His throat didn’t seem to work to swallow it, so he was just stuck there in his disgust till he got over to the counter and spit it back out. Gross gross gross.

“Auhh…?” Paperboy shuffled a little, looking awkward. “You’re supposed to brush them a bit longer than that, but yeah. That’s how it works.” 

Long- longer? Why would anybody submit themselves to that torture for longer? But..

It was a bit of back and forth before Griffin managed to hold his gags down long enough to brush for a full twenty seconds, and Paperboy didn’t insist anymore. Then, Paperboy handed up a stick that looked like a weird smelling popsicle. That was a whole other discovery.

(“What- no- bad- Griffin you don’t eat the deoDORANT-"  

AaeGH- ausgshh- HEUGh-”)

—

“Alright, Griffin! This isss.. the mall! The best place you’ve ever been to, ever, in the history of your life!” Paperboy had his hands on his hips, grinning through his heavy breaths. 

“..It was so, so far away..” Griffin mumbled. It was uncomfortable how much he could feel his lungs right about now. Awful, actually. They had walked all the way here.

“Yeah- but, it’s worth it! Promise! Just follow me, dude.”  

Griffin blinked as Paperboy pulled him into the building. Griffin wasn’t sure he was going to like the ‘mall’. It was loud, and bright, and full of odd smells he didn’t like. Griffin wasn’t sure what appeal Paperboy saw so much in this place.

Getting inside wasn’t much better. Paperboy dragged him through the mess, up till they got in front of a giant paper sign.. it looked like it was showing where a bunch of places were. Griffin didn’t really care much for that.

“There’s Fashion Bar, uhh, Chess King, an ice cream shop, the arcade.. uh.. you’d probably like Waldenbooks. Do you have anywhere in..mind.” Paperboy had turned to Griffin, slowing down at the express on the boy’s face. Griffin was deeply, deeply uncomfortable here. It was like a school building, just a lot, lot worse.

Griffin was frowning, and he could feel it. The way the corners of his mouth were turned downward. It hurt again. Still, he could dismiss it with how his head seemed to throb in this place. 

Paperboy looked a little guilty, shuffling on his feet. “Well, uh.. we can just go to Waldenbooks. But, uhm.. I still need to eat. If you don't like, explode before we get there.” Paperboy attempted to joke, smiling a tad. 

Griffin considered it, feeling like he should just climb out of his skin and run out of the building before they even got to that point. That would be nice. If Paperboy wasn’t.. hungry. He probably needed food or else he would feel bad. Griffin’s.. pretty sure he understood. He didn’t eat as much as Paperboy did, but Griffin had discovered what it was like to go hungry. It was gross. So..

“Okay..” 

Paperboy cheered, quite literally jumping. It made Griffin flinch. Everything was so loud..

“Oh- sorry.” Paperboy whispered, awkwardly smiling as he calmed down. The boy snickered before grabbing Griffin’s hand again. Paperboy’s hand was warm. 

Griffin tried to see where they were running to- really, he did- but Paperboy moved so fast through the crowd that everything was a blur. Griffin almost felt sick, like he might puke again. Augh…

Eventually, they got to a table in the ‘food court’ according to Paperboy. The boy had gone and left somewhere, getting himself some fuel. He left Griffin alone, which wasn’t bad by any means. But.. Griffin felt awkward with people all around him. He didn’t like it. He couldn’t see what everyone was doing and if they were going to do something or just.. anything. He couldn’t really focus. He just spent his time watching all the living people. 

That part was kind of nice. Nobody really approached him, which meant he kind of felt like he was dead again. Griffin enjoyed that. It would feel relaxing if the living world wasn’t so loud and awful smelling. 

“Oh come on, Bruce. Stop being a wuss and just do it.” 

“I’m not going to ask her out, man. Why are you so insistent on this anyway?”

Griffin knew that voice. He looked over, blinking a few times. Bruce? Bruce was here?

Bruce and his.. other friends were here. They were sitting at another table, a bigger one. It was Bruce, and three other people Griffin’s never seen before. Two other guys and one girl. It got Griffin’s attention fast, even if he wasn’t sure what they were talking about yet.

“Dude. She obviously likes you. If you don’t ask her, I will for you.” The girl.. teased, even if it wasn’t really funny. 

Bruce chuckled a little, but looked uncomfortable. “Don’t do that. I mean- she’s nice. She’s just not my type.”

“Okayy..” The girl nodded, leaning back. “Well who is your type?”

“Auh..” Bruce looked really, really uncomfortable. Griffin felt bad. Bruce was his.. friend. Friends didn’t let friends feel bad, right? That was just being a bad friend. At least- that’s what Dead Robin head said when Vance would comment on Finney in the basement. 

“I’m back-” Paperboy said, walking over just as Griffin was standing up. “Oh- hey- where are you-”

Griffin had already left before Paperboy could finish. He wormed his way between tables, till he was just behind Bruce. Bruce’s friends noticed him before Bruce did. They gave Griffin a few weird looks, but Griffin didn’t care about them.

