Chapter Text
Oh yeah, funky baby. We are going to die here and rot ‘till our core…
The water kept running but all Valentino could do was stare at it. His subconsciousness was right; he didn't have any courage to look at himself in the mirror… He has a hard time breathing as if every single oxygen atom drained out of air. He was breathing but no matter how much he took inside his lungs it wasn't enough… He was drowning while breathing. Anxiety attack? Maybe… It didn't feel similar to a heart attack though. It was more like a sudden wave of exhaustion that took out every little life out of him. His knees slowly folded as he finally sat beside the sink’s pipes. He pressed his back against the hospital's dirty bathroom walls.
As Valentino's mind wrapped itself around painful memories, tears he promised himself that he would never allow to form again began to return.
***
A banging on the door. Then another. Then another… He was scratching the other side of the door. Trying to get out like a trapped cat. Valentino didn't even care if this was wrong he had to keep him inside. No matter what. Uccio was out of the country and Luca was with their mother so they were alone in the house. There was no one that could save him from there. Valentino stared at his bedroom’s door as if it was the only way that could make Marc stay with him forever.
“Please, Valentino. Open the door.” Marc was crying. “Open the door. I just want to go see Alex. I promise I won't do anything. I will return immediately… Please… It’s been so long” Valentino heard him drop to his knees. He could open the door and take Marc to Alex himself but he was so scared of losing him again…
“How will I know that you won’t go to Lorenzo?” Valentino leaned against the door.
“God… Lorenzo is with Dani. Why would I go to him? I just want to see Alex… Please, Vale” Marc hit his hand on the door one last time. He knew that Valentino's paranoia would never let him go that easily…
Uccio was right… Even though he kept saying he only cared about Valentino's reputation, Marc was now aware of the fact that he was actually scared of something like this might happen. Again actually… Because he was the one who took him to hospital when Valentino got so paranoid again and accidentally hit Marc with his elbow while trying to stop him from leaving the ranch… God, there was so much blood… No matter what they did they couldn't stop Marc's nose from bleeding. So Uccio drove him to the emergency care while Luca tried to stop his brother. During the whole ride Aleccio’s eyes never turned towards Marc but Marc could see his knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. He was mad. Marc never thought Aleccio would get Valentino about something he did to Marc.
“I told him to stop smoking that shit multiple times. Look where he took us too…” He was cursing under his breath while doctors were looking if Marc's nose was broken. Thankfully it wasn't…
***
Weren't you the one who mocked Marc for fighting with his inner voice? You are doing the same thing now. How pathetic you are. Are you just copying him or is this just another way of grief haunting you? Hmm… Probably both then…
Valentino's subconsciousness suddenly fell into a deep silence. As if it was thinking… The only thing Valentino could feel was the throbbing of his temples. He had a terrible headache. And the hospital's flashing lights weren't helping at all. He squeezed his temples as hard as he could but the relief was only for a millisecond.
“Abstinence syndrome…” Valentino's vision was blurry so he couldn't see his face properly but the voice definitely belonged to James. “Here… (He threw him a bottle of pills that Valentino failed to catch on time) It's just magnesium, nothing fancy.”
Valentino crashed some pills between his teeth. The taste wasn't so pleasant. It tasted like lime stone…
He’s judging you. He doesn't understand why anyone would be a junkie. He thinks you are pathetic—
“I'm sort of an alcoholic myself so I always have those on me… Helps with the headache, you know…” Valentino's vision was getting better.
“I found the key to the basement…” The key jiggled in James' hand when he raised it high.
“Tell me…” Valentino hardly swallowed, his mouth was dry as desert and his voice was barely a whisper.
“What?” James’ metal pipe hit the floor.
“Tell me about him… Something… Anything…” He took a deep painful breath though his nose.
“I’m not going to tell you shit about Marc, Rossi”
“Please… I need to know…”
James took a deep wheezing breath. “We need to separate at some point. Even if we don't want to, the town is going to separate us anyway… This is a path all of us need to walk alone…” James changed the subject then studied Valentino for a second.
“This is not what I wanted to hear you asshole—”
“Do you have a lighter by any chance?” James studied his face.
“What?” Valentino wrinkled his face with confusion.
“A lighter? Do you have a lighter?” He took a pack of crushed cigarettes from his pocket and shook it.
