Chapter Text
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Light reflects from your shadow
It is more than I thought could exist
You move through the room
Like breathing was easy
If someone believed me…
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His head hurt like crazy and all the commotion from the streets was starting to become unbearable.
The sun was setting when they entered the bar. From time to time, the tones and shades of that period of the day reminded Munakata of Mikoto and he reminisced in the memories of their first meeting and Mikoto's smile. Those were memories he secretly cherished. Thinking about it always made him feel warmer so he tried to distract himself with his surroundings.
He noticed that, bathed in golden light, the bar looked more like a traditional and welcoming library. The bar's dark wooden counter was placed on the far end of the division and there were tables with comfortable chairs near the windows, as well as sofas. The minimal but cosy decoration had been chosen with care. He wouldn't admit it, but Kusanagi had made a superb job.
- Place him there, Mikoto. – said the owner, pointing to one of the sofas.
The redhead, who was holding an extremely dizzy Munakata, did so. The reason behind Munakata's state made Mikoto angry. That loser would have never done something so stupid if he had trained defensive basketball techniques with him. But no, the cocky little bastard chose to be stubborn and avoid it. Now, instead of paying a happy first visit to HOMRA and celebrate their victory, Mikoto was feeling more like a damn doctor in charge of his patient with a chronicle disease.
- Mikoto-san, I'll get a fresh towel. Kusanagi-san, do you have a kitchen? - Totsuka asked, dying to be helpful and acting busy.
Oh, he had a nurse to aid him too, Mikoto thought. Great.
Kusanagi Izumo had taken his righteous place behind the bar's counter and watched the scene with a certain amusement. Totsuka was exaggeratedly happy to finally be of some use to Mikoto, who was awfully annoyed by the whole situation. It had been a priceless moment though, Izumo recalled. Reisi couldn't put up a proper defence during the basketball tournament final match – to be honest, he couldn't do so during the whole tournament. However, he had done his very best. He tried to keep up with the biggest opponents in order to block their attacks and that was the reason why he ended up being hit by the ball on his head. It hadn't been on purpose but it made him stumble and fall, which made him hit with his head against the floor. After that, Munakata was quickly taken to the infirmary to be observed and get proper treatment. Thankfully it hadn't been nothing serious, but they didn't know it until the end of the game. Therefore, right after Reisi's fall, Mikoto punched the "bastard" who'd "aimed" the ball and threw it against Reisi. Needless to say, he was expelled and his face almost matched his hair colour due to anger but his team was able to maintain the upper hand and won.
Their high school team won the championship but Mikoto forgot about how much he had wanted the gold medal and fled to the infirmary. After that they ignored the celebration dinner they were supposed to have with their classmates and ended up taking Reisi to HOMRA.
- Yes, in the back, you can get there if you pass through that door. – seeing Totsuka oriented, he turned to the blonde who was sitting in front of him. – Won't you help Mikoto laying Reisi on the sofa, Seri-chan?
- I'm not needed.
Following Seri's gaze, Izumo looked at them. Reisi had his eyes closed and seemed like he had given in to his need of sleep, but Mikoto didn't believe that. He was determined to give Reisi a piece of his mind. For someone who bragged about his maturity he sometimes ended up acting like a dammed spoilt and irresponsible kid. If he didn't know how to catch the ball he should play safe and get out of the way. Two points were nothing when compared to his well being. Besides, what had made him change his mind to suddenly fight for victory, as if he had always cared about it?
Mikoto voiced his thoughts and scolded vehemently the black haired teenager, calling him irresponsible and stubborn. He also added "And stop pretending you're asleep, you snake, I know damn well you're not! So listen here, Munakata next time you decide to play hero at least TRAIN for it…" and so on.
