Chapter Text
CHAPTER FOUR: NOBODY SAID IT WAS EASY
“Alice…”
Alice shook her head in short, jerky movements. Her hands began to shake lightly from shock.
“Alice, look at me. Please.”
Alice turned her head to the side. She knew she was acting like a petulant child, like how Nathaniel, Cora, and Chingachgook all saw her; could not find it within herself to care. Was she not allowed one human moment considering everything that had happened in the last few days? Was it truly a weakness to feel emotional after seeing so much death, to be scared that her luck had run out and she would be next?
Uncas ran his fingers down the length of her arm until he touched her fingers. He gently wrapped his hand around her own. Alice gripped his hand in return as if it was a lifeline. His touch was the only thing tethering her to reality.
“You are going to leave me.”
Alice could hear Nathaniel and Duncan arguing (they were always arguing) in the background. She didn’t care to listen. Let them have their arguments. All she wanted was for Uncas to stay here, with her. She needed him.
“It is safer for me to go.”
“I don’t care!” Alice whispered harshly as tears began to fall down her face. She hated herself for wasting what could be her last moments with him by arguing. However, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling anger and betrayal when Nathaniel declared that he, Uncas, and Chingachgook were going to leave their group in an effort to get Magua to follow them and leave the others alone. “It is safer for me with you. I want to stay with you.”
Uncas tugged her hand lightly. Alice stared resolutely ahead. He tugged again, a bit more insistently this time, and Alice finally acquiesced and turned her head to look at him. Unlike her appearance, which was riddled with fear, Uncas looked calm and sure. Alice felt whatever hope she had at convincing Uncas to stay leave her body in one swift motion.
With the hand not holding her own, Uncas caressed the length of the braid he had so carefully made only an hour before. She had been so close to unknowingly going over the cliff’s edge. He had pulled her away, held her as she cried, and whispered words of comfort. And then, when she had calmed, he had kissed her. It had been one of the most tragic and most beautiful moments of her life. When Uncas had braided her hair, she had felt like nothing in the world could touch them or tear them away from each other. Being together with him felt as inevitable as the tide washing along the shore; nothing and no one could stop it.
“You and I… we are bound together. Wherever you are, I will be.”
Alice cupped Uncas’s cheek with her hand. He nuzzled into her touch, his eyes never leaving her own.
“P-promise?”
“I promise, Alice. I will come for you. Always.”
XXXXX
“Miss Alice, may I have a word with you?”
Alice looked up from the lesson plan she was working on. George was standing in front of her desk, looking more serious than she had ever seen him. She frowned as she glanced over his shoulder and saw a group of girls staring out the window. No matter how many times she had told them to stay focused on their work until school ended, they were simply unable (uninterested) to pay attention for the last half hour.
“I need you to speak to about Uncas.”
Alice raised a dark blonde brow. “Oh? Why is that?”
“You know why.”
The corner of Alice’s lips twitched, and she had to force herself to remember she was currently George’s teacher, not his sister, and that it would be unprofessional to tease him for what he perceived to be a tragic misfortune.
“I have already instructed the girls to stay away from the window before the end of class. There is nothing else I can do.”
“You could tell him to stop coming early to the school!”
Alice bit her lip. It seemed that poor George was destined to lose to Uncas in nearly everything, including the attention of the older girls in their classroom.
“Alice, they are swooning over him. Swooning! This must be terrible for their education.”
Alice faked a cough to keep herself from laughing. “I am not going to tell Uncas that he can no longer come to the schoolhouse early because the girls in our class are ‘swooning’ over him. You are, however, more than welcome to bring it up with him yourself. I am sure he will find it quite enlightening.”
“This is favoritism!”
Alice patted George’s hand like one would a small child. George petulantly went back to his seat, gazing forlornly at the girls gathered around the window. In truth, Uncas and his… striking features had been a distraction since he had walked Alice to school the previous Thursday. First, because it was a novelty, and now because it was impossible not to notice that he was, as one of the girls had described him, ‘tragically handsome, like a romantic hero from a novel’. This statement was met with much swooning, much to George and a few of the other boys’ consternation.
