Chapter Text
Everyone knew Wile E. Coyote was a genius, it was true. The case vs ACME had really shown the world that he was smart, cunning, and also brave. However, a new fact had made itself known. The longer he was around him, the more Bugs knew:
This guy was an idiot.
He’d never say it to his face, he’d take great offense, but he was clearly blind and stupid. Bugs stood on the side of the road with a thumb raised, glancing around a bit. Coyote was a genius intellectually and is maybe the only person on this planet who could actually catch the Road Runner. So Bugs wasn’t stupid enough to try and catch him right now, no way. But he knew he had to talk with him, so here he was.
Bugs knew a lot about these two and lucky for him, he knew the Road Runner would stop by to see him. Just in case he was a part of Coyote’s trap, he bets. Or maybe he would stop to make sure Bugs was actually leaving them alone. Lucky for him, he was.
Bugs didn’t startle at the sudden whip around him, staring at the dust clouds as they slowly settled. He took a bite of a carrot as he stared in front of him, seeing the Road Runner standing there with a frown on his face. “Nice to see you again, stranger.” Bugs offered with a smile, knowing he had to get to the point quickly before the bird decided to leave. “Look, mind if we chat for a moment?” He watched as he seemed to furrow his eyebrows, narrowing his eyes on the rabbit. He clearly didn’t want to speak with him, so Bugs just kept talking anyway.
“You and I both know Wile E. is a genius, yeah?” He offered with a hand wave. “But I think he’s a bit daff when it comes to your guys' relationship.” The bird seemed to stiffen a bit, his frown still present as he tilted his head a bit curiously. “He’s always been like that, hasn’t he?”
Bugs was a bit surprised when the bird darted closer to him, staring down at him with his looming eyes. Right, maybe he shouldn’t mention any details that connect himself to that Coyote. As far as the bird knew, the two had history and he clearly loathed that. “Look, I really did think he spoke with you. Only when you two were alone, of course. I tried telling him that talking to you would be a good idea, but he seemed hesitant.” Bugs wondered for a moment, trying to pin down exactly what his deal was. Why was Wile E. so hesitant on speaking to his bird?
“I think you’re too special, so he keeps it at a higher bar for entrance, you know?” He offered and the Road Runner paused, taking a step back to consider it. Finally, Bugs smiled a bit as a sign was pulled out.
[ I WANT HIM TO TALK TO ME. ]
“Oh, I bet you do.” Bugs teased, laughing a bit. “I can’t say I know what goes on in that guy's mind, but I have a running theory. Care to know?” A simple proposition was made and he watched as Roadie struggled internally, clearly not wanting to take Bug’s advice or hear a word he had to say. Honestly, Bugs always loved when someone didn’t like him. His ever growing list was always joyous.
He smiled as the bird waved the same sign, as if to signal that he wanted to know. Bugs had to break his own rule and talk about himself with Wile E. now, oh no. Who could've seen this coming? “Well, back in the day.. Coyote mostly spoke to me when he caught me. Obviously, I just escaped in the end and I’m sure you’re more than capable of doing that too. So, why not give it a try? Why not let him catch you?” Road Runner seemed to take in the words, lowering his head slightly as he thought.
[ HE WILL TALK THEN? ] His sign raised up and Bugs shrugged a bit.
“Maybe not, but I think it might help. Especially if you play the role, maybe getting caught sometimes will be fun. I know it is for me.” Bugs smiled as he crossed his arms over his chest, pointing a carrot at the bird. “Wouldn’t it be fun to shake these up, you two love birds? I mean, doing the same gimmick for seventy something years..” Bugs batted his eyes at him and Road Runner made a bit of an annoyed squeak, looking away from him.
Bugs doesn’t know if he had ever seen the bird blush, yet his face now seemed a bit red. How cute. “I thought you two were already, you know..” Bugs made a bit of a crude hand gesture, grinning as the bird squawked at him again. “But I guess not. Why not? No wait, I know. Because Wile E. is stupid.” He watched as he pulled out a sign, one that made Bugs very pleased.
[ YET YOU FLIRTED WITH HIM ANYWAY??? ]
He seemed more focused on the fact Bugs thought they were a thing already and less so about why the two of them weren’t. Bugs shrugged his shoulders as he raised his hands up innocently, smirking at him. “Eh, what can I say.. I love to talk.” He teased and the Road Runner frowned, puffing out his feathers as he jumped up a bit. Bugs closed his eyes a bit as a loud ‘beep beep’ was shouted in his face, taking a moment to open his eyes. Of course, the Road Runner was gone by the time he opened them.
Bugs smiled as he shook his head, deciding it was time for him to go. “Ah, young love..” He hummed as he began to walk off, knowing he’d have to visit again in the future. And if Wile E. still hasn’t smartened up by then? Maybe he’d have to knock some sense into him. You know, for poor Roadie’s sake and all.