Chapter Text
By the time Katara reached the dining room that night, she was almost giddy with excitement.
She had spent most of the journey on the sea eating food prepared aboard the ship, and while the cooks were amazing and had done their best to make it feel familiar and tasty, there was only so much they could do with stored ingredients. Now, for the first time in her life, she was about to eat an actual Fire Nation meal.
She had some idea of what to expect from the books she studied and from conversations she had with Zuko, but having explanations of what a flavor was like was not like actually tasting it.
After Zuko delivered her to her private chambers in the guest wing of the palace, Katara had been introduced to her new handmaid, Izah, a woman in her thirties who was very polite. After Izah had shown her around her new room, Katara dismissed her and rested for a few hours before getting ready.
The time alone was enough for her to write a new letter for her brother, in the name of Yue, of course, and to nap a little. She napped until Izah returned to run her a hot bath and to get her dressed. She was now wearing a beautiful indigo dress with long flowy sleeves and a silver moon sewn onto the chest with white beads. Katara recognized the style as that of the Northern Water Tribe. She was yet to dress in red clothes, and although she kind of wanted to, it would probably send the wrong message to the world. So, blues were the correct, safe choices.
Two guards accompanied her from her bedroom to the dining room when the time came, and soon the corridors of the guest wing opened up to the main half of the palace, where the dining room was.
When the doors were opened, Katara found Zuko and Fire Lord Iroh sitting at the table. They both looked up at the sound of her arrival, and Zuko’s eyes softened at the sight of her.
The table they were sitting at was long, made of dark wood, and there were more dishes than she could count on it. Katara could see a large bowl of steaming noodles sitting in the center, surrounded by plates of roasted vegetables, spiced meat, dumplings, fish, rice, and several things Katara couldn’t identify at all. There were small dishes of sauces and condiments scattered between the two men, each one exhaling a completely different smell that hit her all at once when she walked in.
“There she is,” Iroh said warmly, immediately rising from his seat, along with Zuko. “Come in, Princess Yue. We were beginning to wonder if Zuko should get dressed up as a guard again and escort you from your room.”
“No, we were not,” Zuko protested, blushing. “I wouldn’t ever do that again.”
Iroh laughed aloud, and Katara immediately relaxed. She had been nervous about what kind of event this dinner would be. Fancy and formal, befitting of everyone’s titles? Or informal, like eating with family? It was now clear that it would go like the latter. In front of her was not the great Fire Lord Iroh, but Zuko’s dear uncle. It was a huge relief.
Katara smiled widely and chose a seat in front of Zuko, on Iroh’s left side. When she was finally sitting, the old man sat back in his chair too.
“Really? Liaozo told me that by the end you were actually enjoying yourself.” Iroh commented, smiling at his nephew. “I’m pretty sure that if you ask any guard, they’ll switch places with you.”
Katara couldn’t help but laugh. “Did he tell you about his time as a guard on the ship, Fire Lord Iroh?”
“He did, yes.” Iroh smiled at her. “But he didn’t get into the details. Do you have a story to tell? I’m dying to tell my friends when I see them.”
Katara looked at Zuko, and he was shaking his head negatively, begging her not to tell his uncle anything. Katara smiled mischievously and nodded.
“Yes, I do. There was this morning when he was sparring with some guards and I had woken up early. I didn’t tell him then, but I woke up to see him, so I got dressed and went to the deck to watch him firebending. He was there, sparring with the others, and was not wearing the usual armor and helmet he would wear around me. When he won his match, I was completely sure I’d finally catch a glimpse of his face, but he legitimately ran away to put the helmet back on because he heard me arrive! Unfortunately for him, he also forgot to put on a shirt. So, for the duration of our whole conversation, he was half naked while wearing only his pants and helmet.”
Iroh’s booming laugh took over the whole room and made both Zuko and Katara laugh with him.
“I was so embarrassed!” Zuko said, hiding his face with a hand, cheeks as red as his clothes. “I realized my mistake too late, and then you were already there. I didn’t know you did it on purpose.”