Valentino scoffed and rummaged through his pockets. After a few seconds of searching he managed to find the neon yellow lighter. He threw it to James which James managed to catch successfully even though Valentino's throw was ass.
He took out the least crushed cigarette in the box and lit it. He held it between his teeth for a while before finally taking a breath.
“Really? Smoking inside a hospital bathroom?” Valentino laughed, sounded more like wheezing tho. “Do you have more by any chance?”
“It’s abandoned anyway…” James breathed out. He threw back the lighter to Valentino. This time Valentino managed to catch it.
“Find your own damn cigarettes, Rossi. I‘m not going to give you even a breath.” James fell into a deep silence once again.
“I think he blames himself” James licked his lips.
Valentino's eyes widened in shock. “What? Why?”
“How the hell do I know? I’m not inside his brain” He took another deep breath through his cigarette.
Valentino opened his mouth to protect but nothing came out. Afterall James was right.
“I need to find Mary…” James looked directly into Valentino’s eyes.
“I already know that you told me when we first met–”
“We need to go…Come on.” James disappeared with huge steps.
***
“When I was young, I was a big fan of yours. I mean I still am but back in the day I even started fights over you” Marc laughed. The sunset’s soft and silky light was caressing his face carefully. Making his freckles and dimples even more visible. His eyes were shining like liquid gold. That was the thing that captured Valentino's soul the most.
Oh sweet little angel… Why did you leave me out of here all alone during this cold?
***
“Maybe we can get that elevator work if we can find some fuel for this generator” Maria was right, they started looking for an empty container to put fuel in it.
James managed to find an empty fuel tank after some searching. There was only some fuel in it.
Well… Actually there wasn't much to tell anyway they managed to get that elevator work.
“Where now?” Valentino looked at James.
“Second floor…” James pressed the button and the elevator started working with a horrible noise.
The smell of rain carried a bit of hope and freedom inside it. Valentino walked towards the broken window. The whitewood tree that was planted right before the window was reaching towards the sky and some rebellious branches of the tree were desperate to touch Valentino's face. Vale reached with just pure instinct and touched the wet leaves of the tree. It was slippery and almost soapy maybe. He caressed the leaf between his fingers.
I’m tired, Vale… I can't fit in… I can't squeeze in… I can't fit inside my shelfs… My room… My house… My own family… My city… My country… I can't fit inside my body… My mind… I can't fit inside the Honda team… I can't fit inside this damn sport… I can't fit inside your heart… I can't fit inside my own life…
Marc’s sobs hugged everything inside and outside of Valentino. Gently but also while pressing salt onto his wounds. He could almost feel Marc's breath above his hair or his neck… So carefully loving him… It was cold… It was so damn cold again… The rain was slowly turning into snow again. Valentino's breath was adding some more blur inside the already soup deep fog. But somewhere not so far from here an angel was singing… His fingers were moving elegantly above the ivory keys of an old veteran piano… Valentino could swear to god he was seeing him licking his dried lips and moisturising them while still singing a hymn of rebirth…
Aren’t you made out of your mother too?.. Then why do you only act like Graziano?
But his subconsciousness’ talk cut short by Francesca’s voice.
“Maria, are you okay?” Francesca’s voice was so far away even though she was just a few steps behind Valentino. His mind was somewhere else. The voices around him were just a haze. The only thing he could focus on was the leaves of the whitewood.
“Maria is not okay… Francesca will stay with her. I will continue to try to find Laura… Come with me if you want” James walked away without waiting for Valentino's answer.
“What if you can't find Mary? What will you do then?”
“I will find Mary.” James didn't leave any place for an argument.
***
Things got way too fucked up with the speed of light. James and Valentino had just found the key to the director's room and entered, when a horde of creatures attacked them.
“J-James?” Valentino turned towards the half-conscious man with terror. He was covered in blood and barely breathing.
“I-I…. I told you…” He coughed up a handful of blood. “That… We should separate…”
“You are talking nonsense because of blood loss—”
“NO—” James held his chest. “I’m serious Rossi. There is something wrong with this town and it's not just the monsters.” James stood up while still holding his chest. “Damn… I shouldn't have give you those magnesium tablets”
“James, your heart rate doesn't feel right… Do you have heart problems?”
James stopped for a second and looked away. “Nothing serious,I just got frightened. I will be fine if I manage to find some medicine. There must be some in the pharmacy” James seemed to hate talking about this. A lot.