“Bruce.” 

The boy flinched, spinning around like a spring before Griffin could even finish speaking. He looked like he had been caught off guard, before he noticed it was Griffin. He seemed to have a moment of processing in real time, before he realised it was Griffin, and he beamed so fast it was almost amusing. 

“Griff! Oh my god- I didn’t know you were- hey!” Bruce giggled, waving. He seemed to have already forgotten his other friends were there, who all looked confused. “What’re you doin’ here? I didn’t think you would like malls..” 

Griffin frowned a little. Malls were gross, he had discovered. “I do not like malls. But Paperboy said they were.. enjoyable to him, so I am here.” He gestured a little to behind him, even if he never actually turned to see if Paperboy was where he pointed. Welp. Bruce could guess.

“Paperboy?” Bruce repeated, sounding confused as he looked over to where their table had been. “Oh! Billy, the paperboy- right- right. Uhm. Well- do you guys wanna join us?” 

That got Bruce’s friends attention, one of them audiobably making a noise. “Hauh?”

“We were just about to eat anyway, but uh- we could always merge groups..or.. something. If you guys are okay with that, of course!” Bruce smiled, tilting his head. Griffin considered it, even if there wasn’t much to consider. 

“I don’t know if we-” Bruce’s friend tried to speak up, but Griffin had ended up interrupting them.

“I don’t think Paperboy would mind.” Oops. He didn’t really feel sorry though. 

Bruce somehow managed to smile harder. He started to bounce off his toes again. Griffin was starting to think he just did that when he was happy. “Sweet! I’ll just uh- I’ll pull you guys a chair, hold on.”

Griffin nodded slightly, turning to see if he could spot Paperboy. 

It was easy, considering Paperboy was already making his way over. 

“Soo are we just staying over here?” Paperboy asked, sounding amused. “I didn’t know you were friends with these guys.” 

Griffin buffered a few seconds before he found an answer. “I am friends with Bruce.” He corrected, watching as Bruce pulled in two extra chairs next to what looked like his.

“That makes sense.” Paperboy smiled, nodding at Bruce before he sat down. “Thanks.” 

Bruce still looked like a bundle of happiness, sitting down in his other chair. “It’s really no problem! I haven’t seen Griff’ in a while anyway.” 

“Really? I figured you two had a class together or somethin’.” Paperboy opened his box, revealing some.. noodles and chicken(?). Griffin really didn’t know. He sat down in between the two boys anyway. 

Bruce chuckled a little, smiling still. “We don’t. Well- not technically.” 

Griffin blinked, zoning out a little as they talked. Just.. observing. He did get a bit distracted, though. Specifically by the baseball keychain that Bruce had on his backpack. 

Paperboy and Bruce seemed to get along. Which.. made sense. The two seemed to have similar personalities. At least, Griffin thought so. 

Bruce’s other friends weren’t as nice as Bruce’s other-other friends that Griffin had seen before.. Bruce needed less friends- he had too many for Griffin to memorize. 

Anyway. These friends kept giving him weird looks. So, Griffin decided he would give them weird looks too. Weird looks as in stare at them with a blank expression, without blinking, till they got creeped out. Which wasn’t really that big of a ‘weird’ look, but Griffin could stare for hours without changing expressions once. He managed to creep them out after a while. Neither Paperboy or Bruce seemed to notice, which made Griffin feel just a little extra proud of himself. 

“Hey, Bruce?” One of the guys spoke up, struggling to break eye contact with Griffin. He looked a little off-put. Hah. There were a lot more things that were more unnerving than Griffin. 

“Hrm?” Bruce looked up from his conversation with Paperboy, blinking a few times. “Did you need me? Sorry- I didn’t mean to exclude anybody.” He chuckled, looking guilty again. Griffin didn’t know why. 

“No- you’re fine, man, We just needa leave soon. Uh.. do you wanna come, or..?” The man’s eyes had flickered between Bruce and Griffin awkwardly. Griffin purposefully went back to his dead face. It was funny how they reacted. 

“Oh, uhm..” Bruce nervously looked back towards Griffin and Paperboy, like they were the deciding factor. Uh.

“We’re gonna stay here for a little while. I’m gonna show Griffin the bookstore in here.” Paperboy happily informed. “But uh, if you wanna go back, it’s cool either way.” 

“You should come with us.” Griffin said in a monotone voice, but he was actually quite happy with that idea. He enjoyed both Paperboy and Bruce’s company. It would be.. nice if he could hang out with both of them at once. 

“Well..” Bruce hesitately, looking back up at his other friends. “Are you guys okay if I stay here?” 

“Yeah, man. It’s wha’ever.” One of them waved it off, already standing up to get his things together. 

“Okay.” Bruce sounded giddy again, and Griffin could hear his feet tapping again. 

