Chapter Text
It was Minerva who yelled for everyone to stand down, to stop trying to cast a patronus - every time one tried the one trying simply fell down, breaking concentration enough to fail - and to; “Yuse yer bloody eyes ye edjits, look’it them, they isna attacking, back the hell off ‘n Albus be quiet!”
“Daft man, stop yer catterwalling an use yer eyes.”
Quiet fell, ice cold and bitter, her breath coming in clouds as she finally thought to cast a warming charm over her night dress.
The dementors nearest to her suddenly had strands of nastiness pulling free, she gagged, it was like gut worms yet even worse, a ghastly stink of foul magic and she staggered back, poor Pomona even threw up as they watched.
“Severus, oh ye good boy, good boy indeed!” She felt his unmistakable power as he banished it all away, leaving the air so much fresher.
And then the dementor closest to her turned, and looked eyelessly down at her, and Albus would have attacked but she turned and kicked him in the shin, as hard as she could.
Stupid man fell down screaming, wizards were so easy to defeat because they never saw a witches' steel toed boots coming high speed their way!
Leaving him to howl the pain of a broken shin to the uncaring air she turned back to the creature, who was now close enough to smell.
A dry musty scent, like frozen mummies, ancient rot and past lives and she raised her head to meet it squarely in the gaze and said, “What de ye be wanten?”
Delicately, like a hint of snow it touched her shoulder, brought its frightening mouth close to her chest, and began to suck.
In horror she watched tangled strands of magic trying to pull free, she cried out a soft mewl of pain and it paused, and then caught three of them with its fingers and continued to suck the first one free, like a linguine noodle that was fighting back.
But the pain was manageable as long as it did it one at a time, she caught its arm to keep herself upright and still, rock hard muscle and bone, yet light, were they like birds she wondered distractedly as it took the next strand in its mouth, and then the next and finally sucked the fourth one free.
Four unknown spells and bindings placed upon her and she’d not know it.
Looking over at the ones she could see of her coworkers, they'd taken their cue from her, were being freed, no idea where Albus was, looking up she could see OH, her dementors hand was on her head now, sharing its vision with her of her and the castle.
*Cleaning it all away* it gave her and she laughed, “Indeed, oh indeed look at the poor dear, no wonder we’ve been so unhappy, oh no wonder, YES you can go inside, OPEN THE DOORS AND WINDOWS!” it drew back a bit at her bellow, “UPON MY AUTHORITY AS HOGWARTS DEPUTY HEADMASTER, OPEN THE CASTLE!”
With a clattering rush all the doors and windows opened, full access given by the castle herself and the creatures streamed in, cleaning as they went.
Leaning into the hug of a lifetime, Minerva laughed until she cried as the dementor hugged her back very awkwardly indeed, patted her on the head a few times, and then gracefully flew to join the others as they continued to clean.
*
“Now this isna sumtin ya see every day, Puppy, lookee there Fang, oh, now, oh dear, Perfesser Lupin is gettin some kinda tag team treatment!” Waving at the dementors who’d made him feel so much better Hagrid watched happily as poor perfesser Lupin gave a howl of anguish and disappeared behind a wall of dementors and finally, like a flower, they pulled back to leave a slightly wobbly wolf blinking in shock.
Puppy howled an ecstatic greeting and bounded to meet it and he, a quick second look to be sure, he indeed, and it must be the perfesser but not human anymore, Hagrid could tell as he watched it gamboling about with Puppy, and then Fang got involved in the three way game of tag.
Laughing at the three when they cast themselves panting at his feet, “Yeah, Wolfie c’n stay, we gots plenty of room fer all of ya.”
*
Clean, the entire place was clean, the feast of concentrated flavor/power in the pile of clattering things consumed and passed through her colony, she’d remembered to ask one of her tiny cleaning cousins to take the now empty and clean things to the Flame’s parent, and she gave one final look around, and then rose to the dawning sky.
She had no need of numbers, simply knew they all were there, with her, and they too were clean.
No longer would they roam a prison as they fed not upon broken magic but upon happiness and joy, no wonder they'd all been sick, no wonder no clusterlings had been created!
But the Flame had cleaned them, the Flame’s parent had banished the evil away, they were free.
One final task, find the last piece of the banquet and then find a new colony site, the Flame’s Parental might know of one, or the deep diggers might also know, yes, find the final bit of the feast, rest, and then ask the sharp diggers.
