Chapter Text
While me and my sister were sitting in the cab, I kept thinking about what I saw before: „Sweetie Belle, darling, what were you and Applejack talking about earlier?“
She kept looking out the car window and just replied „Nothing much, don't worry about it!“ with her squeaky voice, but it didn't really sound like the truth.
I just decided to leave it behind since I had an awful lot to think about: my dress, my makeup, my hairstyle... and, well, something else. Or rather, someone, even though I didn't want to.
The car ride was pretty short so when we arrived home I had the time to cook something for my sister, since she didn't have lunch at school. While boiling some water for the pasta I kept wonderng about what Sweetie and Applejack were discussing about... Maybe she noticed how I'm acting, even though it's oblivious. I honestly don't know and for what matters to me I don't WANT to know; I need to erase that girl and her country accent from my mind as soon as possible, because if I get attached she'll just leave me like my parents did. And I definitely don't need to see another person that I love get away from me.
But isn't this exactly what I'm doing to Applejack?
,,Rarityy? Is lunch ready??'' My little sister's voice snapped me back from my thoughts, luckily. ,,Yes Sweetie, sorry. Do you want your pasta with tomato sauce or something else?'' . She looked at me before asking: ,,Is everything okay Big Sis? Your head has been in the clouds a lot lately... Not to talk about your alcohol addiction..'' She muttered.
I really hoped I heard that wrong. ,,Excuse me, what?'' I asked looking directly at Sweetie Belle. ,,You heard me, Rarity. I'm tired of seeing you becoming just like dad.''
I couldn't believe it, Sweetie Belle was really comparing ME to someone like HIM?!
I was furious. „HOW DARE YOU? Are you really putting that man side by side with me?! Do you realise all of the horrible things he's done to our mother? Or to US, for that matter?!?“ She looked at me, not willing to lower her gaze. „Yes, I do. And don't you think you're doing exactly the same?“ She asked me.
I widened my eyes, but before I could speak she continued: „I've seen you drinking from those bottles, or taking those pills, or even heard you breaking down crying in your bedroom in the middle of the night?? And all of this for WHAT, Rarity?!“
My eyes began to sting with tears, she was fucking right. I had become just like the person I hated the most, and for the same reason after all; he didn't want to have a family in the first place, so eventually he got scared he'll get attached to it. That's when he got into alcoholism and left us.
I was doing exactly the same thing with Applejack... my loved Applejack, how could I do such a cruel thing to her..?
Before Sweetie Belle could say something else I climbed up the stairs and got into my room, where I started bawling uncontrollably. Something a good make up or a pretty dress wouldn't fix .