This was going to be fun.

—

“Aa…”

“A butterfly, Griff’. A..bauh-ter-f-ly.” Bruce pronounced it out as he pointed at the different letters in the book. Picture book, to clarify. It was one about caterpillars turning into butterflies, apparently. Griffin felt a little silly- he couldn’t remember how to read much. Or write. Or.. count. Lots of things. But it wasn’t that important on his list of important things. Like not dying. 

“A butterfly.” Griffin repeated, to which Bruce happily nodded. He looked back up, talking to Paperboy while Griffin did his best to read. 

“So.. how’ve you been since sixth grade, huh?” Paperboy asked, teasing. “Feels like it’s been forever since.. y’know.”

A.. bauh..ter..fly. F..flow? Hauh? Oh- that was an E, right? E.. e..e..e. What word had an E..Oh. A butterfly flew. Right.. he knew that.

“Pretty good.” Bruce chuckled a little, awkward. “Haven’t played as much pinball as I used to.”

Paperboy laughed. “Hah. I bet! You started avoiding the Grab-N-Go like the plague after that.. I remember. Vance was so pissy for a while.” 

A..butterfly..flew.. uh… Griffin knew the first letter, at least. Uhm..

“When is Vance not pissy?” Bruce asked, but sounded hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he could make that joke. Griffin tugged at his shirt again. “Hm?” Bruce looked down, already acceptant of his role of a translator. Griffin pointed to the word he couldn’t quite pronounce. “Oh. That’s past. P-ah-ss-t.” 

..Griffin felt his brows contort a little in confusion. “..Past is.. before? Not.. by.” 

Bruce seemed happy to explain. Griffin was sitting on the floor beside Bruce’s mini wooden chair, and Paperboy was sitting on a beanbag across from them. “Yeah- it does mean uh, ‘before’ in your words, but it can also be used instead of ‘by’ or ‘beyond’. So it’s kind of just like a different way of saying it flew by the flower, yeah?” 

“Oh.” Griffin blinked at the sentence a few times, before nodding anyway. “Okay.” He still didn’t get it.

Paperboy coughed, gathering their attention. “Did you not learn how to read, Griffin?” 

Griffin considered the question. He had no idea, as per usual. “Did you learn how to read?” He asked. That was probably a safe bet. 

“Yeah. As did almost all children in Denver." Paperboy half joked with a nod. 

Griffin nodded back. “Then I did. Probably.” He went back to looking down at his book as Paperboy and Bruce gave each other a weird look. Eugh. What was with people and weird looks?

Griffin went back to his book, doing his best to read it.

The drawing on the page was a bunch of butterflies flying around a field.. Griffin blinked slowly, tracing the biggest one on the page. Well- it was the smallest, but it was the.. focus of the page. 

Butterflies… butterfly.. he remembered those. He didn’t remember why. He..

“That’s a park, isn’t it?” Paperboy asked, peeking over the page. He had knocked Griffin out of his fog. Mostly.

Griffin blinked once as he looked up. “...I think so..”

“Awwgh- sweet. Dude, I haven’t been to a park in like.. months. Or maybe a year.”

“Really?” Bruce blinked, eyes sparkling. “I go almost every day. To practice for games ‘n stuff.”

“Ohh.. that makes sense. Yeah.” Paperboy nodded, thinking. Well.. it looked like he wasn’t really thinking, just.. pretending to so it looked normal. “Hey- we should go to the park! Just like- a thought- y’know.”

Bruce looked so excited Griffin thought he would explode into glitter. That was a thing, right?

—

“Oh my god there’s dandelion-” Bruce had already run off, going to do.. whatever he did here. Griffin wasn’t sure. Paperboy had convinced Griffin to sit on a ‘swing’. Griffin didn’t like not being able to control his ability to touch the ground, but he enjoyed the wind. And Paperboy’s company.

“Is he always this.. happy-go-lucky around you?” Paperboy asked, looking over at Griffin. Well. Sort of. You couldn’t exactly turn and look in these things. 

“What.” He had no idea what he was referring to. Griffin was eyeing a butterfly that had been flying around the place, never seeming to drift too far away. Griffin felt familiarity spike up again. 

Bruce was collecting the.. flowers he had found now.

“Well- Uah- not to be mean or anything, but Bruce is kind of.. he’s.. he’s friend’s with everybody, y’know?”

Griffin was more confused. “Friend is.. friend is good.” He was starting to believe that, anyway.

“Yeah- yeah of course. But like.. he’s kind of friends with some.. doushy people, y’know? Some of ‘em, anyway. And he’s.. said a few things..”

“...like what?” He asked, not peeling his eyes from the butterfly as it flew closer. It gave him a weird feeling in his physical body.. physical body? Or was it mental? Griffin couldn’t tell. 

“Err..” Paperboy trailed off first, like he wasn’t sure what to say. When he started to speak again, Bruce interrupted. 

