Chapter Text
I felt it then. Warm hands behind me, smoothing down my suit collar. I watched it from a 3rd person point of view, out of my body.
Behind me, fuffy blonde hair greets me. My fingers know your roguish curls. There were details about your face I map perfectly. A mole, on the left? Right side of your lower jaw? Which side? I know it's there. I traced it, I used to be certain. I know what your unshaved stubble feels like against my cheek. Your eyes seem a little sad, but I don’t know why. It’s mostly covered up.
My body angles itself in the chair to face you. You’re wearing a suit as well, crisp button up and a bowtie. It takes my breath away.
Seems like we’re meeting at some cafe, this coffee bar with other people bumbling in and out of the room. Even the wooden tables are comforting to me, like I already have a favorite corner table to sit down at.
My eyes look up and you’re there. This man allows my heart to know joy. I fight to cement this reunion, I’ve been aching for this feeling for so long. Around you, the longing stops. I can no longer tell what is a figment of my dreaming, if I’m so lonely I’ve conjured you up or if you are real.
We walk out of the coffee shop. You lead and I follow. You open the door, grasping the doorknob and turn around to smile at me. Oh I have not seen that full smile in years, decades, a few months… I don’t know. A long time. I walk to meet you, we can resume with our life now.
This was just a normal Saturday morning together. The doorway passes me by and I wake up.
I know who I was dreaming about. The size and hair was too familiar to be a stranger. I want to see him again, Shane thought, squeezing his eyes shut. He read online that when you lucid dream, you should try not to move at all, keeping your body in the same position so you can write down all the details in a dream journal. It’s supposed to facilitate better lucid dreaming for the next time.
Opening his eyes, his gaze instinctively flickers to the empty space next to him on the bed. Odd behavior, Shane thinks, as he’s never been in a long term relationship before.
He tried keeping a little spiral with some free pen from a Metros fundraiser next to his bedside. Willed himself to remember. Who… I’ve met this man before. He was so funny. There was never a time where he did not care. I know how his shoulders and hands feel in mine.
Shane sits up, frustrated. I knew.. I knew..