Chapter Text
The SUV roared down the dirt road while Gideon drove like the world was ending behind them, because for Reid, it almost had.
Hotch sat in the backseat with Reid pulled halfway into his lap, the younger agent’s body curled up against him. One of Hotch's arms wrapped tightly around Reid's ribs to keep him on his side, while his other hand cupped the back of Reid's head, threading his fingers through Reid’s dirt-clumped hair. Reid's cheek rested against Hotch's thigh, his chest rising and falling far too fast while tremors rippled through him every few breaths.
"Kid," Morgan whispered, his voice thick with a fear even he couldn't hide, "You're gonna be okay."
Reid couldn't answer, because suddenly his whole body seized with another choking cough. Hotch tightened his hold instinctively.
"Easy, easy, Spencer—"
Reid gagged, his throat working as another thick, mud-dark mixture spilled from his mouth. Hotch didn't react except to tilt Reid a few degrees further onto his side, steadying him as violent convulsions shook through his body like electric shocks.
"That's it," Hotch murmured, his voice trembling yet impossibly steady. "Get every bit of it out. I've got you, you’re alright…"
Reid's breaths turned into wet-sounding wheezes. Morgan reached over to place a hand on Reid's back, but was terrified of hurting him.
"Hotch—"
"I know," Hotch said softly, his jaw tight.
Reid tried to inhale only to choke again as his body curled against himself in a painful reflex. Hotch tried to hold Reid still through the spasm, rubbing small, soothing circles between his shoulder blades.
"Shh, come on... come on... your body's doing what it has to. Just breathe, breathe, Spencer, breathe—"
Another convulsion shook him, followed by another painful sound, but this time nothing came up. Even so his body kept trying instinctively, tearing through Reid’s already raw and damaged throat.
"Shhh, there's nothing left," Hotch whispered, his heart cracking as he could do nothing but watch. "That’s it. You're alright, easy… just breathe now, just breathe—"
Reid gasped, and for the first time since he surfaced, the breath wasn't mud-thick or drowning-wet. It was air—thin and shallow, but, well, airy.
"Oh thank God," JJ breathed.
Morgan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand discreetly. Just when they thought they all could breathe, Reid’s shallow breathing changed again, fast and weak. Hotch calculated that if Spencer kept it up, he’d pass out before they safely got him to the hospital.
"Spencer, hey, look at me. No, no, no, don't drift, stay here, stay right here—"
Reid's eyelids fluttered without opening, his breathing thinning like he’d forgotten how to pull air deeper.
"Damn it," Hotch cursed, desperation creeping into his voice. "He's fading; Morgan, help me hold him—Jason, faster, the road's straight now, go—"
Hotch's hand splayed wide over Reid’s sternum, monitoring his breathing.
"Come on, kiddo... deeper breaths... come on, Spencer..."
Hotch rubbed firm, small circles along Reid's sternum. Reid jerked weakly at the touch, a reflex that then forced him to suck in a slightly deeper breath, which was exactly what Hotch was hoping for.
"Stay with me, alright? I know you're tired, I know. But stay with me…"
Reid's next inhale remained shallow and fast, prompting Hotch to press his fingers harder against his sternum for firmer stimulation. Reid gasped, pulling in a fuller breath, followed by another, and then another.
Morgan let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding while JJ wiped her eyes again, and Gideon pressed harder on the accelerator as gravel flew behind them. Hotch held Reid's trembling body close, bringing his lips near Reid's ear.
"Shh, that's it, I’m sorry… just like that, that’s better, there we go…"
Morgan turned partially around in the front seat. "JJ, wet wipes. Something. Anything."
JJ scrambled through the glove compartment with shaking hands until she found a half-used pack and passed them back.
Hotch tore a wipe out with one hand and, while still cradling Reid's head, began wiping gently at his face. The dirt came off in muddy, grayish-brown streaks across the cloth, with the first swipe revealing far too pale skin beneath. Hotch sighed inwardly as Morgan reached over, steadying Reid's head so Hotch could reach better.
"Easy... easy, kid," Morgan murmured, his voice thick with emotion.
Reid let out a broken little whimper.
"Spencer... can you hear me?" Hotch ventured to hope.
Another small sound escaped him like Reid was trying to speak through a dream. Hotch cupped Reid's cheek, his thumb sweeping gently across the clean skin.
"You're okay," Hotch whispered. "You're right here with me. With all of us."
Reid's brows pinched as if he were trying to force his eyes open. His lashes fluttered once, then again, but the effort itself exhausted him.
Looking down, Hotch realized the reason Reid's eyes wouldn't open wasn't just weakness or exhaustion, but tiny grains of dirt and sand packed into his lashes, sealing his eyelids shut with mud.
Hotch sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. "All right... Spencer, I need you to stay still for me, okay?"
Reid made a tiny noise, sounding half confused and half scared. Hotch grabbed another wipe from JJ, warmed it between his hands for a second, and carefully brought it to Reid's right eyelid.
