Chapter Text
Minji stayed true to her word. There was no more distance, or pulling away, or drama. It was as if a switch had flipped in Minji’s brain, and whatever it was that caused her odd behaviour had completely vanished. There was still no real clarity on the reason behind Minji’s avoidance—she never fully explained it. But Hanni decided not to push. Minji was a pretty closed book and tended to work her issues out on her own; Hanni respected that. All she cared about was getting Minji back, and everything else was irrelevant. And now, things were back to how they were before. Maybe even better than before. Minji was deeply committed to making it up to Hanni. She’d panic at the slightest pout on Hanni’s face or any hint of upset in her voice, fussing over her until she was certain Hanni was perfectly happy. Hanni definitely wasn’t complaining about all the attention. She had an overly-determined Minji at her beck-and-call, eager to please. Who wouldn’t love that?
When Hanni mentioned wanting to do another item from their bucket list, Minji immediately agreed, suggesting they do their first date next. Even more, she insisted on planning the whole thing and proudly proclaimed she would give Hanni the best first date ever. The confident glint in her eye let Hanni know she had no choice but to sit back and allow Minji to handle everything herself. Two days later, a ‘love letter’ was slid under her bedroom door inviting her on said date. It was written on what Hanni recognized as Minji’s favorite fancy stationery, the one she only used for special occasions. Hanni was pretty shocked by how seriously Minji was taking the whole thing. When she asked Minji about the note, she simply shrugged and said, “It’s part of the first date experience,” like it was obvious.
Now Hanni was sitting in her room, waiting for Minji to ‘pick her up’ for their date. Hanni thought it was stupid since they live in the same apartment, and she told her that much, but Minji asserted that it was a crucial element of a first date. Hanni still thought it was stupid, but she indulged in Minji’s silly romance rules anyway.
Finally, a knock sounded at her door. Hanni looked herself over in the mirror one last time before opening the door.
“Woah,” was the first thing Minji said, eyeing Hanni up and down.
“Woah?” Hanni repeated self-consciously. She followed Minji’s gaze and looked down at herself. Is something wrong with my outfit?
“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Minji said bashfully. “Hi. These are for you. You look beautiful, by the way.” She held out a bouquet.
Hanni was caught off guard by the flowers. They were clearly picked with her tastes in mind; the arrangement was simple but still stunning—perfect for a girl like Hanni, who preferred subtlety to extravagance. She probably shouldn’t be that surprised, though; this was a date and Minji never half-assed anything.
“Wow, you’re really in character for this date, Minji.” Hanni accepted the bouquet and admired them for a moment before carefully setting them on her desk.
“This is only the beginning. Are you ready to go?”
“Mhm, just let me grab my purse.”
“You won’t need it.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m taking you out,” she said with a shrug. “Obviously I’m paying for everything.”
“No way,” Hanni scoffed and grabbed her bag anyway. Date or not, she could pay for herself. “Alright, let’s go.”
Minji held the front door open for her. “After you.”
Hanni had no clue where Minji was taking her for their date, but she was anxious to find out. Minji had been hyping it up all week, and the suspense was killing her.
“Come on,” Hanni whined. “Give me a hint at least.”
“That’d ruin the surprise. And we’re almost there. You’ll find out soon.”
“Ugh, why does it have to be a surprise?”
“It’s more fun that way.” The car slowed, pulling over. “See? Told you we were close.”
The second the car came to a complete stop, Minji hurried out, rushing to the other side to open Hanni’s door before she even had a chance to unbuckle her seat belt. Hanni giggled at the frantic chivalry.
As Hanni stepped out of the car, a large sign came into view: SEA LIFE AQUARIUM. She gasped in recognition. “No way,” she excitedly hit Minji’s arm.
“I knew you’d like it.” Minji looked entirely proud of herself.
Hanni impatiently grabbed Minji by the wrist and dragged her inside.
Hanni slowed in awe as they made their way into the aquarium. There was so much to see—sharks, turtles, seals, penguins—Hanni thought she could spend all day lost in there.
“What do you want to see first?”
“I don’t know, it all looks so cool,” Hanni furrowed her brows as she stared down at the map in her hands.
“How about we start here and see where it takes us?” Minji pointed to the jellyfish exhibit.
Hanni nodded in agreement, and Minji slipped her hand down to thread their fingers together. Hanni stilled for a moment at the contact. It wasn’t unusual for them to hold hands, but the intimacy felt more weighted when Hanni remembered that they were meant to be on a date. She was already on the reserved side when it came to physical affection, and this added another layer of hesitation for her. It must be first date jitters, Hanni thought. Why else would she be nervous from something as simple as holding hands?
Minji noticed her pause. “You good?”
“I’m great.” Hanni nodded, pushing any lingering nerves far from her mind.
Minji gave her a small smile and tightened her grip on Hanni’s hand as they walked further into the aquarium.
“Wow,” Hanni said, taking in the view.
There were hardly any lights, only the bright blue and green glow of the jellyfish shining through the glass.
The two walked together in silence. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but Hanni found herself struggling to start a conversation.
“What do people even talk about on dates?”
“Honestly, I have no clue. I didn’t factor that into my planning,” Minji frowned. Then, she cleared her throat. “So…you come here often?” Minji said, trying—and failing—to sound suave.
“Ew! That was so gross, bro,” Hanni laughed.
“Hey, you can’t call me bro when we’re on a date!” She bumped her elbow against Hanni’s.
“Then what am I supposed to call you?” She nudged Minji back.
“Hmm,” she tapped her chin with her pointer finger. “Babe? Sweetie? Darling?”
“Ew, ew, ew!” Hanni smacked Minji’s shoulder. “I am not calling you that!”
“Oh, come on, why not, baby?”
“Ew! Stop it,” Hanni squealed in disgust.
“Why? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” She was clearly enjoying bugging Hanni.
“Seriously, ew, Minji! I hate pet names.”
“For real? If you were in a relationship, you wouldn’t want a cute nickname?”
“Absolutely not. I don’t care how in love I am, some things are just too cringey.”
“You never know. People say love changes you…maybe when you’re in love you’ll become all sappy and corny like that.”
