Chapter Text
“I want the world to believe that there’s a light inside of me, but it’s time that i come clean; i am not what i seem”
Scorpius' POV:
Scorpius spent a long time after Albus left staring at the empty doorway, unable to comprehend what had just happened. It was all over so quickly that Scorpius still hadn’t managed to grasp the fact that Albus felt the same way he did – that he had kissed him! - and now he was gone.
In a way, it felt like what he had deserved. He hadn’t expected one kiss to reverse all of the pain and suffering that he had caused Albus, but some small part of him had desperately clung onto the hope that it would make everything better. It had been a foolish hope, and he knew that now, something out of a teen movie that he and Albus might have talked about if Scorpius had not been so desperate to prove himself in front of the people he wasn’t even certain he wanted to call his friends.
And then it struck him.
He knew exactly what he would have to do to regain Albus’ trust, and it would be painful – hell, it would be the most difficult thing he probably ever did – but if he did it, he would have Albus back for certain, and everything else in the world paled in comparison to that.
Sighing and knowing that it was a disgusting habit, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a whispered spell before sauntering back over to the balcony to look up at the stars, to wonder what they had in store for him, wondering who or what entity had decided to inflict so much suffering on him upon his birth. He couldn’t help but envy his friends for the easy, stress-free lives they lead, never feeling that they had to hide such a massive part of their identity.
Feeling a sudden disgust for himself and his entire life, Scorpius threw the half-smoked cigarette over the balcony, shortly before it was joined by the entire packet. If he was going to try to be true to himself and those around him, he had to start somewhere, and his desperation to uphold that bad-boy image that had plagued his school years seemed a fairly decent start.
Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow he would start anew. Tomorrow he would break every single one of the many promises he had made to his parents over the years, and somehow the thought of that didn’t fill him with dread as it once had. More than anything his parents had stopped him from being himself; sure, they were accepting of his gender and identity, as long as they were the only ones to know of it. They had always held the opinions of others in too high a regard, and that had no doubt rubbed off on him, but no more.
He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t keep following their absurd rules or keep himself a secret. In a way it felt rather absurd that his parents expected him to hide this aspect of his being for the rest of his life. Was he just expected never to marry or be in a relationship for the rest of his life? How could he be expected to just go along with that?
His mind made up, he headed back to the Slytherin common room as it slowly dawned on him just how much his life was going to change within the next twenty-four hours. He might be about to lose the only friends he had ever really had in favour of some boy who had managed to have such a great impact on his life in such a short space of time. He might even be about to lose both, but he tried not to think too much on that.
Before that fateful night where Albus had found him in the bathroom, he had been almost on the verge of giving up entirely. Trying to hide that part of himself became more and more of a challenge with each passing day, and he had been exhausted at the lack of validation that had come with nobody knowing him for who he really was, with no one understanding that this was a fundamental part of him and it couldn’t simply be hidden away in order to uphold a reputation that was built on shaky foundations at best.
But Albus had changed all of that, in his own small way. He hadn’t understood at first, and that was in itself understandable, but he had tried so very, very hard to understand, and that small gesture in itself made up for all those years of hiding and shame. The kindness he had seen in those emerald eyes and the shy, unassuming way he had asked those questions had been more than he had ever gotten from his parents. From them it had felt more a forced acceptance than anything.
When he reached the Slytherin Seventh Year dorm, Albus was nowhere to be seen, his bed apparently undisturbed, but Scorpius had been expecting that. For now all he could do was try to sleep, and force himself not to dwell too much on thoughts of what tomorrow might bring.
“Guys, there’s something I have to tell you.”
It was late evening, and the Slytherin Seventh Years were once more to be found in their secluded corner of the castle, the floor laden with blankets and beanbags, the walls bedecked with fairy lights, and tables brimming with alcohol. Scorpius had had a fair bit himself, to calm his nerves and to try and forget that what he was about to do was the scariest thing he had ever done, and would probably ever do.
“Shoot,” Rowan said in a monotonous tone of voice as she took a swig of some foul-smelling Muggle liquor she had managed to get her hands on somehow.
“This is really important.” Scorpius said insistently, sitting himself up straight and facing them each briefly in turn.
