Chapter Text
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Roman stepped back up to try again. And again. And again. After seven attempts, all of which ended in very painful death, they finally regrouped with the others, knowing they needed the help.
“Alright y'all, lay it on me,” Roman said tiredly. “Where am I going wrong here, got any ideas that could help?”
Remus didn't suggest just killing Sans himself again, meaning he probably understood what needed to happen. Virgil spoke up instead. “I was watching like you wanted, and uh- You move weirdly. Sometimes you'll barely shift and get hit practically point blank, and others you'll jump over something you could've stepped over and basically knock your head off on a ceiling bone. That's not even mentioning the times you hit your wings or tail on something.
Roman… nodded. They think they knew why, now that it'd been put like that. “I can probably fix that like this, honestly.” Roman shifted down, keeping their outfit mostly the same but becoming as small as they were the last time they fought the Judge and tucking away their extra parts.
The others were surprised at first, but soon Lumi recovered and pitched in, as well. “I don't have the skills to heal you as much as you need. Somehow, you need a better way to heal than relying on me alone.”
“Well, let's have that be Patton's job! ReRe, teach Padre how to summon healing items while putting intent into them.”
“Why am I teaching him!?”
“Because you know how to do it?”
“Ugggghhhhhhh, FINE, but it's gonna take a fucking while!”
“Good enough!” Roman said, hands on their hips. The effect was probably diminished by their current height, but it was fine. They had a skeleton to fight.
“Would having a weapon not make this easier, Roman?” Janus asked exasperatedly, and Roman considered it. Technically, maybe, but it was Sans. A weapon without some helpful effect wouldn't do much. Hm. Actually…
“Well, it might! Take some intent lessons of your own and put something cool and helpful on a weapon for me?”
“Alright.” The two nodded at each other and Roman took a few deep breaths to prepare themself. This might just work! First though, a break was in order.
Everyone worked on their tasks, side by side. Lumi and Eliza gave a rundown of everything they could do to Virgil and how long they needed to cool down afterwards, and Remus taught Patton and Janus how to pack as much intent as possible into an item they were making and bind it with magic. Roman, on the other hand, had to relearn how to properly move and dodge in their childhood body.
Virgil and the girls successfully made signals for quicker communication without distracting Roman, Patton had created a large pile of healing food comprised of cookies and pastries, Janus had created weapons with a few different effects when used, and Roman was as practiced as they could get without something to actually dodge. Roman filled their inventory with snacks, picked out a weapon that offered a one-time shield each time it was charged up, and saved over all of their efforts.
They were as ready as they'd ever be. Once more, they threw themself into battle, immediately getting farther than they'd gotten yet. It was hard, harder than they remembered it being. They slowly improved, but each time they made just enough mistakes that they inevitably died. They mistimed a jump and their ribcage crumpled on the final hit. They fell off a bony platform and were impaled in several places. They didn't move fast enough and a blaster incinerated the last of their health. They moved too fast and tripped into a bone, snapping their neck.
Each time, they got closer to the end, until, finally, they were farther than ever. Sans was a little tired. Roman was too. That was fine. Finally, for the thirteenth time, Roman swung their weapon. It didn't connect. This wasn't that kind of end.
“you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, huh?”
They didn't. Roman fucking hated it. They never wanted to hurt anyone like this again, but their memories were forcing them to at least pretend to try.
“listen. i know we've tried this before, but…” That line might've been different. That was okay, Roman was different, too. And this was just a memory, mostly. They didn't fully remember everything Sans said here.
“somewhere in there. i can feel it. there's a glimmer of the person my bro saw in you.” That was definitely different. “the memory of someone who can do better than this. someone who, in another time, might have even been… a friend? c’mon, buddy. you remember me, yeah? please, kid… let's forget all this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and… well, you know how this goes.”
Roman carefully laid down the weapon Janus made them, and the charge waiting to make them a new shield fizzled out before it could form. They stepped forward shakily, incredibly low on health. They nodded, and they nearly cried when they saw Sans open his arms in offer of a hug. This wasn't the real Sans, but they missed their big brother, and they really wanted that fucking hug.
Sans wrapped his arms around them, and it smelled like ketchup, grease, and home. “there it is. finally. buddy. pal. i know how hard it must've been. to make that choice. even when you know what happens next. i want you to know… i won't let it go to waste.”
Roman sniffled, trying to hold back tears and get ready for what was meant to happen.
“let it out, pal.” Given permission, Roman, for the first time in a while, cried freely. They ducked their face into his chest, happy to be held by him one last time. And then bones came up from the floor, angled perfectly to deal a near instant killing blow, despite Sans’s low damage.
As they died again, Roman heard Sans’s voice. “you tried, kid. you got us out, and then you didn't come back. you’re a good friend.”
Roman opened their eyes to the judgement hall, this time with a green door at the end of it, and no Sans. They did it. Their legs gave out and they sat down.
“Roman!? What was that, are you okay?! Here, this one heals the most, I think-”
“I'm fine, Padre, I-”
“What were you thinking!?” Ah! Well, Lumi was pissed. “You just- just killed yourself!? Just like that!? No warning, no ‘hey, maybe you guys have a better idea than blinding killing myself?!?’ What is WRONG with you!?!”
“It-! It's the only way to end that fight other than killing him! I'm not killing Sans again, real or not! Besides, I…” Roman took a deep breath, and Lumi followed. “Look, I know he was just a memory telling me what I wanted to hear, but…”
“You still needed to hear it,” Eliza said, stepping up and putting a comforting hand on Lumi's shoulder. “That's understandable, but we would have appreciated a warning. Judging by the door over there, this helped?”
“It did. Closure, y'know?”
The others all nodded, albeit reluctantly for some of them. Roman took an offered pastry and thought about what the memory of Sans said. Originally, when Roman tried to spare Sans there, he said that if they were really his friend, they wouldn't come back. They hadn't been thinking of that when they and Remus had used DETERMINATION to will themselves permanently dead, but they did follow his advice regardless.
They left, and they didn't come back. They gave up their power over others and, despite setbacks, misunderstandings, and bad choices, they did their job as a Side. Roman lost a lot, when they died that final death, comfortable in their bed next to their “twin”. They even lost Chara. But they finally proved that they were better than before, finally proved that Papyrus really was right about them. And they gained so much! They had a family in the other Sides, too. They were happy. They were loved. They were good, because they were finally trying to be.
Soon, Remus would cave and go through his door. Soon, Roman would need to be there for their brother. They would do everything they could to help him. And that would be enough. They could never undo the fact that Sans began to remember, nor that they had tormented him, Chara, and Remus, but all three had forgiven them long ago. The final affected person to forgive Roman wasn't a victim. It was themself.
Roman had already atoned for what they did. It had been, quite possibly, over 100 years of atoning. Only now had they truly confronted their guilt over it. They no longer had to worry about the others despising them, no longer had the underlying fear that they weren't all that different and might snap and hurt someone they loved. Their nightmares were just that, and Thomas had nothing to learn from them. Their SOUL settled, and so did Thomas's mind.