“No way,” Hanni insisted. She wouldn’t be caught dead calling someone ‘babe.’
Minji would probably go crazy with pet names, Hanni thought. She wondered what else Minji would do when she was in love. Honestly, it was hard for her to picture Minji dating someone; she’d never really thought about it before. Hanni was used to Minji always being by her side, and whenever she pictured the future, Minji was always there too—there was no space for other people in that picture. If Minji got into a relationship, would she still be by her side like she is now? Probably not, Hanni realized. If she was dating someone, then they couldn’t spend all their time together anymore. There’d be no more movie nights or sleepovers or never-ending phone calls; she could no longer be the sole focus of Minji’s attention. Hanni wasn’t a fan of the idea. She decided then that the person Minji ended up with, whoever they were, she already hated them.
“What would you look for in a significant other?” Hanni suddenly asked, curiosity getting the best of her. She needed to know what kind of person her future enemy would be.
“Oh, um,” Minji let out a nervous half-laugh, clearly not expecting a question like that. “I guess someone who brings out the best in me, you know? Someone who isn’t afraid to call me out and push me to do better. And someone sentimental, definitely. I need someone who can balance out my emotional constipation.” Hanni chuckled at that. At least she’s self-aware. “I think most of all, I just want someone who I can spend forever with and not get tired of. Kind of like a best friend, I guess,” she trailed off at the end, face dimming slightly.
Hanni didn’t know what to think hearing that. ‘Like a best friend,’ what the hell is that supposed to mean? Minji already had a best friend—Hanni! Not only would Minji’s future partner steal all her time, but now they’d steal Hanni’s place as Minji’s best friend too! Hanni held that title proudly, and she wouldn’t let it go without a fight. Her future enemy better watch their back.
“Are you sure someone like that exists?” Hanni asked with a selfish pessimism.
“I’ve got a pretty good feeling they do,” she gave a small smile. That smile made Hanni feel suspicious. Minji seemed awfully certain this dream person existed—did she already have someone in mind? Hanni wanted to grill her for more information, but Minji spoke again before she had the chance, effectively breaking her from her obsessive spiral. “What about you, what would you want?”
“Hmm,” Hanni hummed in thought. “Someone who makes me feel safe and cared for. I want them to be a little bit obsessed with me too—not in a crazy way, just like, I want to feel like the only girl in the world when I’m with them. Oh, and they have to be funny. And tall too. I definitely want someone taller than me.”
“I didn’t know we were including physical traits,” Minji said with a raised brow.
“Why, do you have a type?” Minji’s ears reddened at the question. “Omg, you totally do. Who’s your ideal type? Come on, spill.” She grabbed Minji’s arm, shaking it to get an answer. She really had no clue what her type might be. Minji always managed to evade conversations about crushes and preferences. In all their years of being friends, she had never once expressed interest in anyone.
“I don’t have a type,” she denied unconvincingly, rolling her eyes.
“Everyone has a type, Minji. What about a celebrity crush? You’ve gotta have one of those.”
Minji sighed in resignation. “You’re my celebrity crush,” she said without any hint of humor in her voice. Her face was so serious that if Hanni didn’t know better, she’d think Minji really meant it.
“Ugh, fine, keep it a secret then.” She raised her hands in surrender.
“You don’t believe me? I’m your biggest fan, Pham Hanni! I know all your songs,” she imitated a fawning fangirl.
“Shut up!” Hanni laughed.
They turned and followed the path out of the exhibit, ending up in the deep sea tunnel. Hanni watched in fascination as sharks and rays swam overhead. She made it about halfway through the tunnel before she realized Minji was no longer walking beside her. She glanced over her shoulder, searching for her. Minji was only a few feet behind, phone raised in Hanni’s direction, unsubtly taking pictures of her.
“Why are you taking pictures of me, stalker?” Hanni scrunched her nose.
Minji continued taking pictures, looking at Hanni through the screen of her phone. “You look so pretty right now,” she said plainly.
“Only right now? What, do I not look pretty normally?” Hanni teased, expecting Minji to tease her back.
“I always think you look pretty, Han,” she said without any hesitation. Far from the joke Hanni was expecting. “You’re gorgeous. Drop-dead.”
Made shy by Minji’s earnest compliments, Hanni swiftly redirected the conversation. “Enough secret pics of me. Get some of the sharks too.” She pointed to a sand tiger passing by them, hoping to turn Minji’s focus away from her. Minji, thankfully, obeyed and gave her attention to the creatures swimming through the tank. Hanni watched them with her, trying her best to ignore the lingering flutters in her stomach.
Afterwards, they went to dinner. Minji, of course, had booked a reservation. The restaurant was upscale, but not stifling in the way most fancy restaurants tended to feel. The atmosphere was undoubtedly romantic: candlelight, a live string quartet, floral centerpieces, pricey champagne. Hanni noticed most of the other tables were couples on dates. She felt a bit like an intruder at moments, surrounded by all those paired lovers, like she was tainting the romantic mood by being there on a fake date. But then Minji would do something like reach across the table to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, or softly grasp her hand while she laughed at a dumb joke, or simply stare at her with a dreamy look in her eyes, and Hanni realized she had no reason to worry; they probably looked just like all those other couples, the ones on real dates. Minji was excellent at this fake date thing; anyone watching would think she was actually in love. It was a perfect dinner—almost a perfect dinner.
“I can’t believe you didn’t let me pay for my half of dinner,” Hanni complained as she toed off her shoes and set them next to the front door. “Slipping your card to the server while I was in the bathroom was crazy. You’re so sneaky, Kim Minji.”
“I knew you’d try to fight for the bill when it came. I couldn’t take any chances!” Her voice echoed through the dorm.
Hanni rolled her eyes as they reached her bedroom door—Minji’s way of ‘walking her home.’ Just another one of her silly first date rules.
“So, what did you think of your first date? Did you have fun?”
Honestly, aside from Minji’s awkward attempts at flirting, it didn’t feel much different than their regular hangouts. They often spent time together one-on-one, and Minji was always so caring and attentive; things like holding the door open or carrying her bag for her didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Minji made her feel so comfortable and at ease despite the unfamiliar experience of dating. She hoped all her future dates could make her feel as good as Minji did.
