Chapter Text
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada 2008.
Shane meets Ilya Rozanov outside of the skating rink. It’s a relatively normal interaction, he introduces himself, tells Rozanov he’s an awesome player to watch, and Rozanov gives him one word answers. “You will not be so nice when we beat you.” He tells Shane as he walks away.
He huffs a laugh and says “That’s not happening.”
*
Shane meets him again at the draft after his team won and he pisses Shane right off! The pompous asshole is grinning ear to ear and keeps looking his way while holding his stupid jersey and holding up one stupid finger. Shane knows his fake smile is atrocious and that he won’t hear the end of it from his mom.
And he feels a little like he’s betraying himself by the fact that he’s kind of glad to be drafted second. Montreal’s closer to his home and has a team his mother absolutely loves (maybe this’ll make her forgive him for the smile thing). So yeah, maybe this once, he’s fine with not winning first place.
He meets Rozanov again not that long after, that night in the hotel gym. Shane’s working out at a normal pace when Rozanov walks in and sits at the bike right next to his. They have a stupid little race that ends in a tie and sit tiredly against random work out equipment to catch their breath.
They talk for a little bit but all thoughts leave Shane’s mind as he watched Rozanov take long sips from his water bottle, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. Rozanov hands him the water bottle, not letting him refuse and dragging his fingers across Shane’s when he grabs hold of it.
Rozanov mouth’s “more” to Shane when he puts the bottle down and he’s not sure what compelled him to obey but Rozanov’s smile and the wink he gives him when he has it back makes Shane feel like he did something amazing.
*
They meet again in a different skating rink, it’s a silly Rozanov v. Hollander rivalry photoshoot. But they have fun, laughing at the stupid poses they’re instructed to do.
A little later Rozanov reveals to him that he planned this double photoshoot. And in the locker room, after noticing Shane’s hard on from watching him, he starts to jerk himself off. And it’s riveting, Shane’s sure he could watch forever he realizes where are they are.
“Not here.” He says. And when he’s changed back into his regular clothes and Rozanov walks out in just his towel, he offers to pretend none of it ever happens.
“Is what you want?” Rozanov asks him. “Yeah, for sure.” He tries to make himself sound casual but it must not work since Rozanov chuckles and calls him a bad liar. He walks towards Shane and asks him his room number.
“Fourteen-ten.” Rozanov adjusts his towel, drawing Shane’s eyes to his deep v-line. “Well, if I come to fourteen-ten tonight at nine o’clock?” He asks, though it doesn’t really sound like a question.
“I might open.”
“I might knock.”
And later that night in his hotel room Shane’s getting on his knees and sucking Rozanov off. Then he’s watching as he strokes himself to completion. Then it’s him getting sucked off. It’s the hottest thing he’s ever fucking experienced, and he’s done a couple things with his high school girlfriends.
A lot of thing changed for Shane that night.
*
The next thing he sees of Rozanov is one of his post game interviews, the interviewer asks him about
He watches as Rozanov says “I never said forty goals, is lie. Liar told you this. I said fifty.” and gives a wink to the camera and all Shane can think about is how much fun this is going to be.
He’ll give it his all. And he knows Rozanov will give him hell back.
Montreal, Canada and Boston, Massachusetts, America over the years.
Shane always plays the best hockey of his career against Ilya.
Ilya always plays the best hockey of his career against Shane.
The rivalry might be fake but they play like it’s real.
Their personal involvement and feeling does nothing to discourage or deter them from wanting to win their games. From pinning each other to the boards or checking each other with all their might.
And their playing does nothing to discourage or deter them from loving each other, of course they didn’t always call it love but that’s what it’s always been.
Love and competition. It’s a lovely combination isn’t it?
Tampa, Florida, America, 2016.
Ilya and Shane just had their big “we can’t pretend this is nothing” moment. They had amazing sex and are now laying in each others arms, all romantic and shit! They’re talking about nothing in particular, just wanting to hear each other’s voices together.
Ilya doesn’t even think about what he’s saying when he makes a joke about throwing the next Boston v. Montreal game for Shane, letting him win as some sort of “we figured out what we are” gift.