Alice rang the bell on her desk to signal the end of the day. All at once, the same group of girls gathered by the window went rushing out the door and running down the steps. One or two of the braver ones engaged Uncas in conversation, while the others stood behind them and smiled. Uncas was kind to them, as he always was during their post school routine of speaking with him, and Alice suspected he found the entire situation quite amusing.
Alice rolled her injured ankle a few times before standing and gathering her things. It had been a full week since she had twisted her ankle. The bruising was nearly gone, and her ankle was now back to its normal size. While there was still a bit of pain when she walked, requiring her continual use of the cane, it was not nearly as bad as before. More importantly, Alice was now able to walk up and down the stairs herself, something she was most grateful for. While she loved George dearly and would always be grateful to him for carrying her so many times, his tendency to get distracted while carrying Alice down the school steps due to the girls (Annabelle Walters) congregating around Uncas had caused her to accidentally hit her elbow on the railing a few times.
Uncas bowed his head to the girls and guided his horse towards where Alice and the rest of her siblings were waiting for him. His hair was in two braids today and a white feather was tied at the end of each one. Unfrotunatley for George, Alice could completely understand why the girls had been swooning by the window, having done so herself when Uncas had joined them for breakfast that morning and Alice had seen him for the first time with his hair styled in such a way.
“Uncas, I have something I would like to discuss to you. Man to man.”
Uncas raised an eyebrow at George’s request.
“I am listening.”
“Uh, man-to-man.” George said as he gestured between the two of them. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “That is, away from the women.”
“I’m a man. Can I join?” Jamie asked hopefully.
“No!” George shouted. He winced when the remaining students all turned to look his way. “I mean, no.” He said more quietly. “This is for the older men.”
“You are only four years older than me.”
Deciding to help poor George, who was turning more and more flustered by the second, Alice asked Jamie if he would like to escort her to the general store and get a candy for doing so well with memorizing his sixes. Rosie quickly saddled up to Alice, batting her big blue eyes and saying she would love to escort Alice to the store if Jamie was unwilling. Laughing at Rosie’s brazenness, Alice explained that this was a reward for Jamie only, but if Rosie did well on her oral report on Friday, she could receive a treat from the store as well. Rosie readily agreed before running off to her friends who were waiting to walk home with her. Instructing Uncas to meet her at the general store when his very important conversation with Geroge was complete (George glared at her sarcasm), Alice and Jamie walked hand and hand towards the shop.
“Alice? Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” Alice replied easily as she dramatically swung her and Jamie’s hands between the two of them.
“Do you like Uncas?”
Alice’s movements momentarily faltered. “O—of course I do.”
“Does that mean you have forgiven him for what he did to you?”
This time Alice stopped moving completely. She slowly turned to face Jamie. He looked up at her, his dark brown eyes wide and curious.
“How did you know?” Alice asked slowly.
Jamie shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. “I never told him your name. I just said, ‘my sister’. He knew it without asking you or me, plus he said your actual name, not ‘Miss Alice’, which is proper unless you are familiar with someone. Also, he is Indian. I know there is more than one Indian in the colonies,” he explained, sounding the same way William had, “however, it seemed a little too impossible for an Indian to know your name and not use the formal title in front of it. I decided to watch you two to see if I was correct. I noticed that every time he looks at you when you aren’t looking, he gets really sad, like he lost something and doesn’t know if he will get it back. That is when I decided it had to be him.”
Alice’s brows knit together as she thought over Jamie’s words. She had noticed the same type of sadness in Uncas as well. There had been times when the two of them were together and Alice would say something that would cause Uncas to become sad and slightly withdrawn. The moments had stuck with her because their conversations at the time never warranted such a response from him.