“I think you should rest a bit… You are sweating” Valentino forced him to sit down. “I will find you something”
“No… Don't come back… I will be fine. Just let me stop a bit” James forced a smile. “We need to separate our ways… You need to find Marc and I need to find Mary. We can't continue together. Our purposes are different. Why would we continue together? We are just pulling each other down at this point.” James stopped and gave out a bitter laugh. “Yeah… And… Sorry that I plucked your already thinning hair.”
Valentino gave him a side eye before leaving…
***
Valentino found himself wandering around like a fool again…
“What are you doing, Bambino?..” Graziano was leaning against the doorframe .
Valentino remembered how he smiled at him with his missing teeth then how quickly he dropped his toy train and ran into his arms. Graziano smelled like cheap wine and sadness. How could he know at that age that this was also his future self’s smell?..
“Papa… You came back.” He buried his face against Graziano’s wrinkled shirt.
“Yeah… Vale…” Graziano held Valentino’s face. He was having a hard time talking as if something was stuck in his throat. “There is something I need to tell you… I need to go again and I won’t come back for a while”
Valentino was crying, kicking and breaking things. Though nothing worked his father went away again. Stefania seemed so hollow. She even looked kinda relieved…
They separated 4 years later…
He arrived at the cafeteria. Everything was just as expected. There was nothing but a humming coming from afar.
“Oh… Hi Mar… I thought you went to find Valentina” Saying her name made Valentino feel uncomfortable. It was awkward saying his own name but with just one letter different…
“Hmm? Oh… Yeah I did but I couldn’t find her…” Mar was playing with his rifle’s wooden part. Valentino was pretty sure that was unsafe even though that part wasn’t connecting to the firing mechanism.
Valentino sat next to Mar on the floor. “You know… You really shouldn’t play with a gun.. It’s dangerous.”
Mar looked at the rifle then looked at Valentino again. “I’m not playing with it. I’m taking care of it. It’s important…”
Valentino hummed. “Why? It's just a gun”
“Marc gave that to me. So I can protect myself against Valen. So if she gets uncanny again, I won't get hurt…”
“Marc gave you that? Marc had a rifle— Wait what do you mean by ‘uncanny’?”
“Yea he had a chainsaw and a rifle. He gave me the rifle saying that I clearly need that way more than him… Hmm oh… She becomes… I don't know, scary… Like possessed or something. Her eyes get so big and red then she starts acting like a rabid animal… ” Mar forced open his eyes with his fingers while describing her. “You know that red light in her eyes right? Like a… Killer gaze… That thing veils her entirely… As if I mean…”
Valentino just listened to Mar in silence. “I think you should come with me… This place is dangerous. With a gun or not.” Valentino stood up and held his hand towards Mar expecting him to take it.
“Hmm… No… I don't trust you… But… If you do something for me then I can consider it…” Mar gave him an artificial looking smile.
“What kind of thing?”
“I left something on the rooftop. I need you to go get it for me…”
“What kind of thing?” Valentino didn't seem very interested in the idea but if he could convince Mar to come with him he could find some information about Marc.
“You will know when you see it” Mar smiled again. Mar took out an old rusty key out of his pocket and gave it to Valentino. “Don't forget to bring the key back… I will be waiting”
***
Getting on the rooftop wasn't that hard even though he had to find the way to the second elevator in order to reach the 3rd floor. The rooftop’s first door was already open. Valentino slowly climbed the unsafe looking rusted stairs and reached the top. He put the key inside the door and turned it. It didn't turn at first because of rust he had to force it but he managed to make it work.
The door opened suddenly with an extreme wind. Valentino almost got hit by the door and fell down the stairs. But the door grazed him by a few millimeters. A sudden wave of cold weather bit Valentino's skin. The snow was already reaching to his ankles. He started looking around trying to find what Mar had left but the snow was too thick.
Then… A plastic box caught his eye… With his signature on it… It was under the elevator control shed’s roof. Standing on the floor untouched by the snow… It was a replica of his rally car… Shit… That was Marc’s… He recognised that immediately. He had looked at their photo together with that box online way more than he could think of… Uccio even called him a creep because of that. Apparently looking at you and your ex’s photo was creepy. “Because Marc was still underage at the time”... God… Alessio was over thinking everything again.
