Chapter Text
Hyunjin's index finger ghosted over the touchpad on her laptop, hesitating to hit Post.
Her latest piece wasn't one of her best. Hyunjin's eyes and the words staring back at her made her second-guess her decision to publish it. She wasn't confident with her pace, the flow wasn't as seamless as she wanted it to be. Her diction wasn't evocative enough, it wasn't recalling correctly what she was feeling and what she wanted to convey. Hyunjin didn't have a large following, however, she doubted that the few people who read her random thoughts on the internet would be interested in it.
Was it good enough to post?
Her finger deviated the mouse cursor to another route. She switched from her Tumblr blog to the Facebook tab, scrolling through her feed instead, to keep her mind off the topic. She will decide if she should post it later. Entertaining her mind with dumb posts seemed like a better idea to procrastinate on her assignments instead of facing her lackluster poetry.
Lixie is growing something new on their farm! Visit Lixie's farm in FarmVille and see what's growing!
'iTs fRidAy NiiiiGtH'.
An album filled with 87 Minhee's blurry pictures. There was no party. The night in question was Minhee with her cats.
Lixie needs your help taking care of their fish in Happy Aquarium!
'What dessert are you based on your favorite subjects in High School?'
Mmmm. That chocolate lava cake looked so appetizing.
2 minutes later. She got the blueberry almond macaroons.
Lixie has a new outfit for their pet in Pet Society! Go check it out!
Wow. Lix was procrastinating just as bad as she was.
'There's a lot more happening backstage than what you see on stage! We're incredibly proud of our students' dedication and hardwork. Take a look at some #BehindTheScenes'
An official post from the Department of Theater Arts. They had held an event last friday—same Friday night that Minhee spent taking pictures of her cats—Hyunjin had wanted to go, but she had preferred to stay in the comfort of her bed—also the same Friday night where she wrote the same poem she now was dismissing.
She clicked on the pictures to see what she had missed. The cast. The crew. The set. A familiar face taking pictures while they rehearsed.
Wait a minute.
There he was. Captured along the rest of the crew. Having a blast.
Same long nose, same camera hanging from his neck and same wide smile on his face.
Donghyun.
Hyunjin couldn't help but to stare at the picture. He looked the same since the last time she had saw him. Although, that wasn't so long ago, she didn't know what kind of change she was expecting. The only perceptible difference was that he had his hair a bit longer, his fringe almost meeting his eyelashes. She didn't know how he managed to see through the lense.
The whiplash she felt seeing his face brought back the memories from months ago. The Tumblr tab on her browser about fire an alarm, her poems there a reminder of it. She had blocked his number. She hasn't talked to him in months, yet here he was, creeping into her life like snake hunting a prey.
Maybe the change she was expecting was that he wasn't still an asshole. He still was.
He was with another girl besides him. Hyunjin's stomach twisted. Hyunjin's mind started to come up with multiple scenarios as she always did. Was she his new girlfriend? Was she more interesting than her? Bet she was.
Haunting the picture and mocking Hyunjin at the same time, was Donghyun's camera strap. That was a detail between all the theater noise only she could point out.
She had gifted it to him. One of her last ones for him, back when she was still trying to make it work. She remembered clearly as water the day she had bought it. She had been so careful to chose the one that fit him the best.
Did he think about her when he was holding his precious camera? Her guess was that he didn't. He had received that simple gift with barely a whispered 'thanks' with no other reaction in his emotionless face. Hyunjin remembered how she had thought he would discard it when she wasn't looking.
He didn't.
She held her face together. It's been months since the breakup. She was fine.
Of course she was.
“Oh my god, you're hopeless.” Jeongin, always gentle and friendly, interrupted her as she slammed a stack of books onto the table. The screen of Hyunjin's laptop wiggled with the impact. The ghost of Donghyun's wicked smile wiggling too.
“Excuse me?” Hyunjin raised her eyes from the screen as she quickly opened a new tab, faking she was about to research something for the assignment she definitely wasn't doing a moment before.
“Don't you dare to pretend I don't know what you're doing.” Jeongin sat in front of her. She hanged her backpack in the chair.
