Chapter Text
Zanka is picky. It's an open fact.
Riyo and Enjin constantly joke about this, often tying it into Zanka's lineage. Gris sometimes laughs at this, though he's never seen it as a flaw. Everyone in the Cleaners has their quirks, and it's something to get used to. Zanka certainly isn't the worst example the Supporter has encountered.
Gris wouldn't say he'd started thinking differently. It's just that Zanka's demands for food had increased dramatically.
After several days, no one could satisfy his demands. He mercilessly criticized every cooking mistake: slightly overcooked vegetables, undersalted porridge, the sweetness of the tea, the improper placement of utensils, the lack of napkins or small ingredients. A veritable death sentence for the kitchen staff.
Gris is a little worried about his own health, being the next one to deliver food to the sick. He knows how to please Zanka. It's not difficult, especially if you try to be sensitive to other people's tastes. A surprising thing for Enjin.
Meticulous cooking is key to satisfying Zanka's tastes. If you do everything carefully, even if almost perfectly, the guy's face will flash with that rare tenderness and gratitude for which Gris never spared his nerves.
When Zanka first joined Cleaners, he seemed indifferent to food. He simply ate whatever was given to him, regardless of taste, texture, or smell. At the time, Supporter thought it odd. Zanka lived in a place where he had access to a variety of foods and could choose what he ate. But there was no hint of food selectivity or simple enjoyment. Just a quick consumption of food, undistracted by conversation.
Enjin didn't stay behind to observe, nor did Gris, fully aware that such behavior was unacceptable. The decision to remain silent was made for Zanka's comfort. No one wanted the boy to feel the need to report to them. It was a personal matter, he needed time to adjust to new home.
It wasn't expected that he would immediately spread his clipped wings after leaving his native nest. But it also wasn't expected that Gris would be willing to ignore his worries about Zanka. So he sighed with relief when he saw his face contorted in disgust after drinking the incredibly bitter green tea. Gris could have sworn Zanka almost spat the drink back into his cup. Riyo, seeing this, almost cried out in surprise, drawing everyone's attention to the pale-faced boy.
Zanka had no choice but to confess his dislike of certain foods, especially bitter ones. Also confessed that he didn't want to appear ungrateful by refusing to eat. That day, no one objected to Zanka's tastes, some even shared their own food aversions. Enjin's aversion to boiled eggs came as a surprise to everyone.
Things couldn't be that bad now, right? Especially when Gris had chosen the surefire option. Only thing that ever made Zanka happy.
“Is it your turn to listen to Zanka’s complaints?”
Riyo appeared silently, as always. Gris flinched at her secrecy, nearly spilling all the salt in his food. This amused Riyo, causing her lips to curl into a wry smile. Supporters would never cease to be frightened. But he wasn't angry, simply continuing to cook, confirming the girl's words. She chuckled, coming closer and examining what Zanka was having for lunch today. Or what he would throw at her.
Gris, under the intent green eyes, felt a little nervous. Job rarely allowed him the opportunity to cook, and when he did, he preferred a little privacy. Although he couldn't expect Riyo to respect his personal space. Despite her indifference to testing boundaries for the past few months, her interest had been piqued again. If it helped, Gris would overlook Riyo's actions. Even her arbitrarily throwing something into his soup while he wasn't looking.
"That's it. Zanka won't refuse this."
Gris just shook his head, already going over the options of what hated ingredient could have gotten into Zanka's food.
“Riyo, I hope it’s not pepper…”
He falls silent, watching with disbelief the mischief and amusement in Riyo's eyes. His gaze shifts feverishly from her to what's floating in the broth. Mushrooms, thankfully peeled and now simmering in the broth. Damn mushrooms. Gris could already sense the death sentence creeping up on him because of these small, unwanted bits of food. Riyo feels no compassion for the future victim, only the cheerfully humming melody of one of Too Lily's songs. Gris turns to her dejectedly, sighing heavily.
"Mushrooms."
"Butterlets."
“Butterlets…”
“Zanka will definitely be pleased.”
Gris stared at Riyo, puzzled. She said this without sarcasm, with complete confidence, without the slightest doubt of the truth of her statement. For a moment, the Supporter believed it, watching the girl's features soften. Riyo's eyelids relaxed as she carefully tucked away a stray strand of bright hair with a flick of her finger. A gentle smile, devoid of any mischief, lit up the girl's face. Although Gris was still unsure. in Riyo's decision, keeping in mind Zanka's preferences.