“I always have fun with you,” she said, smiling. “You did a great job with all the planning. I loved it.”
Minji’s face broke out into a proud grin. “I knew you’d like it. Told you I could plan the perfect first date,” she said smugly.
“Well, I don’t know about perfect—there’s always room for improvement,” Hanni said lightly. She couldn’t let Minji’s head get too big over this.
“Really?” Minji cocked her eyebrow in challenge. “What would you have done differently then?”
“First of all,” Hanni held up her index finger. “If my date said she wanted to pay for herself, then I’d let her pay.”
“Oh wow, you’re never going to let that go, are you?” She gave Hanni’s shoulder a soft shove. “Hanni, it’s called chivalry. It’s basic date etiquette that the one who asked does the paying. I bet your dad paid for your mom on their first date.”
Her father had, in fact, paid. Hanni knew this from the hundred times she’d been told the story of their first date: her father had shown up at her mother’s doorstep, bouquet in hand and a nervous smile—not much different than how Minji had shown up today. The similarity was not lost on Hanni. She was starting to understand why her mom was still telling that same story to this day; she, too, would never forget Minji’s stupid, dopey grin when she handed over those flowers.
“Ugh, whatever. I’m just saying, I could do better.”
“Oh really?” She crossed her arms. “Then why don’t you prove it? Plan a date yourself, since you seem to be an expert.”
Hanni had never been one to back down from a challenge, especially one from Kim Minji. “I will! I’m going to take you on the best date ever. Even better than the one you planned. They’re going to call it the best date in the history of dates.”
“Alright, Pham, whatever you say. I’ll look forward to it.”
“You better.”
A moment of quiet passed over the conversation.
“So…um,” Minji scratched the back of her neck nervously. “There’s one last part to a first date, you know?”
Hanni knew what she meant, and she wanted it. Part of her had been anticipating it the whole date. Although they had both agreed that they were open to kissing more (for the bucket list, obviously), neither one of them had been brave enough to broach the topic again since the last time they’d talked about it. After their first kiss, Hanni had been so caught up in her ‘cold war’ with Minji that she didn’t have any chance to reflect on how it made her feel. The next time they kissed, though, Hanni realized very quickly that she enjoyed it. Minji was a good kisser; it was so easy to get lost in her lips and shut the rest of her incredibly stressful, demanding, pressure-filled life out. In that moment, Hanni wasn’t thinking about anything else; she was entirely present, just feeling. Hanni wanted to feel that escape again. She needed it.
“Yeah, I think I know,” she said softly, stepping closer to Minji, looking up at her expectantly.
Minji carefully reached out and tucked Hanni’s hair behind her ear, then slid her hand down to the curve of her jaw, gently cupping it. Slowly, she began to lean forward. Hanni’s eyes fluttered shut. She could feel Minji getting closer, breath brushing her skin. Hanni parted her lips just slightly, ready to capture Minji’s. But their lips never met. Instead, Minji leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Hanni’s forehead.
“Goodnight,” Minji whispered softly. Then she stepped back and headed down the hall to her room.
Hanni stood, stuck in place, stunned and disappointed. How could she walk off after pulling a stunt like that? Unbelievable. You’re so dead, Kim Minji!
Planning a date proved much harder than Hanni anticipated. She spent hours reading articles, browsing Pinterest, watching endless videos just to find a good place to take Minji. She settled on an arcade not far from their apartment. It was a great idea, Hanni thought. Minji had a competitive streak and loved any chance she could get to best Hanni at something. She and Minji could battle it out over arcade games—Hanni would even let her win a few. And then, the most crucial part, she would win Minji a prize from the claw machine. From the countless rom-coms Minji had forced her to watch, Hanni knew that winning a cute plushie on her behalf would be just corny and romantic enough to ensure the date was a success. It was a perfect, infallible plan.
“Ooo, you look nice. Are you going somewhere?” Hyein looked up from her place on the couch as Hanni entered the living room.
“I’m meeting Minji at an arcade,” she replied.
Hanni stood by her belief that picking Minji up for their date, when they lived in the same apartment, was stupid. So, she told Minji to meet her at the arcade. Since they usually travelled together when they went out, she felt it would help make their date feel different than a regular hang-out.
“An arcade?” Hyein gasped excitedly, standing up from the couch. “That sounds so fun! Can I come with you?”
Damn it. It was an unspoken rule in their dorm that all outings were open invitation. Part of it was to ensure no one ever felt left out, but mostly they all just enjoyed each other’s company and never minded when someone wanted to tag along. Until now. Now, Hanni did mind it. She minded it a lot. She was supposed to be taking Minji, and Minji alone, on a date. She’d talked a big game about this date, and this would totally ruin it. She couldn’t exactly set the mood with a (super nosy!) third wheel watching. She was torn. There was no way out of this. Either she invited Hyein along and ruined her date with Minji, or she said no and had to be the jerk who leaves her out on purpose.
“Ah, well, you see…” she started, scrambling for a good excuse. “Minji and I are, um, we’re—”
“Hanni! Cute outfit. Are you heading out?” Dani strolled into the living room, Haerin following after her.
“She’s meeting Minji at an arcade,” Hyein answered for her.
“Oh, fun!” Dani turned and grabbed Haerin’s arm. “Weren’t you just talking about wanting to go to an arcade?”
Haerin nodded. “Yeah, but I wanted to wait till all of us had a free day so we could go together.”
“Aren’t we all free right now?” Hyein asked.
“Oh, right.”
“Oh my gosh! This is just perfect!” Dani exclaimed. “Hanni, did you already book a car?”
“Yeah, it’s waiting out front,” Hanni answered truthfully, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop them from hijacking this date.
“Perfect, let’s go! I’m so excited.”
The three of them happily skipped on their way out of the door, thrilled by the spontaneous outing. Hanni had no choice but to follow after them, dragging her feet in frustration. So much for my perfect plan.
“Hanni!” Minji called and waved her over with a big smile as she entered the arcade. Hanni stepped forward, revealing the 3 guests she brought with her. Minji’s face dropped as she realized that Hanni wasn’t alone. “And…Dani, Haerin, and Hyein,” Minji said, clearly confused.
