Chapter Text
The hash buzz of their alarm clock startles Anastasia, who was already awake in a paralysed stare of anxiety. Marissa though, gradually stirs, slightly confused as to why an alarm is blaring as they both no longer have strict jobs demanding a wake up at horrendous hours, or so Anastasia would say.
"Good morning babe, already awake?"
She doesn't reply, she doesn't notice.
"Ana?" she says, sitting up and cuddling her.
"Morning.."
It would be no use asking if she's worried, anxious, or whatever synonym she would choose - it would be pointless at best and aggravating at worst.
"What do you want for breakfast, hm?"
"Not hungry. You know I won't be."
"I know. Normally, I wouldn't push it, you can eat when you feel better, but I don't want your bl- your test results to be screwed because you haven't ate."
"Yogurt and fruit."
"And to drink?"
"Orange juice."
"Do you want to eat it in here or the kitchen?"
"Kitchen. No use hiding in here.."
"Sounds like a plan. I'll see my beautiful girlfriend in the kitchen!"
Begrudgingly, Marissa leaves Anastasia to pull her courage together on her own, since forcing it out of her hasn't gone well previously. She begins swirling together fruits and jams and yogurt to create as aesthetic of a yogurt bowl as within her capablities. She walks in, her luscious golden hair flowing down her shoulders, a section swirling round her finger. She sits tentatively at the table. "Why are we doing this again?" she asks, feigning annoyance. "To make sure you're alright," Marissa says, offering Anastasia her bowl. She forces the smooth sandpaper down her throat, her juice evaporating on her tongue. Marissa consumes her own yogurt bowl, including a cruched oat bar garnish, finishing quickly and watching Anastasia sympathetically. Anastasia sets down her spoon defeatedly and looks to Marissa.
"That's fine. Do you want to show me the photos you took yesterday?" she suggests.
"I suppose I could.."
Marissa sighs internally, hoping this would have gotten her excited for a moment. Anastasia walks nervously to their bedroom, running her hands over her necklace reptitively. She brings back her camera and crashes next to Marissa on their sofa.
"Here's a..ladybird" she shows her.
"Pretty."
"And here's the sunlight shining nicely on the grass.."
She keeps sliding through the images.
"Here's a...ben-... I'm sorry I just can't...-"
B
She places her phone face down on the sofa and stares at their pastel rainbow swirling rug, her leg shaking. Marissa sets her arm around her back reassuringly.
"I can't do this..."
"You can."
"It's too much"
"You can do it, c'mon Ana, you have that fire of self belief in you.."
"It's just going to give me more trauma.."
Marissa sits, silenced. Anastasia could very well be correct. And that, was a heartbreaking thought.
"We don't know that.." Marissa joins her in staring anxiously at the floor.
"See, your tone shifted. You know it'll be true."
"Well...we still have to try.."
Snapping out of her anxiety, Marissa walks over to their black metal shoe rack, and tugs her boots on. She zips the sides up and looks back to Anastasia.
"Shoes on..?"
She nods quietly. She tries fastening on sandles but her hands quiver and miss the holes every time. Losing all her tolerance, she puts on her comfort heels, a pair of short golden wedges. She follows Marissa to the car without a word.
The journey is painful, the air a vacuum of fear finding any way inside their brain it can.
♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■☆At The Doctor's ☆■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡
"I can't..." Anastasia cries, gripping her hand on the door as if she's bracing.
"Yes you can...I'm with you. C'mon.."
Marissa walks round the back of the car and opens Anastasia's door.
"There's no rush to get out, go as slow as you need.."
"No, we have to rush before my brain spirals more..." she jumps out the car, standing, every muscle of her body tensed.
Marissa leads them to the entrance. She holds Anastasia's hand, talking no notice of the excess sweat being transferred to her hand.
"Babe..? I feel sick-"
"Okay- are you going to be sick right now?"
"I don't know..."
They approach the check-in register, Anastasia looking down at the floor, her usual confidence eluding her.
"Hello, can we please check in?" Marissa asks.
"What's the name?"
"Ana?" Marissa nudges her.
"Anastasia Sizova," she mumbles.
"Date of birth?"
"April 11 2000.."
"Aright you're all signed in, please take a seat in waiting room C."
They sit together, Anastasia clenching Marissa's hand with all her panic induced strength.