Hyunjin shut her laptop close, knowing Jeongin, she was a second way to grab it and look for evidence there to confront her about she knew Hyunjin was doing.
Her attempts to remain stoic weren't as successful as she thought. Yet, she had, a bit a dignity left. Her gaze met her friend's, not giving away how her lunch now had a bad taste on her mouth. “And what exactly I am doing since you're so clever?”
“You're making yourself miserable by watching that scumbag wormface.”
She's always friendly, see?
“How did you know?"
Jeongin rolled her eyes. “Because you always make that face."
Hyunjin's face scrunched up in reflex, “I don't make a face."
“You do. You look like a kicked puppy when you remember that wormface's existence."
"I don't."
"Whatever you say, beautiful."
"I just saw of picture of him, that's all." Hyunjin shrugged.
Jeongin let out long sigh, "What are you doing looking at his profile?"
"Hey I wasn't stalking his profile. He came up in my feed without me looking for him."
"That asshole is like a cockroach." Jeongin was looking for something in her backpack until she pulled out a forgotten sandwich poorly wrapped in foil paper. She offered Hyunjin a bite. She rejected it. She didn't feel like eating anything right now.
“I care about you, you know.” Jeongin spoke with her mouth full of tuna sandwich, that didn't make the statement any less true. "You need to get a bit of fresh air. You do look miserable when you remember his pathetic ass."
"I'm over him. I'm doing fine." A hint of uncertainty slipped in Hyunjin's voice. She was doing fine, that's correct. Most of the times, though.
She sighed and opened her laptop again.
Lixie sent you a life in Candy Crush Saga!
Great timing. She needed a life in real life too. Wish Lix could send her one too.
To Hyunjin's surprise, Jeongin didn't press on the topic. Her attention was now on wolfing down her sandwich. She had just gotten out of class and she was starving.
Hyunjin returned to her blog. She saved the post in drafts. Maybe she could reblog some gifs and edits of Dean Winchester instead.
"You know, I talked with this girl in my class—"
Dean Winchester be damned.
"Oh no." Hyunjin cut her off. "Absolutely no."
Jeongin held up a palm to stop Hyunjin from complaining. "Hear me the fuck out."
Hyunjin's lips zipped together.
"What if I, not so hipotetacally, set you up a blind date? Like I said, you need some fresh air. I think your problems would be solved by kissing a girl. Mine sure did."
Hyunjin took a nervous look at the couple of tables near them. A girl continued sipping her coffee and three guys were too fixated on talking about a baseball match to care. No one seemed to have heard. She wished to have an ounce of Jeongin's confidence. She contained her shock in a whisper, "Are you insane? With a girl? That'd be like the first time I have a date with a girl."
Jeongin raised an eyebrow. "And?"
"I'll make a fool out of myself."
"Exactly my point. Live your life a little. What's the worst thing that can happen?"
She could think about a hundred of things that could go wrong. What was Jeongin thinking?
"I repeat, I'll make a fool out of myself."
A blind date? She pondered on the idea. Jeongin was crazy. She had never had a blind date, let alone with a girl.
Jeongin was now sipping on an apple juice box, no traces of her sandwich remained. "I already arranged everything so you'll have to say yes anyway."
"Are you for real?" Hyunjin's eyes grew bigger in surprise.
"When I'm not? I knew you would say yes. C'mon give it a try."
Hyunjin narrowed her eyes and tilted her face. "And you want me to believe that you just happened to make that plan and then you found me watching him on Facebook."
"You've been moping for months. It isn't so difficult to beliet that I'd find you in a similar state. You could say that the planets aligned." Jeongin's foxy eyes had a gleam on them that said she was getting away with her mischievous plan.
"Oh my God…" Hyunjin stroke her forehead, resigned to be caught in this mess. "Who's she anyways?"
"Her name is Jisu. She's from my class. She's pretty cute." Jeongin's lips curved into a wide smile. Oh God she was so proud of her plan. Someone send help to Hyunjin.
"Can I ask how did you think this was a good idea?"