The moment the cold cloth brushed his skin, Reid jerked with a small, sharp turn of his head and a shiver, twitching his fingers as if to push the uncomfortable sensation away.
“Shh, I know it's cold, I know, just keep your eyes closed…"
Whether Reid couldn’t hear Hotch or just chose to be stubborn even now, his lashes fluttered weakly. The grit clearly shifted into his eyes, because Reid’s efforts were immediately followed by a small noise of pain.
"No, no, don't try to open them," Hotch repeated gently. "I know you're trying to help, but it'll hurt. Just keep them closed… there you go…"
Reid made a little whine and tried turning his head away again. Hotch cupped the side of his face, gently guiding him back.
"Spencer... no. Come on, don't move your head."
Hotch's fingers tightened slightly around the base of Reid’s head, holding it steady yet tenderly. Another noise escaped him, closer to a sob, at the new inability to move
"You were under a lot of pressure," Hotch whispered to him. "I don’t want you moving your neck until we know you’re okay, so I need you to stay still, please."
Reid's breathing fluttered again in short, rapid bursts, followed by another tiny, broken sob.
JJ turned around as Reid tried to turn his head again with that same frightened, helpless noise.
"I know," Hotch whispered in a voice full of shattered calm. "I know, kiddo. You’re going to be fine, I promise…"
Reid made another thin whimper as his mouth trembled faintly.
“Hotch, is he crying?” JJ whispered as she turned around, her own eyes red.
Hotch wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. The kid seemed to be crying, and God knew he deserved every second he needed to cry, but no tears came. Hotch took Reid’s hand in his to gently pinch at the skin.
“That’s not good…" he murmured faintly. Then, to JJ, he whispered, "We’re going to need to tell them he's severely dehydrated; get fluids started right away. Who knows how long…" Hotch cut himself off, shaking his head.
Morgan cursed under his breath. "That bad?"
Hotch’s lack of an answer as he kept his eyes on the kid in his arms was answer enough. Hotch pressed his forehead to the top of Reid's head for a moment, grounding himself against the surge of guilt and fear that threatened to consume him, before lifting his head and wiping stubbornly at his eyes.
Reid's breathing stuttered in another attempt at a sob, still with no tears. Hotch wiped gently at the dirt on his eyelids again, careful not to distress him further.
"That's it," he murmured. "I know it's cold, I know… almost done, I’m sorry, easy…"
Hotch’s gentle hands continued to brush the dirt and grime away from Reid’s other eye, and Reid didn't flinch as hard this time, but Hotch could tell it was taking an effort from him to keep still.
"I know, I know… I'm almost done."
Finally, after several careful passes, Reid's eyes were free of grit.
"Okay, there we go. We’re done."
Reid gave an exhausted exhale of relief and pain woven together. Hotch brushed his hair back from his forehead, and he hated to see that his hands were still shaking. They likely hadn’t stopped since finding Reid in that cemetery. Hotch kept cleaning gently, using careful wipes along Reid's forehead, temples, the bridge of his nose, and the corners of his mouth. Reid's breathing hitched with a small, barely-there gasp when Hotch touched his cheek.
"I know," Hotch murmured. "Shh, I know. It’s just me. Listen... can you try to open your eyes for me?"
Reid whimpered again in a small, apologetic distress.
"It's okay," Hotch said instantly. "Only if you can. No pushing. Just try."
Morgan held his breath while JJ's hands clasped so tightly her knuckles turned white. Reid made a fragile sound as his lashes fluttered, a tiny quiver showing his body understood even if it lacked the strength to obey.
"That's it. That's enough. You're trying, you're doing so well."
Reid's face tightened with pain and effort as he tried to lift his eyelids again, his right side lifting just enough for Hotch to see the faintest sliver of hazel. He let out a low, miserable little noise, whether at the effort or the dim lighting in the car, Hotch wasn’t sure.
"Oh, Spence…" JJ whispered. Nobody had to ask what she meant. Even barely seeing Reid’s pupils, they were like pinpricks compared to his iris.
Hotch's breath caught, and he tried his best to change the unvoiced subject as he focused back on Reid. He had prayed that Hankle hadn’t given Reid more than what they’d already seen, but hell, he had nearly killed the kid with that godforsaken drug… he was just lucky Spencer was alive and breathing in his arms, even now. He’d have to watch him, of course, but none of that would matter if they didn’t get him to the hospital in time.
"That's it," he murmured, his voice breaking. "There you are,” Hotch brushed his thumb along Reid's cheek. "We’re taking you to the hospital, alright?”
Reid made a small sound in response, a thin, strained breath that almost sounded like a whine before another tremor rolled through him. It wasn't like the convulsions from before, thank God. Hotch pulled his heavy jacket around Reid's shivering body as gently as possible, making sure not to disturb his neck. Reid’s hand twitched a couple of times against him, prompting Hotch to gently take it in his own to let him feel the contact.
Hotch felt Reid relax a little at the new hold and the hand in his, but after a few minutes, the alarm bells began going off in Hotch’s head again. Reid was already limp against him due to exhaustion, but even so, he began to sag heavier into Hotch’s arms as his uneven breathing softened, stretched, and thinned into a deep unconsciousness.