“Griff’! Do you want this flower crown?” He asked, smiling. He was holding a.. weird circle made of flowers put together. It was a distraction. 

Griffin stared at the odd thing, and then at Bruce’s cheerful face. He could feel his swing start to slow. “...Okay.” He wasn’t really sure he actually wanted it, but he’s pretty positive it would make Bruce happy.

“Cool! Cool cool cool cool cool.. let me just..” Bruce trailed off, walking over to them. He hummed, waiting for Griffin’s swing to completely stop before he walked over.

Griffin blinked, keeping still as to not mess with whatever Bruce was doing. The boy slowly put it down into his hair for some reason, adjusting. 

Griffin felt his senses spike just slightly. He couldn’t figure out why yet.

“Oh- noo some of them blew away..” Bruce mored, but didn’t seem too upset. He was still smiling.

Paperboy snickered, swinging a bit higher. “Dudeee.. I forgot about flower crowns.”

“They’re actually pretty easy to make-!” Griffin zoned out Paperboy’s and Bruce’s argument, looking around. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the bad feelings he got. 

Oh.

Oh. 

Oh.

The van. That was the bad feeling. The van. Griffin felt like his heart had both stopped and gotten far too alive all at once, he could feel too much. Feel feel feel he didn’t want to feel the world it was too much. Too too much. The van. The van. 

“Griffin?” Paperboy had called him. Paperboy- he- they- they needed to leave. “You okay?”

Words. Words words words. Those were important. He needed to speak, but his throat wouldn’t move.

“Van.” 

“Wha?”

Bruce seemed to freeze, like he remembered, like he knew. Yes. Van. Bad. Bad bad bad.

“Shi-oot. Uah- do you wanna leave, Griff’?” Bruce asked, doing a poor job at trying to keep calm.

“What? Why are we-?”

The second Griffin nodded Bruce was already helping him off the swing, gesturing for Paper to follow.

The butterfly was back in his eye sight. Wherever Bruce was leading him, it was leading them there too.

Bruce and Paperboy were talking. It was just endless noise to Griffin- like the static of the dead, or the moist touch of a cloudy fog. It reached him, just not enough to stay with him.

The van. The van. That stupid, ugly van. It was the worst thing Griffin’s ever seen. The image of it in his head made him want to puke. Van. Van van van. Stupid van. Bad van. Awful van.

Deadly van. 

He was going to die, wasn’t he? Griffin wasn’t strong. He wasn’t smart. He wasn’t- he wasn’t fast. He was going to die, and end up repeating all of it all over again. All of the screams and the tears and the begs and the- the terrifying games and watching boy after boy end up in that awful hell alone and scared and, eventually, dead. Scared. Scared. They were all scared, weren’t they? Paperboy had been scared, Vance had been scared, Bruce had been scared, Robin had been scared. Finney had been scared. It never changed. The loop was endless. The loop. It was just going to loop, wasn’t it? 

They were all going to die. Again. Again. Again and again and again. And Griffin could do nothing but watch. 

Griffin knew he wasn’t ever going to have a future. That was just the way it worked, didn’t it? He would never be enough to stop it. 

He was just reliving the horror. The horror and the horror. Maybe he didn’t come back to save them. Maybe the world just decided Griffin Stagg didn’t deserve to be free. He didn’t deserve to live, even if he was alive. He didn’t even get to survive. All he could do was watch. Like he watched in that basement. Watched all of it. He wanted to forget, but he could never remember either. 

“Griff’?”

Bruce’s alive voice swam through his fog of thoughts. Griffin didn’t want to move. But he had been, hadn’t he? They were somewhere new. A street that was familiar that he didn’t remember. 

Griffin couldn’t find his voice yet. He just nodded slightly.. he wasn’t even sure what had happened. 

His face was wet. Ee-yuck. Griffin wasn’t sure how he hadn’t realised it before, but he didn’t like how it felt now. 

He forced his soul to use his body again and maneuvered his hand to wipe his face, sniffling slightly. Using the body felt like how it felt when he first got here- too heavy and too much all at once. He could feel his blood and liver and lungs and all the muscles in his fingers as he pressed them against the squishy skin on his face.. eeugh.

“You okay?” Bruce asked, voice softer than it usually was. Oh. Griffin’s other hand was still holding onto Bruce’s wasn’t it?

..what had he said? Griffin couldn’t think.. okay? Okay? Griffin didn’t know what okay meant in his head. He wasn’t.. good. But he wasn’t dying yet, so he wasn’t bad either. Okay was a.. medium, right?

“Mhm..” Griffin nodded slowly, finally making eye contact with the boy. “Okay.. I am okay.”

Bruce nodded back, taking slow steps. “You wanna go to the Grab-N-Go?” He offered, like he had already assumed that would make Griffin feel better. Which.. maybe it did.

“Mrhm..” Griffin nodded again, looking over at Paperboy. He was staying quiet, but looked a little uncomfortable. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself. Griffin understood. 

