Chapter Text
Dick looked at himself in the mirror
His body was covered in scars. Normally that wasn’t an issue, but normally he wasn’t staring at himself. The burns from the fire were fading into a pale pink against his tanned honey skin. He had scars from ropes, knifes, falling, guns, burns, and some self inflicted.
He was sitting on the bed in his boxers, staring at himself in a full length mirror. The more he stared, the more his reflection warped in his mind. He knew logically it was the body dysmorphia talking, but he couldn’t help but find himself ugly.
What a thought, hundreds of people called him handsome, pretty, hot, sexy, and beautiful, yet he couldn’t see it in himself.
‘I am just a freak…’
At some point, Bruce walked in, he saw Dick on the bed, crying while looking at himself, silent tears ran down his cheeks. Bruce’s brow creased in worry for his eldest son.
“Chum, what’s wrong?”
Dick tore his eyes away from the mirror to look at Bruce. His voice refused to work. He resorted to making grabby hands at him, wanting a hug. He obliged and hugged his darling son.
“Oh baby, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.”
Dick broke into sobs, hiding in Bruce’s chest like when he was a little boy.
“My head is filled with parasites..”
Bruce rubbed his back.
“Don’t cry..”
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Dick lied on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, it was one in the morning, it was a clear night out, rare for Gotham, he could see little Jason in the corner of his vision. By this point, he knew he was a hallucination, but it still hurt, seeing his Little Wing bleeding and gory…
‘I dream of You, almost every night..’
‘Hopefully, I won’t wake up this time’
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That night, he dreamed he was back at the circus, a much simpler time, he didn’t have to worry about anything, he could play with his parents, swinging on the trapeze.
Sometimes he wished he could go back to these simpler times.
Everything went dark
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He was back at the night everything went oh so wrong, but with was…
Different
He couldn’t see his parents, in place of their bodies was blank, a black square, it was blurry too.
You’ve chosen not to remember this part
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He was 16 again, standing in front of Slade, it’s raining, he doesn’t like the rain
“Don’t kill me”
He heard himself speak
“Just help me run away from everyone”
Why is he running?
“I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face”
What happened?
“Don’t cry”
He heard Slade speak, it sounded muffled, like he was underwater
He woke up