"Spencer?" Hotch murmured, tightening his hold. "Hey, stay with me for one more second, okay?"
Reid didn't respond, his head lolling against Hotch's chest.
“He’s out?” Morgan asked in slight alarm, glancing up at Hotch.
Hotch nodded, tightly, his eyes never leaving Reid. "Yeah," he murmured. “It’s okay. He’ll be okay.”
Reid let out another tiny exhale, almost as if to confirm. Hotch adjusted his hand, carefully prying it from Reid’s limp grip so he could press it firm against the kid’s chest to feel every shallow rise.
JJ reached back to drape an emergency blanket over his shoulders, but it didn't stop the relentless, shuddering cold racking his body.
"Aaron… isn’t this dangerous, letting him sleep like this?” JJ challenged more than asked.
"No," Hotch said firmly. "If we wake him now, we're going to make everything worse. He’s barely hanging on as it is, and keeping him awake will just push him more than he can take."
"But Hotch, what if he's—"
"He's breathing," Hotch insisted calmly, feeling the small, weak rise beneath his palm. "He needs to stay as calm as he can until we know if he’s stable. It's the only thing giving his body a chance to recover from everything."
Reid shuddered violently again, a breath catching in his throat as if struggling against memories of the dark earth.
"Shhh, shh shh,” Hotch soothed gently. “You’re okay. We’re all here with you now, easy…”
JJ watched Reid struggle, her heart shattering. "He must have been so scared," she whispered to Morgan, who nodded with pursed lips.
"He must have been terrified,” Hotch corrected softly, adjusting the blanket as Reid's mouth quivered in his sleep. "No one goes through what he went through without wounds, externally and internally.” The implication hung heavy in Hotch’s words. “He can’t tell us everything that happened yet, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to be seeing side effects.”
Morgan dragged a hand over his face. "So what are you saying? That we just need to wait this out? That we can’t do anything that will help him?"
"You're doing something," Hotch replied. "We all are. We got him out. That’s definitely something."
Reid trembled continuously in Hotch’s hold, even though he was well under by now.
"Is it supposed to be this bad?" JJ whispered.
Hotch sighed. "I don’t know," he admitted softly. "But it's going to stop as soon as we get him warm, hydrated, and on a sedative, maybe," He lifted his head, his gaze meeting Gideon’s in the rearview mirror. “How much farther?”
“Less than five minutes,” Gideon murmured, his voice rough and barely audible.
***
The hospital lights finally came into view over the horizon right as Reid stirred weakly, making a sluggish attempt to lift his head.
"No, Spencer, don't move," Hotch whispered quickly, bracing the back of Reid's skull to keep it aligned with his spine. "Your neck, don't move your neck, remember, work with me—"
Reid didn't understand. The only thing he felt was Hotch blocking him from moving.
"Easy, easy now..." Hotch murmured. "Just breathe."
A sharp inhale caught in Reid's throat, triggering another violent coughing fit. Hotch lifted him slightly, keeping him angled forward a little.
"Shh, okay, easy, easy—"
Gideon stopped right in front of the ER bay, and Hotch was already shouting orders before they were fully parked.
"JJ, Morgan, go, find someone, now—"
JJ bolted toward the sliding doors with Morgan right behind her.
Hotch stayed in the back seat for a second, contemplating on the best way to move Reid.
“Got him?” Gideon asked from the front. He didn’t turn around to look Hotch in the eye.
“I’ve got him, I’ve got him…” Hotch murmured. He slid one arm under Reid's knees and the other behind his back, supporting his neck one hand. Reid stirred weakly, his eyelids fluttering at the movement.
"Shh, stay down," Hotch murmured, pulling Reid toward his chest. "You’re alright, I've got you. Don't move your head, easy, there you go..."
Hotch eased out of the SUV, cradling Reid against his chest as cold air hit them, making Reid shiver even harder.
"I know," Hotch whispered, adjusting the blanket. "I know, I know… God, Reid, I’m so sorry…"
Reid’s whole body was still shaking, his fingers twitching against Hotch's coat. The moment Hotch bore his full weight, his heart dropped, because Reid was completely, utterly limp in his arms with no muscle response at all. It felt even worse standing with him than it did in the car. If Hotch hadn't felt the faint, fluttery breaths hitting his collarbone, he would have thought Reid was gone.
"Keep breathing, Spencer," Hotch prayed out loud. "Come on, just keep breathing."
The ER staff ran toward them with a gurney, led by JJ.
"He's hypothermic, in shock, with a possible cervical injury and unknown duration without proper oxygen levels," Hotch rambled off, still cradling Reid protectively as the kid's head lolled slightly.
"Shhh, relax," Hotch murmured, guiding Reid's cheek back to his shoulder. “We’re getting you help, you’re alright…”
Morgan met them halfway. "Hotch, how is he?"
Hotch shook his head. "Honestly…I don't know."