Chapter Text
Karai ---> Leo
Karai: so?
Karai: How did it go?
Leo: Honestly? Worse than I expected
Karai: Oh Joy
Leo: Look, it isn’t your fault
Karai: Sorry to disagree but when they all hate my guts, it’s hard not to take it personally
Leo: They don’t hate you
Leo: They just don’t trust you. Plus, I should’ve told them sooner
Leo: But it isn’t as if this is something that I could’ve brought up casually
Leo: ‘You know Karai? Our cousin, the livid bitch whose father is literally in jail for killing our dad
and putting me in a coma? Turns out, not our cousin! She’s our sister! My twin!’
Karai: wow you made me sound nicer than i am, thanks
Karai: also, don’t forget we’re fraternal twins
Leo: Yeah. That was the problem with this
Karai: Don’t beat yourself up for not telling people sooner, you couldn’t even be sure about
anything until we found those picture in your dad's storage unit
Leo: Our dad’s
Karai: hmmm. It’s gonna take me awhile to get used to that.
Leo: Well it looks like my brothers are going to take a while to get use to all of this too so no rush
Karai: its only been 3 hours
Leo: 3 hours of raph absolutely demolishing his room
Leo: 3 hours of donnie literally not saying anything
Leo: 3 hours of mikey
Leo: well, mikey is just being mikey
Leo: he april and casey have been watching naked and afraid
Karai: for 3 hours?
Leo: for 3 hours. Its an all night marathon
Karai: do you want to come hang out with Shinigami and i until this all blows over
Leo: no, i should wait it out
Karai: youre missing out on skinny dipping in a "supposedly" haunted pool on a full moon
Leo: surprisingly that doesnt change my decision, i dont wanna be third wheel on your weird date
Karai: suit yourself
Karai: see you at school tomorrow
Leo: see ya, dont get possessed or anything
Karai: no promises
Mikey: out of everyone in the groupchat, who would you bring with you if you had to spend 31 days alone in the wilderness with no clothes
Donnie: what kind of question is this
Mikey: an important one
Casey: april
Casey: april is scary
Casey: no bears would fuck with us once they see april
April: thank you
April: but id bring raph
Donnie: why?
April: muscle, he can like lift logs and stuff
Donnie: raph would see a lion and purposely start a fight with it and die
Raph: that's the dream
April: what kind of wilderness are we in that has both lions and bears
Mikey: AND TIGERS! OH MY!
Raph: you fucked it up the tigers go in between lions and bears you dumb shit
Mikey: okay well
Mikey: shut up
Casey: raph does not fuck around with his wizard of oz lore
Mikey: i read that as wizard of oz vore
Raph: thats the dream
April: this is a cursed string of messages
Donnie: i would bring casey so i could either use him as bait or eat him if needed
Casey: eat me out ;)
Raph: like eat in the cannibal way or in the vore way
Donnie: every notification i get from this chat puts me in intense physical pain
Mikey: id bring leo or april!
Raph: you cant bring leo
Mikey: :? Why not
Raph: hes a LIAR
Leo: are you fucking kidding me
Raph: look he responds to liar
Raph: makes u think
Leo: you can't stay mad at me forever
Raph: i can try
Casey: if it helps, im not mad at you leo
Raph: if you want to continue being my friend you absolutely are mad at leo
Mikey: i dont care about being raphs friend so can i admit that im not mad at leo
Donnie: really?
Mikey: i mean
Mikey: i dont see the point
Mikey: he apologized and told us everything so
Mikey: also, i need someone to talk about animorphs with
Leo: what book are you on?
Mikey: 18
Donnie: so you dont care that leo, someone who insists that all of us are honest with each other, kept a Huge secret?
Mikey: okay but he told us
Raph: i told you i broke your skateboard and you were still mad
Raph: i’m allowed to be mad
Mikey: you’ve broken my skateboard 23 times leos only revealed our cousin is our sister once
April: not exactly the same circumstances
Casey: I think you guys should be excited?! Like, you guys scored a sister whose a total badass
April: what am i, chopped liver?
Casey: A /new/ sister, chill red
Mikey: whatever, im sick of all of this fighting
Mikey: I’m gonna chill over at Leatherhead’s for the weekend
Leo: so you’re just gonna go without asking?
Raph: YOU’RE HIS BROTHER NOT HIS SENSEI ASSHOLE
Donnie: aaaand the caps lock is back
Mikey: >:| leo dont forget im on your side dude
Leo: i’m sorry, have fun at leatherheads
Raph: IM ALSO GONNA BE GONE FOR THE WEEKEND
Donnie: caps
Raph: im also gonna be gone for the weekend
Leo: and where are you going
Raph: HA. ACTING LIKE I’LL TELL THE TRUTH WHEN YOU DIDNT
Casey: he’s gonna be at my place
Raph: FUCK YOU JONES
April: um, weren’t you supposed to help me get stuff from my family’s farm house?