Hanni shrugged and gave her a look that said, “I’ll explain later.”
“Ooo, I didn’t know they had food here. Do you guys want to eat before we play?” Danielle pointed to the small restaurant to the left of the arcade lobby.
Everyone agreed, deciding to order pizza to share. Minji and Hanni lingered behind the rest of the group as they placed their orders at the counter.
“You know,” Minji nudged Hanni’s elbow. “Usually when people go on dates, they don’t bring 3 friends with them.”
“Shut up, I had no choice. They ambushed me right as I was about to leave and invited themselves,” she said with a grumble.
“That sounds like something they’d do,” Minji nodded understandingly.
Hanni’s gaze followed the movement, and then trailed down, taking in Minji’s full appearance. She looked good. Really good. She always looked amazing, but that was something that usually happened naturally all on its own without Minji even trying. That day, however, it was clear that she had made an intentional effort with her appearance.
“Minji.”
“Hm?”
“Did you curl your hair?” Hanni squinted.
“What? No…” She tucked her hair behind her ear in a poor attempt to conceal her flawlessly styled hair.
“Oh my gosh, you totally did! Look at you, all dolled up for our date,” Hanni giggled and gave Minji’s shoulder a playful slap.
“Shut up,” she said as she knocked Hanni’s hand away and turned her head in embarrassment.
“Hey, I like it,” she said, refusing to let Minji feel insecure. “You look very cute. Super date-able.”
Minji lifted her head. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she reassured softly.
“Guys, come sit, our food’s ready,” Hyein called.
The three girls were already squeezed into one side of the booth seating. Minji sat across from them, and Hanni settled beside her.
A large pizza sat in the center of the table, a few pieces already gone as the other girls had already served themselves. Minji began to reach across the table to grab a slice.
“I’ll get it for you.” Hanni blocked her hand and grabbed the steel server, moving it out of Minji’s reach. Even with an uninvited 3rd (and 4th and 5th) wheel present, this was still a date, and Hanni was determined to give it her best shot.
“You don’t have to do that—” Minji leaned forward, trying to serve herself anyway.
“Just let me do it—” Hanni tried to push Minji’s hand back, accidentally knocking her drink off the table in the process. It spilled onto Minji’s lap, completely soaking her shirt with ice-cold soda.
“Shoot! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that—”
“It’s alright, Han. Calm down, it’ll dry,” she said calmly as she grabbed a handful of napkins and began wiping the drink off to the best of her ability.
“I’m really sorry, Minji,” she said with her head hung low. Her face burned with embarrassment.
“It’s okay, seriously. I bet it will be all dried off by the time we’re done eating, okay? Don’t worry,” Minji said softly, placing her hand over Hanni’s. Even after she’d had an entire drink spilled on her, she was still comforting Hanni without a second thought. It almost annoyed her how sweet Minji was. How dare she take care of me right now? This date is supposed to be all about her, not me! Stupid, perfect Kim Minji.
Fortunately, Hanni still had one part of her plan, a sliver of hope, something that could salvage this disaster date. The claw machine.
“Dumb machine,” Hanni struck the glass of the game in front of her in exasperation. She had been at it for 30 minutes without any success. Her game card was nearly all spent up, and she hadn’t even played anything else yet. All she cared about was getting something cute from this damned claw machine for Minji.
Right. Minji. Where is she? Hanni had been so focused on the claw machine that she had lost sight of her date. Luckily, she saw Minji bounding in her direction just as she turned to look for her.
“Wow, you’re still playing this?”
“This thing is impossible,” she sighed. “It must be rigged or something.”
“Rigged? Really,” she said, unconvinced. “Can I try?”
Hanni stepped aside for Minji to give it a go. She carefully maneuvered the controller, aiming the claw above her target prize. The claw made its descent, securely grasping the toy, and then lifting and dropping it in the delivery chute. Minji grabbed it, smiling from ear to ear at her victory. Hanni couldn’t believe it. She had won on the first try with ease. And it wasn’t just any prize; it was a soft white teddy bear, the exact one Hanni had been trying to win for Minji the last half hour. Just my luck.
“For you,” Minji said as she placed the bear into Hanni’s hands. Hanni accepted it reluctantly with a pout, peeved by Minji’s effortless derailing of her plan.
“What an adorable bear!” Danielle said as she skipped over. “Did you win that?”
“I won it for her. First try too,” Minji beamed with pride.
“First try? Wow, I’m impressed,” Dani smirked and caressed Minji’s arm, jokingly flirting. “Can you win me one? I want to see your skills.”
“Why, of course. Anything for you.” Minji smirked back.
Hanni scoffed at the interaction happening in front of her. Sure, Hanni had messed up their whole date, but it was still a date! God, does Minji have no decency? Entertaining another woman right in front of me. There was no way she was about to win a prize for someone else on their date. Hanni felt a hot pressure building in her head as she watched Dani giggle and point to the prize she wanted Minji to get her. That pressure only intensified, expanding like a balloon set to burst, when Danielle whispered something in Minji’s ear, eliciting a loud, unrestrained laugh from her. They looked so good together, so happy and comfortable. Hanni couldn’t help but wonder if Minji would rather be on a date with Dani instead. Dani probably wouldn’t screw everything up this badly, she thought. Hanni suddenly felt like throwing up, the building pressure becoming too much to stand.
“We’ll be back,” Hanni cut in sharply, grabbing Minji by the wrist and dragging her away from Dani, not looking back once.
She was behaving irrationally, but Hanni couldn’t help it. Those two flirting wasn’t anything new, but for the first time, it provoked Hanni enough for her to act on it. Maybe it was because they were on a date that she felt so irked by it, Hanni reasoned. Minji shouldn’t even look at anyone else right now.
She pulled Minji with her along the back of the arcade, looking for a quiet place. She spotted a photobooth tucked in a corner with no one around. She not-so-gently pushed Minji in and followed after, pulling the curtain shut.
“Woah, what the hell was that about?” Minji asked, startled by Hanni’s abrupt, forceful actions.
Hanni said nothing, just sat there with her arms crossed, too frustrated to speak.