Izumo chuckled. Mikoto was the reckless one, the one who didn't think of consequences. However, when the matter involved Reisi Munakata, he would completely change and turn into a weird hybrid of responsibility and care. When he had seen it for the first time, Izumo thought it was a creepy and weird transformation and it had been odd to get used to it. However, now he saw it in a different way. It wasn't something that came out of nowhere. No. It was a unique way of becoming mature. Mikoto wasn't just ranting and punishing, he was taking care of Munakata, the offended one, and lecturing him in order to guarantee that next time he won't get injured. He didn't do that with anyone else, but Izumo could finally see the noble values that were blooming inside of the redhead after years of unnoticed nourishment.
- I understand what you mean, it's like there's no gap between them.
- That concerns me. I'm not comfortable with it.
- Why not?
- I'm afraid they'll get irremediably close without noticing it. It might be fatal.
- Wouldn't you support them if that happened?- he asked with interest.
Seri thought about it for a moment. Munakata had been her first crush and she had always considered him extremely attractive. He had been a lone child up until the moment he met Mikoto. After that, his life changed completely. It was true that he still was her best friend but nothing has been like before. It had been difficult for her to overcome her jealousy and the spite she had felt for Suoh. It also took an unreasonable amount of time for her to acknowledge him. She did so because of Munakata, who had asked her to try because it was something important for him.
In all honesty, Seri had never considered that they could fall in love with each other simply because she'd never looked at them that way. However, things had changed at the beginning of the year and once she had noticed it, it was impossible not to notice it. They were, indeed, very close to each other. She had observed in secret and kept her opinion to herself, never gathering the courage to raise the issue in a casual conversation with Munakata. She had hoped that no one would notice it. However, Kusanagi decided to come back and now they were having this weird conversation.
Would she support them? To start with, despite all the situation, she didn't know if Munakata was gay. If that ended up being the case, the new information would take some time to sink in and it would bring him a ton of problems. For example, what would his parents think of it? And how was he going to deal with the situation? It would not be easy to deal with all of that but Seri was certain that she'd stand by Munakata's side through it all. She just wanted him to be happy and she'd help him fight for it, if that was what he wanted.
Looking at them made her heart clench. She had the feeling that none of them had yet really realized what was going on between them. Thinking of it, as much as she hated to admit it, if Munakata ended up falling for Suoh she'd find it... natural and logical. As natural and logical as its obvious and inevitable outcome.
She gulped.
As natural and logical as that, the inevitable outcome was also pretty obvious.
- That's not the issue.
- Then what is it?
-They are too different, Kusanagi. It's like fire and water…
- … without a definition line. You can't tell where one stops and the other begins.
Seri looked at him with irritation in her eyes.
- Stop being so cheap and cheesy. It's disgusting.
- Don't be so uptight.
- But doesn't it bother you? I've known Munakata for a long time and…
He interrupted her this time.
- No, but it's funny. I get the feeling that I'm staring at one soul that was split in two.
- Humpf – Seri felt disarmed and exhaled the air in her lungs as she rolled her eyes. Kusanagi was a lost case, but he was painfully right this time. If she detached herself from her emotions and biased point of view, she could clearly see that Munakata and Suoh really… mingled together. Nonetheless, they were both terribly prideful boys, it wouldn't work.
- C'mon, admit that you agree with me.
– Shut up. I'll only say this: I'll support Munakata no matter what.
- Talk about devotion – Kusanagi commented, smiling at her. Seri really was a fine young woman.
Totsuka returned shortly after, bringing a wet towel which was given to Mikoto. Only then did the redhead stop his reprimands and kneeled. Fighting stubbornly against the urge of acting neatly and with care, he placed the towel on Munakata's forehead. After that, he got up quickly and looked at Munakata's harmless frame. It was hard to deal with such a rare and innocent sight. It made Mikoto feel strange. He was used to Reisi's double personality, who was always on alert but covered it too well. However, this time he was just asleep but it still seemed like he was daring Mikoto to disturb him and inviting him to enjoy an unusual type of peace.
A sleep, innocent and defenceless Reisi, huh? As if.
Without wanting to think more about it, Mikoto sighed, deciding to ignore the situation and avoid the allure. He failed to conceal the acid in his words, though.
- Fine, sleep then, you liar.