“We’re all ears, Scorpius,” Molly said brightly, as Goyle grunted noncommittally from beside her, but Scorpius had expected nothing more from him.
"Okay," Scorpius said, rubbing absently at his temple. "Jeez, this is hard. I think I need more booze."
Thankfully, Molly was more than happy to oblige, passing him the Muggle liquor that Rowan had just been drinking. She was herself a Muggleborn, but she had fitted right into Slytherin, showing the rest of the school that times really had changed. Sure, she could seem a bit shallow at times, but Scorpius had had six years to grow accustomed to that, and he didn't expect that to change anytime soon.
"Okay," he repeated, clearing his throat and gripping tightly onto the bottle which gave him a modicum of comfort. "The thing is, well – I am not who you think I am. Um..."
"You know you can tell us anything, dude," Rowan said, though her eyes were shut and she looked to be half-asleep. Scorpius frowned, unsure why this had been so much easier to explain to Albus. Perhaps because he hadn't known him, hadn't had the crushing weight of his opinion bearing down on him. That had all changed, of course, and things had to change here, too.
"Right," Scorpius responded awkwardly. "So, uh, the thing is, you all know me as Scorpius, but that's – that's not the name I was given when I was born. My parents picked it out for me, actually, when they realised that – that I was a boy."
"Oh," Molly's eyes widened. Even Rowan opened her own eyes and sat up, gazing at him intently. Goyle had a thoughtful expression on his face, which was quite incredible, all things considering.
"Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?" Scorpius asked in slight desperation.
"Well..." Rowan frowned slightly, glancing at Molly, who grinned. "If it's about the fact that you have a vagina, we already know."
Scorpius froze in a state of complete shock, feeling his heart drop right into his stomach.
"You knew?" He managed to choke out eventually, once the alcohol had worn away the shock.
"Yeah, I think it was..." Rowan paused, tapping her finger against her chin in thought.
"Last year," Molly contributed, still beaming widely.
"Yeah, last year. Molly was looking for a quill in your bag in Potions and she found a tampon in your bag." Rowan nodded wisely as Scorpius put his head in his hands, blushing fiercely and wishing he could just fade away from his existence altogether.
"I'm no genius, but I figured it after a little while," she said, reaching over to pat Scorpius gently on the shoulder. Scorpius just shook his head in disbelief. The fact that they already knew, and they understood, was almost incomprehensible, but somehow here he was, and the world hadn’t fallen away under his feet.
"I mean, you've always been a pretty secretive guy, and we didn't want to bring it up in case you didn't want to talk about it," Rowan said, shrugging.
"I had no idea," Goyle said gruffly, showing no more emotion than usual. "But I'm happy you've finally told us."
"Thanks," Scorpius said, finally willing to face them all once more. "I've never told anyone because my parents were always so insistent that I kept this a secret, and I guess that's always made me more afraid of people's reactions than I ought to be, but… Thank you. For proving me wrong."
"Oh, you know how much we love proving you wrong," Rowan said, taking another sip of her drink before leaning back and closing her eyes once more.
Scorpius truly couldn't quite believe this. He had spent so long simply expecting them to reject him, to hate him, to tear him to pieces, that he was having trouble coming to terms with this easy acceptance. His parents had always taught him to keep his true self hidden, deep, deep down within himself.
And while his friends hadn't always been the best throughout their six years of friendship, he had to accept that people were capable of making mistakes just as much as they were capable of being incredible and supportive. He himself had far too much experience in the making mistakes category recently for his liking.
"And… That's really alright with you guys?" Scorpius asked hesitantly.
"Oh, yes," Molly said. "You'll always be the Prince of Slytherin in our eyes."
Scorpius narrowed his eyes at her as she smiled indulgently at him.
"And… If I decide I want to be friends with Albus Potter after all?" He asked, thinking back to that terrible conversation only weeks ago.
"Oh, please, Scorpius," Rowan snorted with laughter. "The way you feel about him is as transparent as day."
"Even I knew that," Goyle piped up. There may even have been the faintest trace of a smile on his face, but Scorpius couldn't be certain.
"I hate you all." Scorpius said, burying his face back into his hands. "Why didn't you say anything? When I was being so horrible about him?"
"Because..." Molly frowned, looking pensive. "I don't know. Being rude about other people behind their back is just what we've always done. I had no idea he'd be listening."