"Can I please have Anastasia Sizova?" a doctor calls.
Their palms sweaten as Marissa waits for Anastasia to move. Tuning into her fear, she lightly tugs her arm to have her stand. She leads her into the consultant room. Anastasia sits, back tense, eyes unfocused, as she waits for the trauma to hit.
"Hello, are you Anastasia Sizova?"
"Yes.."
"And is that what you like to go by?"
"Yes."
"And may I ask what brings you here?"
"Isn't it in the appointment notes?" she quietly snaps.
"I do have some notes but we like to hear exactly from the patient what's wrong."
The golden loops on her necklace shift into chains twisting round her neck. She looks to Marissa.
"Well, Ana- Anastasia has been feeling nauseous most days recently, and vomiting as well. She gets tired often but this is a new level of exhaustion for us. As well, she's been more emotional than usual," Marissa rubs Anastasia's hand, hoping she won't end up annoyed with her wordings.
"Anastasia? Do you agree? Or have anything to add?"
"No.. that's what's been going on.." she mumbles, looking down.
"Alright. I'll need to take you heart rate and blood pressure, is that okay?" the doctor asks, making eye contact and looking for approval.
"Alright.."
The doctor swivels in her chair, puts on blue disposable gloves and reaches to place the pulse oximeter on her finger.
"Oh- Now I'm really sorry to have to ask you to do this but seeing as you have acrylic nails on would you mind putting this on your toe, I can't get a reading though acrylic-" she asks awkwardly.
Anastasia's face flushes, "Erm, alright.."
The slightest smile twitches on Marissa's face. She helps Anastasia get her heels off.
"Thank you for your co-operation, I know it's awkward," she says, noting down the readings.
"Those all look normal. Now, I need to take your blood pressure, which will involve a tight cuff around your arm, okay?"
Anastasia nods, internally rolling her eyes at the explanation of how a blood pressure cuff work. Nonetheless, she smiles towards Marissa, appreciating the efforts she has gone to for her. As the cuff tightens, she projects all the tension through her body and into Marissa's, who bites on her lip to keep silent about how much her fingers are being crushed.
"Those all look normal," she says, swiftly removing the cuff, "Now, I have a few more questions to ask you. How long has this been going on for?"
"The past couple days," Anastasia mumbles.
"Have you had any viral infections recently?"
Anastasia and Marissa shake their heads.
"Any headaches or abdominal pain?"
"No."
"Would it be alright if I did a physical examination on your abdomen"
Anastasia looks to Marissa, her eyes screaming no and her arms crossed over her chest.
"What would that involve?" Marissa asks on behalf of Anastasia.
The doctor turns to face Anastasia directly, "I would place my hand against your abdomen and gently press down" she explains while demonstrating.
Doing it for Marissa, she reluctant stands up and lies on the thin blue paper towel covering the clinical bed. Seeing as she is wearing a crop top, she merely lies down and braces for the contact. The touches jolt tough her body but she shoves the distress down. The doctorr smiles and gestures for her to return to the black cushioned chsir beside Marissa.
"I didn't feel anything abnormal. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
"No..I would never be pregnant...never...my reproductive system is..its own hell.."
"So, can I confirm, do you have sex? If so, do you use any type of contraception?"
"Um.. well I do..with Marissa. But..I could never be pregnant..we've tried too long for that.."
Marissa begins beaming a smile.
"When you have sex, do you use contraception?"
"No...."
"Right, would you mind taking a pregnancy test today to confirm? I just want to have it ruled out," she asks sympathetically.
Anastasia nods, taking the sample cup from her.
"Just use the toilets next to the entrance"
She returns and hands over the sample, which the doctor labels and places in an envelope.
"Alright, we will test this for a few things that may be causing you issues, and you will get message containing the results in up to but no more than 5 working days. Does that sound okay?"
Marissa looks to Anastasia who is looking downwards, worn from the experience and eager to leave.
"What should we do it things get worse?" Marissa asks for Anastasia
"Simply call us back and we will schedule another follow up appointment and look at more testing," she says calmly.
"Thank you very much," she replies, smiling.
The doctor leads them out and Marissa takes Anastasia by the hand to their car. She smiles proudly at her.
"Did that go okay?"
"I suppose it did."
"That's a win."