“You remember that he can’t even stand the sight of mushrooms?”
Riyo's smile deepened. She leaned her elbows on the table behind her. Her eyes now lit up with undisguised amusement, like children telling their parents about their day at kindergarten. Heart warmed, Gris liked seeing Riyo's joy, relaxation in her shoulders. Even if it was because of a small prank on Zanka.
“Well, I think he changed his mind. Remember when it was Rudo’s turn to feed Zanka? Well, he brought him grated horseradish! Can you imagine? Grated horseradish for our rich boy. How he screamed about how it would be better to eat poisonous mushrooms than the crap they brought him. Oh, I’m sure Zanka would have burst a vein when Rudo tried to explain his choice. I don’t know where he heard that grated horseradish helps with healing. Seriously, Zanka never threw food so aggressively.”
She chirped cheerfully, chuckling at the silly squabble between the two idiots. Gris couldn't help but laugh too, unsure whether to be amused or horrified by Rudo's culinary expertise. It wasn't hard to imagine Zanka throwing food around while Rudo couldn't figure out why the other was so displeased. Enjin had told him about it, but without the details, having been unable to extract any from either Rudo or Zanka.
Then Gris couldn't help but laugh heartily, wondering how Rudo had managed to infuriate his trainer so much. Apparently, he was about to face karma for it.
"Come on, Gris, you can't possibly do anything worse than Rudo. And even if you do... Well, then Enjin will have to sleep alone. It's unpleasant, but we'll all honor you as a hero."
Gris's hand slammed down on Riyo's head, sparing no effort and ignoring any complaints. Strands of hair were falling out of her hairstyle, and sticking out in all directions. Riyo frantically tried to fix the situation, ignoring the Supporter's flushed face. It was better that way; there was no need for her to give him any more reason to mock him. And Enjin.
Although these are small things compared to what awaits him...
“The broth is richer than it should be.”
Merciless. One must never forget the lethality of Zanka, who had almost joined the Hell Guard. Gris sighed, feeling bitterly defeated by the remark. However, he should have been glad that Zanka was still eating the soup he had prepared. And he didn't even notice the mushrooms! At least, so be it. Zanka looked calmer than the Supporter had expected. And when he looked away, coughing awkwardly into his hand, Gris barely restrained himself from petting the boy.
"But... It's not bad. Quite edible. Although there was no need to skimp on the mushrooms. These are butterlets, right?"
Gris blinked for a second before a gentle laugh escaped his lips. Nagging pressure on his chest was no longer so strong. Although the fact that Zanka wasn't against mushrooms was jarring. Are they really that good with broth?
"Yeah, Riyo added them. Glad you liked it. I'm not so old yet that I've forgotten your love for this soup."
Zanka merely smiled faintly, nodding in agreement and continuing his meal. Lovely Assistaff, oddly enough, was resting nearby on the pillow, clasped in his fingers, as if that was how it should be. Gris probably should have asked if he could move the staff to the wall and give the boy some space. But Zanka's rare serenity was infectious. Supporter had no desire to disturb this peace.
Rudo does so, at least unconsciously, entering the infirmary with a weary groan. Concentrating on his food, Zanka ignored the disturbance. Gris, however, abandoned a glance at Rudo, straightening his shoulders and starting to worry at the sight of the boy's condition.
Exhausted. Pale, with horrifyingly deep circles under his eyes, perfectly complementing pale complexion. His breathing was hoarse, as if he'd been in a tense battle rather than just getting out of bed. Gris had begun periodically checking the rooms of some of the Cleaners, so he knew how well Rudo was sleeping. At first glance, he seemed to be sleeping soundly, but now, seeing the boy's uncoordinated movements, doubts arose. It was hard to look at Rudo's tired face without feeling sorry for him.
“Rudo, are you okay?”
The answer didn't come immediately. After staring off into the distance for a few seconds, Rudo's knees buckled, hitting the floor as his head fell onto Zanka's bed. The boy's inaudible, pained sounds tore Cleaner away from his meal, but surprisingly, he didn't look displeased. Zanka looked at Rudo silently, holding a spoonful of soup over her plate. His grip on Lovely Assistaff didn't loosen for a second, quite the opposite. Zanka's behavior made her feel a little uneasy.