"Yeah, I kind of feel like a total bitch now," Rowan said with a sigh. "I mean, he seems a fairly decent guy, even if I have never heard him say a word."
"And he is kind of cute," Molly added, sighing wistfully. "I mean, can you imagine how beautiful he'd be if he cut his hair and we could actually see his face?"
“What am I supposed to do?” Scorpius asked, feeling panic well up in his stomach all over again. “He hates me now, I’m certain of it. And I’m not saying he doesn’t have a good reason, but - how can I prove to him that I’m not like that? That I’m not really the jerk I was that night.”
“Not always, at least,” Rowan raised her eyebrow at him, and he scowled back.
“Well, have you talked at all since?” Molly asked, elbowing Rowan.
“He told me I should be myself, that I shouldn’t hide who I am truly am,” Scorpius frowned. “But you guys already knew, so none of that matters.”
“Then you have to prove it to him.” Goyle said.
“Thanks, Goyle, but I think we’ve already gathered that I really don’t know how to do that, and if I do, I’ll probably just mess it up anyway,” he muttered darkly. He felt bitter, inside, like all the bright places inside of him that had bloomed like flowers the night that he had kissed Albus had all shriveled and wilted, and now he wasn’t sure what it meant to be happy.
“I have an idea…” Molly said, grinning conspiratorially. Scorpius couldn’t help but groan, and didn’t even bother attempting to stifle it; Molly’s plans usually involved a lot of alcohol, a lot of bad decisions, and, funnily enough, a lack of actual planning.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Scorpius, you git.” She rolled her eyes. “You say you want to prove to him that you’re serious? Well… How about making an announcement? In front of the whole school? You know, about who you really are and all that.”
Scorpius stared at her incredulously, struggling to find the right words. “But - my parents -”
Rowan scoffed. “Come on, dude, Molly’s idea is good and you know it. Quite frankly, your parents are assholes if they expect you to hide this forever.”
“And it’d be so romantic,” Molly said with a wistful sigh. “like something out of a movie. Can you imagine, making the big announcement, and everybody’s all in shock, and then Albus walks up to the front and kisses you -”
Scorpius zoned out slightly, letting the sound of Molly’s voice wash over him. His lips were quirked in a smile, and his mind was made up. He was going to do it. He was going to tell everybody. Funnily enough, the thought didn’t fill him with nearly as much fear as it would have done before, and he found himself almost - almost - looking forward to it.
The next day was the last day of term before the Christmas holidays. Usually Scorpius would be feeling miserable at the thought of spending two weeks at home with only his parents for company, but today he felt light on his feet, and almost could have floated to his lessons despite their monotony.
Albus was still ignoring him as resolutely as ever, but that was alright. He sat at the other end of the still empty table in the Great Hall that evening before dinner, glancing covertly at Scorpius and his friends as they whispered to each other. They were discussing what Scorpius would do and say, but Scorpius knew that Albus had no way of knowing that, and probably thought that he had chickened out and kept silent with his friends about his identity. He couldn’t wait to see the look on the other boy’s face.
When the room had filled up and McGonagall stepped up to the front of the Hall, Scorpius’ heart was hammering in his chest, and he could barely keep still. He’d never felt apprehension quite like this, not even when he had kissed Albus. He only hoped that the outcome of this would be better.
“- I hope that you all have a restful Christmas, but not too restful, of course,” McGonagall was saying. Molly nudged him, hard, in the ribs, and he grunted. She gestured less than surreptitiously up at the front of the Hall, staring at him pointedly.
Deciding that it was now or never, Scorpius got to his feet and walked in as calm a manner as he could muster up to the front, trying to steady the shaking of his hands and the unsteadiness of his breath.
Upon seeing him, the headmistress cut off, raising an eyebrow in his direction. The Great Hall dissolved into whispers as Scorpius stepped up onto the raised platform, feeling his cheeks burn and trying very hard not to think about why.
“Excuse me, Professor, but there’s something I’d like to announce,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Mr. Malfoy, this is most unprecedented -” McGonagall began, tutting and shaking her head. Sparing a glance at the teacher’s table, Scorpius could see that they were watching him closely, all frowning disapprovingly. It wasn’t like he had given them much reason to like him, he supposed, before realising that he was becoming distracted.
