Chapter Text
July 7th, 1994
To Hermione Granger,
Another letter back. Careful Granger, I'll start believing you when you say nice things to me.
Thank you for your concern. I must say, I found it very funny that you immediately went straight to academia rather than the usual route of...well, sympathy. I'm glad this has been a useful experience for one of us. I am, of course, joking - you don't come across as insensitive at all. You've actually been uncharacteristically understanding. Out of character for a Gryffindor, I mean.
Ah, I knew you would ask that eventually. I haven't reached out to Potter or Weasley, but I promise I have genuine reasons beyond our childish rivalries. Of course, I feel ashamed of how I've acted towards them too, but Granger, you know them better than anyone - how likely are they to forgive me, after everything I've done? I was taking a gamble with you, and while that worked out in my favor, I'd rather not take too many risks at once. I feel like they'll both still see me as the stuck-up, cruel eleven year old I was, even if that couldn't be further from the truth.
It's still so bizarre to me that you want to know me at all. THE Hermione Granger, interested in getting to know a Malfoy? Completely unrealistic, if you ask me. Wow, that almost sounded like a compliment. I'm honored that you think I'm alright, in fact I might have that written on my tombstone. Do you have anything you wish to talk about, Granger? Regarding school, and being picked on. You mentioned me not being the only one to be hurtful to you? As much as I love dominating the conversation with my riveting family issues, I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to be an unpaid therapist. I can no longer afford to just pay you by the hour, unfortunately for the both of us. The downside of choosing happiness over generational wealth.
A fresh start would be nice. Thank you so much. I'm not exactly the best at being emotionally vulnerable, as you can tell, but this is just...it's something I didn't think anyone would do for me, least of all you. I won't annoy you with the constant apologising. I just wanted you to know I was genuine, and I'm glad that came across properly to you. Although, you have piqued my attention Granger, what sort of horrible things were you saying about me? I won't be mad. Can't be worse than slurs, at least.
Sweet merciful Merlin, you're so Gryffindor-ish. Do you all swear on Godric's honor? Is that something every Gryffindor seriously does?
Not a lot of people would have. It's - complicated. I know, or maybe knew, that father would give in to my demands. I wasn't ever left wanting much, don't get me wrong, I was never properly neglected, so I suppose in that regard I was a brat. He wasn't as bad when I was a child. As for the high expectations, well, that's just what pureblooded children are supposed to be, it isn't unique to my situation. We are the results of thousands of years of "good breeding", whatever that is, and we are expected to act like it. Dishonor often means being banished from coveted social circles, which could mean being outcast. It's a lot of near political pressure to put on playdates. Or, apparently also marriages. I know it sounds alien to you, but it was always my normal. I mean, it was how my parents married. Your options are fall in love with someone elsex in the Sacred 28 on your own, or get matched by your parents, so the dating pool isn't particularly wide. I hope you didn't think Pansy Parkinson hangs off me like a parasite because she thinks I'm good conversation. Hopefully she won't anymore though, now I've incited a scandal.
Oh, don't tell me Godric Gryffindor would be proud of me. I'm still wrapping my head around being a disgrace to the house of Malfoy, I don't think I could manage disgracing the house of Slytherin in the same month. That's not even an amusing joke. It's just hurtful at this point. Granger, it's like you're trying to kill me.
I can't contact my mother. It would risk her safety too much, and I can't do that to her after she already risked so much getting me to Aunt Andromedas'. Father is notified of every owl leaving and entering the grounds, every unauthorized apparation, every person on the grounds. It hurts, because I genuinely love my mother, but if it keeps her safe, then I'll just have to do without her.
Yes, my aunt is Andromeda Tonks. Are you referring to my cousin Nymphadora? I've met her a few times, but she usually stays closer to the ministry for Auror training. I have to admit, I find her a bit strange. I'm just not used to being around people who are so free spirited, and she's not used to being around people who are used to being restrained by social convention, so we don't really mesh. She had bright purple hair, Granger. Do you realise the scandal that would have caused if she was raised a pureblood? I am trying to restrain my judgement, I really am. If I'm certain of anything, it's that my father would rather drop dead where he stood than spend any amount of time here, which is fortunately my best defense at the moment.
I worry about Astoria too. I have been debating sending her an owl, but the issue is if it's intercepted it could be reported back to my father. I am currently researching encryption charms, to disguise my letter as something unrelated if it is read by anyone other than her. My father is cruel, but he's also strategic, so he probably wouldn't tell the Greengrasses about my outburst unless he thought he had something to gain from it. The only thing he really wanted from them was a daughter in law, but that isn't really necessary with me out of the equation.
You're allowed to admit you're nice Granger, I promise it won't kill you. Curiosity did kill the cat though, so I'd keep an eye on that if I were you. I'm hoping to make the fact that I'm not all that bad less of a secret soon enough. You aren't too awful yourself.
Yours sincerely,
Draco Malfoy.
(P.S.: I have two questions regarding your writing; why do you do the little stars around certain words, and what are you writing with? The ink seems less saturated than it would with a quill).
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July 7th, 1994
To Draco Malfoy,
Your owl has gotten very efficient, which is why I'm writing back so fast. See, if you aren't expecting a reply from me, why write one yourself? Seems like you're setting yourself up to fail here, Malfoy.