“I wanted to see your face, but you seemed bent on not allowing me a single glimpse! I thought you were a very weird person, but by then we were friends already, so I couldn’t ditch you anymore,” she laughed. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when you showed up with no shoes and no shirt, just helmet and pants. I was certain that you had a loose knot in your head somewhere.”
Zuko laughed with his uncle, clear joy in his eyes. “Yet, you were blushing.”
Katara immediately stopped laughing.
He remembered that? Holy shit.
Her sudden silence made both Zuko and Fire Lord Iroh slowly turn to look at her, surprised at the reaction. Katara felt her cheeks warming up, and under the rapt attention of two pairs of golden eyes, her entire face turned as red as their clothes. The Fire Lord lifted an eyebrow, interested in what she had to say, but Zuko’s expression was one of pure surprise.
“Oh!” He let out. “I am just playing with you, Princess. I know you were embarrassed over my lack of manners back then.”
Katara tried to smile, failing miserably. “Of course! Well, I am delighted to be here, Fire Lord Iroh! Thank you for your kind invitation, I am looking forward to enjoying Fire Nation food tonight.”
If it was obvious she was giving her best shot at changing the subject, at least no one commented on it. The old man smiled brightly at her.
“It is a pleasure to receive you in the Fire Nation, Princess Yue. You can call me Uncle Iroh, if you’d like.” He offered.
Katara’s eyes widened. Zuko had told her he’d do that, but she wasn’t expecting it to be so early. Or to have the offer come at all. Did Zuko tell him of their resolve to break the betrothal? If he didn’t, would he take it back?
Still, she smiled. “Thank you, Uncle Iroh.”
At least no one was talking about her blushing at the sight of Zuko’s naked chest anymore. She could remember it like it was yesterday, too. The sweat rolling in droplets down his skin and her urge to bend it away, his muscles hard and glistening under the sun, his breath and grunts while he sparred… oh, Spirits.
Sometimes she wanted to eat him.
“We may eat now,” Iroh said. “Zuko, please serve our guest.”
Katara was caught by surprise when the Prince stood up from his seat and took her plate to fill it with food. He even stopped to think a bit before each dish, like he was deciding whether she would like the food or not.
Katara was in shock.
To put it bluntly, she had never seen a man serving food to a woman. Ever. Alright, maybe once or twice, to be honest, but it had been her father serving his mother Kanna or his wife Kya when they were sick. A man just getting up from the table and serving a woman? Never.
In the Northern Water Tribe, it was expected that women always served the men, and in the South, people just served themselves, but she had never been served. And by a Prince? Wow. Was it a Fire Nation custom?
“Thank you,” she said when he offered her the plate.
“Let me know if you want more. I tried to pick what I think you’ll like. I know you can’t stand spice.”
Katara stared at it for a moment. It was filled with food that smelled and looked amazing, with more colors than she had ever seen. She couldn’t believe he remembered her distaste for spicy food. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“Thank you,” she said again, quieter this time. Zuko nodded before turning to fill his own plate.
Katara tried the fish first, out of pure habit.
It was delicious.
The white meat was seasoned with something she couldn’t name and tasted differently from the fish she ate in the Poles, but it was amazing. It was juicy and buttery, and the meat was very sweet and soft, unlike anything from the Tribes.
“This is really good,” she commented.
Zuko glanced at her plate and smiled. “I thought you’d like it. The Fire Nation has a very strong fishing market. Some of the species of fish that grow around here are only found here.”
Iroh, who had been watching the exchange with an amused expression as he ate a dumpling, turned to her with a smile.
“So, Princess Yue,” he said, “tell me about yourself. I’ve heard plenty about your family and Tribe, but I know very little about you.”
Oh, so this was the ‘fatherly interrogation’ Zuko had told her about. The question immediately put her in a delicate position, almost souring the taste of the fish on her tongue. She had been expecting questions about the Northern Water Tribe, or Yue’s family, or even about the betrothal, but not about who she was.