“Hanni, I can see you’re upset. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Hanni uncrossed her arms and tiredly rubbed her face. “Everything’s going wrong,” she admitted. “The girls crashed our date, I ruined your shirt, I couldn’t even win you a stupid prize from the claw machine! This is the worst date ever,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands.
“Han, it’s not that bad, I promise. I’m still having a good time despite all of that. And in your defense, I had a bit of an unfair advantage over you in date planning. I mean, you’re not into all the romance stuff like I am.”
“That’s why it mattered even more for this date to be romantic.” She lifted her head. “You like all those lovey-dovey things, and I really wanted to give you that. You deserve to be taken on a perfect, romantic date.”
“Hanni, it’s okay. And I bet we can still make this date romantic. See?” She grasped Hanni’s hand.
Hanni rolled her eyes affectionately. “Holding hands isn’t romantic, we do it all the time.”
“What about taking some couples pics? Is that romantic?” She searched through the photobooth screen, selecting a heart-covered frame meant for couples.
“That’s not necessarily romantic either. We’ve taken hundreds of pictures together,” Hanni shrugged.
Minji started the photo timer and squished her cheek against Hanni’s. “How about this? Romantic enough?”
Hanni giggled. “No.”
“What about this?” Minji leaned forward and kissed Hanni’s cheek for the next photo. “Romantic?”
Hanni once again shook her head no, egging her on. She knew Minji was doing all this just to cheer her up, and she loved the way the attention made her feel. Whoever got to go on real dates with Kim Minji would be one lucky bastard, Hanni thought. She really was the best.
Hanni turned her head to look at Minji, not realizing how close they had gotten. It suddenly felt like there was hardly any space left in the photobooth; the tension between them was thick and suffocating, and the only way they could go was toward each other.
Hanni instinctively glanced down at Minji’s lips. She remembered what they felt like, how they tasted. She’d missed it. If this were a real date, Hanni thought, this would be the part where I’d kiss you. And so she did. She tipped her chin forward, closing the small remaining space between them. Minji held her hand tighter and returned Hanni’s kiss with a soft sigh that said exactly what Hanni was thinking: finally.
They fell into the rhythm quickly without any thought; they’d grown familiar enough with each other by that point that it was muscle memory. She slotted her fingers into Minji’s hair and tugged her close, not caring about how badly she was messing up the perfectly styled locks. Minji, understanding what Hanni wanted, placed a firm hand on her waist, fingers splayed, gripping her tight, as if Hanni might slip away. A shiver ran down Hanni’s spine at the feeling of Minji’s hand squeezing her. She angled her head, pressing her mouth harder into Minji’s, getting lost in the feeling.
She’d forgotten all about claw machines and spilled drinks and plans gone wrong; it was just her and Minji in the photobooth, everything else became muddled background noise.
A hand slid out of Minji’s hair and then down, tracing the slope of her neck, then her shoulder, before finally settling on her arm. Hanni stroked Minji’s arm, caressing it softly, the same way Dani had just minutes ago. The memory flashed into her mind before she could stop it, an unwanted intruder to the sanctuary she’d found in Minji’s kiss. Her touch grew stronger, possessive; she grasped onto her bicep with a nearly bruising force—an impulsive effort to erase any trace that anyone else existed in Minji’s world.
“Collect your photos now!” The photobooth sounded, startling them.
They broke out of the kiss, looking at the photobooth screen, then back at each other. Minji looked as if she’d just been electrocuted, hair sticking out, eyes wide. Hanni herself must’ve looked just as disheveled. They burst into a fit of laughter, tension dissolving, and climbed out of the booth to collect their photostrips.
Minji held a strip up to Hanni. The last photo was taken in the middle of their kiss, capturing the two of them in a heated embrace.
“Looks pretty romantic to me,” Minji said.
Hanni grabbed the picture and smiled at it. “Totally romantic.”
“Now, there’s like a hundred games in here I want to beat you at.” Minji gestured to the rest of the arcade.
“You winning against me? No chance.”
They arrived home that night with red cheeks and voices sore from shared laughter. They spent the rest of the time at the arcade with the other girls, playing games and buying each other silly gifts with their tickets. It wasn’t the date Hanni had planned, but she ended up having a pretty good time anyway. She still felt bad for how everything turned out, though, and she wanted a chance to apologize to Minji about it.
She walked with Minji as she headed to her bedroom, hoping to talk before she turned in for the night. Hanni could see Hyein standing at the other end of the hall, outside her own bedroom, and eyeing them with poorly-hidden interest. She was an ever-willing audience member to Hanni and Minji’s business. Realizing she’d need more privacy to talk openly, Hanni urged Minji inside her room, following behind and plopping down on her bed.
“Only our second date and you’re already trying to get me in bed? How scandalous of you, Pham,” Minji said as she sat down beside her.
“Ugh. Will you be quiet? I’m trying to apologize here.”
“Apologize? What for?”
“About that disaster date.”
“Hanni,” she placed a reassuring hand on Hanni’s knee. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”
“No, I do,” she insisted, setting her hand over Minji’s. “The date you planned for me was so nice and thoughtful, and I really wanted to give you something like that too. I’m sorry it turned out the way it did.”
“It’s okay. I still had a good time even though I’m pretty sure my shirt is permanently stained,” she joked.
“Oh my god,” she groaned and hid her face in her hands. “I’m so embarrassed about that.”
“You’re acting like I haven’t had my share of equally mortifying clumsy moments.”
Her consoling words didn’t make Hanni feel all that better. “Sure, but none of them happened on a date. Mine did.”
“Hey—” she hesitated. “If you’re really bummed about it, I wouldn’t mind a redo,” she suggested, looking around the room, obviously trying too hard to make it sound casual.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I think you deserve a fair shot. I mean, it still won’t beat the date I planned, but I bet you can get pretty close.”
“You’re so annoying,” she said, pushing Minji’s shoulder.
Minji fell back onto the bed with an over exaggerated-thump. “Ouch, Pham. You’re too rough.”
“You’re just too soft,” Hanni jabbed, following Minji down onto the bed, laying beside her, their shoulders pressed together. An idea popped in her head. “You know,” she turned onto her side, fully facing Minji. “There’s still one last part to a date,” she said with a playful lilt in her voice, mimicking Minji’s words from their first date.