“Jamie, do you think it is possible that Uncas was as sad as I was when I came to live with you?”
“If he was sad, then why didn’t he go to Boston?”
“I do not know. I have been too afraid to ask him.”
“You have?”
“In the beginning, I was afraid it would hurt me to hear him say he did not regret his decision. Then, it was because I did not want to ruin the friendship that was rekindled between us. Now…” Alice exhaled slowly as she pursed her lips together in thought. “I have noticed the same as you; I do not think the last two years have been kind to Uncas. While they have been difficult for me as well, I think they have been hard for him in a different way. I worry that asking about the past will hurt him. I do not want to cause him additional pain by asking him to speak of it.”
“How can you two move forward if you do not know the truth?”
“That was the problem, isn’t it?” Alice responded sadly. She felt her body sag under the weight of what Jamie had said. If she hoped to have a of future with Uncas, something she found herself dreaming of as the days passed, it was paramount they spoke of what happened.
“Papa always says to not wait for tomorrow what can be done today. You must ask him before it is too late.”
Alice affectionately ruffled the younger boy’s hair. Jamie, with his pureness of heart, always had a way of making things feel so simple.
“You are very wise, do you know that?”
Jamie returned Alice’s gentle smile with a bright one of his own. They turned their heads in unison as they heard Uncas’s laughter. Standing next to him, George looked completely put out, his face red from embarrassment and a large scowl on his face. Uncas patted George on the back twice, perhaps a bit harder than necessary if George tilting forward was anything to go by, before walking towards Alice and Jamie. George waited a few seconds, unsure if he should join them or head back home, before following Uncas.
“How did the conversation go?” Alice asked when the two had caught up to them. She smiled at Uncas in thanks as she took his proffered arm. For someone who did not consider himself a gentleman, he had become quite comfortable walking next to her as one over the past three days.
“Splendidly.” George muttered sarcastically.
“What as it about?” Jamie asked.
“Nothing important.” Uncas responded blithely. He kept his eyes ahead as he refused to acknowledge the glare George was currently sending his way.
George scoffed. “It was quite important and it a shame you do not think so.” He pointed his finger towards Uncas in righteous fury. “You are finally going to taste the bitter sting of defeat tonight!”
Uncas laughed lightly, completely nonplussed with George’s declaration.
“I do not think so.”
Alice pretended not to notice the appreciative looks the women were giving Uncas as they entered the general store. George, however, was less subtle, and elbowed Uncas in the side as he whispered that he had not been imagining the way the girls at the school had been looking at him. Uncas merely shrugged his shoulders instead of admitting George had been correct. The entire thing was incredibly petty for both men and Alice found herself hiding her face behind her hand and pretending to sneeze so neither one of them realized she was laughing at how ridiculous they were being.
George took Jamie’s hand and led him towards the checkout counter where the candy was located. He immediately struck up a conversation with Annabelle Walters, whose family owned the store, careful to obscure her vision so she could not stare at Uncas. Annabelle was a feisty girl, with red curly hair and bright green eyes, and was a perfect intellectual match for George. While it was true that she was among the group of girls that were enamored with Uncas, from the way she smiled when she saw George standing before her (and the fact they had been caught kissing two weeks ago), Alice had a sneaking suspicion that Annabelle shared George’s interest.
Alice casually directed Uncas towards the bolts of fabric lining the wall next to the stairs.
“I have decided,” Alice said with a bit of aloofness in her voice, “to make you a shirt. That is, if you are still interested, of course.”
“Does this mean you will not wash mine?”
Alice felt her annoyance pique.
“I will not.”
“I would rather you wash my shirt.”
“I am not going to do that.”
Uncas hummed in disappointment as he surveyed the fabric.
“What color?” He asked with a bit of suspicion in his voice that Alice did not care for.
“One that will look the worst on you since you are being impossible.” Alice replied tartly. She pretended to examine the ugliest colors with deep interest. “You should be thanking me for offering to make you one, not acting as if I would choose the worst color for you on purpose.”