He can immediately tell he never should’ve said something like that. He honestly should’ve known better, he does know better! It was just… a momentary lapse of judgement.
Shane stills and tenses. He moves away from Ilya and sits up. ”Ilya, what the fuck?“ And yikes! Definitely wrong call Rozanov.
“Don’t ever fucking say something like that to me again!” Shane moves to get up and leave when Ilya grabs his arms and hauls Shane down onto his chest. “No, Hollander!” He says elongating the “o.”
“It was only a joke, do not worry I will never ever go easy on you.” Thankfully that was exactly the perfect thing to say. Ilya seriously thinks it’s something like a compliment to Shane.
“Mmm, well it was a bad joke.” He grumbles into Ilya’s collarbone. “Yes, I know. And I didn’t mean it, I promise.” Shane gives him a kiss on his pec in forgiveness and they soon move topics to shit talking bad players.
God. He’s in love.
He’s in love with this fucking insane asshole of a hockey player.
Lanaudière, Quebec, Canada 2017.
The day had gone surprisingly well! He had come out to his parents and they accepted him! Ilya had met his parents and they find him acceptable. It’s not the best but it’s a start!
But something is bothering him. He’s sitting up in the dark, unable to sleep. His thoughts are moving a mile a minute but they all go back to one thing.
Ilya can’t join the centaurs. He doesn’t know how or why he ever thought that was a good idea. And without even consulting him? It feels like a betrayal that Ilya would ever even think about joining such horrible team!
And okay, maybe eventually they could turn it around but come on! Does Ilya really expect him to want to show off his loser of a boyfriend? Okay, that’s really unfair.
His boyfriend who used to be great and threw it all away.
If you asked him whether he wanted a boyfriend who lived closer to him or a boyfriend who wasn’t on one of the worst teams in the league just guess which option he’d choose.
Just guess. He bets it’s impossible seeing as Ilya thinks he’s so smart! And he knows everything!
But the thing that saddens him the most is that Ilya will never experience holding up the cup again. He remembers (and frequently rewatches) how ecstatic he looked.
He held it up with tears in his eyes, he didn’t understand what he said but the word for “mama” is pretty universal.
And he gets even sadder thinking about Ilya never being able to dedicate another amazing win to his mother. His mother, who was great. Who was so funny and beautiful. And who was so sad but not weak.
Decision made he turns and shakes Ilya awake.
*
The day had gone surprisingly well. Shane had come out to his parents and they accepted him. They find him acceptable but he swears he’ll him them over and become the best son-in-law the world has ever seen!
He’s dreaming about the future when he feels a hand on his shoulder. For a moment he wonders if he’s in heaven because of the angel he sees above him.
Then he remembers he doesn’t believe in god…
“Shane? What’s going on?”
Shane babbles for a little bit. He’s clearly distressed and Ilya hates seeing him like this. “Shane, please tell me what is going on with you.”
After a long pause and a deep breath Shane opens up.
“I just don’t know if I can love you if you play for a losing team.” He says, there are tears welling in his eyes. And Ilya can tell he feels horrible, both for feeling that way and for speaking it out loud.
“I’m so sorry Ilya, I love you I really do but…” The tears fall down Shane’s cheeks as he looks down at Ilya.
And it does feel kind of horrible to hear.
But maybe that feeling is just Ilya wishing he could say he’s surprised. He’s spent many years watching and noticing different things about Shane, and his relationship, or should he say feelings, toward hockey are a lot different than his. Than anyone else he knows.
It’s something he loves and admires about Shane. Even now, through the little hurt he feels he can’t help but think Shane is so strong for never going back on his principles. He loves how reliably insane about hockey Shane is.
If there’s been one constant in his life it’s been Shane, his freckles, his big brown eyes, and his fat ass acting like every hockey game was life or death.
“Shane, why did you wake me up to tell me this?” He asks softly, deciding to save that for another day, or at least until he gets more than just a couple hours of sleep.