“Oh yeah?” She tilted her head, a flash of excitement in her eyes.
“Mhm,” Hanni hummed and propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Minji.
It wasn’t often that Hanni got to see Minji from this angle—below her. She looked so willing, so eager, so ready to be kissed, but like an obedient puppy, she didn’t move; she just stared up at her, waiting patiently for a signal, ready to accept whatever Hanni wanted to give her.
Hanni laid a hand gently on Minji’s sternum, fingers toying with the collar of her shirt, feeling the quickening thrum of Minji’s heart beneath her palm. She leaned in at an excruciatingly slow pace, prolonging Minji’s wait, seeing if she would break. She watched with satisfaction as Minji’s eyes shut in anticipation. She ghosted her breath over Minji’s mouth and swore she could hear the faintest shudder escape her lips. She hovered there above Minji, so close she could practically taste the mint gum she had been chewing on the car ride home, then at the last moment before their lips were set to meet, she quickly leaned away, barely concealing a snort as she watched Minji’s eyes snap open at the sudden loss of warmth, disappointment, and confusion on her face.
“I’m sorry—” Hanni wheezed with laughter at Minji’s bewildered expression. “But I had to get you back after how you ended our last date.”
“What the heck, Pham?” She crossed her arms over her chest, an unamused scowl on her face. “That was like a thousand times worse than what I did! That was seriously so unfair.”
“Come on, when have I ever played fair?” She pinched Minji’s cheek, trying to stop her scowling.
Minji swatted her hand away and sat up, getting off the bed. “You’re so annoying. I’m going to bed.”
“Aw, don’t be a bad sport,” she said, following after her as she headed to the door. As Minji began to pass through the threshold, Hanni grabbed her wrist, stopping her from leaving. Minji turned, looking back over her shoulder. Standing up on her tiptoes, Hanni leaned forward and gave Minji a sweet, simple peck on the lips. “Goodnight.”
Minji’s face softened immediately, finally ditching her grumpy scowl. “Sleep tight, Pham.”
The next date Hanni set up went great, so great in fact, that Minji felt the need to try and reclaim her spot as the best date planner. And so began the start of their ‘date war.’ They’d become obsessed with the challenge of one-uping each other, finding increasingly elaborate ways to out-romance each other. If on one date Hanni showed up with a bouquet of 25 roses, Minji would come with 50 at the next. (Hanni had to dodge many scrutinizing comments from Hyein about the sudden increase in greenery around the dorm). The competition had gotten so serious that Hanni had resorted to bingeing romantic films in secret to find more ideas. She’d watched more Aubrey Hepburn flicks in the past few weeks than most people see in their whole life. She’d never admit it aloud—Minji would never let her hear the end of it—but she had even begun to enjoy watching them. Kisses in the rain, airport chases, slow dances, grand confessions—all the corny romantic clichés she used to despise now made her feel giddy. She was a changed woman.
That wasn’t the only thing that had changed about her. Ever since this ‘date war’ started, Hanni had felt lighter, carefree. The dates had become something for her to look forward to. When she was having a tough week, just knowing she would soon get a few hours of her best friend taking her out and pampering her gave her enough motivation to push through it all. The whole thing had really improved her relationship with Minji, too. They were inseparable; Hanni had never felt closer to her. Not only were they spending all their free time together, but they were physically closer, too. Goodbye kisses had become part of their date routine, each one lingering longer than the last. Hanni couldn’t lie and say she didn’t look forward to that part of their dates too. And though the kisses had never ventured outside of their dates, Hanni didn’t mind it all that much—it was well worth the wait.
“Woah, why does it look like a tornado flew through here?” Danielle peeked her head through Hanni’s bedroom door.
The room was a disaster, clothes scattered carelessly across the floor.
“I’m trying to pick an outfit,” Hanni said, not looking up. She and Minji had a coffee date planned for that afternoon, and she suddenly hated all the clothes in her closet.
“Where are you going? Maybe I can help,” Dani suggested, entering the room fully.
“That would be great, actually,” she said. She shimmied out of the skirt she had on, grabbing a pair of jeans. “Me and Minji are trying a new cafe.”
Danielle pulled a shirt from the pile on Hanni’s floor and held it up to her. “Why are you trying on so many outfits if you’re just hanging out with Minji?” She asked, sounding more accusatory than curious.
“I want to take some pictures while we’re there too,” Hanni lied—she just wanted to look nice for her date. She was too embarrassed to admit to Dani that she was going through all this fashion trouble just so Kim Minji would compliment her.
“You and Minji have been hanging out a lot lately,” she said, handing a sweater over. “I’m really glad you guys have been spending time together, especially after all that drama last month, but I feel like I never see you anymore. I miss you guys.”
Hanni’s heart twinged with guilt. She and Minji had been so caught up in their own little world lately that she didn’t notice she had been neglecting her other relationships. “Aw, Dani,” she frowned. “I miss you too. I’m sorry we haven’t been hanging out as much. How about you come with us to the cafe?”
Her face brightened immediately at the idea. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”
“You could never. I bet Minji will be very happy to hang out with you too,” Hanni said, realizing that she’d probably been hogging Minji from everyone else.
“Yay,” she grinned. “Now it’s your turn to help me find an outfit.”
Hanni laughed. “Alright.”
The cafe was a cozy spot with cute pastries and overpriced lattes, the kind people visit just to post on their Instagram story. Minji, Hanni, and Danielle sat around a small table, catching up on everything they’d missed the past couple of weeks.
“Dani, I saw the behind the scenes pics of your recent shoot. They look so good, I can’t wait to see the final product,” Minji said, stealing a bite of Hanni’s blueberry muffin.
“Thank you,” she replied, beaming. “I’m really excited for it to come out.”
“What was it like on set? I heard some funny things about the photographers.” Hanni asked, slapping Minji’s hand away from her plate.
Dani launched into a story about the photographer’s unconventional methods. Hanni listened intently, enjoying Danielle’s theatrical retelling of the events.
Beside her, Minji dug into the slice of cake she ordered, humming in pleasure at the taste.