But Gris turned his attention to a more important problem.
"Rudo, don't kneel. If you're feeling unwell, we'll call Eishia and she'll examine you, understand?"
Helping the boy up, Gris hears a disgruntled grunt and feels a subtle resistance. Gris holds Rudo by the shoulders, afraid he might fall face-first onto the floor. Man inhales worriedly. Up close, Rudo looks much worse, like a beaten puppy.
"No need to call Eishia! I'm fine..."
Rudo muttered twitchingly, as if he'd just woken up. Rubbing his eyes sleepily, he looked around, examining the space around him and confirming he was with people he knew. Gris, though he found this action endearing, couldn't shake the uneasiness within him. Even despite Rudo's words, it seemed as if something was nagging at the boy.
“I... Well, I just...”
He hesitated for a second, driving Gris's anxiety to the limit. Nothing like that could happen, right? Everything was just starting to improve. Was it fair to put the children in danger again without even giving them time to recover? Gris would rather destroy the trash animals himself than let anyone else risk their lives. Fortunately, Rudo manages to stop Supporter's anxiety from flaring up.
“I didn’t get enough sleep.”
Gris blinks, calming down a bit, but still hesitant to let go of the other's shoulders. Rudo is clearly uncomfortable, judging by his downcast gaze. Though the boy should know that Gris wouldn't shame him for fearing the nightmare.
“Bad dream?”
Gris suggested softly, watching the gloved hands clutch the fabric of his clothes. The light crown of his head drooped even lower, beckoning to be stroked. But Gris restrained himself, feeling the gradual relaxation in the boy's shoulders. He hoped Rudo felt comfortable enough around him and, surprisingly, the silent Zanka. Perhaps he could help the boy by learning the details of his worries.
"Something like that. Just don't know, I feel weird..."
Rudo tried to sound confident, but it was hard not to notice how thoughtful he looked. Especially from his furrowed brow; perhaps he'd picked up this habit from Zanka. Gris wouldn't be surprised. But it would be better for the boy not to learn from his mentor how to keep silent about problems until he had to turn to Eishia and watch Enjin become flustered. Not all of Zanka's habits could be considered healthy.
"Nightmares can have a profound effect on us. It's okay if they make you feel uneasy."
Rudo's head snapped up, and two red eyes stared at the man. Gris often flinched when meeting that gaze, but now, a chill ran down his spine. He'd never noticed how emotionless Rudo's eyes could seem. It was frankly unsettling. Could what he'd seen in his dream have something to do with the Sphere? What if... his father was there?
“What I dreamed was not a nightmare, Gris.”
His throat felt dry. On the one hand, the tension between them was weighing on his shoulders, and he definitely didn't want to make things worse. And yet, Rudo looked extremely nervous, terribly tired and lethargic. As an adult, Gris should at least try to help the boy. Ignoring the growing fear of something unknown.
"Ah. Really? Well, dreams can be not scary, just unpleasant. You can share them with someone, discuss what you dreamed about..."
Rudo looked away. He took a breath, leaning his elbow on one of the Supporter's arms. Gris wished he could ease the boy's anxiety, even just a little.
"I... I can't. I mean, I have no idea what my dream was about. Only thing I remember were some eyes... Uh. Gray? Yeah, gray. I don't even understand what that could mean. But I feel..."
The gloved hands rise to Rudo's eye level, looking at them as if they were the answers to a question. Gris instantly panicked, because if this was related to the gloves, jinki from Watchman Series, then it was important. Extremely important.
“Anxiety. Weird anxiety, you know, when something really important just… disappears.”
Gris struggled to find the right words. But the problem was, he had no idea what they should be. Comforting? Advise, as if the Supporter knew what Rudo was feeling? And if he made it all about the gloves, would he be able to do anything? Rudo spoke of his dreams so distantly, so uncertainly. It was as if something was brewing inside him, or causing discomfort as he tried to describe the dream. Gris himself was haunted by the clear conviction that he was crossing a line. He was searching for something that had been forgotten for a reason.
The most astonishing thing was that he'd felt something similar not long ago. Just a few months ago. Semiu had been giving him details about the Doll Festival, describing what was happening there and, naturally, touching on Mymo. Gris, filled with excitement and anxiety, wanted more information about the godlike being. He hadn't expected that with every word, every letter, he'd break out in a cold sweat, suppress a trembling in his hands, and experience the distant feeling that he was dabbling in something he shouldn't have. Trying to understand something he shouldn't know.