Academia is easier than concern. I feel like that truth is universally acknowledged. You'd be upset if I pretended I didn't care. I promise you the sympathy is there, but you know how it is, and don't pretend you don't. I won't even try to be offended. I don't like it, but you aren't far from the truth, I suppose we aren't known for being an entirely compassionate house.
In all honesty, I understand why you haven't contacted them. Harry is *usually* one of the most patient and understanding people I know, but when it comes to you, he won't hear a single positive word. He does not like you at all, and his chances of forgiving you are relatively slim. As for Ron, good luck. Listen, he's one of my best friends and I have nothing but respect and admiration for him, but he is stubborn as a mule. He still sees you as the enemy, so he'd be unlikely to hear you out even if you got to your knees and begged, and I don't think that's likely to happen (though it would make for an entertaining show). I know you aren't that eleven year old. They don't. I could talk to them for you, if you want? Harry and I are staying at the Burrow for two weeks at the start of August, and they might be a little more open to talking about it in person.
You're going to have to get over it eventually Malfoy, or else you'll run the risk of sounding like a fan of mine. Seems realistic enough from where I am. Unless you're insinuating there is a reason it shouldn't be?
School is. *Complicated*, shall we say. I have Harry and Ron, and they're wonderful friends, but other than that, I'm...alone. And we all have vastly different hobbies - I mean, I hate Quidditch, so when they want to talk about games or go practice I'm sort of left behind. I don't always mind, the library is quite nice and I'm usually undisturbed when I'm there, but just once I'd like to talk about a book I'm reading and receive a response beyond "oh wow Hermione, that sounds complicated", or "bloody hell, I don't know how you read that for fun". And I tried to make friends with the girls in my dorm when we were in first year, but we just never clicked. I might have gone about it the wrong way at first, but now it's gotten to the point where they just think I'm insufferable. It's not like we have much in common anyway. Beyond that, it's just blood purity nonsense and comments about my teeth, my hair, my skin, the fact that I actually answer questions in class (Morgana forbid I do the work I'm set). I've learnt to just tune it out, just like I did when I was at primary school. Is there a wizard equivalent of primary school, or are you all homeschooled?
I don't feel like an unpaid therapist at all. I literally told you you could talk to me if you needed to - I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.
I shouldn't have mentioned it at all. Of course you'd want to know. If you ever tell Harry or Ron I told you this, I'm transfiguring you into a mouse and setting you loose in the Forbidden Forest.
The word "greasy" was thrown around a fair amount. That may be in relation to the hair gel. Snake as well, but that might be a general insult towards Slytherins generally rather than just you. You got called a slime a surprising number of times, and I don't think it was even in relation to your hair, which implies that you have a slimy personality. Of course, there's the usual "twat", "blithering idiot", etc. I'm only kind of sorry for those. You must admit, you were a twat.
Those are large stones to be throwing from your glass dungeon, Malfoy - don't all Slytherins say "for Salazar's sake"?
Reading the words "good breeding" did make me heave a little, I won't lie. That is just beyond vile. Your situation actually reminds me of this poem I read in a collection of Muggle poetry I while ago, specifically the lines "He caught me in his silken net,/ And shut me in his golden cage." It's from "How sweet I roam'd from field to field" by William Blake, if you're interested. Just know, you don't have to be that way anymore. From what little I've interacted with your aunt, I know she'd hold the same view. To be fair, I sort of did - she doesn't seem like a girl with particularly good taste. (Joking). What does that mean for you socially, though? I imagine your friends won't be allowed to socialise with you anymore, if their parents find out what's happened. I'm sorry if that's the case.
I deeply apologise, Malfoy. I had no idea the idea of being a Gryffindor was so *devastating* to you that it would bring up your trauma in that way. I'll contact Dumbledore and have him send me to Azkaban immediately.
I might have a way to potentially contact your mother safely, but I'm going to need you to go into this with an open mind, and I don't think I'd be able to reach my source until we got back to Hogwarts. Would you father be specifically alerted if house elves who previously worked in the Manor apparated into the property?
Yes I am! Although she makes us call her 'Tonks'. She says Nymphadora is too feminine and traditional, and I kind of understand her point as someone with a fairly unconventional name myself. I think Tonks is hilarious, although it makes sense you'd find her strange given who you're usually exposed to. If you think purple hair is scandalous, I'd love to see you attend a Muggle rock concert. No, even better, I'd love to all of Slytherin house attend a Muggle rock concert. The outrage! The scandal!
Anything that makes Lucius Malfoy consider dropping dead is a worthwhile endeavour in my book.
If you need specific encryption charms, I have a book about complex magical wards I could copy from if you need. They operate under 5th Year+ magical principles, but to be honest, I trust that you would be intelligent enough to make them work (don't let that get to your head). There are also a couple hexes you could use to protect the paper from people other than the intended recipient if those interest you at all...
Another attempt at humor I imagine? You've still got a long way to go until you're ready for your comedy career, I'm afraid. Keep practicing though, I'm sure with enough struggle you'll crack the code eventually.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Hermione Granger.
(P.S: If you want to ask me questions, you're allowed to do that in the main body of the letter. But the stars are for emphasis - I use it to mimic the way I talk so that my tone comes across the way I want it to. And I'm writing with a ballpoint pen, which is a Muggle thing. It saves having to constantly buy ink while I'm not at school and it's far less messy. I'll send one with this letter so you can try it out).