Chapter Text
It was safe to say that Dan and Phil had come up with some ambitious ideas in their time.
A two hour stage show featuring an alternate reality as a result of a microwaved laptop, complete with a comically large 3D microwave with a working door, a cameo from a sim, and a campy musical-theatre-esque song they wrote and performed themselves to celebrate the return of the internet? Sure. No problem. Let's tour it across several continents.
A gaming channel, despite the fact neither of them were particularly good at video games? Why not, it might be fun.
Baking. As a whole. Okay, maybe that one was a bit of an overreach, and Gordon Ramsey would probably agree on that.
This, however. This was batshit insane.
Phil had pitched the idea in a moment of supposed genius. Dan wasn't so sure. He agreed to it anyway.
"Okay, fine. But we should probably ask Jake and Henry before we go plastering this across the internet." He had said. He was a weak, weak man when it came to Phil Lester. He was pretty sure he'd say yes to anything he came up with if he said it'd make him happy.
This was how he found himself on the balcony of his and Phil's shared apartment, phone pressed to his ear, about to ask his fiancé if he would mind his partner pretending to be engaged to another man - his ex-boyfriend of almost eleven years, for that matter - for the sake of quieting a storm of his own making on the internet. Fuck.
Phil was stood in the kitchen, making the same phone call to his own boyfriend. They had decided they'd probably need their privacy for these conversations, so had split up to different ends of the apartment.
As the dial tone filtered through his ears for the third time, Dan could only hope Phil was having more luck reaching his own partner. He felt bad for spamming Henry, he really did, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice at the moment. He just hoped and prayed he wasn't at work in the middle of some vital procedure or, god forbid, trying to get some sleep.
After a fourth call goes to voicemail, Dan decided that it's pointless to keep trying, so he hangs up and types out three simple messages.
need to talk to you
have a crazy plan, need your approval first though
call me when you can
He sighs, locking his phone and heading back inside. He walks into the living room at the same time as Phil, phone still pressed to his ear. His first reaction is to panic - is Phil still having a private conversation? Should he go back outside and wait it out?
Deciding it's the most respectful thing to do, he turns and is about to head back out onto the balcony when Phil gets his attention with a wave.
"He's here now. We're at the apartment, you can talk to him yourself if you want?" Phil says into the phone. Dan's stomach drops.
It wasn't that he didn't know Jake. He was an incredible video editor and they had worked on projects together before. He was a genuinely lovely person and he was glad Phil ended up with someone so perfect. But that was the issue. They hadn't spoken since he was Phil's boyfriend, and this was new territory.
He didn't have long to overthink it, though, because Phil was putting his phone on speaker and handing it to Dan.
"Oh, uh. Hi, Jake," Dan mumbles, entirely unsure of how to start this conversation.
"Hey, Dan!" Came the reply, Jake's usual cheery demeanour seemingly undeterred by the bombshell Phil had just dropped on their relationship. "Phil tells me you and him are going to pretend to be engaged, or something."
Dan forgot how direct he was. "Uh, yeah... yeah, I guess we are. Is that okay with you?"
"'Course it is! Just one thing." Jake's tone changed, and it sent a chill down Dan's spine. "Don't go getting the wrong impression, yeah? You hurt him. This doesn't change that."
Dan swallowed. Phil didn't move, eyes glued to the floor.
"You understand?" Jake continued, and Dan realises he hadn't actually given a response yet.
"Yeah. I understand." His voice is quiet, resigned. The silence seems to crawl on forever. "Bye, Jake."
He faintly hears a, "Bye, Dan! Nice talking to you!" in the usual cheerful tone as he hands the phone back. Phil gives him a cautious look as he takes it, but as soon as it's out of his hands Dan moves to return to the balcony, suddenly in desperate need of fresh air.
He takes a seat on one of the balcony chairs, placing his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. He breathes in and out as slowly as he can, as if it would magically detoxify the London air.
He wasn't sure what he expected from that conversation, to be completely honest, but he supposes it's fair enough for Jake to react that way. God knows if it were him in Jake's situation, it would've gone very differently.
When he hears the balcony doors slide open, he has absolutely no concept of how long he'd been sat out there. Phil takes a seat opposite him, but he doesn't lift his head.
"Dan, I'm so sorry," Phil breathes. This catches Dan's attention, and his head snaps up, his gaze finally meeting Phil's. "I didn't know what he was going to say to you, if I'd have known I'd have told him to take it easy, or some-"
"What?" Dan asks, dumbfounded.