Uncas chuckled. He maneuvered himself in front of the fabrics to force Alice to look at him. His dark brown eyes were wide and teasing and reminded Alice of a puppy.
“You wouldn’t do that.”
“And why not?”
“Because then you would have to look at me in it.”
Alice huffed in equal parts annoyance and amusement. Uncas bent over until he was eye level with her.
“Thank you,” he said earnestly, “for making me a shirt.”
“You’re welcome.” Alice said with a pleased smile, both for getting what she wanted and because his thanks was genuine. She slid her hand down Uncas’s arm and interlaced their fingers together before returning her attention to the fabric. “Which color would you like?”
Uncas shrugged. “’Dunno. I have never chosen before. I always got what fit best.”
“Is there a color you like more than others?”
“Pink.”
Alice’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ in surprise. Pink was generally considered a more feminine color and Alice struggled to picture someone as rugged as Uncas wearing it.
“It was the color you wore when we first met. You were yelling at me for sending the horses away, and all I could think about was how you were the prettiest girl I ever saw.”
“O-oh.”
“And that you were wrong for thinking we should have kept the horses.” Uncas blinked as he carefully surveyed each bolt of fabric. “They don’t have that color here.”
Alice chuckled. Uncas was quite possibly the only man to say something so sweet followed by something so practical. He was right, of course; it was a good thing he had sent away the horses, and there was no shade of pink at the store. She would need to order that specific color from a shop in Boston.
“No, they do not.” Alice said fondly as she smiled at Uncas’s profile. He was so engrossed in deciding on a color, she did not think he felt her eyes on him at all. He curled his fingers on his left hand, the one she was not holding, and began to fiddle with the bracelet she had made him.
“What about green?” She asked as she pointed to the dark green bolt of fabric. “It pairs well with pink, even though it is not the same color. Or you could choose red.”
Uncas tilted his head in thought. “I like the green.” He said after a few moments. “It reminds me of the leaves in the forest.”
“Green it is.”
Alice took the bolt of fabric to Annabelle to cut for her. She also purchased brown buttons, matching thread, and peppermint candy for her and Jamie, orange for George, and cherry for Uncas.
The walk home was home was good. Alice smiled the entire way as George, his annoyance with Uncas forgotten, and Jamie tried to teach Uncas one of their favorite songs. It was another one of those moments that Alice was grateful for. Uncas could not sing, something that brought George great happiness, and watching the easy relationship between her adopted brothers and the man she cared for filled her heart with warmth.
XXXXX
Alice laughed from the kitchen window as she watched her family and Uncas play in the field in front of their home. George had, in fact, not beaten Uncas in a game of marbles that night. He had gotten over it quickly, however, which William had been very proud of as George had always been something of a sore loser. George, along with Jamie, Rosie, and Uncas, were now running around with Rosie on his shoulders and Jamie on Uncas’s as they played a game of tag. While Alice had been invited to join them outside, she had declined, anxious to begin working on Uncas’s shirt while she argued internally with herself on if she should order a pale pink fabric from Boston. She wandered back to the kitchen table and begun to cut the fabric.
“Be merry my friends, and list a while
Unto a merry jest,
It may from you produce a smile,
When you hear it expressed.”
Alice dropped the scissors she was holding. They landed on the kitchen table with a dull thud. She would know that voice anywhere.
“Of a young man lately married,
Which was a boone good fellow;
This song in’s head he always carried,
When drink made him mellow.”
Alice flew to the kitchen window. There, coming up the trail, was Paul. His curly blonde hair hung lose around his collar bones and he wore a wide brimmed straw hat. He wore a dark brown linen shirt, suspenders, black breeches, gray socks, and ankle leather boots. He had a wide grin on his face that had always reminded Alice of sunshine as he sang the remaining words to Juice of Barley.