“Cool! Cool cool cool cool..” Bruce trailed off, giving Griffin another weird, worried look before he continued to wherever he had been leading them.

Griffin took the chance to mentally become dead again and take a deep break from the world.. then he’d feel better, he’s sure.

Eventually, they got to the place.

Robin and Vance were inside. Vance wasn’t a surprise, but Robin was.. new. 

Bruce looked more awkward now than before once they had gotten inside. Paperboy had immediately run up and tackled Robin. They were quite noisy here too, like they were in the car. Well. Paperboy was. 

“What the- Billy-? Why are you her-”

“RAHHH-” Paperboy seemed to be getting his payback for earlier, using the element of surprise. He was using.. some form of strength that Griffin wasn’t even sure Paperboy had, and was going in circles to get Robin knocked to the floor. It was.. kind of working, somehow. The three boys, because Vance was there too even if he wasn’t actively fighting, easily slipped into a ritual of sorts.

Bruce, for once, slipped into the background. He looked nervous just being here. This obviously wasn’t his typical setting, and Griffin felt kind of saddened just watching him. So he stepped up beside the boy, racking all of his brain for some sort of conversation to keep Bruce himself and not weird and moppy.

“Oh- hey, Griff..! Sorry just uh..” Bruce smiled politely, like he was defaulting back to what was safe and familiar. “Zoned out, I guess.. haha.. Hah.” His laughter didn’t sound very cheerful.

Uhh.. think. Think. Think. Death? Noo people didn’t get happy from that thought like Griffin did. Uhm.

“Do you want. Mango. Popsicles?" Griffin asked, worded like it was a very serious question. Bruce blinked a few times, before he grinned. 

“Sure! I need a treat, anyway. All this walking as me wore out, hah. Uhh..” He trailed off, eyeing the freezers that were right next to where the trio were. Oh. Bruce did not want to go over there. Griffin could understand that. He didn’t want to go near loud places either- like the cafeteria. Or a Mall. He didn’t really want to do that again.. but the library was fun. Still. 

“Do not fret.” He stumbled a little, walking on his tippytoes. Griffin was finding that he could move a lot faster and quieter like that. 

He did a semi circle around the brawl going on in the floor, Robin now on top of Paperboy and scrambling to keep Paperboy from rolling over. 

Griffin had come to a new problem. Where did they keep the Mango Popsicles? Hmm.. Griffin did a sweep over of all the freezers, looking through the glass to find one. He kind of forgot the trio could see him.

“You brought Griffin with you?” Robin sounded offended, but the distraction got him thrown to the side, and Paperboy hopped up before Robin could tug him back down. They were both panting a little. They sure did get into fights a lot.

“Yeah. We went to the mall.. Griffin didn’t know what a mall was! Or a Library. Or what a toothbrush was. Or deodorant. It was crazy..” Paperboy stepped over Robin, stumbling a little to get beside Griffin.

Robin’s face scrunched up. “Wait- wait. He didn’t know what-?”

 “What’re you looking for?” Paperboy asked, chipper as he beamed down at Griffin like he didn’t look like he just had a tumble with the wind. 

Griffin blinked, looking back at the frozen treats. It was a very serious task. “Bruce and I want Mango Popsicles. It’s very important. 

“Oh.” Paperboy blinked, before smiling. “Yes, very important, Griffin. Uhh, I think they’re like… uhhh.. well, fuck.” Paperboy put his hands on his hips, squinting. “Well, damn. I actually.. have no clue. Uhmm..”

“They’re right here, you dipshits.” Vance finally spoke up, opening one of the freezer sliding doors and pulled out two Mango Popsicles and threw them. 

Unlike Paperboy or Robin, Griffin just stood there as the popsicles hit his chest and fell into the floor. He felt a small frown tug at his face as he stared at Vance. “Why did you do that? It was very rude. Rude.” Vance didn’t look very bothered, and just brushed it off with a shrug.

Robin sighed from his place on the floor, grabbing the popsicles and stuffing them in Griffin’s hands as he crawled up. “Someone needs to teach you how to catch, dude.” He deadpanned at Griffin, before his brain finished processing. “You and Bruce? Bruce who?” 

Griffin just stared at his popsicles, mourning. One of them is cracked now. He felt saddened.

“Ohh yeah! Bruce Yamada was at the mall today! He had his own group, but uh, apparently Griffin and him ‘re like buddies or something? More than he was with that group anyway. But yeah-! Uhh- he’s here. Now. We’re hangin’ out today.” Paperboy gestured to Bruce. 

Griffin watched as all three heads turned to Bruce’s direction.

 Bruce, who immediately froze, before awkwardly waving with a kind smile. 

Robin’s head snapped over to Paperboy so fast it looked painful. “You brought the golden boy here. To. Hangout. Are you stupid?” 