Munakata heard the redhead walking away and, when he considered it to be safe, he secretly opened his eye a tiny little bit. He watched Mikoto reaching the counter and start a conversation with those who were already there. He was, indeed, a liar. But what else could he be? What else could he say?
Seeing Mikoto leave in that sun bathed ambience made him shine even more. Munakata had always noticed the little things, he had always been aware that Mikoto was different from everyone else. That was why he had always blocked his brain and forbade himself of thinking too much about it because he knew it was madness and nothing good would ever come from it. He'd never be able to shine like him... which meant that he'd never be capable of stand by him. Mikoto was so sincere and so straightforward, even when faced with hardships, that it made him feel envious. So, so envious that he felt ugly and ashamed. The redhead made everything seem so easy, so minimal and basic…
Could he believe that, in the end, it really was?
Of course not.
However, at least he believed in Mikoto more than in anyone or anything else. And he believed with such strength that it scared him.
They were so different. Ironically, Mikoto had a stability in his own way of living throughout life that Munakata lacked. Instead, he was insecure and unstable: from a second to another he could go from being the happiest to being the most displeased. He could snap and lose composure without a warning. It scared him. The possibility of losing control at the wrong time scared him. What could he say? What could he do to prevent it?
The permanent fear of coming clean about all these feelings made him grow stronger at hiding his many faces and present the world a false and secure lie. He was a liar, but at least he had managed to be someone who everyone thought was worthy of respect. It was true that being a respected person among students wasn't much, but it was enough to make him want to become the person everyone thought he was: tough, reliable, honest and inspiring (just like Mikoto, though no one seemed to notice it).
Could Mikoto teach him how to control his weaknesses and how to become genuine?
Would Mikoto be wiling to stop rescuing Munakata's ridiculous self and start to help him stand on his own?
He closed his eyes.
His selfishness made him feel sick.
Instead of wanting more, he should be grateful and appreciate how fortunate he was because someone like Mikoto existed and was his best friend.
Sometimes he wondered how could it be possible. How could someone like Mikoto even exist? Was it possible to get detached from his magnetic self? He wished he'd know how. He terribly did so. He'd have tried to think harder about a way if his headache hadn't gotten the best out of him. The bothersome pain lulled him to a heavy sleep.
From the counter, the group had him under surveillance as they talked casually. They laughed about the incident, expressed their worry about Reisi, mocked Mikoto for acting like a mum and complimented Kusanagi because the bar was cosy and nicely decorated. After that, the group decided to have some sandwiches for dinner and the rest of the night was spent on a relaxed ambience: Munakata slept all the way through it to regain his strength, Seri quarrelled with Kusanagi and Totsuka never gave up on falling on Mikoto's good side. They also discussed what should they do with Munakata and ended up deciding, after a heated argument, that the best for him was to spend the rest of the night at HOMRA, sleeping under Kusanagi's and Mikoto's care. When the time arrived, Seri and Totsuka thanked their host for the evening. To that, Seri added recommendations about how to take care of Munakata and a murderous threat to the one who'd dare to not put her instructions down to practice.
Enjoying the long awaited silence, Mikoto calmly finished his drink.
- You know… - Izumo started, slowly pouring himself the second whiskey – Your silent devotion is really from outer space. Pity that Reisi is too blind to see it.
Mikoto raised his eyes. The golden in them held a silent threat.
- I don't know what ya talkin' about.
- C'mon, it's only the two of us now. I think that today you finally understood what's going on.
- Shut up.
- Why don't you tell him? – Izumo insisted. Mikoto hadn't admitted it so far and had always tried to not think about it, but Izumo knew that he couldn't keep on ignoring the situation. Every single interaction between them, especially since the last month, was vertiginously converging to "the point of no return". All those quiet gazes, dumb misunderstandings, jealousy and irrational need of protecting... It was so obvious to his eyes that it hurt to watch. They were not children anymore and Izumo bet that, even though Mikoto was headstrong and fought against his feelings as hard as he could, deep down he was aware of it. He knew what was happening to him.
