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Dick’s been relatively quiet, watching the scenery go by with big eyes while he gums at his fist. Jason’s pretty sure he saw a few teeth, but he hasn’t really had much of a chance to check. When do babies’ teeth come in? He resolves to learn more about infant milestones when this crisis is over. Or, well, maybe sooner than later, depending highly on how long this crisis lasts.
Dick starts squirming halfway through the ride. Jason bounces him a little on his leg and talks to him, but the wriggling only escalates.
“Dickie, what’s wr--” Dick’s tiny body untenses all at once, and for a second Jason thinks the worst has happened and Dick has passed out, or... or. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he’s interrupted by the feeling of wetness spreading against his thigh. And, oh shit. Baby. Ah, well. Not much he can do about this.
Jason discreetly shifts Dick off of his lap and onto the seat next to him, letting him pee directly into the batmobile’s upholstery. B deserves to have his car pissed in after scaring the little guy anyway; this is just killing two birds with one stone. When it seems like Dick’s finished, Jason tucks him back into his lap, ignoring the growing wet spot. His pants have seen worse, and he’s sure they’ll see worse again many times before his career is over.
By the time they get to the Cave, Dick is whining and plucking at his soaked trousers. Jason ignores B completely as they exit the car, his focus on his tiny brother.
“I know it’s uncomfortable, baby, we’ll get you cleaned up, okay?” Suddenly Alfred is at his elbow. Blessed Alfred, the only other adult in the room now that Dick is a child.
“Oh my, Master Jason. Is that Richard?”
“Yeah, Alfie, he’s cute, right? Don’t suppose you have any kids' clothes around here?”
“Ah... I don’t believe so, but do let me check. I’ll return shortly.” Satisfied that someone competent is on the case, Jason disappears into the showers with an armful of wet baby brother.
He cleans Dick up first. When he’s squeaky clean, Jason bundles Dick on the floor in a towel like a burrito, his tiny face peeking out of the top. Luckily, it seems Dick is tuckered out from the night he’s had, so he dozes while Jason strips and takes the fastest shower of his life. When he heads out into the locker room, Alfred is there with a box of diapers and a t-shirt that’s small, but still far too big for now-Dick. And what looks like a tin of formula and a bottle. Thank god for Alfred.
“Alas, the all-night pharmacy did not have clothing available, so I fetched one of Master Dick’s old shirts from when he first came to us. I hope it’ll do for the night?” Jason slips the shirt over Dick’s head, and while it’s comically large, it stays on his body, and that’s good enough. Jason grabs a diaper from the pack.
“That’s great Alfie, thanks. Just let me get him in this and I’ll bring him out for testing.” Jason hesitates as Alfred turns to leave.
“Just... I think Bruce is having trouble. With Dick like this. Or maybe with kids in general. But help me keep an eye on him? I can only babysit one kid at a time.” Alfred frowns at the last part, but Jason’s too tired to pretend he wasn’t telling the truth. After a moment though, Alfred nods.
“I will, Master Jason.”