Paperboy looked offended, giving a glance to Vance before back to Robin. “Yeah? So? He’s a nice guy, man, and it’s not like he’s done anything against you. Well..okay. But I don’t think he meant it like that, man-”

“How else do you mean it, you dummy-”

Griffin ignored them, zooming past on his tippy toes to get to Bruce. He held out the popsicles like an offering. “One of them has broken.” He said, even if it wasn't technically an apology, it felt like one. 

“I see that!” Bruce chuckled, before grabbing the broken one. He looked nervous still, but seemed to be avoiding looking at the Trio behind them who were very loud in their talks. “I’ll take the broken one, yeah? I’m not a big fan of mango, anyway.” 

“Oh.” Griffin blinked, before nodding. “Okay.” 

A stranger let out a cough from somewhere, and it made Griffin flinch and turn. Oh. It was only the Cashier.. Griffin remembered dead Vance remembering the woman before. 

“You can pay over here, Sirs.” She informed, having a weirdly polite voice. It sounded fake, so it was confusing. Almost as confusing as her words. 

“Pay?” Griffin repeated, feeling lost. Pay what? Pay for what?

She looked unamused, but kept a smile. It looked like the smile Bruce had when he was with his other friends. “For the popsicles, Sir? We take cash only..?”

Griffin felt his brows start to furrow. He didn’t like this woman. Vance had talked about her all the time- about how she was a snitch. Griffin wasn’t sure how, but it was clear she wasn’t trusted. Also.. Griffin hadn’t used cash… ever. Uhm..

“Have you ever thought about if you would care about the cost of these popsicles if you died-”

Bruce coughed, choking on his spit. Griffin immediately turned, worried the boy had swallowed something or something. Bruce grabbed something out of his pocket, and grabbed out a twenty dollar bill. 

“I’ll- I’ll just pay, Griffin. It’s no big deal.” Bruce reassured, handing the lady the bill with a mumbled apology. Griffin didn’t know why he was apologizing, but didn’t comment on it. 

Griffin took a moment to look at the three by the pinball machine. It was odd. The three were acting like staring ducks, overly curious. Then, they would turn and whisper to each other, and repeat. It was very obvious they were talking about Bruce. If Griffin could tell, Bruce sure could. 

Bruce awkwardly walked back to where Griffin was standing, quietly opening his popsicle.

“Robin, just listen to me-”

“He’s a fucking asshole, Billy. You were there when he-” 

“They are talking about you.” Griffin informed, frowning slightly. He did not like that.

“Hm?” Bruce blinked at Griffin, before smiling again as he waved it off. “Oh- yeah. I guess they are.” 

..

The words were stupid. Bruce was being stupid. “Are you not upset?” Griffin asked, pointingly. He didn’t understand why Bruce was being odd about this. 

“Uhm..” Bruce shrugged a little. “Yeah. But you can’t really do anything about it, Griff’. Even if I do wish they’re uhm.. not do.. that. Those three talk a lot, so..” He chuckled, taking another bite of his popsicle. Who bit a popsicle? Weren’t you supposed to lick it?

Griffin considered the boy’s words, though. Griffin was feeling very.. living today. Maybe it was just the weather, or being around other living people. Still, he didn’t like them talking about Bruce like that. Bruce was a very nice guy. Griffin would know- he was nice even after death. That was.. your core had to be nice to pull that off.

Robin was upsetting Bruce. Robin was being mean to Bruce.

Griffin thought about the basement. About when Robin was teaching Finney how to aim and hit with the phone.

…

Thwack!

“Ow-!” Robin rubbed at his hair, turning around. He shot Griffin a glare, but looked confused. “What was that for?” He stared down at the popsicle that was now on the floor, and back to Griffin. 

Bruce looked shocked, and held back a small giggle behind his hand. It made Robin glare a little harder.

“You’re upsetting Bruce.” 

Bruce suddenly got really quiet, looking away. The boy quite literally turned in the opposite direction like the wall was the most interesting thing in the room. Maybe it was. Griffin had done a lot of wall staring- it wasn’t all that bad after a while.

Robin just furrowed his brows, and all three boys- Vance included this time- turned to stare at Bruce. It was kind of funny.

“Well- well, It really wasn’t that big of a deal, Griff’.” Bruce weakly argued, but considering he still wasn’t looking at anybody, it didn’t land very well. Still, it confused Griffin. Deeply. He turned his head to Bruce.

“But you said you wanted them to-”

“Sshshhssshh. I wasn’t- that. That wasn’t something I actually meant, Griff’.” Bruce finally looked at Griffin, mostly just to make sure he actually shut up. Griffin was still very, very confused. 

“Hauh?” Griffin just stood there for a moment, before deciding Bruce was just being silly. “Well, they stopped. It worked.” 

“I.. Sure, Griff. That’s not exactly.. what I was asking for, but.. sure.” Bruce went back to eating his popsicle while staring at the floor. His face was red now. Wonder why that was.