- I have nothing to tell him.
- Stop that. Ever since you've met, you've been like this. What's the problem? Are you ashamed of it? Of you or of him? Or do you lack courage?
- Shut the fuck up, dammit. - Mikoto hissed dangerously. He didn't have that kind of sweet, weak and vulgar feelings. He didn't have it.
- Why don't you admit it?
– I don't have any kind of feelings towards Reisi! - he answered harshly, clenching his fists.
- Then why do you behave like that?
- Like what?
- Like you care about him.
- But I do care about him!
- Why is that, then?
- That's because he... He's just too… clingy. Aa, that's it, I feel like a babysitter.
After inspecting every inch of Mikoto's relaxed and composed facial expression, Izumo felt irritated. What a stubborn big kid.
- Really? You're such an ass. Whatever. You can use the bedroom I told you about tonight.
- What? What about you?
- I'm going home, I grew tired of seeing your stupid tomato head.
Mikoto looked offended and incredulous. Was he supposed to spend the night alone with Reisi at HOMRA!? Izumo's next words dictated that was exactly what was going to happen.
- Take Reisi to that bedroom. There's a couch and a bed, so both of you can sleep there. And don't forget to lock the door. See you.
The redhead couldn't managed an answer before Izumo left the place. He was screwed, wasn't he? He put his hands on his waist and looked over the place. Eventually, his eyes fell over Reisi. He was soundly asleep, completely unaware of what had happened during the evening.
- Fuck. - Mikoto cursed his luck.
How did he end up in that mess? He didn't notice the moment things got out of hands, he couldn't precise when it all started to become so confusing. He just wanted to be there for Reisi and repay him his selfless act of generosity and courage from when they'd met. That had been the very first time he'd accepted the help of someone else. It had been very special to him. That was the reason why he went to such lengths in order to repay the gesture. However, at some point in time he wasn't trying to repay it anymore. Why has he given up of so many fucking things in order to bring a little bit life to Reisi's eyes and routine?
Why was Reisi so special?
Watching him every day when they were children had been something that gave hope to Mikoto. He wanted Reisi to be a constant certainty in his life. He wanted to make sure that Reisi could be his safe haven and knowing he actually had one made it possible to move on and surpass all the hardships that he had to overcome. He wasn't alone anymore. Aside from Izumo, he had gotten a best friend who offered friendship just because he wanted to and not because he was afraid of Mikoto punching him. Reisi's support and tough, sarcastic care had given Mikoto the strength to move on and to start going to school everyday.
He'd never forget how grateful he was for having noticed that unknown and peaceful expression through a shining glass of a classroom's window. He'd never forget that, thanks to that person, he'd found strength within himself to overcome another day.
Thinking about it... Although he didn't believe in religious crap, if people called him a devil, couldn't Reisi be a twisted angel?
Twisted, because he had changed since the first time they'd met. Reisi was so much more than a rich and spoiled little bastard…
Twisted, because he hadn't given up on Mikoto, no matter how many times the redhead had screwed up.
Reisi had always believed in him, even though he knew about some of his incorrect actions and had heard all the rumours that tainted his reputation. He had always dismissed anyone who'd badmouth Mikoto and would proudly and stubbornly stand by his side. Sometimes, when that happened, Mikoto would feel a pang in his heart. He didn't know when it had become painful to see Reisi do all that for him but... but he knew how grand Reisi could become and how high he'd be able to fly if Mikoto hadn't been there to hold him down.
Reisi was one of the top students with a brilliant future ahead of him while he was just… just... a thug.
It ached.
- Tsk – He glanced again at Reisi. That idea made him look even more like a stupid angel. He was a dammed twisted being that had appeared right in front of Mikoto out of nowhere and that was destined to leave him at some point.
Mikoto had been saved, but he was sure that (soon) he'd be doomed.
Yeah, that's what would happen.
It hurt. All of it hurt.
Realizing that Reisi was the only one he trusted enough to feel... hurt.
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