“I’m sorry, Professor, I only need a moment or two,” he said, failing to keep the desperation out of his voice.
“Very well,” she relented, still shaking her head and pursing her lips even as she took a step back. Scorpius wondered if she knew, about him, but reasoned that his parents wouldn’t have dared risk sharing such information with anybody, not even someone to whom such information might have been beneficial.
“Thank you,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief and smiling briefly before awareness of the Herculean task he had ahead of him hit him like a brick wall.
“Um,” he cleared his throat again, feeling his cheeks burn as if they truly were ablaze, the rest of him to follow until he was just a pillar of flame. He had never been particularly good at public speaking, but when he spotted Albus in the crowd, staring up at him curiously, his chin on his hand and his head cocked slightly to the sight, he swallowed his fear. It was now or never.
“So, the thing is - I know you all have this idea in your head about who I am. The Prince of Slytherin, or whatever,” he chuckled dryly, but the Hall was more or less silent, four hundred or so pairs of eyes all watching him. “I know that being who I am has meant that I can’t really hide, and I know I have a bit of a reputation, but the truth is - I’m not who you think I am.”
He paused, his mind fumbling over the words he had prepared earlier. “And I’m saying this because I can’t hide that part of myself anymore. I realise some of you probably hate me, and I’ve been a jerk over the years, but that’s because I was afraid, afraid that someone might find out who I am.
“But yesterday I talked to my friends and realised that I don’t need to be ashamed of who I am, no matter what my parents have always told me. And yes, McGonagall’s right, this is unprecedented, but I can think of no other way to say this, and say it right.”
He took a deep breath. “The truth is, I’m transgender.”
Scorpius squeezed his eyes shut as whispers broke out across the Hall. He allowed himself a few seconds to pull himself together, and when he opened his eyes again, he immediately found Albus Potter, who was smiling now, wider than Scorpius had ever seen.
“And,” he continued, eyes still locked with Albus, unable to look away. “I realise this may come as a shock, but I can’t keep lying to you all, to everybody. Either you accept me as I am or you leave me alone, but I’m not going to hide who I am anymore, and I’m not going to let my parents think they can control my life for a moment longer.”
Albus got to his feet, causing the heads in the room to swivel back towards the Slytherin table. Grinning, he began to clap, and soon Molly, Rowan, and even Goyle had joined him, even the applause of four people thundering above the whispers.
Seconds later, Lily Potter stood up, joining in the applause and giving Scorpius a sly wink. Scorpius almost thought he was going to die right there of mortification when the rest of the school, following Lily’s lead, got to their feet and began clapping. Risking a glance back, he saw that even a few of the teachers were applauding him, and McGonagall nodded at him approvingly, stepping forward once more and effectively silencing the Hall with a wave of her hand.
“Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Malfoy,” she said, “as unorthodox a way as you may have chosen to express it.”
Scorpius grinned sheepishly and hurried off the stage, keeping his head bent low to avoid the stares as he slid back into his seat next to Molly, who wrapped her arms around him and squealed with what he could only assume was delight.
“I’m so proud of you, dude,” Rowan said from his other side, slapping him on the shoulder.
“You’re practically a Gryffindor,” Goyle said from across the table. Scorpius scowled at him, but deep down he couldn’t hide the thrill that this all made him feel.
Throughout the rest of the meal, Scorpius was certain he could feel Albus’ gaze on him, but he kept his eyes averted, certain that if he saw the look on Albus’ face, he’d simply fall apart. In fact, he tried to keep his eyes focused solely on the meal and on the three people around him, aware that people across the Hall and on his own table were whispering furtively about him.
When at last the meal was over, he tried to look for Albus, but found that he was nowhere to be seen. Typical, really, that just when Scorpius needed to talk to him most, he vanished.
Instead, he found himself accosted in the entrance of the school by none other than Rose Weasley and Lily Potter. He grimaced as they stood in front of him, arms crossed with almost identical expressions of disapproval. Desperately, he glanced towards his friends, but they just grinned at him before disappearing down the stairs.
“What do you want, Weasley?” Scorpius asked in a drawl. He and Rose had never gotten along, but that was hardly surprising.