“What.” Robin was the first one to speak up, making Griffin turn back to that little group.

Vance made a huff noise, and he looked amused. Like something was funny. Paperboy looked like he was seconds from blowing up in laughter. 

“I personally think we should just accept Bruce as part of the group, you guys.” Paperboy jokingly offered, grinning like it was the funniest thing he’s seen all week. “I’m sure it’d make everybody really happy, aha.” 

“Shut up, Billy.” Vance pushed the boy a little, it didn’t seem that hard, but Paperboy flopped himself against the wall like had been slammed.  

Robin glared at him, before taking a deep, deep breath. “Y’know what? Fine. Sure. If you guys just wanna ignore what happened, go right ahead.” 

Griffin felt even more confused. It was almost too much to handle without getting overwhelmed. What had happened? Why were they acting so weird?

Paperboy grinned, hopping over. He ruffled Bruce’s hair, before dragging the boy over to where the rest of them were. Griffin tiptoed after. 

Bruce looked nervous, and naturally seemed to hover by Vance. Griffin followed after him, staring at the two boys. Vance just looked amused. 

“Wanna play some Pinball, you doofus?”

“Holyyy shit, Vance! Bruce is gonna beat your score!” Paperboy was standing on his tippy toes, standing behind Robin, using the boy’s shoulder as an arm rest. He looked like he was having the best day of his life. Again. 

“No he’s not.” Vance deadpanned, hovering behind Bruce and Griffin, but he seemed to be starting to doubt his own words just slightly. 

Griffin blinked from his place on the other side of the machine, staring at the gameplay more than the score. Bruce was.. really good, he’s pretty sure. Griffin wasn’t sure what the joy of it was, but it looked complicated enough. Dead Vance never really mentioned anything other than the score, the score, and the score. 

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” Bruce repeated for the third time, gaining an awkward smile. He seemed to have reverted back to some weird, repetitive mode. Griffin didn’t like it, no.

They just kind of all stayed like that for a while. Paperboy seemed to talk the most, but Griffin stayed focused on Bruce and his game mostly.

“Dudee we should all hang out tonight!” Paperboy suggested, smug. Griffin nodded along. He kind of had to do anything Paperboy did. Not that he really minds.

“..Alright.” Robin didn’t seem to care either, shrugging with his hands in his pocket. He seemed to be in his own head at the moment. 

Vance seemed to already accept his fate. Griffin was starting to understand that he was the designated driver for everything.. since he was the only driver. 

“Oh- I can’t. Sorry.” Bruce said kindly, going back to staring off into the distance and assumingly zoning out. Griffin got it. He liked zoning out. Being dead was kind of like a giant zone out. 

Griffin still wanted him to go though. He frowned at the idea of Bruce going home by himself. “Why?”

“My room’s on the second floor, and my dad has cameras all over.. I’d have to literally climb out my window like I’m in a movie, man… that’s like, not how sneaking out actually works. I’m ninety nine percent sure.” Bruce defended, but looked a little anxious again.

Robin and Paperboy both got a weird look on their face, and Paperboy grinned.. It was not one that Griffin liked.

Bruce’s face shifted from his go-to smile- and he looked just slightly terrified.

“...No. Dude. I am not actually climbing out my window like a movie. You two are crazy. That’s insane. I’m not doing that.”

—

“Agsh-agagh- this is such a bad idea, such a bad idea- I should go back-”

“Bruce you are dangling outside your window, there is no back. Either jump down here or just.. just.. Jump down here. No seas cobarde.”

Griffin watched, feeling a smile tug on his face at the scene. Bruce was holding onto his upstairs window for dear life, terrified as could be. Robin was underneath him, ready to catch if Bruce dropped despite his frustration. Vance was hovering behind him, like he didn’t quite trust Robin’s ability. 

Griffin and Paperboy were just watching from the sidelines, but Paperboy kept looking around like he was prepared to call out if somebody came by. Most likely Bruce’s father, but it eased Griffin’s mind that somebody would notice if the evil man was nearby. 

“Sshi-oot.” Bruce took a deep breath, and honestly looked like he was praying to no one in particular before he took a leap of faith and let go. Robin cursed under his breath, but managed to half catch the boy. He let him go immediately after he made sure Bruce wasn’t gonna fall. 

Bruce froze while standing there, physically buffering. He did that a lot. Before he started to make noises under his breath, flapping his hands a little. “Oh my god. Oh my god I’m gonna die. I’m so gonna die-” 

“You won’t die.” Vance deadpanned, taking one of his hands out of his pocket to push Bruce to move with the rest of the group. Oh- they were walking- Griffin quickly hopped up to fall back in step with Paperboy. 

“I’m so, totally gonna die. My dad’s gonna kill me. I’m so screwed.” Bruce was ranting to himself, not really focused on where they were going. “My dad could walk into my room, or we could run into weirdos, or someone could get hurt, or-” 

“None of that’s gonna happen.” Vance reassured, not really listening to Bruce anymore, like this was a daily occurrence for him. Griffin didn’t remember Bruce ever freaking out. Well- alive Bruce.