Jeongin shrugged, "She wanted to kiss a girl, and I happen to know someone who desperately needs to do so too."
A faint pink blush appeared on Hyunjin's cheeks. She dismissed it. "How do you know she wanted to go out a girl, specifically."
"She told me so." Jeongin explained, "And I kinda guessed it too. I saw her the other day staring at Minhee's boobs."
"Jeongin. Point invalid. Everyone stares at Minhee's boobs."
Jeongin laughed. "Liar. Straight girls do not. You are just gay."
The shade of pink on her cheeks intensified.
Alright, she might have done that once. Or twice. For scientific purposes only. Minhee's boobs were a valid case of study for her investigation of 'Am I attracted to this?'
"See. Gay. Go on and kiss a girl. Enough of being miserable because of lame stupid boys."
"But…" Hyunjin drifted off. Jeongin took her cue and gave her some time to think.
Hyunjin went back to her drafts for the millionth time today. Her own words starting back at her. Were they mocking her? The poem that she wrote one of the many nights she felt unlovable on the screen. Was love possible again after everything had burned?
Hyunjin, like the idiot that she is, fell right into the trap of Jeongin's plan.
"Fine. I'll give it a try. What day is it?"
"Next Wednesday."
~
Hyunjin stopped her stroll and froze in the middle of the street.
She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. If she went around the corner, she would find the café where she'd meet her date.
Meaning she would have Jisu in her line of sight, in the case she had arrived, and Hyunjin definitely wasn't ready to face Jisu yet.
That would make it more impossible to back out from this date and Jeongin's tricks.
Hyunjin stepped aside, allowing other pedestrians to walk freely. Another deep breath. She fixed her hair so it fell on her shoulders. Then she smoothed out her floral skater skirt for the hundredth time. When she looked down, she bit her bottom lip, suddenly self-conscious of her lanky legs. She should have opted for a pair of jeans instead. She pulled out a compact mirror from her purse. Her make-up was also on check.
Ready. She kept on walking.
She saw from the distance a girl waiting by the cafe's door. She couldn't pinpoint if she was her date, she had trouble seeing clearly from. Yes, yes, she had to get eyesight formula checked. Yet, with every step she took, her hands got clammier and her heart beat faster, rumbling against her chest. She's so going to kill Jeongin after this.
"Hello there." A gummy smile greeted Hyunjin as soon as she reached the entrance of the café. Her brain decided to short circuit right there, she stared at her, forgetting how to talk.
"Hi." Hyunjin gave her a shy smile.
"I'm Jisu. You must be Hyunjin." The smile on her lips didn't falter ven one second. But what could Hyunjin know about time? She was paralyzed, with her eyes focused on the pretty girl in front of her, lips glued together because she would embarras herself if she said anything.
Hyunjin lost herself looking at her date. Her round face was framed with a long bob. Her tousled black locks grazing her collarbones, styled to look unkempt, Hyunjin caught a cheeky streak of blue-dyed hair. Round cheeks. Round eyes. She looked so soft despite the black eyeliner, sheer black tights and combat boots. However, what really complimented Jisu's outfit was her contagious smile. She was smaller than her, she couldn't help to notice, even with the boots Hyunjin was a couple of inches still taller than her. Hyunjin thanked her earlier decision to dismiss the pair of wedge heels she almost put on. Her pink ballerinas were now the perfect fit.
Jeongin was right, Jisu was pretty damn cute.
Hyunjin nodded, remembering that she had to answer. This is why she doesn't have lots of experience. She's a complete fool in front of pretty girls. "Yeah. You're here already."
Hyunjin lifted her wrist thinking she had somehow calculated wrong and showed up late. The clock had 5 minutes to spare. She was impressed. She usually was the first one to arrive. This was a first.
"Of course." Jisu's tone was confident. She opened the door behind her, letting Hyunjin come inside the café.
Jisu was early and Hyunjin wondered if that was because Jeongin warned her that people's lack of punctuality altered Hyunjin's nerves.
"You look gorgeous, by the way." Jisu brought her out of her thoughts.