“Drop the act, Malfoy,” she said, smirking. “Lily’s told me everything. About Albus, how you did all this for him.”
“Lily!” He clenched his fists, practically seething. Lily just smiled angelically at him, her light auburn hair framing her face like an obnoxious halo.
“Look, Malfoy,” Rose said. “I know we haven’t always gotten along,”
“An understatement, if you ask me,” Scorpius muttered. Rose glared back, and continued as if he hadn’t spoken.
“I just want to say that what you did was really brave, and I’m sure my cousin will really appreciate it.” She said, a little awkwardly. “I also haven’t always gotten along great with Albus, but I think you and Lily have showed me that I need to change that.”
“Great,” Scorpius said, not entirely sincerely, wondering if she wanted a medal or something.
“I still think you’re an absolute git, of course,” Rose said as Lily rolled her eyes at her. “But what you did was really great, and I bet it helped a lot of students who might have been struggling.”
“Your point, Head Girl?” He asked.
“Just accept my compliment, Malfoy.”
“Fine. Thank you, Weasley. I’ll never forget your kindness.”
Without another word, Rose nodded and stormed off, joining a group of her own friends, an eclectic bunch of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws.
“That was painful to watch,” Lily said, practically wincing.
“Why did you tell her - about how I feel about Albus?” Scorpius demanded.
“I didn’t!” Lily said defensively. “Not explicitly, at least. It was pretty obvious, the way you were giving him heart eyes during your speech. And when he stood up - in front of the whole school! - I thought I was going to collapse in shock. There’ll be a lot of whispers going around Hogwarts this weekend, and not just about your little announcement. Which was very brave, I must add.”
“Cheers,” Scorpius said, feeling his cheeks burn once more. Lily beamed up at him.
“No problem.”
“You don’t happen to know where Albus is, do you?” Scorpius asked in as nonchalant a tone as possible, glancing around furtively. He had so much he wanted to say, so much he was desperate to explain.
“‘Fraid not,” Lily said, shrugging her shoulders. “but I think, if you do talk to him, you might be surprised at just how talkative he can be.”
“I’ll bear that in mind,” Scorpius said, grinning, as he hurried off to go and find him.
In the end, somewhat surprisingly, Albus was nowhere to be found. Scorpius had checked in his dorm room, in the Slytherin common room, and had even wandered back to the bathroom where everything had begun to change on that fateful night, but eventually, exhaustion settling in his bones as the weight of what he had done began to weigh on his mind, he stumbled back to his bed, yawning all the way, and fell asleep the very second his head hit the pillow.
The next morning, Scorpius was jolted awake by the realisation that he would be going home today, and that he would have to face his parents. He groaned, and could easily have stayed in bed for the rest of the day, forfeiting Christmas at home entirely, but he knew he needed to find Albus before it was too late.
When Albus was nowhere to be found in the dorm, or at breakfast, Scorpius began to panic a little, twiddling his thumbs and trying not to sigh despairingly as he stared out of the carriage that was taking him and his friends down to Hogsmeade and the train that would take him back to his home, and whatever might await him there.
“You tried,” Molly said gently, her expression one of sincere disappointment.
“And you did an amazing thing,” Rowan pointed out. “If he thinks he can just keep playing you, then I’ll show him a piece of my mind.”
Scorpius couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at that. “I don’t think Albus Potter has a single mean bone in his body. If anything, he’s too shy to talk to me.”
“Scorpius, look!” Goyle said gruffly, nudging him and pointing towards the train, where Albus stood awkwardly with Maria, who was whispering fiercely to him and ensuring the other students kept a wide berth around the pair of them, though that did little to stop the stares and the gawking.
When Albus spotted Scorpius, he waved briefly, as if without thinking, before his face flushed and he pulled Maria onto the train. Though Maria had always been quiet, Scorpius could hear her complaints from where he was standing, a number of feet away.
He wasn’t sure what to feel. Part of him felt hurt that Albus had snubbed him in that way, but he knew Albus, and the last thing he would have wanted would have been to cause a scene, especially after yesterday, and especially if the majority of the student body would be watching on eagerly, feeding fuel to the ever-burning fire that was the Hogwarts rumour mill.