“You can’t join the centaurs, Ilya! You can’t you’ll- you’ll never win another cup again!” Shane says, his breathing gets faster and he looks Ilya’s dying rather than transferring to a mediocre team.
Just like he said, hockey’s life or death for Shane.
“And I know you just want to be closer together but I promise there are better options!” Shane seemed to have calmed down, turning into planning mode Shane.
“I’ve been thinking and… what if I joined the Raiders?” Ilya freezes. “You would leave Montreal? For me?” He can’t help but ask. Shane huffs “You were willing to leave Boston for me, what’s the difference?”
“But think about it, Ilya. We’d be on the same team, in the same country. We’d be together every day.” And doesn’t that sound like heaven. Playing with Shane, living with Shane. Being able to be with him publicly, not romantically but it’s good enough.
Because no one would question why they’d be together, they’re on the same team! They’d could just be together.
“You are really willing to give up Montreal, Hollander?” He asks, it’s half giving Shane an out and half him just wanting reassurance.
“I am, I’m serious about this. About us.”
“And is that what you want? To be together?”
“So much. So much it scares me.”
Ilya feels eyes start to fill with tears and he turns his head, not wanting Shane to see them. But Shane strokes at his jawline and gently turns his head to face him and pull him into a kiss. Ilya pushes himself up to be over Shane.
He kisses him all over before he can’t take it anymore and blurts out what he’s been thinking for a very long time, maybe even longer than he knew.
“I love you.”
“Holy shit…” Shane looks like he’s not aware he even said that out loud.
“I mean…” He doesn’t even know what else he could’ve possibly added to that, maybe he’d take it back, maybe he’d just stay silent forever and hope he can convince Shane it was just a weird dream he had.
“I love you too.” Shane says, thankfully shutting his brain up. And Shane was right, holy shit.
He loves Shane Hollander. And Shane Hollander loves Ilya Rozanov back.
*
In the morning Shane asks Ilya his mother’s name. And wow, Irina. It’s beautiful, and makes him really curious to know what she looks like. Though he’s sure her name matched he perfectly.
“I was thinking…” he says and goes on a spiel about a hockey school that’ll be more like a summer camp for kids and how they can give the money away to mental health and suicide prevention organizations.
That make’s Ilya go quiet like the night before. Then he tells Shane something he thinks he’ll hold onto for as long as he knows Ilya.
“She would have loved you. Like I love you.”
Boston, Massachusetts, America, 2018.
Shane knows almost immediately that there’s going to be a lot of problems during their Boston v. Montreal game.
The Metros are all looking at him like he killed someone’s baby. The new captain they traded for and the couple of rookies they have seem just as confused as he is about the whole thing. A couple of them skate up to where he’s stretching.
“You train them like you did us?” One of the Metros (Johnston, a forgettable defenseman) snarls at him, confusing both the Raiders and their new captain.
Someone’s salty. Shane wonders if the team just miss him, the Metros haven’t been that good since he left. Or maybe they miss him for another reason.
Shane’s wasn’t blind to the way they used to look towards him before they did anything. Like they wanted him to choose for them. Or like they wanted him to approve of their decision. Sometimes it wasn’t even hockey related.
“Yeah,” Shane says “they listen better though. Don’t have to beat them like I did you.” And woof, that hits a nerve. He’s not sure why, maybe Johnston’s mad he basically said the Raiders were better or maybe it’s reminding that Shane’s no longer around to beat them.
He drops his gloves, which is bold to do before the game has even started, and punches Shane in the face. He doesn’t get far, Marleau pulls him away and lands his own punch. Ilya’s pulling Shane back and checking him over.
But he just smiles at Johnston despite how it makes the split in his lip burn.
“I’ve taught you well.” He says, “Not fighting during the game and disrupting it.” He grins and says “You’ve been such a good boy, Johnny!” He coos, lips pulling into a fake pout.
Johnston scoffs at him and pushes Marleau off him to skate back to the Montreal bench.
Shane can see Hayden and JJ trying to fight back laughs, they notice him looking and they all share knowing smiles.