How much could she tell? She could describe Yue and what her friend liked to do and what she didn’t, but talking about how Yue loved to read quietly in her room would not work with who Katara was and how she was acting in front of them. Katara loved to stroll around the city, but Yue only walked around if she had a reason to. They were best friends, but they were very different people.
Maybe she could focus on the parts where they both matched?
“What would you like to know, Uncle?”
“Anything,” Iroh shrugged. “What do you do when you’re not attending ceremonies or meeting people with your father, Chief Arnook?”
“Well…” She thought about it, about the days spent with Yue. “I spend a lot of time with the healers. I’ve always been interested in healing, so I help whenever I can. There are always people who need it.”
Iroh nodded. “Healing is very important work. I’ve heard that only women waterbenders are allowed to learn the healing arts in the North Pole.”
Katara clicked her tongue.
“Unfortunately, yes.” She nodded. “In the North, the women are only allowed to learn healing, and men only allowed to learn how to fight. It greatly upsets me. I have a… friend… she is from the Southern Water Tribe and is an excellent waterbender. In the South Pole, they do not have such retrograde beliefs about what women can or can’t do, and she is very outspoken for the women of the North to learn how to fight with their waterbending too. Together, we have built a small school for her to teach some girls the fighting arts.”
“Your friend Katara?” Zuko asked, sounding interested.
“Yes, Katara.” She agreed with a faint smile. “She is the daughter of the Southern Water Tribe’s Chief.”
“Oh, I think I know your friend,” Iroh said, eating another dumpling. He turned to Zuko, “wasn’t she in the shortlist of possible suitors? She had quite a resumé.”
Katara froze.
What?
“Yes, she was one of the waterbenders I decided not to pursue due to… previous circumstances.” Zuko explained, dejectedly glancing at Katara. “The Fire Sages wrote a long profile of her, with her diligent work in both Tribes. She sounds like a very great woman.”
Katara felt like screaming.
She was… damn, she couldn’t even process that thought. She was one of the possible suitors for Zuko? Why the fuck didn’t he tell her that when they spoke about it earlier?
“Well, you might keep her in the next list, then.” Iroh suggested. “A woman that does such selfless work in a Tribe that is not even her own is certainly worth knowing.”
Katara had to grip the chopsticks with all of her strength to not drop them out of sheer shock. She nervously picked around her plate, taking a piece of rice with what looked like mango on it, and stuffed her mouth with it, desperately trying not to scream.
It was fucking delicious too. Fuck the Fire Nation's culinary.
And what did they mean with ‘next list’? Was Zuko ready to pick a new bride? So soon after confessing his feelings for her? Was he being forced to, or did he chose to move on so quickly? Would Katara be in the next list, as Katara? Tui, what if she was picked? Would she have to send Yue as her? Or someone else? She didn't have more close friends! How would she get out of that situation?!
Zuko clicked his chopsticks against his plate. “Ah, uncle, can we talk about it later? This is dinner time, no politics here. Besides, Lady Katara is Princess Yue's closest friend. I would never.”
Oh, fuck. Thank Tui for that, at least. Katara slowly let out a breath.
“Yes, forgive me, dear nephew.” Iroh smiled apologetically. “You and your friend are very strong women, Princess Yue. It takes courage to not only desire change but go for it. I’m sure your efforts will pay off. Now that you’re no longer going to be our next Fire Lady, do you plan on taking over your father’s place in the Northern Water Tribe’s Chiefdom?”
Katara swallowed down the rice with mango and delicately cleaned her mouth with a piece of cloth next to her plate.
“In the North Pole, when a Chief has only one heir and it’s a woman, she does not have the right to inherit,” she explained. “The closest male in the family will inherit the seat from my father after he passes. Right now, the closest male is my cousin.”
It was surprising that they didn’t know that. She thought that having Yue in the list meant that they knew it, because although a Tribal Princess couldn’t become the next Chief, at least she held a powerful enough position to offer a good alliance. Were they thinking that she would just deny her birthright and leave the North Pole to rule the Fire Nation as consort?
Iroh hummed, thoughtfully. “So, your father plans to marry again and have another child? Or do you plan on marrying and having one? The seat would pass to your son, in that case.”