They did seem to know most things, and if not they then the little cousins of clean would know.
Her entire colony swarming around her like a storm of thousands hit top speed as the sun rose to brush them all with power. It was a good day indeed to be a dementor, unless of course, she laughed to herself, you were one of the cluster of greedy younglings.
Because they may have to wait to learn better until a new colony was founded, but learn better they would.
*
His son.
Severus Snape, looking at his very own son, because no matter how it had happened, Harry Potter was his son.
His naughty son standing for a grand total of four eternal minutes in the corner, sobbing his little heart out, turning as the timer went off and running to Severus, “Owww owww owwwie spankies poor Dobby gettin spankies c’n feels em noooo Daddy no spankies for Harry p’weees noooo spankies!”
Younger than Severus had ever seen him, although at least he’d shed his flippers for limbs, Severus easily picked him up and sat down with him. “Little one, did you go outside without me?”
Huge black pools of sorrow and regret gazed up at him, seal face and fur, almost human body but tiny indeed, and at the tiny solemn nod Severus said, kissing his forehead, “Then you know what that naughtiness earns you.”
Four not very stern at all spanks were swiftly given, to huge howling sobs, his little Harry a dramatic flower indeed, and Severus held him and rubbed his back as he calmed down and and then he talked, all about how much Daddy loved him, little or big, seal or boy, naughty or well behaved, for ever and ever and ever!
Totally ignoring the kerfuffle outside his very well warded door, of thousands of dementors invading to clean hundreds of years worth of magical residue away, he’d already sent warning to his snakes to not resist, to relax, it was alright, he’d explain later but for now they were safe, he was safe, the dementors were safe, and to go the hell back to bed!
Severus wondered as he held the bottle of milk for the quietly hiccuping toddler, how did Dementors discipline their foolish ones?
Did they even have bottoms to spank?
Or did they stand in time out, in corners even? The image almost made him laugh out loud!
Did they get grounded, having to walk rather than fly, or perhaps restricted to a single part of the prison or island, or forbidden to guard prisoners or….. What did naughty dementors who risked eating to death actually earn on the island that he'd now learned was not their prison but their home.
A home stolen from them as they were enslaved to the wixen world!
So much to learn, he realized as Harry let go the bottle, sound asleep at last and with a huff Severus stood and tossed a pinch of floo powder into the fire and said, "Gringotts!”
*
“You, Severus Snape, are indeed Daddy.”
Rolling his eyes at the goblin who was mocking him ruthlessly, despite not showing any emotions at all, he asked, “Is it legal in the Wixen world, or do we have to do anything about it to make it so, because….”
Looking down at his armful of tired out little boy, still whiskered yet no longer furred, “I can feel it, he’s mine.”
“I never knew, never understood but I feel him, inside, he’s mine.”
“And you are his, and as a Selkary, he will never let you go.”
“Good,” Severus nodded, “good!”
“Indeed, now, seventeen books on the subject are now yours, as well as all adoption records, you are magically bonded, parent to child, child to parent, and you are also tied to his very sore-of-bottom elf, you are after all the elder and head of the family so your son's elf comes to you as well, also, in magic your son's name has changed, Harrison James Potter-Snape, he is your heir, and you are now regent to his House.”
“Congratulations on your freedom.”
A blank moment of confusion and Severus let his eyes follow theirs to his arm, which was bare indeed, and he looked deep within, all bindings and ties were gone, only his parental bond was left, and that dratted baby elf, he was there as well, touching it gently he could easily feel it sleeping, and the sting across its tail end, firm yet not harsh, like all the hogwarts elves were.
As he was trying to be, but trying was a silly word, it was easy to be what was needed for his son.
Looking at the foot high stack of documents he sighed in defeat, “Alright, lets get started, please assume I know nothing about any of this and need all the help to understand it all!”
Tucking the pouch of shrunken books into his pocket, Harry now tucked into a basket beside him, he took the first in the stack and began to read, it was going to be a very long day indeed.
Sometime in the late afternoon after hours of work his manager looked up at a musical chime, and smiled, “Ah, indeed, oh well done, the dark lord is truly dead this time, all thanks to you and your son and about, what was it, a stormcloud of dementors that was spotted over the English Channel, heading to,” looking at the page now on his desk, “Rrrromania, the foul beast took cover there but with all his trinkets destroyed, he was fair game, I do hope he didn't give anyone indigestion.”