Rosie spotted him first. She pulled George’s hair in Paul’s direction and ordered him to run. George did so without complaint. He and Paul where as close as two brothers could possibly be. Jamie, more demure but no less excited, requested that Uncas put him down before he ran to meet Paul. He beckoned Uncas to follow him.
Tight, dreadful knots began to form in the pit of Alice’s stomach.
“Outside.” She said quickly as her body filled with dread. “I have to go outside. Right now.”
“Excited to see Paul, are you love?” Ingrid asked from behind her. She had joined Alice at the window as soon as she heard Paul’s singing.
Alice shook her head. She turned and caught William’s eye. Unlike her anxiousness, or Ingrid’s joy, William looked incredibly calm for someone who knew what would happen the second Paul knew who Uncas’s identity. She began running towards the door, forgetting her cane in her rush to intervene what she feared was about to happen.
William reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her before she was able to reach the door. They stood side-by-side in the living room. Alice looked desperately at the door as William held her gently in place. Tears, brought on from her worry, sprang to her eyes.
“Sometimes you have to let what will happen, happen.”
“But—”
“What has gotten in to the both of you?” Ingrid asked. She had her hands on her hips and was looking at both William and Alice like they had grown two heads. “Paul—”
“Uncas is the man who left me in Boston.”
Ingrid’s sky-blue eyes widened. She opened and closed her mouth a few times as she processed what Alice had told her.
“He-he is?”
Alice nodded.
“William, did you know about this?”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?!”
“I thought you would be able to put it together on your own.”
“You have known me for twenty years, William Brown. When have I ever been able to put together something like this on my own? Everyone knows that unless something is explicitly stated I will never be able to—”
Ingrid gasped loudly. She put her hand over her mouth as her mind began to recall everything Alice had told her about her time with Uncas and the others.
“Alice, how many men did you say Uncas defended you against?”
“Which time?” Alice asked without thinking. Her mind was partly paying attention to the conversation between William and Ingrid while also thinking of the numerous scenarios happening outside. She forced her mind to focus on Ingrid as the older woman cried out in fear. “I mean, um, there were several times when we were attacked, you see, and the amount of men attacking us was the never the same…” Alice trailed off helplessly when it became clear her rambling was only making Ingrid’s distress worse.
“He is going to kill him!”
“Uncas is not going to—oof!”
William was unable to finish his sentence due to his wife shoving both him and Alice out of the way so she could run to the door. As Ingrid was about to touch the handle, the door flew open, and she was barely able to jump back in time lest she be hit. Rosie ran through the doorway, panting. She looked at her mother and father with wide eyes.
“Paul punched George in the face!”
Ingrid gasped while Alice’s jaw went slack from shock and William ran his hand over his beard. Whatever the three of them had been expecting Rosie to say, it had not been that. Jamie entered the house next. He was clutching Uncas’s arm and crying. George followed. The bottom part of his jaw, just below his right ear, was bright red and the corner of his lip was split. He quickly found Alice and smiled proudly.
“Ma-Mama! Paul pu-punched George in the face! Why would he—why would he do that? It was so scary!” Jamie let go of Uncas and threw himself into Ingrid’s arm. She patted his back and began to rock him back and forth.
“It wasn’t that scary.” Rosie retorted.
Ingrid shot Rosie a glare to let her know she needed to show more compassion to her brother. Rosie, instantly contrite, walked over to Jamie gave Jamie a hug while she whispered that she was sorry.
“He was going to punch me.” Uncas clarified calmly, though he looked anything but, his eyes were a mixture of confusion and something else Alice had never seen before. “George jumped in front of me and took the hit instead.”
George puffed out his chest. He looked extremely pleased with himself, and extremely out of place in a room where everyone was either confused, worried, or crying. Alice looked past his shoulder at the open door behind him. Paul had not come inside.