Clang of metal is sharp, vile and too piercing for the ears.
Rudo grimaces along with Gris, letting out a groan of irritation and glaring at the source of the sound. Zanka stares back, his face extremely relaxed, not a single wrinkle of his usual expression. His eyelids are lowered, but the piercing blue of his eyes is still clearly visible beneath them. They're drawing him in. Gris winces when they close and notes, looking down at his bowl of soup, that Zanka hasn't eaten more than a couple of spoonfuls. Supporter hoped it was because he was so focused on Rudo's problem.
“Perhaps you should contact Amo.”
Zanka spoke the sentence dispassionately, but the upturned corners of his lips betrayed a hidden amusement. Rudo, who had instantly turned pink, seemed to seize up. His voice turned into a nervous squeak, greatly amusing Zanka and eliciting a quiet chuckle from Gris. The boy acted as if he'd been caught doing something inappropriate.
“Huh? Huh?!.. W-What does she have to do with it?!”
Zanka rolls eyes, snorting contemptuously. Gris feels Rudo's shoulders tremble with his fingers, and he's almost certain anger is the main reason. The boy literally seethes, clenching his fingers in a grip similar to a man's neck. Enjin might have laughed at this sight, betting twenty on Rudo to win, but Gris isn't amused at all. See, he's a responsible adult who hopes that Zanka, like a responsible teenager, won't provoke his charge any further.
"Because of her vital instrument, of course. Can evoke pleasant emotions with them, remember? It wouldn't hurt to see if she can get rid of anxiety in that case. Since our genius refuses Eishia's help."
Red eyes widened and glittered at Zanka's suggestion. Anger instantly subsided, along with the tension in Rudo's limbs. Gris felt pure relief, followed by a quiet pride that pierced his soul. Zanka chose to ignore Rudo and Supporter's gazes, feigning indifference. Gris merely chuckled, not wanting to embarrass the other with his unspoken remark about caring. Instead, it would be better to nudge Rudo toward Zanka's idea.
"It's worth a try. Amo will be glad if you ask her for help."
The boy agreed without hesitation, nodding confidently and clenching his fists, showing his determination. His blush perfectly complemented his nervous yet inspired expression. But Gris couldn't enjoy Rudo's appearance while the dark circles under his eyes were uncomfortably painful. Supporters sometimes wondered if his life could ever be calm, even ordinary.
Gris knows the answer, has known it for a long time. From the moment he joined the Cleaners, he realized the danger was inevitable. The only thing he could do as a Supporter was pray and help his comrades in their struggle. Especially children like Follo, Rudo, and Zanka, who were determined to pursue their goal no matter what.
“I think… I will. Thank you both for trying to help me… It uh… means a lot to me!”
If Gris had previously thought Enjin and Riyo were exaggerating when they talked about how terrible Rudo's smile was, now he would never utter a word against them. Zanka nearly choked on his soup, looking at the bowl as if it were garbage.
"Wonderful, Rudo. Now I've lost appetite."
…
To everyone's delight, Zanka's body returned to normal quite quickly. Organs are functioning properly, without any problems. Muscles are intact and as flexible as they were just months ago. No damage to his nervous system or brain has been documented.
For the sake of his sanity, all letters addressed to him personally from the Hell Guard were accidentally lost in transit, mixed up and sent back, or, in extreme cases, their ashes scattered outside Cleaners' territory. Gris had mixed feelings about this, but Enjin, sitting gravely by the fire with the letters in his hands, was a convincing argument.
Zanka's recovery was successful and he is now moving around the headquarters without any problems.
Eishia's contribution to this matter is undeniable, as she meticulously monitored Zanka's compliance with her prescribed regimen. Her capture of the patient attempting to sneak into the training room was particularly crucial.
And, of course, food.
Fortunately for everyone, he could now eat with everyone else in the dining hall. And even without the Lovely Assistaff, without whom he had been virtually invisible lately. Needless to say, everyone who had been responsible for bringing him food for the last couple of days breathed a sigh of relief. But not Enjin.
Seeing what was on Zanka's plate during breakfast, Gris could clearly determine the level of Enjin's agitation - colossal.
"Kid, this isn't what I think it is, is it? Tell me I'm imagining what's on your plate!"