“No, there were enough of them to spread the load, as it were.” Laughing in somewhat giddy relief Severus added, “I believe they rather liked his flavor.”
It was the first time Severus had ever seen a goblin laugh uncontrollably, and he joined in as well because now that it was all over, it really was funny!
*
It was Severus himself who broke the news to the Daily Profit that the dark lord was dead at last, truly and totally dead as a doornail, showing his arm as proof, his picture front page, holding it up, pulling the sleeve out of the way, and showing the bare skin and giving a tiny smirk, before the picture reset to to it again and again.
And unlike Ronald Weasley who’s father had come to take him away to deal with his disgraceful behavior of betraying a friend's confidential information, Severus had only joy in seeing his little spillage all over the front page!
He and Harry were already packed up, all their worldly goods having been moved via elf to a lovely stone house overlooking deep blue waters, a long way away indeed from Hogwarts.
Turtle Cove, a tiny hidden magical enclave in the Hawaiian Islands, he’d found the property tucked in the stacks of the Potter holdings and in a fit of exhaustion fueled madness, had tugged it free of the pile and said, “Is this liveable?”
A simple checking spell and his manager said, “Indeed it is, and as a Potions Master you will find it uniquely suitable for your needs, it is right on the beach for your son, and is bedded into the rocks of the island which sustains much more powerful wards than are usual in family homes.”
“However, with a full potions laboratory taking up the entire back half of the property it should indeed please a master such as yourself. As you know Potter is a name long synonymous with potions, and this was their winter retreat for many years.”
A sharp toothed grin, “Would you like us to freshen it up, and break your employment contract? It is badly written and we all absolutely despise that damned Dumbledore, about time he is left in the lurch.”
“And your loss will bite deep indeed, you already do the job of a full potions apothecary shop for their infirmary, and teach five times more than you should, and are den mother to all of your house, a load truly insane for a single individual to be dealing with and a taking advantage of our client that is frankly appalling!”
Blinking in surprise at the rant, Severus said, “Yes please to the house, and the contract, and can we finish now? I think I am even more tired than I thought.”
“Indeed we may, you will rest here, Jasper will take you to our guest quarters, a light repast is already there for you, as are robes for sleeping and for tomorrow.”
“Rest well young one, your true life begins now.”
Wondering why that made him want to cry, Severus curled into bed with Harry, now almost fully back to being a young teen, buried his nose into the sea smelling hair, and let sleep claim him.
It had been a very long time indeed since he did sleep.
*
“Whoa, wow, where are we dad….. Um…..sorry.”
Stretching with a back popping yawn Severus said, “Gringotts guest quarters, call me anything that makes you feel comfortable, dad is cool, do kids say cool anymore?”
As he still had his eyes closed he missed the look of absolute amused befuddlement on his son's face, “Never mind, get yourself cleaned up, we’ll eat once you’re done, and I’ll try my best to explain what all is going on, it is a bit much but I’m sure we’ll do just fine.”
*
Escaping after calling Professor Snape DAD, still snickering a bit at his so proper professor using a word like cool, Harry got a quick shower, got dressed in awesome clothes, so much better than the school uniform, giving a few squats and lunges he could move freely and not catch in cloth, it felt like some kind of leather really, only very light like cloth, shaped kind of like really fashionable monks robes if that was even possible, still wondering what it was he tried to ignore how, inside of him, the empty hurting place was gone.
It had been there forever, all his life, yet now when he looked it was Snape in there.
Shyly leaving the bathroom he couldn't help it, Snape in the awesome clothes made him look a million times cooler, and the man was awesome to start with.
Kicking the gathered skirts Severus said, “Goblin day robes, an honor indeed, made of Slurk hide, a kind of subterranean worm, if a worm had the appetite of a bengal tiger and could swim through solid rock eating it as it goes, and was about a hundred feet long when fully grown.”
“Amazing animals, intensely magical, the skins are magic resistant to five or six times that of dragon hide, I really am not sure what we did to be gifted them….”
“You, together, got rid of a nasty dark stain upon the world and made the dementors of Azkaban happy again, they were getting very hungry, forbidden to do their proper purpose while they were twisted into evil.”
