Chapter Text
TIKTOK
Ottawa Centaurs ✔️-
HARRIS: {Video opens to Harris in front of all of the Centaurs} Today I asked the team what they would do if a starving puppy showed up at the rink!
EVERYONE: WHAT NO
ILYA: HARRIS NO YOU DID NOT ASK THAT- {Video cuts}
CHOUINARD: I mean I'd probably try to find the nearest hockey stick and use it as a baseball bat to fling it across the parking lot. Hard. Like home run swing. If that didn't work I'd just like get in my car and run it over. {Video cuts.}
DILLON: Punch it as hard as I could. I think I'm pretty strong. {Flexes at the camera.}
BOYLE: Good answer. I mean probably just stomp on it, they're not very big right? {Video cuts.}
LAPOINTE: I'd push Luca out of the way like this, {shoves Luca behind him} and then throw whatever I had in my hand at it. Like if I had my bag I'd just chuck it. Then I'd charge it and tackle it to the ground and punch it until it's unconscious.
LUCA: Wow.
LAPOINTE: What? I'd protect you, don't worry.
LUCA: You are so violent. I'd probably just run away.
LAPOINTE: Exaclty, that's why I'd kill it for you! {Luca shakes head smiling and video cuts.}
DYKSTRA: We have to kill it before it can get inside. I'd probably pick it up and strangle it. But I don't know how strong it is, would that work? If not I'll kick it as hard as I could across the parking lot into the street. {Video cuts.}
ILYA: Ok listen to this. I have great idea. First I put Shane and Luca in safe place so they can not get hurt because they are sweet and cute. Then I take my hockey skate out of bag and- {Video cuts.}
BOOD: I'd shut the door and call the police. If they were too far away I'd stab it or put it in a chokehold so it couldn't get away until they got here. {Video cuts.}
ILYA: -then I'd take out the blade from the bottom and use it to slice- {Video cuts.}
YOUNG: I'd throw Bergy at it and make a run for it.
HOLMBERG: Ok fuck you. I'd kill it and put it in Young's car to scare him. {Laughs and video cuts.}
TROY: I'd get in my car and leave.
HARRIS (off camera): Seriously? That's it? {Video cuts.}
ILYA: -it's arms and legs so it couldn't run. Then- {Shane walks into frame.}
SHANE: What in the world are you talking about?
ILYA: Oh Harris asked- {Video cuts.}
TROY: Yeah. What else would I do? {Video cuts.}
SHANE: Oh. I'd just knock it out and call the police.
ILYA: Boringggg. As I was saying, then I would put it in my car and bring it to cliff and drop it off.
SHANE: Where are you going to find a cliff?
ILYA: I do not know Shane, I'll drive until I find one. {Video cuts.}
HAYES: Ooo I'd use like karate or something on it to get it to the ground then tell everyone to run and escape.
HARRIS (off camera): Do you know karate?
HAYES: No, but I wish I did! {Video cuts.}
@OfficialCens | CAPTION: DISCLAIMER: Obviously this is NOT what I asked them! Just for fun! #OttawaCentaurs #Fyp #Trend #Joke
COMMENTS...
spence @gayhockey
rozanov and lapointe both protecting their men 🩷🩷🩷
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @ilyaroz81
HARRIS YOU CAN NOT DO THIS TO ME I LOVE PUPPIES I WOULD NOT DO ANY OF WHAT I SAID
Mrs. Rozanov @daddyilya
The cutting in and out of Ilya's answer is hilarious
lu @censforlife
wtf did you ask them 😭
lu @censforlife
also the fact you even needed to put a disclaimer is killing me. who is watching this thinking this is real...
Brad 🥅 @Bradkbiz
The Centaurs are evil. Seriously. How do you guys root for this?
grace @rozyzleftshoe
BRAD 😭😭😭 U CANT BE SERIOUS BRO
Brad 🥅 @Bradkbiz -> grace @rozyzleftshoe
Are you serious? Did you see what they said in this video? Sick.
grace @rozyzleftshoe -> Brad 🥅 @Bradkbiz
pls I BEG OF U read the caption🙏🙏
Stas @lvslahaas
Cutest rookies in the nhl!!
kj @hllnders
becoming a Harris fan page if he keeps making these
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