Phil sighs. "I didn't want him to say any of that, it's not fair to you or-"
"No, hang on. Wait." Dan sits up straighter. "You don't have to apologise. Everything he said is true. I did hurt you. I regret it every day but it's true, and I don't blame him for saying it. If it were me in his place, we both know I would've said all of that and worse. It's fine, honestly."
Phil looks at him, seeming to consider the situation. Eventually, he sighs again, resigned this time, and says, "Fine. But just know I didn't want him to say any of that. I forgave you a long time ago, I guess he hasn't just yet."
"Okay," Dan says. They fall into a tense silence. Dan misses when the silence between them was comfortable, when it meant nothing more than contentment without words. Now, it felt like they had too many words, but it was forbidden to speak them. He can't stand it. "So, what next?"
"I don't know really. If Jake and Henry are both fine with this whole thing then I guess we figure out how to go public with it."
It's at this moment, it hits Dan. "You need a ring."
Based on his reaction, this is something Phil also forgot to consider. "Oh. I mean, yeah. I guess I do. I kind of forgot about that part."
Dan checks his phone. The screen reads 13:41. The jeweller he got his own rings from was still open, at least for the next two or so hours. He's barely even thought it through before he's up on his feet and heading back into the flat.
"You coming?" He calls back to Phil, when he notices he hasn't moved.
"Oh." Phil stands and follows him. "Yeah, I guess I am. Where exactly are we going though?"
Dan laughs. "To get you a ring, dumbass."
Phil makes sure to hide his left hand in his pocket as he walks. He's blindly following Dan through the streets of London, with not a hint of an idea of where their final destination is. He doesn't seem to mind though. He trusts Dan. That's one thing that never seemed to change.
They don't have too far to walk before they're ducking into a building. Dan takes a deep breath, hyping himself up as he scans his card and walks through the barrier, Phil close behind him.
They're both silent as they make their way down to the platform. They can tell they're both thinking the same thing, albeit to different extents.
This is where this whole thing started.
The train screeches to a halt in front of them seconds after they arrive on the platform. Silently, they board and find two middle seats to sit in. Dan takes another breath. The train lurches forward.
Sitting on the tube feels like torture, Dan decides. His mind is working overtime, attempting to keep an eye on every other passenger in the same carriage as him. Phil seems to notice, unlocking his phone with his right hand and typing for a moment before Dan feels his own phone buzz in his pocket.
you ok?
i guess He sends back. little on edge
Phil gives him a reassuring look.
i'm pretty sure i know who took the photo Dan admits. He watches Phil's reaction carefully. His lips part slightly in surprise, before he seems to remember they're in public and composes himself a bit.
oh?
yesterday on my way home there was this girl who kept giving me looks He types. thought it was just because i was a bit of a mess tho
Phil catches his eye, silently prompting him to continue.
idk. guess i'm just a bit scared of running into her again
At this, Phil's brow furrows and he starts typing. aren't there like 8 million people in London? What are the chances of running into that specific girl again?
Dan can't deny he has a good point. He doesn't get a chance to tell him that, though, as it's at that moment the train pulls into their station.
"This is us," He announces, locking his phone and shoving it back into the pocket of his jeans. Phil promptly does the same, and once the train grinds to a halt, they begin making their way back up to the surface.
It doesn't take much longer for them to reach the jewellery store. Once it comes into his line of sight, Dan gestures for Phil to stop with him.
"What kind of ring would you want?" He asks, realising he probably should've done this before they were in the middle of the street for anyone to overhear. Phil seems to consider, and before he can stop himself, Dan continues. "D'you want to use mine as a reference?"
Phil's gaze drops to Dan's hand, almost involuntarily. He hesitates, but eventually gives a small nod. Dan tugs it off his finger and holds it out to Phil.
For a long moment, it seems like he isn't going to take it. He's looking at it as if it might burn him. When he finally speaks, it's the last thing Dan expects.
"Are you sure you trust me to hold that?"
"Phil," Dan starts. "We both know I trust you with a lot more than this."
Phil is silent for a moment, gaze unmoving from where it is fixed onto the ring. Dan suddenly worries he's gone too far. He's said the wrong thing. He made it weird.
But then Phil is muttering, "Okay." And is carefully plucking the ring from his hand to inspect it up close.
It's a strangely intimate moment, especially for it to be happening on a grimy London pavement, and Dan doesn't quite know where to put everything he's feeling.
The band of his ring is sleek and black. Intricate patterns weave through each other as engravings on the surface, building in intensity until they reach a single white gemstone. It's one-hundred percent his style, and not at all Phil's, so he's wondering why he even offered it in the first place, but the look of curiosity and wonder on Phil's face as he admires it up close for the first time is enough to mean he doesn't regret it in the slightest.