Zanka didn't even look down at his plate. He simply raised an eyebrow, looking in bewilderment at the stunned Enjin, who couldn't even hold onto his cigarette.
"Food?"
Enjin shook head.
"Mushrooms!"
This now caught the attention of everyone at the table, especially Riyo, who was sitting next to Gris. She was intrigued, watching Zanka's expression change from complete incomprehension to something more complex, mocking. His fork abruptly plunged into a piece of mushroom, and, as if to spite Enjin, he tasted it. His expression was so thoughtful, it seemed like he was going through a complex thought process.
"It's just a matsutake. It doesn't cause hallucinations. But if you hallucinate, try not to smoke at the table."
Follo and Riyo giggled unabashedly, almost choking on their food. Enjin snorted, hearing the reproach and sarcasm directed at him. He might seem displeased, but Gris recognized the amusement in the other man's voice. He knew how happy Enjin was to hear Zanka curse, to see him finally come to his senses. But despite the joy, the nervousness remained.
“Don’t snap at your big brother, are you going to eat that or something?”
The second piece was shoved into his mouth, eliciting a surprised gasp from Enjin. It was a small challenge to see if the senior Cleaner would have the courage to continue grilling Zanka, interrupting his peaceful breakfast. Gris couldn't even be angry, he was too amused by Enjin's reaction.
“Shouldn’t I?”
“It’s just that Enjin didn’t catch you arguing with Rudo when he brought you some grated horseradish, so he’s surprised.”
Riyo can't resist butting in, earning a disgruntled glare and eye roll from Zanka. He doesn't try to defend himself or stop Riyo. He tacitly gives Enjin permission to tell her stupid story, ignoring the jabs directed at him.
Gris doesn't like Zanka's reaction. It's uncharacteristic, absurdly compliant. Supporter wouldn't blame Zanka for not wanting to argue with Enjin, of course. After all, he'd asked them many times to behave more decently, so what was he supposed to be happy about?
Riyo, who had been watching Gris sideways, unconsciously reached out to Ripper, meeting his blue eyes and pretending to be filled with nothing but mischief.
"But really, Zan, didn't you hate mushrooms these last few years? I remember you describing them as disgusting and like dish sponges."
Hand holding the fork froze. Zanka's lips turned up slightly, gaze fixed on nothing, gaze taking on the look of an elderly man nostalgically reminiscing about his life. Although, according to Riyo, Zanka always acted like a grumpy old man.
“Huh. Think about this, I just realized their usefulness.”
Before anyone at the table could ask for details, a distinctive thud on the table caught their attention. Zanka flinched, turning his neck toward Rudo, sprawled out on the spot next to him. Pointedly pushing his food away from the boy, he continued eating, ignoring the other boy's presence.
Riyo's fingers reached across the table toward the blonde's head, clearly not expecting to be interrupted by a tattooed hand. Enjin and Riyo's sharp gazes met in a silent battle, but the man never played fair with children, always intending to cheat. But both givers lost miserably to Follo. Helping Rudo raise his head and stay seated proved difficult.
But when it happened, Enjin whistled at Rudo's appearance.
"Rudo, honestly? You look like crap, man. Worse than when Gris and Follo got doused with slop by the garbage monster."
Riyo quickly picked up the topic, playfully tilting her head to the side and giving those in question a mocking smile.
"Oh! I remember how they couldn't wash themselves for a whole week. I had to keep my distance from them even while working. And how Zanka shied away from them, it's funny just thinking about it."
Gris poked the giggling Riyo and Enjin in the side, sighing in irritation at their jibes. Follo looked taken aback, covering his face with his hands in shame and apparently wishing he could sink into the ground. Zanka clicked his tongue softly, stabbing his fork into his food much more aggressively than before.
However, Gris is more concerned about Rudo's condition than about trying to make fun of him.
“Didn’t get enough sleep again?”
"Mhm."
Rudo barely manages to get out. The boy's fatigue is so severe that Follo has to support Rudo to keep his head from accidentally ending up in someone's plate.
“What does Eishia say?”
Gris's calm tone and gentle expression concealed just how agitated he was. He was trying hard to keep his emotions in check, but his clasped hands betrayed it. It took Rudo a few moments of careful consideration, leaning on Follo's shoulder, before he finally offered the doctor's conclusion.
