Chapter Text
“What do you mean it's two of me???”
Why is there some new shit going on every fucking 2 meters? Why can't anything just be fucking predictable and linear? Literally, if there is one hour without some fucked-up thing happening, you are going to be the most surprised person in the world.
Rick sighed, annoyed by your “ignorance”. Can this man just be respectful for one second?? It is surprising that he even has grandchildren. Who in their right mind would have sex with him?
“What, are you annoyed, old man? I'm also annoyed! Could you just fucking get it over with and tell me what is wrong?”
He rolled his eyes on purpose so everyone could see it.
“Two signatures doesn't necessarily mean – burp– two people, sweety. Could be residual dimensional contamination.”
“And what the hell does that mean?” You were getting increasingly agitated.
“It means that our memories do not match because of environmental neurological distortion. What, do I need to explain everything to you all, like you are fucking babies?”
He looked at all of your faces. Everyone was waiting patiently.
“Yeah, so I – burp– figured. The environment is producing non-normal hallucinogenic toxins - they are neurotoxins. It's not like taking molly, yes, I'm looking at you, Sum-Sum, it's like injecting 40 ounces of Botox into your brain. It means that it distorts memory and cognitive functions. Not only visual hallucinations, but touch, smells…”
“So if your explanation is correct… Why does your device read something strange?” His theory did not make enough sense to you.
“Okay, I now feel like we're in a kindergarten. You know what we call dimensions is basically a simplified way of describing different versions of reality, right? We all know that—burp—right? Right.”
He looked around. Nobody answered.
“Jesus Christ. Okay. We see everything around us in three dimensions. Time is another coordinate. You can't exactly see it, but you can experience it. There are other dimensions we can't perceive, either because they're irrelevant to us or because our stupid little brains aren't equipped for it.”
He pointed at your body.
“Now imagine something from one of those dimensions gets stuck to you. Skin, clothes, whatever. It still exists on a higher-dimensional level even if we can't see it.”
He tapped the detector.
“The machine can.”
“So… you're saying something from this place is stuck to me?”
“Exactly.”
IF RICK CUT YOUR HAND OFF:
“Then why does it detect the environment separately?”
“Because the environment is fucking full of it.”
Rick was visibly running out of patience.
“Then why didn't it detect anything on my hook?”
“Because your hook is artificial. Whatever's producing the signature is probably interacting with organic tissue.”
“So what you are saying is that the memory distortion thing is a completely different thing, and we are experiencing it because of the neurotoxins?”
“Completely.”
He nodded.
You fell silent.
“Fuck, finally, no more questions.”
“Grandpa, then why am I still standing here alive? You think I did not hear you whispering around with Morty. I fucking died. And you saw my body.”
Rick turned to Summer, frowning.
He fell silent for a second.
“Okay, let's stop with all of your stupid questions and continue moving. Remind me to use mindblowers on you later.”
IF RICK DID NOT CUT YOUR HAND OFF:
“Then why does it detect the environment separately?”
“Because the environment is fucking full of it.”
Rick was visibly running out of patience.
“Then why didn't it detect anything on my hand?”
“Sweetie, your hand is basically the environment now. Look at it.”
“So what you are saying is that the memory distortion thing is a completely different thing, and we are experiencing it because of the neurotoxins?”
“Completely.”
He nodded.
“Then why do Summer and I have completely identical knives? You can all see it, can't you? And we all know it's real. What about that?”
He fell silent for a second, frowning.
“Okay, let's stop with all of your stupid questions and continue moving. Remind me to use mindblowers on you later.”
The closer you were to the centre of the anomaly, the more the cave breathed with life. Before, you mostly encountered gigantic mushrooms and moss, sometimes tall grass. Now there were some different, familiar animal species appearing. Mostly geckos and lizards. You knew from your basic school education that those species loved warmth and the sun. In the wild, they liked to get all cosy and warm under it. The closer you were to the destination, the warmer it became.
After some time, the flora became even more beautiful, with pink flowers that looked like orchids popping out from the moss and some weird blue lianas glowing with light. Soon you understood that the lianas were not only glowing but also radiating heat. The geckos and different kinds of lizards were fighting for the spot under them, violently biting each other to death.
Rick also took a visible interest in the surroundings. Which was weird. You did not take him for a man with an interest in botany.
“That is, kiddos, what they don't teach- teach you at school about.” He was hovering over some sort of fern. “This thing is –burp– is exactly what we came here for! Who wants to go fucked up with grandpa?!”
No one else was enthusiastic about this idea.
“Alright, party poopers. You're no fun.” Rick was visibly disappointed.
He continued walking, still looking around, probably not only because of his interest in botany. You tried to keep up the pace with him as Summer and Morty were falling behind, discussing something.
“Oh”—he stopped abruptly—“However, this one… this might be really help- helpful in our situation.” Rick pulled a small purple mushroom out of the ground.
He turned it between his fingers, examining it with unusual interest.
It looked almost like a normal Amanita. It had a flat cap decorated with white spots. The colour, though… the only thing that distinguished it from normal fungi.
“This baby… it is what those insect junkies at the Galactic Federation love to use… It helps them see things that are hidden from normal per- perception. Also, sometimes they get sharpened reflexes and widened vision.”
Wow, Rick really loved explaining things about drugs. You remembered your latest conversation with him, and he was honestly mostly annoyed by the role of teacher he was playing. You were selling weed on the side, but you never went into the mechanics of it. Oh God, it felt like it was in another life.
“So why would it be useful to us?” You decided to go with the flow of the conversation.
“Well, sunshine. It could help us investigate this place better. We know where we are going within a precise one-mile radius.”
He rolled the mushroom in his hands.
“If somebody were to use one of those, we could find what we need –burp– much muuuuch easier. However, it can affect decision-making if used by mammals. So it is of no use to me.”
Well… It COULD probably be useful to us. Can't wait to get out of this place. I should probably learn more.
“Is it dangerous?”
“What, sweety, having scientific interest?” He smiled. “Answering your question—no, it isn't. It has a normal high p- period that passes in a few hours. Pretty strong one though. Shit, those Galactic Federation cowards would pay a fortune for it…”
He licked his lips.
You looked at the mushroom again. If it could really help you find the centre, maybe it was worth the risk.
“What, want to try one? I must warn you it will be difficult to decide clearly, but the –burp– the effects would be a high advantage for us. So. What are we thinking?”
CHOICE:
A: Take it.
B: Refuse.
A:
Ah, fuck it, we ball.
“MMM.. Okay. Fine. But only if you promise you will look after me!”
“Sure thing, sunshine.” He smiled with all his teeth.
Fuck, he doesn't even smile like that when talking to his grandkids.
You swallowed. Suddenly, you weren't sure whether you were more nervous about the mushroom or about trusting his smile.
JUMP TO CHAPTER X. (currently under work)
B:
Jesus Christ. No fucking way.
“Nope. Thank you. I will kindly refuse.”
“You're no fun, you know that, right?”
Rick shrugged and put the mushroom back into his bag.
You kept walking.
JUMP TO CHAPTER Y. (currently under work)