"This is so beautiful," Phil mumbles. Dan's not sure if he's even aware he said it out loud, but he doesn't bring it up.
After another minute, Phil's handing the ring back to Dan.
"So... What do you think?" Dan asks, holding onto the ring but not yet putting it back on.
"Hmm?"
"Would you want to use mine as a reference?" It's at this moment when Phil seems to remember the task at hand. "I mean... you don't have to, but you can if you want to."
"I, uh..." He hesitates. "Yeah, sure. Okay. If you don't mind. I don't think I'd know where to start, otherwise. Thank you."
Dan resumes walking to the jewellery store, ensuring Phil is following him and hasn't gotten swept away by the London crowds. As soon as they walk in the doors, Dan immediately remembers why he loves this place. He hadn't always been a jewellery person, but Phil's try new things attitude seemed to be rubbing off on him, even when they spent most of their time apart.
Phil seems to share his enthusiasm, his gaze darting around the small room, admiring the rows upon rows of intricate metal bands and chains and every other type of jewellery imaginable lining the walls. The vast majority of it was black or silver, hence why the store stood out to Dan in the first place, but each piece was unique.
"Hi," The woman behind the counter says, gaining their attention. "Can I help you with anything at all or are you just browsing?"
"Oh, uh... Just browsing for the moment, I think," Dan says, noticing how Phil is still entranced by the countless rows of jewellery.
Dan takes a moment to admire the woman's style. She looks young, maybe in her early twenties, and her dyed-black hair hangs down just past her shoulders. As expected for a jewellery shop worker, her body is adorned in many types of metals. Most of her fingers have at least one ring decorating them, some dainty, some chunkier. She has a few piercings, more than Dan could be bothered to count, and she was wearing at least three different necklaces. Her outfit consists of a slightly oversized uniform polo and baggy blue jeans, but she manages to pull it off as if it was just a normal shirt. She's exactly the type of person Dan would expect to find in a store like this, but he can't deny her fashion choices went above and beyond.
He re-joins Phil where he's stood looking at the rings through the glass cabinet. Dan notices something in his gaze has changed, almost as if he's dialled down the wonder and is now more focused.
"D'you want me to ask for advice yet or are you still just looking?" He mumbles in a low enough voice for Phil to hear, while hopefully evading the ears of the woman at the till. He makes sure to let him know he has options, not wanting to force him into a decision just yet. This was a strange experience, and he wanted to do everything in his power to make it as stress-free as possible for Phil.
"Yeah, okay. I think I'm ready," Phil practically whispers back. If Dan hadn't been standing so close he's not sure he even would've heard him.
He gathers every bit of confidence he has rattling around in his body and approaches the cashier. "Hey, uh... D'you have anything kind of similar to this but not, like, identical? If you know what I mean." He hands over the ring and watches as the woman inspects it. He feels entirely different than he did when Phil had been looking at it earlier. With Phil, it had felt personal. Trusting. Now, he couldn't help but feel slightly exposed and judged, even if he knew he was probably imagining it.
"Yeah, no problem," The cashier speaks up, snapping Dan out of his paranoia as she hands the ring back. "What size are we looking for?"
He glances at Phil. He looks uncertain.
"Uh... We're not too sure, actually."
"That's fine," The cashier says as she turns her back to them and opens up a drawer. She pulls out what looks like an oversized key-ring and hands it to Dan. "You can be checking it while I go and see what we've got."
And with that, she walks out from behind the counter and begins her search, unlocking several glass cabinets as she goes and pulling out a few potential options.
Dan gestures for Phil to give him his hand, only realising that might've been a step too far when Phil hesitates before placing his left hand in Dan's.
"So, you just..." Dan swallows. He can feel his heart beating faster than usual, and all he's doing is holding Phil's hand. "Try these little rings until you get to one that feels right." He starts in the middle, sliding the plastic ring partway up Phil's finger, before pulling it off and flicking through the options again. He's about to try a slightly larger size, when he pauses and looks up at Phil, offering the device over to him. "Sorry, uh. You can do it yourself if you want."
"No!" Phil responds entirely too quickly, but Dan pretends he doesn't notice. "Uhm, I mean- I just mean you seem to know what you're doing, is all."
Dan gives a small smile. "Okay."
It doesn't take much longer for them to find the right size, nor for the cashier to return with some options.
She presents them one by one. There are seven in total, all black like Dan's. Some of them are fairly slim, also like Dan's, but some are on the wider side. Some have white crystals, some have black, and some have a mix of both.