Vowing to find him alone as soon as he could, Scorpius stepped up onto the Hogwarts Express and found a nice, secluded compartment with his friends. As the train set off, Scorpius tried to pay attention to Molly and Rowan’s conversation, as Goyle snoozed in the corner, but his mind was elsewhere.
After what felt like an eternity of staring out of the window, his mind turning in hopeless circles, Rowan nudged Scorpius fervently and Molly squealed. Glancing out of the compartment and into the corridor, Scorpius spotted Albus there, biting his lip anxiously, and almost leapt up from his seat in shock.
Albus gestured at Scorpius to follow him. He blinked, numbly, his mind failing him, until Molly pulled him out of his seat and shoved him ungraciously into the corridor with a wink. Scorpius followed closely behind him as they headed down the corridor, neither of them speaking. Scorpius could almost feel his heart pounding in his chest, and it was a concerted effort to avoid looking into other compartments to see what they made of Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy going for a stroll together through the Hogwarts Express.
Outside the very last compartment of the train stood Lily, a scowl on her face. When she became aware of the pair of them, her face broke into a wide grin, and she squealed in exactly the same way that Molly had.
“All yours, brother!” She said brightly. “The other prefects tried to get in but I told them where to shove it.”
“How you became a prefect, I will never know,” Scorpius said drily, his voice barely above a whisper. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and Albus looked back, smiling.
“That makes two of us!” She practically beamed with pride as she slyly observed the two of them, and if this were under any other circumstance, Scorpius would have punched her, but he wasn’t sure how Albus would react, so he went with giving her the finger.
Once they were settled into the compartment, and Scorpius had shooed Lily away, as well as Rose who had turned up to spy on the two of them, Albus took a deep breath, clearly steeling his nerves.
“I’m sorry,” Albus began, not meeting Scorpius’ eyes.
“You’re sorry?” Scorpius couldn’t help but ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Sorry - I - dammit!” Albus rolled his eyes. “I always apologise too much. I can’t help it.”
He paused for a few seconds, mouth half open, as if searching for the words. Scorpius let him find them, his heart beating out a quick and steady rhythm in his chest.
“I just -” Albus began again, meeting Scorpius’ eyes at last. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I promise. I just needed time to think about this. About everything, I guess. And I mean, there’s been no shortage of things to think about. I guess I should start with - I’m sorry. For real this time. That I ran away. That I thought you were using me or playing me or something. I know you’re sorry for the things you said. And I understand, I really do - that need to prove yourself to your friends, even if I only have one.”
Scorpius hung on his every word, barely able to catch his breath.
“But from what I saw yesterday, you underestimated your friends. And I underestimated you. And everything was all kind of one big mess, but - seeing you there, at the front of the Hall, baring your soul to everybody - that was just - I don’t even have words. It was amazing.”
Scorpius turned his face away, trying to hide the blush he could feel rising on his cheeks. It was December, after all; there could only be one explanation for the redness of his face, and it was one he was sure Albus and the rest of the school had seen far too much of lately.
Albus reached out, hesitantly, taking Scorpius’ chin in his hand and gently guiding Scorpius’ eyes to his, before his arm jerked back to his side, hovering. Scorpius felt a rush of something deep and almost unexplainable. If it had a name, it would have been love, but somehow that didn’t quite feel adequate to convey what he was feeling in that moment.
“I did it for you,” Scorpius said, hoarsely, feeling himself tear up and wiping frantically at his eyes with the cuff of his robes. “I needed to prove to you that I meant what I said, I really did. You’re just… Wonderful. I think you saved me that night, I really do. I didn’t used to believe in fate or any of that bullshit but now I think - maybe that night was meant to happen, meant to bring us together.”
“I agree,” Albus whispered, and Scorpius was startled to see tears in his eyes, too. “And this is so stupid but I - I always just kind of felt that I was undeserving of love. But you showed me that things could be different. So maybe you saved me that night, too.
“And - I never felt that I could feel like this for anybody. I mean, I kind of - well, I guess I can say this now - I kind of had a crush on you and I’d managed to convince myself that nothing could come of it and then that night happened - that night! - and I realised that what I’d felt for you before was nothing, and then you kissed me and oh god please tell me to shut up, or I’m just going to keep-”
Scorpius was more than happy to oblige as he leaned forward, clasping Albus’ hands in his, and kissed him, trying to push his every emotion into it, trying to convey just some of that hope and despair and absolute, unequivocal happiness. Albus’ lips were soft, and warm, and Scorpius wanted to just drink in the feel of their lips meeting, their hands clasped together, their knees bumping awkwardly against each other in the enclosed space.