"Stress. Something in my head. She can't help jinki. Says, maybe subconscious is trying to convey something to me. But it's too vague, which is strange. It's mine, after all, can't this be a little clearer?"
Gris shakes his head, feeling sorry for the boy. He's clearly struggling to regain his strength due to his challEnjing regimen, nearly collapsing. But something in Rudo's words troubles the Supporter. Some detail, slipping through his fingers like sand. Perhaps Gris is simply overly concerned.
“You know, Rudo, when I have bad dreams, there’s one thing that helps me. You should try it too.”
Red pupils barely peeked through the eyelids, focusing on Riyo. It looked more like a red spot in the boy's eyes, but he kept quiet about it, wanting to quickly find out what could help him get rid of the gray eyes that kept popping into his mind.
“...R-really? And what kind?”
Riyo's smile stretched from ear to ear, which made everyone at the table tense. Except, of course, for Enjin, with his signature “this is going to be fun" grin.
"Sleepover with Zanka."
The aforementioned guy choked.
“No way.”
"Ugh! How is sleeping with him supposed to help me? This is stupid..."
There was nothing good in the look Riyo gave him. Nothing at all. It was a threat. A genuine threat, coming from a skinny sixteen-year-old girl, aimed directly at the confidence of a thirty-year-old man. Her sly fox-like expression only confirmed it.
“It helps Gris and Enjin, after all.”
Now it's Gris' turn to choke, while Enjin laughs heartily.
"Ahem! Let's all keep eating! Rudo, I'll bring you breakfast, just try not to pass out, okay?"
Standing up, he ignores Follo and Rudo's shocked looks. Zanka's expression is more complex, his face unsmiling, but that doesn't stop him from looking amused by Gris's awkward situation. As for Riyo, there's no need to even mention it. Sphere, he just needs to get Rudo some food and pretend his cheeks aren't flushed.
"Hurry up, Gris! I can already see him drooling like a baby!"
…
The need for a glass of water is most acute at night. Unfortunately for Gris, who struggles to get out of bed, more than out of someone else's tight embrace. Someday, body will surely be found strangled in his sleep, someday...
He yawned as he walked down the familiar corridors. The lights were dim, but surprisingly enough to navigate the room. At least the sleepy Gris hadn't crashed into a wall yet. A victory for his brain, that was.
Supporter even managed to recognize his comrades' rooms by their doors. Almost all of them were closed, but after so long with the Cleaners, he could almost intuitively recognize whose door it was. At times, Gris was one step away from turning the handle and letting himself know everything was fine. But he didn't want to disturb someone else's sleep.
So, he just needed to go back to bed and calm down. Everything was getting better, Gris didn't need to worry about every second. And the man intended to go back to sleep. It wasn't his fault that his gaze had caught on a slightly open door.
Zanka's door.
Gris knew it was wrong. He shouldn't have intruded into the boy's personal life, despite the tingling in his fingers urging him to do so. He should have cast aside his anxiety and walked on, Supporter.
But
Zanka never left the door ajar.
Not a centimeter.
And now, suddenly, at night, when the entire headquarters is asleep, his room isn't off-limits? This makes Gris terribly uneasy.
He'll just take a look. Nothing else. Just a quick glimpse, all he needs is to see Zanka in bed.
And he sees Zanka. He looks at Zanka.
And he feels his chest lighten. The heaviness in his muscles disappears.
Zanka slouches, bending over the body on his bed. His shoulders are no longer tense. Strands of hair fall over his face, almost obscuring it from Gris's view. Only a tiny smile is visible even in the darkness around him.
One of his palms is buried in a shock of white hair. His fingers delicately comb through the strands, their movements filled with a special trepidation and care that doesn't seem to belong to Zanka at all. But it's just a feeling, Gris is unaccustomed to seeing the boy like this, especially towards Rudo. That's all.
But he has no doubt, in front of him is Zanka.
There's no need to guess, one glance at the Lovely Assistaff, clutched in his grip, is enough. Only Zanka could hold her so tenderly, so close, and yet so tightly. Right next to him. Right there in bed, as if giving her another place would be an unforgivable audacity. The explanation Zanka himself gave when Gris asked about sleeping with the jinki.
