Chapter Text
Morning sunlight filters weakly through the windows, a stark contrast to the deep thunderclouds of the previous night.
Kaveh wakes first, head throbbing and mouth tasting like something died inside it. Fuck, did he really get that drunk last night?
Oh. The rain’s finally stopped.
He freezes. An arm— Alhaitham’s arm— wraps snugly around Kaveh’s waist, tangling their legs and tugging Kaveh flush against Alhaitham’s chest. He then realizes he’s not in his suit– he’s in Alhaitham’s sleepclothes.
For a moment, Kaveh just stares. When was the last time they were in bed together like this, no fucking, just holding each other?
I love you.
The memory seeps in before hitting him like a freight train. I love you, Alhaitham had said, in his low, warm voice as he stroked Kaveh’s hair— holy fucking shit. Kaveh racks his memory for any more hints but it only makes his head throb harder. Did Alhaitham really say that? Was it a dream? It had to be.
As if on cue, Alhaitham stirs, somehow unconsciously sensing Kaveh’s newfound tenseness.
“Mm… morning,” he grumbles into Kaveh’s shoulder, still half-delirious with sleep. “How are you feeling? You drank a lot last night.” He awkwardly tried to extract himself from Kaveh’s back. “ I’m going to get you some—”
“‘haitham,” Kaveh interjects, voice nearly shaking with panic. “What happened last night?”
Alhaitham freezes for a second, before clearing his throat. “I… left prom early and found you slumped over the couch with an empty Corona.” He props himself up onto his forearm to look down at Kaveh, who still has his back turned to hide his wide-eyed, panicked expression. “I gave you water, and— y’know, helped you get changed and out of your makeup, since I heard that sleeping in makeup can clog your pores and eventually lead to eye infection—”
“Alhaitham.” Kaveh cuts in firmly. Full name. Not ‘haitham.“What did you say to me last night?”
For several long seconds, Alhaitham doesn’t answer.
Kaveh almost wishes he hadn’t asked. Maybe it had been a dream, a cruel, tantalizing invention of the drunken mind. An invention of the one thing Kaveh wanted most.
“…You were drunk and half-asleep,” Alhaitham says at last, his voice measured. “I didn’t think you heard.”
Kaveh squeezes his eyes shut. His heart pounds so violently in his chest it almost hurts.
“So you did say something to me last night.”
Alhaitham exhales through his nose. “...Yes.”
“...Well?” Kaveh squeezes his eyes shut in panicked anticipation. “What did you say?”
Alhaitham doesn’t say anything for what feels like a lifetime, refusing to meet Kaveh’s eyes. The silence is deafening, the tension so unbearably palpable that Kaveh could cut it with a knife. Would you say something, you selfish asshole?! Kaveh wanted to scream at him.
When Kaveh is certain he’s about to be left hanging, Alhaitham speaks, voice quieter than Kaveh has ever heard it.
“I told you I love you.”
The sentence settles over the room. Kaveh waits for the punchline, for the just kidding. Had he heard him wrong? Maybe he had. Maybe if he waits long enough the world will warp back into darkness and Kaveh will wake up and realize it was all just a dream.
But the moment never comes.
Kaveh slowly, reluctantly rolls onto his back and, for the first time that morning, looks directly at Alhaitham – the man he’s loved and yearned for and cried over for years. His hair is a bird’s nest, and faint shadows rest beneath his eyes. Kaveh searches for hesitation, for regret. But he finds none.
For once, he doesn’t look so composed. He looks… anxious.
And fuck, all the more beautiful.
Kaveh’s mouth is dry. What does one say when the words one has been aching to hear are finally said? Does one cry tears of joy? Does one grab the face of his beloved and lock lips in a passionate kiss? It’s as if Alhaitham’s words have frozen Kaveh’s senses in time.
Just as Kaveh’s about to delve into an overthinker’s rabbit hole, Alhaitham speaks again:
“I’ve loved you for a very long time.” While his face is uncertain, his voice is matter-of-fact, as if he were stating tomorrow’s weather. “I simply… didn’t think it would improve matters for you to know.”
Kaveh lets out a disbelieving laugh. What are you talking about, you fool?! he wants to yell. Do you know how much time I spent mentally pining after you, thinking you would never, in a million years, love me back?!
In the end, all he ends up saying is, “...You absolute fool.”
“...Yeah.”
“You thought keeping that from me was somehow helping?”
“I thought…” Alhaitham starts, choosing every word with painstaking care, “that eventually you would realize you deserved someone capable of giving you everything you asked for.”
Kaveh’s smile disappears. “And you decided that person couldn’t be you.”
“I was attempting to be realistic.”
“No, what you were doing was being an idiot.”
Kaveh expects a retort. For the conversation to erupt into argument as it usually does. Instead, Alhaitham falls quiet. “...Perhaps.”
That’s certainly new.
Kaveh studies him for a long moment. Seeing Alhaitham speak the language of vulnerability is bizarre to him. Usually he’s all straightforward stubbornness, seeming like he was too good, too cool, too smart for anyone else. Kaveh’s been spending years trying to figure out what goes on inside this man’s head, and now suddenly it’s being handed to him on a silver platter. It’s a bit overwhelming.
“I thought…” Kaveh swallows. “I thought you only wanted me when I was under you.”
Something that looks like pain flashes across Alhaitham’s face.
“Kaveh.”
His voice is barely above a whisper.
“I have wanted you at your loudest, your happiest, your most insufferable. I have wanted you when we were intimate, when we argued, when you criticized my home’s interior, yelling at me in the kitchen like a crazy, brilliant, beautiful lunatic.” Alhaitham’s eyes are a passionate fire now. “That’s what I told you last night. How much I love you and… how certain I was that you would leave me in the end because of how incompetent I am in this area.”
Kaveh just stares at him in awe for a second, then laughs incredulously again. “Goddamnit, ‘haitham. How could I ever leave you? I’ve stayed with you for over a year, even though it fucking breaks my heart, because I love you so much.” He can’t help but smile now. “No, you fool, I could never leave you. But if we want this to work, I can’t keep guessing what you’re feeling. And you can’t keep deciding what I need without even asking me.”
“I know,” Alhaitham admits, his voice tinged with sheepish rue. “I had a talk with Tighnari. He took apart my poor record.”
“I’m glad he did so,” Kaveh says, not maliciously. “Just… if you’re scared, tell me you’re scared. If you’re upset, tell me. If you love me…”
“I’ll tell you,” Alhaitham promises without hesitation.
Kaveh smiles, eyes sparkling and warm. “Yeah. Okay. I can work with that.”
He reaches across the bed and without a second thought, Alhaitham embraces him in an all-consuming embrace. Kaveh laughs as they both fall down, bouncing onto the mattress in a heap. Alhaitham’s body cages Kaveh in, and before he knows it, they’re locked in a passionate kiss. Nothing further than that. No roaming hands, no heat pooling in their stomachs. Just Kaveh’s soft lips on Alhaitham’s slightly chapped ones, and all the happiness in the world between them.
Outside, the last remaining puddles shimmer beneath a pale morning sun. The storm that battered the entire city has finally passed.
When they finally pull apart, Alhaitham whispers, voice reverent, “I love you, Kaveh.”
“Look who’s a fast learner,” Kaveh teases playfully, before replying, “I love you too, ‘haitham. More than you’ll ever know.”