Griffin drifted back a little, figuring he could reassure him. “If someone does approach you, I will deal with it.” Bruce gave him a look that said he didn’t believe him- honestly, all of them did, but Griffin was serious. He knew how to at least semi-live the basement by now, Bruce did not. He’d rather die than let any of them get stuck back in there again. 

“Thanks, Griff’.” Bruce thanked him, but he immediately freaked out again after. Griffin frowned slightly. Bruce didn’t get it. 

“I would die before you had to worry for your safety.” Griffin admitted, serious. He needed Bruce to understand he would at least be better off than if Griffin wasn’t here. 

Bruce got quiet, and Griffin finally noticed that so had the rest of the group. Well- sort of. 

“Dude?” Paperboy grinned a little, but still looked a bit shocked. He turned, walking backwards so he could talk to Griffin. “You can’t just say that casually.”

Griffin blinked a few times, staring back at him. Robin looked a little scared, and Vance’s face was.. Griffin couldn’t tell what he was feeling. 

“I would.” Griffin shrugged a little, not really caring. It was just a fact- their survival was the only reason Griffin had even talked to them. Not that he wasn’t starting to enjoy their.. friendship. “I’d die before any of you would have to worry. It’s just practical.”

“Practical?” Robin sounded mad again somehow, glaring. “That’s not practical, Mister Madre Teresa.” He said the term sarcastically, like it was a bad thing. Griffin wasn’t sure what the term meant. “That’s just stupid.”

“Well- don’t.. don’t be mean about it, Robin.” Bruce muttered, looking a bit like he wasn’t sure what to do with the information he was given. “That’s.. sweet. In a way. But it’s not necessary, Griff’. Never.” Bruce explained, doing his best to keep the peace with a smile. 

“Sweet?” Robin sounded angry, and stopped walking for a moment before he was forced to pick it back up to stay with the group. “That’s not sweet, that’s-”

Vance finally spoke up, interrupting Robin’s very.. frustrated sounding start. “You aren’t dying for anybody, dumb fuck.” He crossed over, carefully going behind Bruce and back up so he was walking in between the two of them.

Griffin frowned. “I would.” He repeated. He needed them to understand.

“I know you would.” Vance said, slower than normal like he was teaching a class. “But you don’t need to. We’re all safe here, aren’t we?” 

Griffin frowned, shuffling a little as he walked. No, no they weren’t safe. They wouldn’t be safe for a while. But.. with all of them here.. they could probably take on the Evil Man. So.. Griffin slowly nodded . “Yes..”

“So there’s no need for any talk about dyin’, ’kay? We’re just walking to Billy’s house to have some fun. No more death talk.” Vance explained before he paused.

“Billy, you walked past the fuckin’ turn we were supposed to turn at.”

The boy wiped around, like he was finally observing his surroundings. “Oh shi’. I did, didn’t I. Uhh.. Alright group! We’re going this way now!” He took a dramatic turn so they were walking across the road, all just to turn around to walk back down the road they had just walked on, just in a different direction. 

—

Paperboy’s mom wasn’t too happy that her son came home with three unprompted children, not counting Griffin who was expected, but she accepted them anyway. Especially when Bruce started crying. 

That hadn’t been all that fun.

Now, they were all squished into Paperboy’s room. Paperboy was forcing them all into a game of charades. It was kind of funny. 

Robin wasn’t a very good gesture-er though..

“A- a tree? A tornado? A pole? A- A snake?” Paperboy was fireballing it, sitting close to Griffin as he pointed. He sounded more and more confused.

“Is it a worm??” Vance asked, staring Robin up and down. He looked like he was just getting frustrated.

Bruce blinked, trying to keep a smile on his face even as his brows furrowed. Robin was a really bad gesture-er. “....Are you a rope?”

Robin aggressively shook his head, huffing. He repeated the gesture more aggressively like that would help.

“I’m..What is happening?” Griffin whispered to Paperboy, confused. He had slowly started to get the game, but.. this was just.. mind bugging.

“Robin just sucks at charades.” Paperboy loudly whispered back, making Robin stop his pose.

“I am not-”

“Ay! You aren’t supposed to talk! Cheater!” Paperboy was quick to point at him, making Robin glare. Paperboy just stuck his tongue out at him.

Ding!

Robin groaned, stepping off from their makeshift stage. “I was a fish.”

“A fish?” Vance repeated back, like he was disturbed. “That is not what a fuckin’ fish does, dude.”

“Whatever!” 

Griffin watched them, feeling more tired as the night went on.

Maybe he could ignore the future death of him and all of the people in this room. Maybe.. maybe just for tonight. Maybe then he’d sleep without any weirdly ghost dreams.

He just wished ignoring things made them disappear in the living world.