“Hey, try a bite of this,” she said quietly, trying not to interrupt Danielle’s story, holding her fork up to Hanni’s mouth. She watched as Hanni chewed, waiting for her reaction. “You like it? Here, have more.” She held another bite in front of Hanni. “Oh, you’ve got a bit of frosting there,” she said, pointing to the edge of Hanni’s lips.
Hanni darted her tongue out, trying to get it. “Is it gone?”
Minji shook her head and smiled softly. “I’ll get it.” She wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb, then brought the finger up to her own mouth, sucking the frosting off.
Hanni smacked her shoulder. “Weirdo.”
“Ahem,” Danielle cleared her throat across the table, awkwardly calling their attention back to her. “So…” she sucked in through her teeth, clearly searching for something, anything to talk about. “Where’d you guys find out about this place?”
“I just looked up ‘coffee near me,’ and this place came up as highly recommended.”
“I didn’t know you liked coffee now, Hanni,” Danielle said, looking at her with a raised brow.
“Oh, I don’t. Yuck.” Hanni scrunched her nose in disgust. “Minji likes it, though.”
“Uh-huh.” Danielle leaned back in her seat, like she had just confirmed some sort of suspicion.
Minji pushed her seat back, standing from the table. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
The second she disappeared down the hallway to the bathroom, Danielle sat up straight, looking at Hanni, squinting with skepticism. “Hanni. Is there something going on here that I’m not aware of?”
Hanni furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”
Danielle slumped a bit at Hanni’s oblivion. “You and Minji.”
“What about me and Minji?”
“You two are so—” She waved her hands out, gesturing vaguely as if that would help Hanni fill in the blanks.
“We’re ‘so’ what?” Hanni laughed, confused.
Danielle shifted in her seat, propping her elbows up on the table and leaning close. “Is this how you guys act on all those secret one-on-one hangouts?”
“Act like what? Dani, what are you getting at?”
Danielle’s patience seemed to snap. She got even closer, practically leaning across the table. “You guys are all over each other!” She whisper-yelled. “If you got any closer, you’d be sitting on her lap, Hanni. And what was that just now with the cake? She was feeding you, Hanni. Feeding you!”
Hanni nearly scoffed at how over-the-top Dani was being. What was so odd about being close to her best friend? “I don’t get what the big deal is, Dani.”
“The big deal is I’ve never seen you like this before. Minji acting all clingy and affectionate, I get. But you?” She paused, face shifting into something sympathetic. “Hanni, be honest, are you like—into her?”
The question was so crazy that Hanni thought she had misheard her for a second.
“What? No! Don’t be ridiculous,” Hanni denied quickly, with a laugh. What Danielle was suggesting was absolutely preposterous. Still, Hanni was curious to hear what would even lead her to such a conclusion—it could probably be easily explained away. “Why would you even think that?”
“You tried on like a hundred different outfits just to get coffee with her.”
“So? I told you I wanted to take pictures later, too,” Hanni told the same lie again. Not that there was anything strange about wanting to look nice for a date with your platonic best friend! But Hanni figured Danielle wouldn’t understand.
“You’ve just been different lately, Hanni. Both of you…it’s like something’s shifted. Honestly, this whole afternoon you guys have been acting like a couple.”
Now that really made Hanni laugh. Accusing her of being into Minji was already crazy, but the idea that Minji wanted her back was simply inconceivable. “A couple? Ha! Me and Minji—a couple,” Hanni’s laughter rang out loudly. “That’s funny.”
Danielle didn’t share her amusement. She gave her a small, sad smile. “Is it really that funny, though?”
Hanni’s laughter stalled, an inexplicable urge to defend herself and her friendship with Minji rising. “It is. It’s insane, Dani. She’s my best friend—of course we’re close. You need to get any weird ideas out of your head because what you’re saying is crazy. It’s impossible.”
Danielle finally leaned back in her seat again, accepting Hanni’s plea. “Okay. I’ll leave it alone. I’m sorry.”
Hanni spent the rest of that afternoon trying very hard not to raise Dani’s suspicions again. She felt like she was being watched under a microscope, any of her actions at risk of being misinterpreted. She scooted her chair further from Minji’s and leaned away from her touch. She made sure not to laugh too hard at her jokes or look too long in her direction. She didn’t feel any better by the time she got home. There was no kiss goodbye that day; Hanni felt it’d be too risky, as if Danielle would somehow find out what was happening behind her closed door.
That night as she lay in bed, Hanni thought more about what Danielle had said. It was absurd. Unbelievable. Totally ridiculous. It had to be. Right? Hanni’s mind wandered. She thought about Minji on their first date, with her bouquet and her nervous smile. She thought about Minji calling her pretty under the aquarium lights, and how it made her feel—how she started chasing that feeling ever since. She thought about all the dates, and the hands held under tables, and the kisses that went on longer than necessary. Those were things couples did, weren’t they? But all of those things, they weren’t real, Hanni rationalized. We were just practicing, gaining experience, she told herself. Practicing for their future partners, who definitely wouldn’t be each other. It’s all just for the bucket list, she repeated in her head, like a mantra. Dani doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Danielle must be a witch. A telekinetic. Some sort of psychic. That’s the only thing that could explain what was happening to Hanni now. She must be under some powerful spell, and that’s why she was stuck in place, unable to tear her eyes away from Minji, thinking things she never would’ve thought if it weren’t for Danielle’s stupid accusation.
Minji stood next to the water cooler, fanning herself with her hand, a grimace on her face. Rehearsal was extra tough today. It was one of their ‘clean-up’ dance practices where they’d focus on the details, going over the same 8-count over and over until they could do it in their sleep.
Hanni braved her way toward the water, wondering if luck would be on her side and Minji would be too exhausted to talk. Luck was never on Hanni’s side.
“I think I’m gonna die,” Minji groaned as Hanni approached. Hanni didn’t say anything, focusing on getting herself water. “Hey, could you pour me one of those too?” She huffed through labored breaths.