Once she's finished, Dan turns to look at Phil. "What do you think?"
He looks uncertain. "Uh..." Dan understands where he's coming from. He can't really picture Phil wearing any of these rings, either, especially not as an engagement ring.
An idea seems to pop into the cashier's head then. "Or..." She says, approaching another cabinet and pulling out a single ring. "How about this?"
Dan feels his heart stop. Phil's eyes seem to light up.
"It's beautiful," He says. Dan swears he's about to cry.
The ring is a standard thickness, not too delicate but not too chunky, either. The band itself is silver, immediately lending itself much more to Phil's style, but it's the simple black stone encased in the centre which feels like a punch to the gut for Dan. This ring is the perfect inverse of his own. The light to his dark. Just like Phil.
"Would you like to try one on? What size did you come up with?" The woman says, pulling Dan from his spiral.
"Could we try an S, please?" He asks, and she nods before disappearing through the curtain behind her.
Not even a moment after she'd gone, Phil asks, "Is this alright?"
Dan tries to meet his eye. "Of course it is."
"I mean... I didn't think we'd find one so similar to yours. I don't know, I wouldn't want to-"
"Phil," He interrupts. This time, he does meet his eye. "Don't worry about it. It's perfect."
Before Phil can protest, the cashier comes back with the ring in the right size. He tries it on, and it fits perfectly. Dan feels his heart swell. He tries to ignore it.
Dan pays for the ring, knowing Phil wouldn't protest it in public, and soon enough they're walking back into to their shared apartment.
As soon as the door clicks shut behind them, Phil is saying, "I can pay you back for the ring. I don't mind."
"Don't worry about it," Dan replies, kicking off his shoes and heading to the kitchen for a drink. Phil follows. "It's my fault we're in this whole thing, anyways, so it's only fair."
Phil pauses. "Don't think like that."
Dan turns from where he's grabbed two glasses from the cupboard to give Phil an incredulous look, before eventually letting out a sigh and saying, "Fine, if it makes you feel better, you can give me a fiver. But I'm serious about it being my fault."
"Dan-"
And, okay, maybe Dan's a bitch for this, but he doesn't particularly want to talk about this anymore. It's been a long day.
So, he interrupts Phil and changes the topic. "How are we going to announce this, anyways?"
Phil seems to understand, watching Dan pour Ribena into the two glasses before topping them up with water.
"I don't know." He takes a seat on one of the bar stools. "Did you want to go professional or get it over and done with?"
Dan slides one of the glasses to Phil, taking a seat next to him. "Up to you. I'm good with whatever, but I think we should definitely try and get it out there as soon as possible before it blows up even more."
Phil sips his Ribena, a considerate look on his face. "If we want to do it properly, we could always film a video together and explain it, but that'd be jumping in at the deep end with the lying, so I don't know if you'd be up for that." He seems to take a moment. "I mean... We could always just put it on our Instagram stories. Minimum work for us and it'd spread just as fast."
Dan thinks about Henry. He thinks about how he still hasn't had a response from him. He hadn't even read the message yet. Henry doesn't know Dan's about to pretend to be engaged to his ex online, for the whole world to see. Henry is a busy person by nature, but one of his most endearing qualities was he would always take the time to watch Dan's videos as soon as he could whenever he uploaded them. He knew the work Dan put into them, and even if he had to lose half an hour of much-needed sleep to keep up, he'd make sure he watched them. Dan couldn't bear the possibility of Henry finding out like that, but then a realisation hits him.
Henry didn't have Instagram. Well, okay, technically he had an account, but he never used the app, and Dan wasn't even sure if it was still installed on his phone or was just sat there gathering digital cobwebs.
He barely even registers himself talking as he says, "Yeah, I think stories could work."
And before he knows it, him and Phil are posing on their sofa, holding their hands up so their rings are visible, carefully curated smiles plastered on their faces. They knew each other well enough to know they weren't genuine, but they also knew it was a good enough act for their audience to believe it.
guess the cat's out of the bag Dan types, before downloading the image and sending it to Phil.
He waits until Phil has it ready, too. They share a nervous glance.
There was no going back from this.
Phil begins to whisper a countdown. "Three." Their thumbs hover over the upload button.
"Two."
Dan takes a shaky breath. How was this real? Why were they doing this? Surely there was a better way of dealing with this situation, right?
He feels silly for it even in the moment, and he knows when he gets home he'll regret it even more, but he reaches out and takes Phil's spare hand in his own, desperate for comfort.
Phil doesn't pull his hand away. If anything, he tightens his grip.
"One."
They press post.