The trickiest question of all tricky questions. If she said no, and a year from now, they heard that Princess Yue from the Northern Water Tribe was now married and had a child with the son of the Southern Water Tribe’s Chief, that would come out as weird, wouldn’t it? But if she said yes… wouldn’t it sound like she was refusing to marry Zuko because she had plans to put a child on her father’s seat?
She chose to start with what she knew.
“My father does not plan to marry again. He was in love with my mother, and he hopes to meet her again in the beyond.”
Iroh’s eyes softened. “I share his resolve. I hope to, one day, meet my beautiful Yein and Lu Ten in the beyond too.”
Katara lowered her eyes. “My apologies, Fire Lord. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories.”
“They’re not painful, dear.” Iroh gave her a gentle smile. “It pains me that they’re not here, but there isn’t a single memory I have of them that I’d consider painful. And, please, it’s Uncle Iroh.”
She nodded, giving him a faint smile. For a moment, neither of them spoke. They ate in graceful silence, with just the sound of the chopsticks hitting the porcelain plates. Katara could see Zuko glancing at her from time to time, but he kept quiet.
Then Iroh returned to his earlier question.
“If your father will not marry again, though, and your cousin inherits the seat, what do you imagine yourself doing?”
Well, at least it wasn’t about whether she would marry. Still, she had to be careful.
“I suppose I’ll find another way to serve my people.” She shrugged.
Iroh seemed pensive, but it was Zuko who asked. “And what would that look like?”
Katara considered the question. Back home, there weren’t expectations of what she would do, which was different for Yue. She was, until the next election, the only daughter of the Chief, so she had some kind of influence, and she was a Master Waterbender above all, so she had a few options.
She supposed she could focus on teaching the northern girls how to fight with water, or teach the next generations of southern waterbenders. She was very desired as a teacher, being the last pupil of the great Hama. Or, maybe, she could revolutionize and be the captain of the first all-woman ship crew in the South. That would be very cool, and there was always need of ships on the ocean, more than teachers of waterbending. Teacher or captain, those were the kind of careers she could have.
Maybe she could become a full-time healer too, if she wanted something to occupy her time. She could focus on healing her tribe, or even becoming a nomad, like the Air Nomads, and travel around healing people in exchange of food and shelter. It would be difficult, but very satisfying. And, maybe one day, if the Spirits granted her the chance, she could fall in love with an appropriate person and start a family. Healer or mother, both time-consuming, high-reward things to become.
Teacher, captain, healer, mother... for a second, Katara found it every option too lacking and disappointing.
But she wasn’t Katara right now. She was Yue.
And Yue, on the other hand… if Katara’s future was lacking and disappointing, Yue’s was already set in stone. There weren’t many things her friend could do if she chose to stay as Tribal Princess. Becoming a wife and a mother were the expected courses, and she was on the journey to it, but… Iroh wasn't waiting to hear that. If Katara was in Yue’s place, what would she do?
“I think I’d like to try to change things.” She said with an exhale. “There was a day during the sea voyage when the ship anchored in Hiji Harbor, a small coastal city in the Earth Kingdom.” Katara looked up at Zuko. “It was my first time outside of the Water Tribes. We were strolling down a market and there were two kids that were begging for food in a fruit stall, so we bought a basket of fruits and gave it to them, but I know it’s not enough. I think rulers get used to thinking of things in big numbers. If 90% of the population has three meals a day is a big win, but there’s still 10% who don’t. I think I’d like to change that. I’d like to be the person that looks at numbers and sees people.”
When Katara looked at the Fire Lord, he had a very contemplative look on his face.
“This is a very beautiful desire, Princess Yue,” he said. “I will say this only once, because I do not want either of you to feel bad for your choices, but your broken betrothal is a huge loss to the Fire Nation.”
Katara swallowed.
“But whatever endeavor you choose, you will have my support as Fire Lord.” Iroh put a hand on his heart, like a promise. “If I am not mistaken, there is a very good political science program at Ba Sing Se’s University. If you decide to enroll, I’d be delighted to support your studies. There’s a fire in your eyes when you speak of changing things. I’d like to see it become a flame.”