And now this boy lets Rudo sleep in his bed, next to the Lovely Assistaff. He pulls the other boy's body closer to his own, letting the boy's hands cling to him, not like a pillow. He lets the other boy's skin touch the wood of his staff, without any visible anger. Rudo closes his eyes in his sleep, muttering something, but only briefly. Zanka's caresses are clearly bearing fruit.
Supporter can't help but smile tenderly. It seems he could watch this all night. But his brain tells him to hurry back to bed, noting that it's best not to disturb the two boys.
As he steps away, Gris notices a gray spot out of the corner of his eye. It's only for a second, but his body quickly freezes. He slowly looks around, shuddering now from the mere flickering of the lights, while that moment flashes through his mind. He feels completely cornered, with no escape options. Only the inevitable tearing of his body apart by something or someone very close.
Gris frantically approached Zanka's door, checking to see if he and Rudo were okay. His heart was pounding wildly, and fear was pounding his skull, making his hands tremble.
But everything's fine. Rudo and Zanka are still in the room, and nothing's happened to them. Everything's back to normal. Or was everything normal anyway? Did Gris just imagine it?
Yes... Yes, most likely.
It just seemed that way. Nothing more. The supporter is starting to get delirious from lack of sleep.
Of course, that's the explanation. Something creepy always seems to happen at night.
He just needs to go back to bed. Relax. Let himself know everything is okay.
And make sure Rudo got some sleep with Zanka, of course.
…
In the morning, it seemed as if nothing had happened during the night. Cleaners were busy with their morning chores. Enjin was one of those still drowsy, waiting for Gris to put on his shoes.
And how happy the Supporter was to see Rudo on his way to the dining hall. The boy looked better, much better. At least he was standing firmly on his feet. Circles under his eyes were still visible, but otherwise, Rudo looked... normal. Thanks to sleeping with Zanka. Gris really wanted to tease the boy about it, which he basically did. He expected the other's embarrassment, his denial.
And then the Supporter flinched, meeting the bewilderment in the red eyes.
"What are you talking about, Gris? I was sleeping in my room."
He wanted to laugh. Not because Rudo's words were funny, but because he looked so serious. His words rang true, and the boy's expression remained calm, his brows slightly furrowed. Nausea rose in Gris's throat.
"That can't be. Yesterday, when I was passing Zanka's room, I saw you there. Don't you remember?"
Rudo didn't think twice about his answer. He didn't notice the Supporter's growing anxiety. He was too glad to have a normal night's sleep, without the vague memory of those gray eyes.
"No? Well, all I remember is that I fell asleep in my bed and woke up in it. Nothing more. And I definitely didn't leave my room."
Words caught in his throat, his attempts to utter them futile. In the end, the Supporter merely nodded meekly, trying not to upset Rudo with his behavior. He walked quickly, his gaze fixed on the floor, lost in thought about what had just happened.
Had he really just dreamed it? Or imagined it? Was he so worried about Rudo that he was confusing the dream with reality? Deep breath. He needed to pull himself together. Getting nervous about something like this was unreasonable, and perhaps Rudo really was simply too tired to remember anything from the night. But Zanka would definitely remember. He was too meticulous to forget.
“Hey, Zanka! Morning!”
“Hmm? Gris? Something wrong? You look nervous.”
Zanka's remark, sleepily rubbing his eyes, unsettled him slightly. Gris hadn't realized his condition was so noticeable. He wasn't at all happy to worry his comrades over something vague he couldn't even describe. Especially not Zanka, a boy who had only recently returned to normal life. Gris couldn't afford to give him cause for concern. He simply needed to know the answer to one question.
"No, no. It's fine! It's just... This might sound weird, but... Rudo spent the night at your place last night, right?"
And here it is. Now Zanka will confirm it. And Gris will be freed from the unknown anxiety inside, and a sense of normalcy will return.
"What makes you think that? I wouldn't let that brat take a Lovely Assistaff place on my bed."
Guy doesn't expect a response from the Supporter. He turns and walks away, leaving a frozen Gris alone to digest what he'd said for long minutes. And then, quietly, he laughs at the absurdity of his worries. It would be nice to know why his brain decided to panic over such a trivial situation. But it seems that after receiving Zanka's answer, it became easier to breathe. Freer. Heaviness in his body disappeared, along with the bitter lump in his throat. Now Gris definitely feels calm. Now, everything is definitely normal.
“Oh, haha and… It’s true. It was… It’s just a dream. Yeah. Just a dream. Nothing more.”