Chapter Text
Alpha sat in front of me with a knowing look. A look that I hadn't seen on his face. I turned my back and looked somewhere else, but his reaction got into my mind, so I turned to him.
"He is not that, Odt. I already told you last time."
"What? I didn't say or mention anything, nor anyone."
His pitch was slightly higher, liar! Alpha flashed me his sly smile. I scoffed at what he told me and rolled my eyes.
"No, really. Who was it?"
"Who is?" Ozone asked as he took a seat beside Alpha.
I furrowed my brows as I witnessed how Alpha folded for Ozone.
I really don't get people who are in love.
He smiled at Ozone and scooted closer to his crush and nuzzled his shoulder. At this point, he'll be making puppy noises.
"Right." Ozone uttered, "There's a new student on campus, and I think he'll be joining the basketball team. I'm not really sure."
"You shouldn't be talking or looking at other people, Ozone. My heart will not take it. I'll cry." Alpha acted all hurt, clutching his chest as he lowered his head and faked a cry.
"Then cry!" I scowled at him.
Ozone just smiled at us as Alpha and I banted. I noticed that he was looking for something on his phone, and when he found it, he showed it to us. My eyes widened when I recognized who the person was on Ozone's phone.
"IT WAS HIS! IT'S HIM, IS IT? PIK, IT'S HIM!" Alpha stood up and pointed at Ozone's phone, which he was now holding, shoving it in my shocked face, which answered his curiosity.
I pulled Alpha back to sit because people were starting to look at us.
"Who?" Ozone asked. Alpha faced him and told Ozone what he saw yesterday. I just sat there listening to him talk. Ozone listened well to Odt rambling about what happened yesterday.
"So, you guys are together?"
I quickly turned my head, because how did Ozone come up with that conclusion? Was that his takeaway from Alpha's story? I sighed and moved closer to the lovebirds to contain an outburst that might happen from our conversation.
"He pulled me from a supposed accident."
"Accident?" Alpha asked.
My eyes dropped on Alpha's hand, now on top of Ozone's, massaging his palm. I rolled my eyes and nodded to his question. "I was at the rooftop yesterday, getting some air." Alpha looked at me, side-eyeing what I said. "I think I walked on the edge a little too close, and he pulled me."
"We just talked a bit— well, he scolded, but yeah. We just talked."
"Oho!" I reacted when Alpha slapped my wrist.
"Your love interest is walking this way."
"He is not."
We all saw Yohwan walking to where we were seated.
"Hey," Yohwan greeted.
"Hey," I smiled at him as he was about to take a seat a bit farther when Ozone spoke, "You can sit beside Pik. No one's even beside him."
Alpha nodded and teased me.
I watched the three of them, but they looked so awkward. God, they're not talking to each other. I cleared my throat and was about to open a topic when someone called my name and Alpha's.
"Al! Pik!" I turned my head to a familiar voice and saw our brothers. They all looked like they had business here in the university. They greeted Yohwan and Ozone and made a wai.
"Ozone, Yohwan," I heard Al whisper Yohwan's name as he looked at me. I just rolled my eyes and introduced them to our Phi's.
"They're our members. P'Yim," I pointed to P'Yim.
"P'James," then at P'James.
"And P'Tutor," lastly to P'Tutor.
"Are you guys in a boy group?" Alpha and I nodded. "Last full month of being trainees," Alpha answered.
Yohwan nodded and turned around, rummaging in his bag. He smiled and held out a notebook at me, "Can I get an autograph then?"
"For?"
"Keepsake. So when you guys get famous, I can sell your signature." They all looked at Yohwan with utter disbelief. I hesitantly took the notebook and pen from him. I studied his face to see if he was bluffing, but I guess not.
"Are you really going to sell his signature?" P'Yim asked Yohwan.
"I'm just joking!" He took his notebook and kept it… close to his heart? Are they teasing me? Alpha, he sure is teasing me! Knowing that guy, he didn't even let me live when he knew that I liked Jai, let alone Yohwan doing this.
I will not hear from him again. God help me!
"I'll be your first official fan." Yohwan giddily said and smiled at me. He has such a beautiful smile. I'll give him that.
"Fan?" P'James asked Yohwan. His downward smile had told me a lot without even telling me. I'll be the topic later at practice.
"Fan, Phi!" Alpha clarified.
"Right. We visited because there'll be an event here next week, I think. We're going to perform." I noticed P'Tutor was finding something… or someone.
"Where's Jai?" He asked.
I shrugged. I don't even know where he was or what he's doing right now, NOR do I mind where he is. I know he is out there flirting with whoever again.
Al tapped my lap and pointed at his phone. I took mine and opened my messages.
I could only shake my head at what Alpha messaged me. We still don't even know who Yohwan is, and he's already pushing me to move on from Jai.
To which I should really be doing.