Casey: shit was that this weekend
Raph: I’ll help too it's no biggie
April: it’s gonna take all weekend, you sure?
Raph: it's chill
Casey → Donnie
Casey: ayo four eyes
Donnie: original
Donnie: what do you want
Casey: dont know if u saw in the gc but red, raph, and myself are heading upstate for the weekend
Donnie: okay
Donnie: and?
Casey: aaaaand i know your lameass isnt doing shit
Casey: so come with us
Donnie: no
Casey: C’MON itll be fun dude, would you rather stay cooped in your room all weekend?
Donnie: if it means I don’t have to be stuck with you for an extended amount of time
Donnie: then yes
Donnie: absolutely
Donnie: sign me up for my typical isolation
Casey: smartass
Donnie: like it wasn’t obvious?
Casey → April
Casey: okie dokie then
Casey: my attempts to court our dear donatello failed
Casey: why are we inviting him again
April: ugh do i have to do everything
April → Donnie
April: yo D
April: will you come to the farmhouse this weekend?
April: for me?
Donnie: uh? I mean
Donnie: yeah sure
Donnie: if you really want me there
April: of course!
April → Donnie
April: (sent a screenshot))
April: it wasn’t that hard
Casey: I HATE HIM
Donnie --> Leo
Donnie: im going to the farmhouse too
Leo: okay
Donnie: okay
Donnie: see you soon
Leo: stay safe
Leo --> Karai
Leo: aaaaaand my entire family has left for the weekend
Karai: LMAO
Karai: i mean, ouch, sorry, wow thats too bad
Leo: shut up
Casey: MICHAEL
Casey: DID YOU TAKE THE LAST HOT POCKET OUT OF THE BACK OF MY TRUCK
Casey: hi mikey its april, i took caseys phone because he cant text and drive
Casey: casey is very loudly insisting that you took the hot pockets he keeps in his trunk
Leo: why does casey keep hot pockets in his trunk
Donnie: i have no idea but, apparently they were our only snacks for the drive
Donnie: i asked him if he had snacks because i was at the store and would get some
Donnie: he said yes
Donnie: he said dont worry about it
Donnie: he sent multiple fire emojis
Donnie: then we are 40 minutes on the road
Donnie: i ask for the snacks
Donnie: and he says
Donnie: grab. The hot pockets. From the trunk
Donnie: why he keeps a frozen product in his car i have no idea
Donnie: but i look, and sure enough there is a hot pocket brand box
Donnie: but in it were no hot pockets
Donnie: there was an empty hot pocket wrapper
Donnie: and weed
Raph: the most thrilling monologue ive ever read and i was there
Raph: casey says mikey was the only one who knew his hot pockets were there i guess
Mikey: okay, now that youve so rudely taken me from my date
Mikey: i'll come clean
Mikey: i took SOME of caseys weed but he told me i could i guess he just doesnt remember
Casey: I DONT CARE ABOUT THE WEED I CARE ABOUT MY HOT POCKETS
Casey: sorry, april here again, casey snatched the phone so now i have crawled to the back seat
Casey: he is insisting "i told him specifically to not take my hot pockets"
Raph: execpt it was more like "I FUCKING TOLD THAT LITTLE SHIT TO NOT TAKE ANY HOT POCKETS WHEN HE WAS GRABBING THE GOD DAMN WEED"
Mikey: i was HUNGRY
Leo: so. You ate the hot pocket cold?
Mikey: well duh
Donnie: NO NOT "WELL DUH"
Mikey: hot pockets are good cold
April: okay i switched to my phone
April: casey is agreeing with mikey passionately and ive never been more disturbed
Leo: hot. pocket
Leo: hot is in the NAME
Mikey: have you ever eaten a hot pocket hot and actually enjoyed it :/
Raph: YES? FREQUENTLY ACTUALLY
Mikey: nah dude its always like too hot and burns your tongue
Donnie: okay then you wait for it to cool down
Mikey: you dont have to wait for it to cool down if you never heat it up
April: casey is still upset that mikey took the last hot pocket but is slightly okay because mikey is "reppin the cold pocket"
April: i think im more upset that casey expected us to eat said cold pockets and only cold pockets on this three hour drive
Leo: ive learned a lot from this conversation
Leo: ive learned my little brother hot boxes that truck with a delinquent we consider our friend
Leo: and the two eat cold hot pockets while doing so
Mikey: usually raph is there
Leo: ive learned that usually raph is there
Raph: TO BE CLEAR ive never been around for the hot pocket shit
Mikey: cold pocket
Raph: shut the fuck up
Leo: if theyre always in caseys trunk arent they like? Luke warm pockets
Leo: slightly sweaty pockets
Donnie: do you think they grow mold...