“Paul always said if he ever met the man who broke Alice’s heart, he would punch him.” George explained. Alice wondered if she was the only person in the room who noticed how Uncas’s shoulders tightened at George’s description of him. “None of us knew his name, and I thought Paul didn’t either, until I saw recognition flash across his face when Jamie introduced him to Uncas. I knew what was about to happen and knew it wasn’t right, so I jumped in front of him.”
“Wh-why would you do that?” Alice stuttered.
“It was the right thing to do.” George beamed as he slapped Uncas on the back. The older man looked surprised at the display of affection. “Uncas is a good person. Whatever Paul thinks, or the rest of us have thought, is wrong. I am sure of it.”
“You knew this entire time that Uncas was the man who left Alice in Boston?” Ingrid asked.
Alice frowned as Uncas flinched.
“I did.” George confirmed happily. “I figured it out when A—Jamie and him were working on the deer hide. Uncas didn’t have his shirt on and there are…” George trailed off when he realized what he was about to share with everyone in the room. It was personal and traumatic for Alice and Uncas, and it would be inappropriate for him to share the details of a story that was not his own. George cleared his throat as he made a vague gesture to his torso. “That, combined with the way he treats Alice, made it clear to me that he is the same man.”
“I knew as well.” Jamie revealed between sniffles. “It is the way he looks at her.”
“Did everyone know except me?”
Rosie shook her head. “I didn’t know.”
Ingrid sighed, unsure how to feel about the only two people who had not managed to put together Uncas’s identity were her and her eight-year-old daughter. William smiled at her reassuringly to let her know she was an intelligent woman even if she struggled to see what was obvious to everyone else.
“Alice?”
Alice’s eyes drifted from Uncas, who had begun to look rather defeated with his downcast eyes and sagging shoulders, to George.
“Paul wanted me to tell you he wants to speak with you outside. Alone.”
Alice nodded. She opened her mouth to say something to Uncas, to assure him that though her family had referred to him in such a way, it was only because of what had happened, and not because they continued to hold anger towards him on her behalf. Her moment was lost, however, as Ingrid asked for his help in treating George’s jaw, which was beginning to bruise. She was forced to settle for letting her fingers brush against his own as she walked past him. Alice prayed it would be enough to bring him out of the depression he was beginning to fall under as she walked out the door.
XXXXXX
Alice allowed herself a moment to study Paul as she stepped outside. The sun was beginning to set beyond the trees, and it cast him in a warm, pleasing glow. He was sitting on the porch’s lone step with his back to her. His long arms were resting on his knees, and his hands were folded together. He had removed his hat, and it was sitting on the porch next to him. Alice had always preferred him without a hat; his blonde, curly hair was so beautiful it felt like a shame to hide it away.
Alice quietly sat next to Paul. They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rustle of the wind in the trees and the crickets beginning to sing.
“I saw him, in Boston.”
Alice’s eyes widened slightly. Paul’s voice, a pleasing combination of soft and husky, had always been a striking contrast to his bright and cheerful personality. They were two opposites that should not have gone together and yet did for reasons Alice did not understand.
“Y-you did?”
Paul nodded, the sharp cut of his jaw moving up and down with the motion.
“He came to the tavern. I was cleaning tables when I heard him ask Uncle Brandon about a young girl traveling alone who had stayed there two years ago. Miss Alice Munroe.”
“Did you tell him where I was?”
Paul shook his head, his hair swaying with his movement. The blonde curls were still tucked behind his ears. He had yet to look at Alice, preferring to keep his blue eyes fixed on the trees surrounding the farm.
“No. Uncle Brandon told him he couldn’t remember anyone from that far back because of all people who come and go. He asked me next. I gave him the same answer and said he would have better luck finding a needle in a haystack.” Paul gave a short, hollow laugh. “That is probably what gave it away that we did know you. He looked at me real funny after that, like he knew I was lying. I thought he was your sister’s husband and had come to find you and force you back to London. I never thought it would be him.”