"Thank you." Oh my God please don't compliment her, she will not know how to answer. She deflected the attention to the graphic shirt Jisu was wearing. "I like your shirt."
Jisu let out a chuckle. "Thanks." As they made their way to the line, they eyes were looking at the menu board. "What would you like? Jeongin told me a lot about you. But that didn't include your coffee order." There it was. That snitch.
"She told you good things I suppose."
"All good. I'm here after all, right?" She winked. The sudden action brought the tiniest blush to Hyunjin's cheeks. Then Jisu chuckled for a second time. Hyunjin liked that sound. "That doesn't mean I don't think she's kinda crazy, though."
"I agree."
"I think she's enjoying playing matchmaker."
"As long as the matchmaking doesn't involve herself, she's definitely having the time of her life." Hyunjin said.
"I bet she hid a secret camera here and is recording us so she can brag about her majestic plan later."
Hyunjin giggled and she leaned closer to Jisung. Their arms touched, the slightest brush of skin. Jisu's bit her bottom lip.
When the lady behind the cashier was ready to take their order. They realized they had gotten distracted and the menu was forgotten.
Hyunjin ordered the first thing she laid eyes upon. A chocolate cake because she was craving for it since she took that quiz, paired with a mocha. Jisu ordered a salted caramel cheesecake and an extra large coffee
"Don't judge. Coffee it's the only thing that keeps me from smashing my forehead with the computer." Jisu announced when she felt Hyunjin's eyes on her after her caffeine choices.
Hyunjin laughed. "I hate that I understand the feeling."
After the lady took their order, Jisu led them to a booth beside a floor-to-ceiling window. She stopped on her tracks. "Wait hold on, are you more a sitting-by-the-window person or sitting-in-a-corner person?"
"Window definitely." Hyunjin reassured her.
Jisu pulled out the chair for Hyunjin, she took the seat facing her.
"Why do you like it?"
Jisu held her head high and spoke confidently. Hyunjin, however, noted her nervousness sneak in, she noticed the way she was picking her fingernails.
Hyunjin tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"Sitting by the window."
"I like to watch people…" Hyunjin spoke in a hushed tone, "Wait. Not in a stalker way. We all have lives, you know. We all have our own problems and our own dreams. I like to imagine what those could be. There's always a story somewhere if you look hard enough."
Jisu shoot a soft smile at her. "What would you think about that man?" Jisu pointed to an old man passing by. He was smoking a cigarette and his frail frame was being swallowed by a trench coat. His expression seemed gloomy.
"He's probably struggling with the loneliness of having all your children be adults with their own lives while you're being left behind."
"Wow that's deep. Interesting."
Hyunjin nodded, wondering if she now was thinking she was weird.
Their order arrived. She appreciated the quickness. Her hand urged to pick the pen in her purse to have something to do. To doodle mindlessly.
"What would you think of me? If you saw me walking by right now." Jisu blurted out when the waitress left.
Hyunjin looked off to the side, thinking, "That you're the singer of some indie ban that struggles to convince her parents that having a career in music is worth it."
Jisu laughed. "Alright you may or may not have hit the mark."
"But you're majoring in Software Engineering, right?" She remembered Jeongin mentioning something about it. "That's kinda a far from music."
"Yeah." She took a bite of her cheesecake.
Hyunjin waited for the imminent awkward silence. Of course, she was good with words. On paper. Typing on her laptop's keyboard. Not in person. Not when the cup handle was slipping from her fingers because of how her clammy hand was shaking.
"Let's play a game." Jisu's black nail polish glistened as she hold her cup to her lips to take a sip of her coffee. "Easy. Two truths and a lie."
That piqued Hyunjin's interest. That way the conversation will flow without her having to worry about it.
"Let's go."
"I start." Jisu tried to make her voice neutral. "I'm godamn good at math. I don't know how to ride a bike. I have a secret tattoo."
Hyunjin didn't vacillate, "The lie is the second one."
"It's actually the bike one—" Jisu exclaimed then stopped, caught off guard. "You guessed it. I thought you would say that the lie was the tattoo."