Laying the breakfast tray onto the table the old Goblin laughed at the father son duo, “Indeed, just like vultures in the muggle world Dementors feed on dead magic, or dark magic or sick magic, they are the scavengers that keep magic clean and fresh, when you Harry made friends with one, not just in your creature form but as a child pure of heart and naughty of personality, it freed that one, who freed their Cluster, which freed all the rest because it freed the Mother who is the heart of the colony, and where she goes, all the rest follow.”
“They are free of Azkaban now, we are currently offering them a new island, one not plotted on any map, in order to keep them free, their heart-stone has already been liberated into our keeping and we are simply finalizing the deal, a few Clusters of them to work with us, cleaning up dangerous and spoiled magic, and they all live free from this point onwards, with the entire Goblin Nation guarding that freedom.”
“That is why you have been gifted your apparel, now, eat, and we will talk farther, and then you will go home to your new house.”
“After you quit Hogwarts that is, oh, and if you would perhaps share the memory of dumping Dumbledore in the shit, we could be very generous, payment in, hmmmm, books?”
“Deal!” Severus snapped, and handed Harry a plate, easily seeing he'd lost a few years just listening.
“Please don't worry Harry, here, look, this is our new house, let me tell you about it as you look at the pictures.”
Telling his son all about the local town, the small school and surfing and fishing and so much more he regained all his years by the time they headed for Hogwarts, just in time for the great hall to be full for breakfast.
*
Leaving Harry in the shadowy corner to watch, Severus Snape, Potions Master, Hogwarts Professor, and Head of Slytherin House, strode through the great Hall as silence spread at his appearance, gleaming black on black gobbling clothes, hair clean and brushed and pulled up and back in a ponytail, a silver lily hanging from one ear, several of his seventh year students made very odd noises indeed, he made a note to send them all his contact details so they could reach out to him if they needed help of any kind, actually, he’d do that for all his snakes cause they might need it, and gave a sharp toothed smile as Albus stood up, frown and no twinkle in sight, “Severus, what is going on?”
“Oh dear, didn't you hear?”
Turning to look at all the students he held up his arm, pulled the sleeve out of the way to show it bare and clean, “THE DARK WANKER IS DEAD!”
Spinning back to look at Albus, Severus laughed and said, nice and loud so even the ones in the back could hear, “AND I QUIT, YOU GREAT FUCK WIT, I’LL SAY IT AGAIN SO YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, VOLDEMORT IS DEAD, AND I QUIT!”
Striding out to cheers and bellows of joy Severus grabbed Harry, laughed, and activated their portkey, landing on sand as his son promptly vomited all over him!
Easily banishing the mess he gave him a stomach soother and set him down, now very small indeed, six maybe, or seven, and Dobby barreled out of the house yelling a mile a minute and they ran together to explore the house commiserating at the top of their lungs about how terrible their spankings had been and their voices faded into bird song and surf and for a long moment Severus just…. breathed.
His entire life had been trying to survive all that was demanded of him, and now he stood beside the ocean on land younger than Hogwarts herself and laughed, free and wild with no expectations weighing him down at all, actually feeling his true age at last.
Then, as parents everywhere had to do, he got on with keeping his son out of trouble, and seeing about lunch and a nap, because with the entire ocean right on their front step as it were, he thought teaching Harry to swim might be a very good way to spend their afternoon, because his seal body needed to sleep for a few years and it was wildly improbable with his history that anyone, anyone at all, had taught Harry to swim.
From this point on his son both needed, and deserved, to be a child, free and happy, and now Severus could make that happen, because the dark wanker really was dead, and Severus was free!
The sudden sound of breaking glass had him sprinting, accompanied as it was with Dobby saying, "Don't worry, watch this!"
_______
Notes
The dementors flew across the English Channel in full view, and as no one had ever actually counted them no one knew how many there were, but the flock was about a hundred thousand strong, so it was a huge cloud indeed.
Most of them had been in a kind of suspended animation state, conserving energy, and as they all look alike no one had realized they never saw the same dementor twice, those sleeping woke and those awake returned to the deep caverns, cycling over and over in an attempt to survive the wrong diet.
Easily catching the final bit of Tom they enjoyed the flavor hugely, the more evil or damaged or decayed the magic the better flavor it had for them, as well as energy the meal provided, they were, after all, evolved for that role, and very good at it.
The unplottable island Gringotts provided was right off the coast from Harry’s new house - knowing how much they liked Severus and Harry, the goblins laughed for ages at creating the perfect bit of chaos for the poor man while still giving him the queen Dementor as a new, and good, friend - a huge craggy cave pitted rock invisible to the eye but not to Magicals given the secret, which they had been, but only after Harry felt them across the channel, and called them over for a visit.
