Chapter Text
Rogue remained beside Erik, never having left his side in fear that if she had stepped out for just a moment, he might have slipped away. Yet it forced her to ignore her own needs. Thankfully, Kurt would come to tend to his sister, offering food and water to replenish her energy.
Kurt was not a fool of what was right before him. Although he was aware how much Remy had taken Rogue’s heart, there was still room in her heart for Erik. He did not press her nor found any reason to do. It was best if he didn’t. But he could see how much Erik’s close encounter to death had affected her, how she had never left his side and watched over him, occasionally checking his wound and redressing them, and wiping the sweat off his forehead and neck to cool the feverish temperature.
The night sky began to lighten, the darkness giving way to dawn, and the desert wind stirred the sand. Another night has passed to welcome a new day.
Rogue tiredly sighed and looked down at Erik. He still appeared exhausted, but he looked s though he was no longer slipping away from her. She brushed the hair from his forehead before withdrawing her hand to hold his.
It had been some days since the fever broke out and while the temperature has been able to decrease, Erik had not opened his eyes since then. It frightened Rogue. Charles may have said he was alive due to no signs of hallucinations, Hank may say there’s a pulse, but the truth of the matter was Erik seemed barely alive just by laying there.
How ironic that he could almost pass for Sleeping Beauty, if she had endured a high fever from an infected puncture wound like he has. All that needed to be done was for her to kiss him and he would magically awaken and the curse will be lifted. If only that truly happened. That for once her absorption power, the same power she considered it a burden and he a gift, could somehow lift the curse that has been inflicted on him.
Just a kiss and he returns to her.
Alas, if only life were that of fairytales. Where said tales of brave heroes triumphantly overcome evil and as a reward live happily ever after.
Rogue stroked his hand, keeping it warm for both their sakes. Her green eyes, red and swollen from crying and hours without sleep, stared at the motionless man before her. Despite being ill, he still remained handsome. His chest slowly rise and fell with each passing breath. He wasn’t struggling anymore, thank goodness. But Erik was still not out of the woods. Days without waking up meant many things. Yes, he was alive. But what good was there to be alive while unconscious?
“Oh, Erik.” She tiredly sighed, her voice dripping with exhaustion. She continued stroking his hand until she gently flipped it to reveal the underside of his forearm.
There it was. 214782 The tattoo that had decided his fate.
I have once again survived another Holocaust. His words played in the back of her mind. And he was right. It was a Holocaust for mutants and she was a witness to it. The very thing Erik had feared of and fought against for years had came true.
“You’re gonna have to wake up, sugah. Ah ain’t much good at talkin’ to people who can’t talk back.” Her attempt at humor fell flat in the empty room. But she still continued speaking to him, unsure whether he could actually hear her or not. But it needed to be done. For both their sakes.
“Ah’m sorry for what Ah said to you. For tellin’ you Ah didn’t care what happened to you or that you were better off dead.” Her shoulders sagged in guilt and she tightened her fingers around his hand. “That wasn’t true. Never was. Ah reckon you knew that even when Ah was too stubborn to admit it myself.”
Her eyes settled on his face, pale and motionless. Oh, it made the tears gather in her eyes from her guilt. “If Ah could turn back time, Ah wouldn’t have said those awful things to ya if it meant you wouldn’t get sick like this.”
The admission hurt more than she expected. She had resented him for living. And now the thought of him dying was unbearable.
Rogue bowed her head, her grip on his hand growing tight her as she lifts it and places it over her chest, her heart pain fully beating.
“Ah never really blamed you for Remy’s death. Ah know you didn’t kill him. Ah know he made his own choice and Ah know you tried to save as many people as possible like he did. But Ah was just so angry that you were still here when he wasn’t.” Her voice bean to crack, her emotions swelling as she tried to hold her tears back. “And instead of bein’ there for you, Ah made you feel like you had no right to grieve alongside me.”
Tears began falling down her face, a few landing onto the back of his hand. “Ah’m sorry, Erik. Ah’m so, so sorry. Ah wish you could hear me.”
For a while, she said nothing. Instead, she listened to his breathing, taking it all in as she gently strokes his cheek. And as she sat there wallowing in her emotions, she remembered the words he had muttered through the fever.
I love you.
He had said it when he could barely speak, when his mind was lost somewhere between the Gala and the attacks of Genosha. She wasn’t sure how much he would remember it. Maybe none of it. But she had heard him and she responded to him, even if he had been too far gone to understand.
“Ah love you.” She whispered and if she had to say those three little words over an over again to ensure he will awake, then she will do it without hesitation. “God, Ah love you too. And it’s the reason why Ah need you here with me again.”
Rogue studied his face, searching for any kind of sign that he may have heard her. But there was none. His eyes remained shut and his expression was peaceful in the sense that he no longer had the strength to fight whatever was haunting him.
“Remy will always have a place in my heart and Ah’m not ashamed of that. Ah loved him, Ah lost him, and there ain’t a damn thing in this world that can change it.” Her thumb moved slowly over his knuckles before pressed a gentle kiss to them. “But you have a place in my heart too. You always have. And Ah don’t want to lose you either.”