“Yes!” Scorpius shot back into his seat at the shout from outside. Albus’ eyes were wide as he absently touched his lips, smiling as if in disbelief. Scorpius gave his other hand one last squeeze as the door to the compartment was flung open and Lily flew in, evidently unable to contain her excitement for another moment.
“Oh, you two!” She practically gushed, looking fondly at her older brother. It was a far cry from the cynical Hufflepuff Scorpius had befriended over those long nights on the Astronomy tower, but he decided quickly that he liked this version of Lily just as much, as she fussed over him and her brother and didn’t seem to care a bit that she wasn’t particularly wanted.
“You can come in now!” She called, clapping her hands together, as Rose, Molly, and Rowan entered all at once, the Gryffindor standing as far away from the two Slytherins as she physically could. Lastly, Maria entered reluctantly, saying nothing, though she did allow Scorpius one small smile, which he took as a great compliment from the cold, seemingly indifferent Ravenclaw.
“Not to be overdramatic, but I think I believe in love again, thanks to you guys!” Lily said warmly as she unabashedly took the seat next to Albus, Maria taking the seat on his other side, as close to the exit as possible. Molly and Rowan sat at either side of Scorpius, and even Rowan could barely restrain her excitement.
“You’re fifteen,” Rose said pointedly, hovering awkwardly in the doorway. “You haven’t had time not to believe in love yet.”
“Preach it, sister.” Molly said enthusiastically, holding up her hand for a high five. Rose hesitated, before relaxing a little and high fiving her back and settling into the seat next to her.
Scorpius met Albus’ eye across the noise and disruption, and smiled as he took Albus’ hand from across the compartment, holding it without fear or worry and wondering just how he was so lucky.
“Well, aren’t we a perfect picture of House unity,” Rowan said in her usual dry, sarcastic way several hours later, as the train began to make its winding way through London. The previous hours had been some of the strangest, yet most enjoyable of Scorpius’ life, and he found himself wondering if this was it. That perfect, unattainable thing he had been striving for but had never quite been able to find. He was finally able to shed that false image he had created around himself, and he could finally just be, without fear of slipping up and saying the wrong thing.
At some point, Goyle had stumbled in, grinning slightly at the sight of Scorpius and Albus holding hands, and had promptly fallen back to sleep after settling himself in opposite Maria, who had stared at him cautiously ever since.
The weirdest part was that he had found himself laughing along with and even agreeing with what Rose was saying, and it had felt normal.
Scorpius could see a future for himself, after Christmas. He could see things beginning to change for the better, and all because of Albus Potter and one fateful late-night meeting in a fateful Hogwarts bathroom. He could see himself being happy and content, no longer ashamed of who he was and being forced to hide it.
However, thoughts of shame and hiding inevitably brought about more unpleasant thoughts of having to face his parents, and as the Hogwarts Express drew ever closer to King’s Cross station, the anxiety within him grew until it reached almost unbearable levels and he had to excuse himself to catch a breath of fresh, crisp December air in the corridor.
He stood by the door with his hands clutching at his knees, breathing deeply, when he became aware of a figure in front of him. He exhaled slightly, feeling his stomach settle just a little as Albus came and stood next to him, taking his hand.
“I’m scared,” Scorpius admitted. “I don’t know how my parents are going to react - they’ve no doubt heard from the other parents by now, they’re all going to be talking to each other on that platform, I can see it now. I can’t face it.”
“You can do this,” Albus assured him. “We can do this.”
The train slowed rapidly as they approached Platform 9 and ¾ and students began to spill out into the corridor, laden with bags and cages. A hushed whisper spread through the corridor, but the sight of Albus straightening up beside him filled Scorpius with confidence and, taking one last deep breath, Scorpius stood tall, and proud, and unafraid.
The train came to a grindingly slow stop, and all at once the doors opened and he and Albus stepped onto the platform, hand in hand and ready to face the world together.