He picked up the box. As his thumb traced over his signature, he felt warmth dripping from his eyes. Oh… He was crying again…
Marc's mp3 player started buzzing again which meant something was coming. Tho… Valentino definitely didn't expect a sudden gun shot coming from the shed. The bullet made a hole on the shed’s door and missed Valentino's face just by a centimeter. Then heavy metal covered army boots take down the door.
“Hello Vale…” Valentina was smiling like a creepy old man through the broken door. Mar was right about that “killer gaze” in her eyes. Because whatever that red light was it was making her entire iris red now. Not brown red… Bright, disturbing, bloody red… Just like those red squares Valentino keeps seeing… Just like Ducati leathers, something whispered inside him… Just like Marc's reflection… Valentino started running towards the door.
“Oh come on, Vale. I just want to play!” She fired the gun again. “Don't force me to shoot you!” Valentina got in front of the door with a godly amount of speed.
“Give me the relic back, Vale and I won't hurt you…”
“Relic? What relic?” Valentino was confused. But he didn't stop running, he just started going towards the right.
“THE RALLY CAR YOU DUMBASS! GIVE IT BACK!” Valentina sprinted towards him again.
Valentina tried to get the car back but Valentino dodged her but this action cost him to fall down the rooftop. Apparently… Those metal guardrails were already retired…
The pain was insufferable… His head was sipping and blood was everywhere… He took out one of the syringes James gave to him. James was right, it's things were actually working. Once his vision returned he started walking again in order to reunite with Mar.
The metal taste of blood was still there. He must have bitten his tongue once fell down the rooftop. He was in the garden area of the hospital. At least all his teeth were intact. That was a releaf…
He climbed on to a window to get inside again. He was inside the pharmacy now. He thought of finding medicine for James but considering the fact that Valentina was after this sounded like a bad idea. She could start following James too. Instead he pushed the door open with his last remaining strength and started moving towards the cafeteria again.
“Vale!” Francesca’s voice was shaking. “Vale oh thank god I found you” She hugged him. “Sorry… I just got excited…”
“Oh hi Francesca…” Valentino didn't seem so happy to see her. Though it was understandable considering the fact that he completely forgot about her existence.
“What happened to you? You look like a track went over you.” Francesca tried to touch his face but Valentino stepped back.
“Anyway… I need to go”
“Anyway? What do you mean anyway? I almost got killed there. I got separated from Maria. She must have been so scared. Poor thing… We must find her. Where is James?” Francesca followed Valentino with quick steps.
“Uhhh I don't know where he is. He wanted to go his own way.” Valentino ignored the comments about Maria.
“Aren't you listening to me?!” Francesca grabbed him by the wrist.
“Stop it. Let me go—”
The elevator's doors clicked and opened slowly.
“Why are you running, Vale? I just want to talk” Valen gave him a warm smile.
“Shit… Francesca run!”
They started running. Valentina wasn't aiming at them but she was still shooting the walls so it was dangerous.
“Come on! The cafeteria doors are made out of metal”
“Vale— I—” Valentina shot her by the ankle.
“Come on!”
But Francesca couldn't catch up with Valentino…
A sharp, ear drum tearing gun shot… Then a complete silence… Valentino's body was moving on his own. He felt like he was moving underneath the water. He had no idea how fast he managed to get a metal pipe and get it through the door handles… He managed to block the door. But the scene of Francesca getting shot was still playing before his eyes.
“I’m taking this then…” Mar took the rally car. He didn't seem shocked or scared by Francesca dying at all. “She will probably crawl through the window. I can distract her while you run away.” Mar forced another key in Valentino's hand. “It's the front door’s…”
Valentino was still in shock. He couldn't move at first but he pulled himself together once Mar hit his feet on the ground to catch his attention.
“You need to be so quick. She is fast. Way more than you can imagine…”
Mar pulled out a knife and cut his own palm.
“What the hell are you doing, Mar?!” But Mar cut him off.
“I know her… She will stay with me if she sees I got hurt.” Mar pushed him. “Come on go!”
Valentino pulled the metal pipe and opened the doors again and started running towards the front door with all his might. He could still hear what was going on in the cafeteria. At first there was a glass breaking sound then Mar’s crying.
“Valen… I cut my hand” He was sobbing. Damn that kid definitely deserved an Oscar…
Then Valentina immediately stopped to take a look at his wound…
Valentino opened the front door and started running down the street…