I'm just too stubborn for myself.
For my own good.
For my heart.
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
I haven't seen Jai all day. He may be your stereotypical playboy, but he doesn't skip classes. As much as I hate seeing him with different ugly Pokemon each day. I'd rather see him with ugly Pokemon than— nope. I don't want him absent or with different people.
"Did Jai go to practice already? He wasn't inside the class."
"Not yet. If he was, he'll for sure be messaging the group chat or the Phi's will." Alpha said. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed his number.
"Is he answering?" He asked. I shook my head and tried to reach him again. But he didn't pick up.
I glanced at the time flashing on the screen of my phone and decided to go to his condo; maybe he's there. Maybe he's just asleep. Alpha watched my action and just sighed. Aside from Jai, he knows me all too well.
"I'll try his condo. Maybe he just fell asleep."
"What if you saw him hanging out with a different 'Pokemon' this time?"
"I can handle it, Al." I smiled at him. "It's Jai we're talking about; that's not old news anymore."
I know he can feel the hurt in my voice, but I must stand on my feet. And as Jai's friend, I have to check on him and make sure he's alright, that he's still alive.
Alpha sighed and just nodded. I walked—ran to his condo; thank god he lives near the university. When I arrived, the security guard saw me. I greeted him and pressed the button to go up. My hands were shaking when I pressed it. I was scared of what I'd see. But I will always be there for him even if it hurts.
I will always run to him even if it hurts me.
And that's dumb for someone like me.
I rang his doorbell and waited for him to open the door, but he didn't, so I used my spare key to open it. With a heavy heart, I opened the door.
With every step I took, my heart got heavier. And people say it's the horror movies that make you feel this way. How your heart pounds in your chest, how loud it gets. How each step becomes too careful, because one wrong step and you're done for.
This is my horror movie.
"Hello? Jai?" Okay, no one answered. No ugly Pokémon answered, so we're clear, right?
I'm at his door, clutching my chest. I'm so scared. Every what-if I could think of right now, even those that I didn't know would come to mind, I'm thinking of them right now. I closed my eyes, calmed myself down, and knocked.
The door opened, slowly revealing what I was dreading to see. Please be Jai, please be Jai.
Please be Jai. I closed my eyes, scared of what was waiting for me in his room.
"Pik," He said a bit nasally. "What are you doing here?"
I placed the back of my hand on his forehead, and he was burning. My gaze fell on his other hand holding an empty glass; was he going out to get water? Can he even be out of bed right now?
I opened the door, dragged him out of the room, and made him sit down on the sofa. I entered his room and took out the air purifier that I pestered him to buy just in case… and also turned on the air humidifier in his room.
There were no signs of ugly Pokemon inside his room. That's a relief!
"Since when are you sick?" I asked when I went out to grab the basin in his bathroom.
"Yesterday." He answered. His eyes were droopy, and maybe his head was also aching. I didn't answer him and walked towards the kitchen to fill the basin with water.
Went to his room again and took out a small towel I could put on his forehead and wipe him down.
I made him lie down on the sofa as I attended to him. He becomes this big of a baby whenever he gets sick, and yet he doesn't take good care of himself… I am mothering Jai again.
"Don't even smile at me right now, Jaijai. You're sick. Just drink the medicine." I held the fever medicine in front of his mouth to make sure he drank it because he can be too stubborn.
He opened his mouth, and I popped the medicine in and gave him a glass of water to wash it down. Jai lied down. I wiped him down with the damp towel.
He nuzzled the cold towel that went near his cheek and cooed. Such a baby!
"You're taking care of me, Pik. How can I not smile?"
"Yeah, your best friend's taking care of you." He shook his head and held my hand. What's that supposed to mean? You're reading into it, Pik.
"Pik,"
"Pik… my Pik." My Pik?
"Can I not share you? Can't you just be mine, Pik? Can Pik not smile at other people but Jai?"
He's being delirious. How can he tell me that? This, this is just fever talk. I can't always run back to him as if I don't get hurt every time he's with a different person every fucking day.
"That's just your fever talking, Jai." I placed the towel on his forehead and made sure it stayed there.
I was about to stand up when he pulled my arm. Is he really sick? He's still strong for someone who has a high fever. He intertwined his hand with mine and held it close to him. I could feel his body burning; he really has a fever.
"Don't leave me, Pik. Please." He whispered.
I watched him doze off when the medicine took effect, and I could only sigh. I nodded, agreeing to what he just said.
"You don't even have to tell me twice or a million times, Jai. I will always run back to you. I am that stupid when it comes to you. And you're too blind not even to notice it."
"You're too unfair. Play the game fair, Jai. So if I lose, I'll cry about it. And if you lose… I hope it hurts."
I updated our group chat with the Phis and told them that I won't be making the practice later. Then I received a message from Al.
I didn't reply to Alpha's message and just sighed.