What felt like a million thoughts began racing through Alice’s head. Uncas had claimed to be in Lexington to find someone he needed to return something to, but if he had been at the tavern asking about her whereabouts…
Something did not add up.
“How did he know to come to know that I am living in Lexington?”
Paul shrugged his shoulders. “Guess he figured it out, though I don’t know how. You know none of us would have ever told him, especially since we thought he was the brother. I would never allow them to come here and force you to go to London, or back to live with them, wherever that is. You belong here, where you are happy and free.”
Free
That is what Alice had told Cora when she had responded to Cora’s letter. Cora had written to inform her that Uncas would not be coming to Boston, and that she was to take the next ship to London. After crying for days, and with Paul at her side, Alice had responded in no uncertain terms that she would not be going to London as her sister had told her to do, and that Uncas not coming for her did not change that. She was choosing freedom, a life where she would make her own decisions, and that neither she nor Nathaniel should ever come looking for her; she was never returning to them.
“You saved my life when you brought me here.”
“You saved our lives by coming.”
With his declaration, Paul finally looked at Alice. He was beautiful in a way that reminded Alice of the Greek Gods she had learned about when she was a child; his features were sharp and masculine, his blonde lashes perfectly framed wide, round eyes that were blue beyond description, his light pink lips were full and masculine, and the splattering of freckles across his cheeks accentuated his cheeks bones perfectly. Nearly every young girl in Lexington, and most in Boston, were in love with Paul Brown. Alice, however, had never loved him as anything other than a friend, and later a brother. Paul had always felt the same, which was why they were able to be so close. It was easy to be comfortable together when there was never anything to ponder or dissect; Alice and Paul would always love each other as friends and siblings and never as anything more than that.
“Why is he here, Alice?”
“I… I don’t know.”
Alice bit her bottom lip. Before she could stop herself, she was telling Paul everything, from the way she twisted her ankle, to Uncas carrying her home, their late-night tea conversation, him taking her to and from school, how he would spend the evenings playing games with the family, their time spent in the garden, and even the details of that very afternoon when they had gone shopping for fabric. She told him how her heart would skip a beat and butterflies would dance in her chest when she was with him, how she longed to see him smile and hear his laughter, how his presence would soothe whatever pain she felt; and, finally, she told Paul of what William and Jamie had said, how Uncas looked at her like she was the most important thing to him while also looking so sad to be near her that it made them all believe he had gone through something just as heartbreaking as she had.
“Have you asked him why he did not come?”
Alice glumly shook her head. “I… I am too afraid to.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“What if I cause him pain by asking him? I do not wish to hurt him.”
“Is that the only reason?” Paul asked doubtfully.
“I…” The corners of Alice’s lips turned downward. She could not stop the fear and pain beginning to take root in her heart. “I am still in love with him, Paul, now more than ever. I do not want things to change between us. What if the truth is too much for both of us? What will happen to me if we cannot move forward and have no choice but to part again? You saw what happened before. I do not think I could bear it this time he walks away from me. I fear it will break me beyond repair.”
“That won’t happen, Alice.”
Alice smiled ruefully as a single tear fell down her cheek. “Which part?”
“The part where you break beyond repair.” Paul gazed at her softly. “You have more courage than most everyone I know. You got out of bed when you did not want to, you ate when you felt like you could not, and you came to a place you did not know and worked and grew until nobody could ever say you were not worthy of the life you desired.” Paul leaned forward and bumped her gently on the shoulder. “You will survive this, though I do not think you have anything to worry about.”
“And why is that?”
“Just a hunch.”
Alice rested her head on Paul’s shoulder, his words calming the emotions she had been feeling. With each breath, Alice could feel herself growing more confident in herself and her ability to face whatever Uncas told her. She laughed lightly as Paul began to hum Rural Felicity.
“I hate that song.”
“I know.”
“Would you sing it for me anyway?”
Alice felt Paul’s smile as he leaned his head against her own and kissed her hair.
“Of course.”