Donnie: nevermind im going to make myself sick
Donnie: we need to pull over for food
April: im right next to you you dont have to say that in the group chat
Donnie: shit okay yeah
Donnie: welcome to the group chat, now titled "list of things casey has done in the past 24 hours to piss me off"
Donnie: for the records
Raph: chill out don
Raph: he got one of your books a little wet big deal
Donnie: HE DROPPED IT DOWN THE WELL
Casey: maybe dont leave your books by my well
April: its my well, actually
April: your all supposed to be sleeping we just said goodnight 10 minutes ago
Leo: its 5am?
Donnie: its been a long night
Raph: why are you up leo?
Leo: i just woke up, you know, like a normal person
Raph: on a saturday?
Leo: i have work
Raph: real work or karai work
Leo: right now, real work
April: and all of you guys with me are going to have real work later today so I SUGGEST YOU GET SOME SLEEP
Mikey: so have you guys ever noticed that the layer makes like
Mikey: so
Mikey: much
Mikey: noise
Mikey: like, so many unnecessary creaks and shit
Mikeys: things moving when they aren't supposed to
Mikeys: do you think our place is like. Haunted
Donnie: what horror movie did you watch this time
April: didn’t you watch the babadook and not sleep for 3 days
Mikey: I DIDNT WATCH A MOVIE
Mikey: i played a video game
Raph: thought leatherhead didn’t like scary stuff
Mikey: nah i came home earlier today, leatherhead had some stuff to catch up on for school
Mikey: leo and i played outlast
Leo: okay, let’s get some things straight
Leo: I did not let mikey play outlast, he would not leave
Raph: why were YOU playing outlast
Donnie: do we even own that game
Mikey: Karai brought it over!
April: oh?
Mikey: yeah shes like, super fucking good
Mikey: doesn’t even flinch
Mikey: I am both petrified and impressed
Raph: wow you know who else likes horror games?
Raph: murderers
April: i like horror games?
Raph: well maybe theres something you haven't told us
Leo: will you knock it off with the ‘karai is evil’ shit
Leo: she isn’t trying to kill any of us
Donnie: but she could
Leo: oh of course she could
Leo: but so could we? It's just a trend that happens when your dads are batshit about ninjitsu
Mikey: and i mean, she had TWO batshit ninja dads
April: does sensei count as her dad? Like, i get he is biologically, but she never even met him?
Donnie: well i suppose he’s still her father
Raph: what the fuck is the difference between dad and father
Donnie: formalities?
Casey: and whats the difference between those and daddy ;)
Casey: hint: me
Casey: me = casey jones
Donnie: help iv’e summoned the devil
Mikey: i was wondering where you were casey lmao
Casey: i’ve been driving and apparently April has deemed herself owner of my phone whenever i’m behind the wheel
Casey: but she and Raph are out in the restroom so you all get a refreshment of CASEY JONES
Donnie: they left me alone with him they must want me dead
Leo: are you guys on the way home?
Donnie: we’re about an hour away yeah, we should make it home by 6
Mikey: hey……. Hey…….
Mikey: i need a favor……..
Mikey: if you could……
Casey: already made plans to bring some pizza home, gotcha covered
Mikey: casey jones, daddy, mind reader, vigilante
Raph: if anyone calls casey daddy again im never coming home
Casey: SHUT UP AND GO PEE TWUNK
Raph: i will key your truck
Leo: I guess we’’ll see you guys when you get home
Leo: but they put the animorphs tv series back on netflix so mikey and I will be Busy
Leo: don’t expect access to the tv for the next 7 hours
Mikey: or week
Mikey: who needs school
April: casey or don can u check if i left my wallet in the truck? I don’t remember if i brought it out with me
April: hellloooooooooo
April: i dont wanna leave the rest stop if my wallets here can someone answer
Leo: you shouldn’t have left them alone I think they killed each other
Raph: like how karai is going to kill us
Leo: GIVE
Leo: IT
Leo: UP
Raph: at this point it's out of spite
Mikey: everything you do is out of spite
Leo: you know what
Leo: i know how to fix this
Raph: okaaaay??
Raph: and leo disappears
Raph: three challengers remain
April: i’m gonna head back over to the truck since the morons aren't answering, meet me by the vending machine
Raph: gotcha
Donnie: YOUR WALLET IS IN HERE APRIL
Donnie: hahaha sorry caps lock i forgot i didnt mean to yell that oops
April: what took so long >:/
Donnie: we were looking!
Casey: yeah, we were looking really hard
Casey: really hard
Mikey: okay?
Donnie: we’re on the way home
LEO ADDED ‘KARAI’ TO THE GROUPCHAT
Raph: WAIT
Raph: EXCUSE ME
Raph: WHAT THE FUCK
Karai: nice to hear from you too, asshole
Mikey: awwwww shit