"Huh!" A tear fell, and I immediately wiped it. Jai might wake up and see me, and I don't want him to see me crying for him like some lovesick fool.
I stood up, carried the basin back to the sink, and threw the water. I opened his room and tidied a little when a photo grabbed my attention.
Last day of high school. Our uniforms had scribbles and letters from our classmates; some were confessions, and some were encouragements.
"You could literally see my handwriting on your uniform." There was a heart beside my confession—a red heart sticker. I looked at it closely…I don't remember if I stuck it there or not.
I looked at our photo together and saw handwriting on my uniform, but I couldn't figure out what was written on it.
"Guess I'll go home when I have time to check what's on it." I pointed to the writing on my high school uniform.
"Pik," I placed the picture frame back and went out of his room. I sat on the edge of the sofa and looked at Jai, opening his eyes. "We have practice today; you didn't go?"
"I was about to fetch you if you ever overslept again, but I didn't know you were sick. Were you rained on?"
He shook his head and dropped the towel on his forehead to the side.
"Were you out in the sun for too long? I know you get bad headaches when you're out in the sun for too long."
He opened his arms and tapped the space beside him. "Pik, question me later naa. Sing me to sleep." He pouted.
"My head hurts, Pik." His eyes were closed as he pouted. His arms were still opened wide, waiting for me to get in them.
"What do you want?"
"Hug."
"Your head hurts, and you want a—" I'm now lying on top of him. I'm lying on top of Jai. My head. Is. On. Jai's chest. I can literally hear his heartbeat. My head is on top of Jai's heart. I'm lying on his heart.
"See. You shut up."
He pulled me close to him, and I could feel my breath getting caught up in my throat. We're too close. We slept together, in the same bed. Face to face? I think so, because we were sleeping. But fully awake and aware… my heart will not take us being this close. Liquid courage would, but sober? I just can't.
Jai whined when I pushed him away, so he pulled me even closer. What does he want? For us to morph together?
"You don't smile like that, Pik. Why do you smile like that, Pik?" He moved. I could feel his lips on my cheeks.
I'm feeling hot.
"I can't share my Pik with anyone. Jai can't let anyone have his Pik. They have to find their own." A tear welled up in his eyes. I clutched my hand into a fist, hesitating whether I should wipe it or let it drop.
Of course, I wiped it.
"You can't let Jai—this person- cry, and yet you let yourself cry over Jai. You're cliché, Sanit."
"Once your fever's gone, you'll go back ranting about your flings, not me smiling at other people. You won't see me again, like you always do. I'm only in your line of sight whenever you need help getting away from your two-timing schemes."
"And it's so sad for me that I let myself do it, you know," I whispered, a confession that I have been feeling. Feelings that I can't let him know, because if I do, I'll end up losing him. But it's only the tip of the iceberg. It's still a shallow pain from the never-ending hurt I'm feeling.
"Jai has always loved Pik. Jai doesn't know how to tell Pik, because Jai is scared Pik will leave him. Jai is scared that Pik will not love Jai because Jai is a player in Pik's eyes. Jai is scared of losing Pik if Jai and Pik break up."
And here I am scared that you'll push me away because I liked you too much.
His body got heavy. Finally, he's asleep. I sighed in defeat as I carefully removed his arm holding me.
"You'll be the death of me, Jaijai."
I went out for a while to buy some things. I'll just buy food and head back to his condo.
I looked back at the sofa where he was tucked to sleep; my heart dropped. If I leave this place, there's a possibility of him inviting one of his flings. I mustered every strength I have and left, locking the door behind me.
"If he ever invites one, I'll just leave the food on his front door. Wow, Pik! That's so grabfood of you!"
I headed to the nearest convenience store and bought water and some light snacks for myself. Thankfully, there's a food place that sells porridge—the only food Jai could definitely eat for now.
Inhale. Exhale.
I twist the doorknob open, carefully entering the unit. I checked the unit for any signs of anyone other than Jai. Checked his room, the bathroom, and even the balcony of his unit for anything. I turned around and glanced at Jai, still sleeping soundly on the sofa.
Placing the bag on the coffee table, I sat on the floor, my arms resting on the space he left on the sofa, and watched him sleep.
"You're so peaceful like this. It makes me want to take care of you." I brushed his hair away from his eyes. I know the porridge will be cold by the time I make Jai eat it, but I want to take in everything that is in front of me.
For this time only, he is mine, and I don't have to share him with anyone else. This person who's sleeping in this very room looked for me and not another person, even if I didn't attend our practice, because I ran to him as I always do whenever he needed me—even if he told me or not.
Even if maybe there's a potential love interest for me out there, I will always seek him out. I will always have him in my head and heart. He will always be the one I will like.
"However stupid I am, sadly, you will always have your Pik even if I don't have my Jai. I will always run to you."