Hyunjin wore a knowing smile. "Indie bands come with secret tattoos. And of course you're good at math. That was kind of obvious. Where's the tattoo, though?"
"You'll have to wait a couple more dates for that, babe." Jisu winked at her while sipping coffee. Hyunjin did not turn red. She did not.
Jisu, in turn, pointed out her misery. "You look pretty when you blush."
"I'm allergic to peanuts. I have secretly written for the college magazine. I have a collection amount of romcom movies on DVD."
Jisu forrowed her brows. Her eyes were fixed on her. Hyunjin could feel how she was studying her. She did her best to keep a straight face."
"You aren't allergic to peanuts for shit. That's the lie."
Wow. She could have sworn that she would say the statement about the magazine. Hyunjin wondered. "How did you guess that?"
"You have the intelectual look. You seem like the type to have a best seller novel by next week."
Hyunjin's cheeks flushed. Again. Next time she isn't even bothering to wear blush. "You say so?"
"I'm not saying that because I'm trying to impress you. I genuinely think so."
This was new to her. She was expecting for Jisu too mock her or laugh at her. She did not. She actually did the opposite.
"My turn." Jisu looked funny, trying to contain her face normally full of expressions and trying to stay neutral. Hyunjin's gaze went to their hands for a split second. Jisu wasn't picking her nails anymore, she had extended her left hand, brushing Hyunjin's. "I do have an indie band. I almost got eaten by a crocodile when I was a kid. I love eating broccoli."
"The lie is the crocodile one." Hyunjin declared.
Jisu let out the cutest giggle. "What if I told you it's not?"
"What?" Hyunjin threw her head back laughing. "Oh my god now I need explanations."
Jisu was right to do this as an icebreaker. She started to recount her near-death childhood experience and Hyunjin attentively listening to her as she drank her mocha.
They had a coupled more round of the game. Hyunjin's hands were no longer shaking. And as far as she knew, Jisu wasn't fidgeting as constantly either. Her hand remained brushing her pinky finger to Hyunjin's skin as she talked about everything and anything. Hyunjjn found she liked to hear Jisu talk. She wanted to ask her more about her experiences. About her thoughts. And about her secret tattoo that she didn't give a hint about what o where it was no matter how much Hyunjin insisted.
There was something different, Hyunjin realized. She felt comfortable and at ease. There was a warmth spreading in her chest. She wanted to write about it. Write on paper how delightful it was to hear Jisu laughing at something she had said.
Their desserts long eaten and only dregs in their cups. Both focused on their conversation until the extra large coffee made its bladder effect.
"Gimme a second. I need to go to the bathroom."
When Jisu dissapeared from sight. Hyunjin gave in to her cravings and searched for her journal in her purse.
Pen in hand, she began to put down notes of what she feeling. She wanted to remember the warmth in her chest.
She lost track of time because Jisu was already here.
"What're you doing?" Jisu asked.
By instinct, she snapped shut her journal.
"Nothing." Hyunjin said.
"You want to know more about my secret tattoo. And in return, I want to read something of yours."
Another new thing. She was interested in what she was writing.
Hyunjin tried to hide how speechless that made her feel.
When it was time to go, despite Hyunjin's request to split, Jisu insisted on paying the bill.
"You pay next time. What do you say?"
Was this a success of a date? Hyunjin thought so. A part of her heart hoped that Jisu thought the same. She practically confirmed it by hinting a second date.
Hyunjin smiled. "I agree."
They got out of café and Jisu walked with her to the bus stop. Hyunjin noticed Jisu's hand was still brushing hers. Ever so slightly. Jisu was making a good work trying to hide her proximity. But it was enough to make Hyunjin's skin crawl. She wondered what it would feel like if she decided to break the constraint and held her.
Hyunjin didn't remove her hand. Jisu didn't move away either.
She would like to explore that later.
When Hyunjin arrived home. She hold onto the way Jisu's made her feel. The way Jisu's eyes gleamed under the café lights. The way each time she laughed the warmth in her chest expanded an inch broader. She wrote, and wrote.
She didn't hesitate to publish it this time.