Chapter Text
For a while everything was okay, both Belle and Adam were in some sort of high cloud, living a dream. The castle's inhabitants were back too, reunited with their families and the prince was back in the good graces of the villagers. Everything was wonderful, the joy, the love, being accepted again, being loved again, having his normal body again. He was happy, and Belle was happy and everyone else was happy. He felt that he was finally allowed to be happy.
But of course, perfection is very hard to maintain and after some days a dark cloud started hovering over Adam. He was afraid of going back to his horrible ways, afraid that the worst parts of the monster were still with him, afraid that being succesful and admired again would make him go back to what he was. It was in his nature, it was in his personality, and the effects of the lessons learned is very clear in the beginning, but then, like most memories, it starts to fade. And he would go back to being cruel, and selfish and aggressive.
And that couldn't stand.
He remembered how horrible he'd been to Maurice, over a simple flower. He remembered how brutal he'd been with Belle those first days and hated himself for it. Endlessly. Not only that, but he almost got all his servants killed, because he'd been shallow and unkind. Actions had consequences, and he couldn't afford any more consequences. He wouldn't fail Belle anymore.
So he made an effort, a big long effort not to the prince he once was. No more parties just for himself, only for other people's birthdays and celebrations. He gave away some of his most priced possessions, taught children how to read with the help of Belle. Became a true samaritan, which only increased the townspeople admiration, which only increased his fear. Every time someone complimented him, he felt the shadow of his old self creeping on him. He could go back to that so easily....
He gave up the feasts and lavish dinners, too. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how little he deserved all of what he had, while people far more deserving than him had nothing. So the prince started skipping meals or giving the food to other people. All that food was a symbol of he had but hadn't earned for himself. It was unfair.
Food was also connected to his life before the curse, where he would have the most lavish dishes prepared so that he and his friends could taste them, and only them. Those feasts, all that food that they ate long after they were full was a sign of exclusivity, of superiority. And he was starting to hate it, it and everything that reminded him of who he'd once been.
He was good at hiding how little he ate, skillfull. He pretended to have eaten earlier, or when he was out, and nobody questioned it. If he wasn't eating it was probably because he wasn't hungry, and he wasn't hungry because he'd eaten before. Simple and easy, nothing to worry about. The change was gradual anyways, so when he started losing weight it happened slowly, and as the inhabitants of the castle saw him every day it was more difficult to notice the change.
Adam liked getting thinner, felt he was putting distance between the prince that had been and the one that was, the one who knew better. He didn't have paws and fur anymore, but he was different. It was important to him that he was. Not for the others, but for himself – it made him feel good, putting that distance. So he kept doing it.
And besides, he could continue wiht his normal life anyways, and nobody noticed, so there really was no downside. He was chatty in social gatherings, kind with kids and eloquent with friends and acquaintances. He invented a good number of excuses as to why he wasn't eating so much, and everyone believed them. Nothing was wrong. He managed to convince himself and everybody of it, and when Belle showed some concern, he explained it in a way that made it seem normal, unimportant. They just were eating at different times because they had both been very busy, that was all. Certainly nothing to worry about.
But of course, the human body requires sustenance, and worrisome things started to happen, even if the prince managed to hide most of them pretty decently. He'd learnt to live with a slight light headedness, and his body had slowly but surely got used to eating less, so he wasn't all that hungry anymore. And he did eat, not often and not much, but not too little either (or that was what he told himself).
Until one day when the light-headedness became too much. He was discussing books with Belle in the library when everything began to swim, to move around him. He wanted to hold on to something but couldn't, and everything was beginning to grow dark, black spots clouding his vision. The last thing he heard was Belle's voice calling his name in a panic and then lost he lost himself.
Belle had known that somethingwas wrong for some time. She had meant to confront Adam about it but didn't know which words to use – and this a very delicate issue, so she wanted to talk about it ina way that wasn't hurtful but expressed the depth of her concern.
She also knew that Adam was very good with words and could deny everything and disarm her with eloquence, convincing her that there was nothing to worry about. So she had wanted to be ready for his counterarguments too, so that the problem was adressed and fixed, not just swept under the rug. In the end she'd taken too long to prepare and talk about it – but she had noticed.
Her love hardly ate with her anymore, and had become paler and gaunter. His face was bonier too, his features more pronouced than ever, and she'd seen him shirtless and could see the outline of his ribs.
There was a resaon for this, she knew. It could be a symptom of some underlying illness, but she suspected it was something more of an emtional nature. The rpince was troubled, and very much so, even if the effects of the curse had long worn off. This could just be another way of sublimating his anxieties – an extremely unhealthy way, sadly.
She knew he had a lot in his mind, form his time as beast, form when he was a vain prince before that and even from when he was a child, even if he hardly spoke about it. All those trouble led to that moment.
She'd been decided to talk to him, then, in the library, that they were the two of them alone. She had put it off long enough. Between teaching kids how to read, making the castle more her own and the fact that she didn't want to talk about it, she'd waited too long. Too long indeed as Adam passed out before she could bring up the problem.
When he came to he was bak in his bed, even though he didn't remember getting there. He found not only Belle looking at him but also Mrs Potts, Chip, Cogsworth and Lumiere.
“What...?”
“You fainted, in the library. You apparently have quite a case of anemia.”
“Well, sorry if I scared. I didn't mean to-”
“Stop.” Belle interrupted. “Stop with the excuses and stories and listen to us for a minute.”
“We are all very concerned for you, master.” Mrs Potts began, while Chip nodded energetically. “You never eatanymore and you've grown paler and weaker. Every time we make food you refuse it and we don't know how to change that.”
Cogsworth followed.
“And don't even try to imply that it's not affecting you or that you have it under control. This... incident has clearly shown that you don't control it. It's been too long and it has become a real health issue, maybe even life threatening.”
“There must be a reason for this, we don't mind if you don't want to share it with us, but at least talk to Miss Belle. Fix it, before it's too late.”
“But I don't...”
“You don't have a problem?” Belle said, more than a bit angry. Normally she would have felt bad for interrupting the prince but not now. “You do, honey, and the sooner the admit it, the sooner we can fix it.”
Adam was silent.
“Please, you need to stop. I will give time to think about it, all right? Before you tell me anything. But whatever reasons you have for doing this, there must be other ways to fix it. And we can, no matter what it is, we can solve it, together. But you can't keep bottling up everything. It's hurting you, and it's hurting us as well.”
This was the tipping point. After that day, the prince admitted to having a problem and talked with Belle. He had a long road ahead of him until recovering, but having someone on the way made everything easier.