He turns and sees Ilya smirking back at him. “What?” He asks with a laugh. “Nothing, malysh.” he says then leans over to kiss his helmet. They share a look and continue their stretches.
They’ve got a game to win after all.
Boston, Massachusetts, America, 2020.
Cliff Marleau is on the same team as Shane fucking Hollander!
God he can already see the cups coming their way.
They’re almost at the end of their season and while they’re not getting one just yet he knows it’s coming soon.
Being on the same team (and wow he’ll never get tired of saying that) as Hollander has really shown him a lot of things about him. Things that were never shared in his interviews or his documentary.
Like, for example, that he’s fucking insane!
Like, kind of in a good way? Well, no, kind of bad as well.
Bad in a really cool way.
One, Shane runs practice (and why does Roz, the captain, let him?) like the fucking navy. And two, Cliff truly thinks Hollander would kill someone over hockey.
And that’s not without reason! Hollzy himself said it! It came out of his own mouth! But if you ask Cliff he didn’t hear anything and he’s not talking to any cops!
They were having a real good season! It’s like having Hollzy on the team upped team morale. Having a hockey great on your team definitely makes you want to at least try to be great as well (everyone knows you can’t reach Shane Hollander level of greatness).
The game was Boston v. Montreal, and it was obvious to everyone with eyes and ears that the Metros hated Hollander’s decision to transfer to the Raiders.
They’re playing a pretty good game when one of the Metros, a left wing who has a first name as a last name (this matters to Cliff and only Cliff for reasons that are too long to get into right now. Just know he hates people who have first names as last names) decides to cross check Hollander. Worst part is the idiot doesn’t even end up doing anything at all. Not that he wants his new best bud (okay, they’re not best buds yet! They will be!) to get hurt but it’s just insanely embarrassing for that no-name player.
He almost feels bad for him.
He actually does feel bad for him when during the handshake line Hollzy, who’s directly in front of Cliff, grabs that same player and pulls him forward. He has a front row seat (read: he can perfectly hear) to Hollander telling him off.
“You do something like that again I’ll fucking kill you.” Well that’s not really telling him off… it’s a lot more like an actual, genuine, worrying threat.
He can’t see Hollzy’s face but whew is his tone scary, he’d hate to be on the receiving end of that! And it must suck ‘cause rando-player quickly pulls his arm back and skates away as fast as he can with all the other players still leaving the ice.
(And now, Cliff has heard that said about a million times on the ice. Not once has ever thought anyone actually meant it.
But seeing the way Hollander held on to that guy and said it in a way he meant for only that player to hear, not like the other guys who did it to seem cool or to show off, Cliff fears he might actually, like actually kill him.)
Cliff turns around to look at Roz who’s directly behind him. Roz looks absolutely unsurprised. He’s not shocked. He’s not confused. He’s not worried.
It makes him wonder how much Roz and Hollander know each other. They kind of seemed to click the moment they met on different footings. You’d think with all the rivalry talk it’d, at the very least, be awkward between them. But none of that happened! They’re the kind of best buds Cliff wants to be with Hollzy!
Anyway, while Cliff is a little scared of Hollander and will be very mindful to block other players trying to strike at him (he really doesn’t want blood on the ice…) he still likes the guy!
He just doesn’t really like when he tells him he skates like he just learned how to. (“Stop laughing Roz!”)
Boston, Massachusetts, America, 2021 and what’s to come.
It’s the best thing in the world, Shane and Ilya are both sure of it.
Screw winning the cups, playing on the same team as each other is better than they could’ve ever imagined. They’re constantly having the times of their lives.
Shane’s parents love Ilya, Rose loves Ilya, JJ loves Ilya, Hayden tolerates his existence, and Ilya’s closest friend, practically family, Svetlana, loves Shane.
They’re able to love each other loudly and openly.
They’d come out not long after Shane joined the Raiders, uncaring of the reaction (though it overwhelmingly positive) and just not wanting or willing to hide anymore.
They’d gotten married that July. They are Shane and Ilya Hollander-Rozanov .
And they’re ready to play some damn good hockey. (Though aren’t they always?)