Harry’s heritage did indeed sleep once his magic and mind both agreed he was safe, and he felt very safe indeed with Severus who wasn’t perfect but who loved Harry very much indeed and tried very hard indeed to be a good parent, which is all it takes to do the job properly.
With Harry’s variable age he joined the local school, learning magic from the ground up as he learned to swim, to fish and play and make friends along with Dobby, because he too was enrolled in school, because Severus spent the school hours brewing and inventing, and needed to not be worrying about what his demented baby elf was up to.
*
A Selkary differs from a Selkie in many ways, one is power level, as an adult Harry will indeed earn that 5X danger category, although he is not dark, he is simply powerful and protective of his natural habitat which puts him at odds with fishing boats and Wixen harvesting within his territory.
He too is a cleaner, herding magical residue into a tight mass to be disposed of, often in partnership with dementors, hence his instant affinity with them, well, other than his confusion the first time that is.
Unlike a Selkie Harry transforms naturally, needing no magical seal skin, and while a Selkie pup can transform very young with its mothers help, Harry shouldn't be able to transform until he is a young adult.
And a Selkie is restricted to the water and land, but as an adult Selkary Harry will fly as well as swim, which is going to turn his Dad's hair proper white with stress!
*
Ron was withdrawn from Hogwarts for the rest of the school year, properly punished for his actions, and all the money he’d been paid for the scoop given to charity, a charity he had to work with as a general helper while he spent his year out of school in ways his father thought would build actual character, rather than what the Headmaster was doing to the students.
*
The new Slytherin Head of House was indeed very good to her snakes, many of whom did visit Professor Snape across the years, and while she thought the man an absolute headcase to not have noticed the crushes most of his older students had on him, she loved the books he'd written on dealing with sleep and stress that she convinced him to publish them for sale rather than private use.
It was an odd sort of friendship but they both enjoyed bitching about the job to someone who would actually understand.
*
With how badly Hogwarts struggled to fill Severus’ UNPAID roles the International Council of Education got involved and one by one Dumbledore lost his titles, Headmaster first and then all the rest, because a simple audit showed he was embezzling funds at a shocking rate.
*
Hogwarts eventually lost its boarding school status, it was deemed much cheaper and also much easier on students to simply provide magical doors so they could go home every day, and with the confidential information given on how badly Harry Potter was abused at his home, mandatory YEARLY interviews with students and families, along with health checks, were implemented to spot and deal with abusive situations, so, as they say, everyone did indeed live much happier lives forever more.
*
Oh, forgot this bit, because Harry was dealing with his baby creature brain and brand new instincts he removed all the pain and damage of Sirius Black’s life, which left almost nothing remaining of his humanness. He did remember being human but only the nice bits, of which, frankly, there were not that many. He was so much happier as a very smart, very loyal, and very long lived dog than he’d ever have been as a badly broken and savagely damaged man.
Remus Lupin had hated himself from a very young age, and been terribly damaged by Dumbledore’s treatment of him, and he too, once that damage was cleaned away lost his humanity, although with him it was a choice offered by the dementors that he took, they cleaned the rest of the human away and left only the wolf, but with all of his kindness and intelligence remaining.
Hagrid gained canid companions that would live as long as he did, loyal and loving and fun, which he badly needed in his life.
Fang was a long lived breed of boar hound but while he was indeed young he’d only live thirty or so years, so Puppy and Wolfie brought joy indeed into both his and Hagrid’s lonely life.
When the school was restructured Hagrid was finally PAID for his years of service, got compensation for wrongful conviction for crimes he’d not done, and used that money to buy a house in a tiny magical village on the Hawaiian Islands, totally unaware it was where Harry and Severus had wound up - although a certain goblin had made sure that property was shown to Hagrid, because it was always fun to set his poor client up with more friends just to listen to him bitch about it - and while Severus might have preferred not to have a young at heart (and mind) half giant neighbor, he sighed and took them under his wing too, seeing as he already had dementors, the local selkie population, all the school children and the entire local population of house elves already under his feet, what the hell, why not Hagrid and his mutts as well!
*
And last but not least, the elves call Severus, Snapesees because he is very observant, Snape Sees, but as they never explain their nicknames, he is a bit baffled by their name for him, as are most people who hear it.