Katara was suddenly lost for words. University? She had heard something about it, but to go so far… it sounded... perfect.
To have a path that wasn’t this or that… it was almost too good to be true.
“Thank you, Uncle Iroh,” she said, smiling brightly.
“You’re very welcome, my dear.” He smiled back. “Now let’s eat before it goes cold! I hope you enjoy your meal, Princess Yue.”
Katara picked up her chopsticks again, and started eating the delicious food in front of her, but her mind was elsewhere.
Ba Sing Se University. Wow.
She had never seriously considered going anywhere like that. She had spent most of her life assuming that, eventually, her choices would narrow down to the things she saw the women around her doing. Becoming a teacher, a ship captain, a healer, a wife and mother… she could see herself being happy with these choices. She loved to teach, she adored going to the ocean and proving her skills, she enjoyed helping people and seeing them return to health, and she would, genuinely, love to have children and raise them.
But the idea that she could do something else too was exhilarating.
She could study, she could travel, she could learn about the way the world worked beyond the Water Tribes and actually change things!
“You know… that sounds interesting,” Zuko said suddenly, sipping his wine. “I mean, University sounds really interesting.”
“Yes, it does.” She smiled at him.
“You’ve never considered it?” He asked.
Katara shrugged. “Not really. It’s so far, and such a new concept. School for adults sounds like a joke in the Water Tribes.”
Iroh nodded. “The University is a new concept, but they take it very seriously. I have seen some of the programs they offer, and they are really interesting. The people graduating are also very knowledgeable. I believe we have hired a couple of astronomers that graduated there last year, didn’t we, Zuko?”
“We did, yes.” Zuko nodded. "And they are great professionals, we can't deny that."
Katara looked at him. “And you? Did you ever want to go?”
“I don't need to go, I have tutors.” He shrugged.
“This isn’t what I asked.”
Zuko gave her a look, and Katara smiled innocently. He sighed.
“No, Princess, I never really thought about university either. I have enough responsibilities. The Fire Nation will not give me four years of free time to study. Besides… uncle needs my help.”
Iroh snorted.
“That didn’t stop you from sneaking into a ship and spending almost three months away, did it?”
“Uncle!”
Iroh laughed. “All I’m saying is, dear nephew, that if you want to go to the university, we can discuss something. I think I have four more years in me.”
Katara smiled at them. They really loved each other, and it was cute to see.
Still, Zuko just shook his head. “Thank you, uncle, but no. I love the Fire Nation too much to spend four years away, even if it is to learn how to rule it better.” He then turned to look at Katara, softening up. “But if you dream of seeing the world, as I know you do, you should do it, Yue. And when you do, write me all about it. I’ll be waiting for your every letter.”
Katara had heard stories about sacrifices for love all of her life. She supposed that she, unconsciously, had also expected herself to sacrifice something for love one day. Maybe her freedom, or even her deepest desires. She knew enough of herself to know that she couldn’t love anyone halfway. She would sacrifice, she would bend, she would break, and, in the end, she would find happiness in it, because that was Katara.
But she had never thought that one of the things sacrificed for love could be… love.
Because as soon as she registered Zuko’s suggestion, there was no way of seeing it differently.
Zuko loved Katara.
He was ready to sacrifice his feelings, was willing to bend, break, and find happiness outside of her… just for her to find her own happiness.
While she studied, while she learned and found purpose, while she met people and places, he would stay in the Fire Nation. He would find a suitable match, he would resign himself to falling in love with his bride, and he would give his entire life to his nation and his people. Because that was Zuko.
He would find happiness. She would find happiness.
One day, his rebellious act of sneaking onto a ship that would bring his intended to the Fire Nation would be a story told to make his grandchildren laugh. One day, Katara’s choice to impersonate her best friend and fool the Fire Nation’s Prince would be the secret she would take to her grave.
And that was an unbearable notion.
So, she reached for her glass of wine and tried to smile like her heart wasn’t breaking.