Chapter Text
1.
“Parrot, are you sure this is gonna work?”
“Yes, bro, trust me - I know what I’m doing.”
A few days ago, Theo had claimed that he was the biggest bird (like usual), but he also claimed Parrot was a teacher’s pet - to which the macaw hybrid took great offence and decided to prove the cockatiel hybrid wrong. This is how he ended up glancing through a door window while Parrot typed away at a keyboard, code on the screen that Theo didn’t understand in the slightest. The duo had snuck into the broadcast room so early in the morning that the only people in the school were them and a few teachers - and while it was an effective strategy for not getting caught, Theo couldn’t help but yawn and frown.
“Y’know, you could’ve picked a better time for this. I’m gonna be sleeping through all my classes now because of you.” As Theo complained, Parrot’s gaze flicked between the computer screen and his phone, the devices connected with a black wire.
“I told you, you didn’t have to come with me.”
“Yeah, but if I didn’t come with you then who knows what would’ve happened! You could’ve been caught by a teacher, or seen on the cameras-“
“Bro, our school can’t afford to fix the lights in the bathrooms, do you seriously think we have functional cameras?”
“You never know, bro!”
Before Parrot could argue anymore, a loud ping came from his phone that caught his attention. Theo watched as Parrot unplugged the phone from the computer with a grin on his face as he got out of the chair, his wings and back stretching out until his spine let out a loud cracking noise. Theo grimaced at the sound as he glanced through the window again, opened the door, and poked his head through, looking left and right for any teachers around.
“Alright, should be clear.”
“Nice work, bro. Let’s go.”
“Dude, where are we even gonna go? Because of you, we’re literally in school at five in the morning! What are we gonna do for four hou-!“
“We can go to that coffee shop you like.”
“…The one with the grilled cheeses?”
“Yeah, my treat.”
Theo slowly turned to Parrot, who was looking at him with that smug smile he always got whenever he knew he said exactly the right thing.
“Maybe coming with you wasn’t so bad after all.”
…
“I’m still the bigger bird though.”
“Bro.”
~~~
While Theo practically devoured his grilled cheese, Parrot was on his phone, downloading something that would help him hide his true identity as the perpetrator of the prank.
“Okay, it should be working now. Say something.” Parrot pointed his phone towards Theo, a voice recording active as the Cockatiel quickly chewed and swallowed his sandwich, even though he was slightly confused.
“Uh… I love cheese?” Parrot then ended the recording and clicked a few buttons before playing it back. Theo couldn’t help but listen in shock as the words he just said were repeated back, but instead with a woman’s voice.
“Dude, that sounds crazy realistic. But why’d you make the voice changer sound like a woman?”
“It sounds more official than a teenage boy speaking, no? Plus, I don’t want people to know it’s me talking.”
“Talking about what, exactly?”
“Oh, I’ve got something in mind…”
~~~
Theo couldn’t help but yawn as the teacher explained some sort of graph, the cockatiel’s early morning shenanigans making him too tired to pay attention. He turned to Parrot, who was studiously copying down notes, as always; he had to keep up the ‘Unstable High’s smartest student’ reputation after all.
Although, Theo remembered a time when another boy held that title - he had met him a couple times, actually, since him and Parrot used to-
The sound of the school’s PA system buzzing on interrupted the bird’s thoughts, as well as the rest of the class as everyone looked at the speaker, the teacher included.
“Hello everybody, this is an emergency drill, I repeat, an emergency drill.”
The class started muttering to each other in confusion and concern, but the voice of the woman speaking sounded way too familiar to the Cockatiel. Theo slowly turned to Parrot who - when he noticed the other was staring - looked back with a subtle smirk.
“Due to recent reports of floods, all schools have now been informed to play this broadcast, which will give information on what to do in case of flooding - all of which will be demonstrated by your teachers.”
Everyone in class turned to look at their teacher, who looked back in surprise.
“Uh… I wasn’t informed of this, but since it’s an emergency broadcast I suppose that’s why…”
“Now, to begin with, when there is a flood it is imperative to stay on high ground; therefore, you must sit on your desks. In addition, you must sit in complete silence to maximise use of oxygen and to maintain a calm atmosphere. Your teachers shall demonstrate this now.”
Theo watched in shocked amusement as the teacher cleared their throat before climbing onto their own desk and sitting awkwardly with their legs crossed. The cockatiel couldn’t get around the fact that the teacher completely believed the broadcast to this extent! And it seemed the rest of the class was split between resisting the urge to start bursting out into laughter or making sure to pay attention.
“Next, to maintain optimal comfort, you must sit curled up into a ball with your forehead resting on your knees. This is so you can stay in a position that leaves you comfortable until the flood is over.”
Practically on command, the teacher curled up into a ball with their face resting on their knees, and Theo had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Unfortunately, just before it could get any better, someone burst through the door in a hurry.
“Everyone, please remain calm, this is not a real broadcast.”
The class looked up as the Principal of Unstable High - MinuteTech - quickly walked towards the teacher and helped them off the table. Minute looked out of breath and tired, and the cockatiel guessed that it was probably from having to run around every classroom to tell them it was a fake broadcast. Theo glanced at Parrot, who looked at him and shrugged with an amused smile.
“My apologies everyone, it seems someone has messed with the intercom, and we are trying our best to find the culprit and switch it off. Please continue with your classes, and try to ignore the broadcast until we can turn it off.”
And with a quick nod to the teacher, MinuteTech left. However, as soon as he shut the door, the entire class erupted into cheerful and excited chatter about who was responsible and why they did it.
“So, bro, who do you think did that?” Theo turned with a confused look as Parrot grinned at him.
“Huh? I thought it was y-“ Parrot quickly realised his mistake was overestimating Theo’s ability to read between the lines, and the macaw practically hissed at the cockatiel.
“Bro!” At the sight of Parrot’s expression, Theo quickly realised what the other was trying to do and replied in a rushed manner.
“Oh… I mean, uh- yeah, Parrot, I have no idea who it was.”
Parrot fought the urge to face palm as the teacher told everyone to settle down, which caused the commotion to quickly simmer down as they continued the lesson. However, it was hard for anyone to concentrate as the broadcast kept playing, so they were occasionally interrupted with random sentences like:
“If you put chalk above your lip, it’ll help regulate your breathing, so now your teachers with show you the best way to draw it on.”
“If you drink enough water, then you’ll float a lot better, so your teachers will now demonstrate how to chug a gallon of water in under a minute for maximum efficiency.”
And Theo’s personal favourite:
“Pursing your lips like a fish will help calm you down and believe that you are in a safe place.”
After every new addition, the class seemed to be holding back more and more laughter, while the teacher seemed more tired than angry. Finally, after a comment about baby turtle eggs and jumping, the PA system buzzed off before buzzing back on again - this time not a woman’s voice, but MinuteTech’s instead.
“Hello everyone. As I hope most of you are aware of by now, this was a fake broadcast and not an emergency drill. We are still unaware of the culprit, but we are looking into it as I speak. If any student has any information regarding who might be responsible for this, please tell a member of staff. Thank you for your time.”
The intercom buzzed off, and that was the end of that.