Leaning forward, Rogue sealed her apology with a tender kiss to his dry lips, lingering for a moment before laying down beside him and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes to listen to his still beating heart and rest.
“Please, come back to me, Erik. Ah miss you.”
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Rogue was unsure how long she had been asleep, but it was most needed given how she ad been ignoring her own basic needs for hours. She stirred slowly in bed, drawn from her restless slumber by the gentle sensation of fingers moving through her hair. At first, she thought she was dreaming. The touch was faint and unsteady, but there was something achingly familiar about it.
She shifted against the bed, blinking sleepily before lifting her head. She saw Erik still with his eyes remained opened, his face still pale beneath the faint light of sunset. He looked terribly exhausted, his breathing slow and the hand resting against her head barely had strength to move yet his fingers brushed through her hair once more, almost subtly.
“Erik?” She gasped, pushing herself upright in desperation to make sure none of this was a dream.
There was no response for a moment. He appeared that same as he always had been. Hen, at last, Erik opened his eyes. With some effort, he turned his head toward her, his gaze slowly finding hers. There they were. Those brilliant blue eyes. The ones Rogue knew by heart and the ones she feared she would never see again.
The young woman laughed in disbelieve until she broke into a sob. Before she could think better of it, she cupped his face between her hands and kissed him. Once. Twice. Thrice. She lost count.
She kissed every part of him. His forehead, his cheeks, the corner of his mouth, his neck, his chest, and finally his lips, each kiss led by another trembling laugh or fresh pills of tears. She needed to feel him beneath her hands, to know that he was warm, breathing, and here. After days of watching him lie motionless, feeling every fragile breath might be his last, the sight of his eyes opening felt like being given back o me thing she had begun to mourn.
“Oh, God, Erik.” She pressed her forehead to his, her hands trembling against his cheeks. “You’re awake. You finally awake. Ah never thought Ah would see you again.”
His lips curved into the faintest smile until it exhausted him. His eyelids dropped and he drew in a careful, steady breath before responding with a raspy voice. “Unless… I am having a peculiar dream… I believe I am.”
A teary laugh escaped her. “Don’t you dare joke with me right now, sugah.”
Her response made him faintly smile. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“You definitely would.” She lightly snorted, feeling all the weight she had been carrying for days be lifted.
“Maybe.” His thumb brushed really agaisnt her wrist. “But I suspect you would still forgive me nevertheless.”
Rogue shook her head, laughing through her tears, and then kissed him again. It was gentler this time and mindful of how little strength he had left.
Erik watched her through heavy-lidded eyes, his expression softening as he took in her tear-streaked face. Despite how lethargic his body was, he felt his strength regained from her kiss as though her touch was healing him.
The older man moaned gently and mustering all he could, he lifted his hand and settled it on her cheek once their lips departed from such a sweet kiss. He studied her features and he could see how tired she looked from the dark circles under her eyes, her hair disheveled, and her eyes glistening with relief and exhaustion.
Still, she looked beautiful, even with the light from the morning sun radiating behind her in a gentle glow.
His angel.
His anchor.
His thumb stroked her warm, rosy cheek, wiping away at a falling tear. “Rogue…”
“Shh.” She gently placed her fingers over his lips, gently smiling down at him. “Don’t talk. You may be awake right now, but you’re still not out of the woods yet. You gotta keep restin’.”
“There is something I—”
“Later.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Whatever it is, you can tell me later. We’ll have our chance to talk once you get your strength back. Right now, Ah just need ya to stay awake long enough for me to know you’re doin’ ok.”
His gaze lingered on her face. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but she was right. He could feel exhaustion already pulling at him as his eyes closed shut despite his efforts to keep them open.
Rogue leaned against the hand on her cheek, savoring his touch like a starved soul. “It’s alright, sugah. Just settle down. Ah’m here. Ah’m not goin’ anywhere.”
His fingers curled weakly against her skin, his thumb still stroking her cheek to reassure them both. “I know, meine Liebe. I can feel it from you.”
The endearment nearly broke her all over again. She brought his hand away from her cheek and leaned forward to kiss his knuckles as his eyes finally closed. This time she knew he was not slipping away from her. He was simply exhausted, his body slowly recovering from the fever that had nearly killed him.
Rogue stayed sitting there, stroking his hair until she moved her hand down to his cheeks and jawline, feeling the stubble growing from days of being ill. She might help him shave it off or he might decide to let it grow into a beard. Either way, he would still remain looking handsome.
Then, Rogue changed position and went back to laying her head against Erik’s chest, listening to his breathing and to the beating of his heart. She had spent so long believing that moving on meant leaving the past behind. Now she understood that some things did not remain in the past simply because one wished them to.
Some loves survived distance, heartbreak, and the loves one built without them. Some loves waited quietly, asking for nothing, until the moment one could no longer pretend they weren’t there.
Rogue looked at Erik, at the man she had loved and lost and somehow never entirely let go of. Maybe the universe was sending her a message, even after the pain and hardship.
But for now, she would stay beside the man her heart still didn’t let go of.