Hanni grabbed another cup and filled it for her, trying her best to avoid eye contact as she brought it over. Unfortunately, that meant her gaze fell elsewhere—onto Minji’s body. The zip-up hoodie Minji had worn into practice that morning had long since been abandoned, leaving her in just a sports bra. Hanni had an unobstructed, up-close view of Minji’s toned body. Those gym sessions with Dani must be working, Hanni thought. Not that Hanni stared at Minji shirtless that often, but she certainly didn’t remember her looking like that. Her skin glistened with sweat, making her look even more defined. Hanni watched as a bead of sweat rolled down Minji’s abdomen, her gaze following along as it trailed all the way down her torso, disappearing into the waistband of her Calvin Klein boxers. Hanni gulped. When the hell did Kim Minji get so hot? Hanni knew Minji was attractive. That was a blatant, universal truth. The sky is blue, grass is green, Kim Minji is a goddess. But hot? Hanni had never seen her that way before. She’d laugh when Minji tried to act sexy and cool, biting her lip, winking for the cameras. All the thirsty fan-edits made her cringe. So why was she now reacting like one of those obsessed fangirls, ready to pass out just at the sight of Minji?
“Han?” Minji waved a hand in front of Hanni’s eyes, pulling her from her daze. “Are you gonna hand me my water?” She chuckled.
“Huh? Oh, right. Sorry.”
Hanni watched her drink it greedily, throat bobbing as she swallowed, water dripping down her chin. Hanni swallowed too. She suddenly felt very thirsty. Completely parched. She’d forgotten all about the water in her hand. She just stood there staring until the break was up, thirsty and too distracted to move.
“Alright! Let’s run it from the top!” Their instructor called.
The music blared through the room; someone yelled out a count; Hanni mindlessly moved along to the choreography. She was sluggish, turning just a little too late, not hitting her marks as sharp as she usually did. Her dancing was unfocused, sloppy. She watched herself in the mirror, frustrated by her poor performance, but unable to pull herself together. Then her eyes shifted. To Minji. Minji looked perfect. She was going all out, executing every detail flawlessly. Hanni felt like everything was moving in slow motion, the room around her spinning. She suddenly lost her balance, tripping over her own feet. Minji, who was standing next to her, acted quickly. She stepped forward and wrapped a secure arm around Hanni’s waist, catching her from falling.
“Woah, you okay?” She looked down at her with concern, brows tense.
Hanni couldn’t really hear her, though. The sound of her own pulse drowned everything else out. Hanni wanted to strangle her past self for deciding to wear a crop top that morning. Minji’s hand seared into the bare skin of her waist. Hanni felt short of breath, suffocated.
“I–I’m fine.” God, did I seriously just stutter because of Kim Minji? This can’t be happening. Hanni promptly removed herself from Minji’s arms. “Bathroom,” she choked out, briskly walking out of the room, not waiting for permission.
Hanni was going crazy. Everything was spinning out of control. It was truly insane that she was hiding in the bathroom, a nervous wreck all because of Minji. These feelings were new, unfamiliar, and so sudden, crashing into Hanni at full force without any warning. She didn’t know what to do with it all.
So maybe she was physically attracted to Minji. Hanni could accept that—albeit begrudgingly. But it’s not like she was in love with her or anything. She couldn’t be. Minji was her best friend. Always by her side. Safe. She didn’t want any of that to change. She refused it.
She felt sick. And angry. She was angry at Dani for putting these thoughts into her head. She was angry at Minji for making her feel so confused. Most of all, she was mad at herself for feeling this way, for letting Minji have power over her like this.
Hanni couldn’t have been in the bathroom for more than a minute before Minji came to check on her.
“Han, it’s me,” she called behind the bathroom door. She waited a beat for Hanni to answer, and when she didn’t, she pushed the door open, entering and locking the door behind her. “Hanni, why’d you run off like that? Are you alright–”
Hanni didn’t let her finish speaking. She didn’t want her concern, or her care, or her gentle hands. She wanted control. So she took it, the only way she could think of. She harshly pushed Minji up against the door and crashed her lips into hers, ignoring the surprised gasp that left her mouth. Despite her confusion, Minji adjusted fast, answering the kiss with the same enthusiasm that she always kissed Hanni with.
Out of habit, Minji’s hands came to rest on Hanni’s waist, holding her tight the way she knew Hanni liked it. It should’ve made Hanni feel good, but instead it just reminded Hanni how well Minji knew her, and for once, she didn’t bask in the attention. The last thing she wanted was to think about how good and sweet Minji was. When Minji’s mouth opened wide enough, she slipped her tongue in, aggressively trying to silence her thoughts.
This kiss was progressing much faster than their other kisses usually did. Hanni was rushing through the motions, not having the patience for suspense and buildup. She wouldn’t let Minji get away for even just a second, her relentless pace becoming even more demanding when she thought she felt her pulling back. One of her hands found its way to Minji’s stomach, lying flat against the same toned muscles that caused all of Hanni’s hysteria in the first place. She pressed against her hard, holding her in place, fingers digging into her skin, nails sharp and commanding. She was desperately grasping for the upper hand, clawing for any semblance of control and order she could get.
She could feel Minji trying to pacify her, trying to slow the kiss down, trying to soften the moment. The grip she had on Hanni’s waist loosened, fingers rubbing slow, soothing patterns against her skin. It almost worked for a second—Hanni shivered and leaned into the touch, but then her thoughts returned, ruining the moment. She’s doing this to you. Why are you letting her have such a hold on you? Hanni wouldn’t have it. She couldn’t. She got rougher; her movements turned frantic and cruel. In an act of retaliation, a fierce opposition to Minji’s care and caution, she caught one of Minji’s lips between her teeth, biting hard enough to ensure it would sting.
Minji tore away from this kiss with a pained gasp, holding her hand up to her lip. “H-hanni…what was that? Are you–is everything alright?” Minji stammered.
Hanni admired her work—Minji’s flushed face, her swollen and bruised lips, the faint scratch marks on her stomach. The weight on Hanni’s chest lifted; she could breathe once again, finally feeling herself calm down, her erratic thoughts quieting into a dull nothingness.
The Minji in front of her wasn’t the hot idol fans thirsted over; this Minji was a stuttering, flustered mess. Her loser best friend. Under her thumb. Just the way she’d always been. The way things were meant to be.
“I’m better now. Much better.”