Chapter Text
So your brother is coming over. Whoop De Doo. This could be bad. Best to think about it later when you have the mental fortitude for such a thing. Sighing you serve up the tomato soup in 8 bowls and the vegetable beef in one. Taking three plates with a bowl of soup and a grilled cheese on each you step into the living room. “KIT! PUP! I MADE FOOD!” you announce. Placing the plates on the coffee table you wait to see if they will come eat.
Indeed the do eventually come, but slowly and like cautious animals. They sit on the couch in front of the coffee table and you sit opposite from them on the floor. They stare at you while you stare at them. “It’s not poisonous you know. I can cook food,” you tell them. They jolt at the sudden conversation but otherwise don’t move. Must be waiting for you to eat first to prove you aren’t lying. Shaking your head with a sigh you take a bite of your sandwich and a spoonful of soup and eat them. Hmmmmm the bread is kinda burnt, but that’s ok.
They still don’t move to eat. “Oh, my gosh, ok what do I need to say to get you two to eat?” you blurt in frustration. “Seriously even if I wanted to kill or poison you which I don’t I would have done that ages ago,” you say with a pout. Obviously, you need to break this tension that has developed. Tiny skeletons should not have to be this wary. They should just have to be children with no worries. Welp, they don’t call you Legendary Fart Master for no reason!
Slowly you bring your hand up to your mouth looking Kit dead in the eye with the blankest face and make the loudest fart sound you can. Glancing around quickly you ask “who did that!?” a stunned silence falls quickly followed by hidden chuckles. You almost let a grin slip but you wanna keep up the performance as long as possible. You bring your arm up to your mouth and make another fart sound. “There it is again!” you exclaim pretending to look around for the person making the noise.
Sans, Red, Blueberry, Kit, and Pup are trying so hard not to laugh. You take a stand then pretend to go looking behind random objects in the living room. Whenever your mouth is in sight you will bring your arm or hand up to it to make farting sounds. After 2 more loud arm farts, Kit and Pup start to laugh out loud. Which is quickly followed by the other skeletons in the room after a particularly long fart noise. Edge, Raspberry, and Error are all disgusted by your gross noises. Everyone else left a while ago. Wonder where they went?
This continues for a few more moments until your stomach growls and you realize how hungry you are. “Oof, ok uh parties over. Humans gotta eat ya know?” wandering back over to your plate you sit down and begin to practically scarf down the soup and sandwich. Kit and Pup seem to finally be relaxing and eat the soup and sandwich. They scarf it down just about as fast as you are. Which prompts the other skeletons to go get their own food that you made. They see you dipping your sandwich into your soup and some of them try it as well. It is pretty good after all.
There is relative silence as you all eat your food. When you check your phone you see you only have 4 and a half more hours till you need to head over to work. “Ok so we are all fed again yes? Or at least the people who wanted food anyway. And I need to go to work soonish, so I want you all to give me your phone numbers. This is a precaution in case something happens. Like oh, I don’t know, more skeletons falling out of my ceiling. Which is like cool? But I wish it would stop happening. We also need to find a place to set up the tents and a place for you to hide for the next few days.” they are all listening with various degrees of attention but stop you when you mention the hiding part.
“Why’d we need to hide?” Blueberry asked. Turning to him you wonder how he hadn’t heard that conversation with your brother.
“My brother is coming over tomorrow. It’s my birthday and I’m turning 21 finally, and it’ll mark the 4th year I’ve been living here. Being 21 also means alcohol. Uh in case you didn’t know, Humans need to be 21 before legally being allowed to drink any type of ale.” you explain. He nods and didn’t seem surprised about the ale thing. How does he know about that rule, but not about canned food? Weirdos.
“Hey wait, you said you’ve been living here for what 3 years and tomorrow will be the 4th? Wouldn't that make you 17 when you first moved? I thought humans needed to be 18 before they could live away from their guardians.” Sans observed. Seriously how do they know about these things but not about the canned food thing?
“How do you know that and not about canned food? Anyway, the jist of it is, my parents wanted to move away, and I didn’t. So I got emancipated and moved onto this property that we all inherited from my dead relative.” you pick up the dishes that are done including yours, and head into the kitchen. “My parents, and grandparents signed it over to me after I expressed that I wanted to live here. Not to hard to understand I’m shore,” you say as you start rinsing the dishes. And they weren’t going to do anything with it anyway, not after all the good memories here became too painful for them, but you have never really know the person who lived here last. How were they even related to you again?
“What’s emancimation?” Pup asked. Well at least someone is predictable in their lack of knowledge.
“Emancipation sweetie, and it’s when you petition the government to let you live on your own without grown ups because you can take care of yourself. To get permission to be emancipated you have to have a steady well paying job, permission from your parents, proof that you can handle your own funds, and a reason why emancipation would be good for you. My parents agreed to let me get emancipated if I was able to come up with all the other things that I needed for it, and now. Well here I am.” you explain while washing the dishes. It doesn’t take long to wash seeing as they only held a brothy soup and grilled cheese’s.
Horror walks into the room right then holding a frozen steak in his mouth and five strings of sausages in his hands. “Waffs goinf ahn?” he asks. Uh, what? You make a weird face obviously since he takes out the steak to put on the counter. “What’s going on?” oh yeah see? Makes sense.
“Just talking about stuff. Making farting noises. It’s my birthday tomorrow. All that good stuff” you say smoothly while also making space for him at the counter. He looks like he’s about to feed a small family when it’s probably only going to be him and Pine. Jeez, he really was hungry.
“Oh? Is it your birthday tomorrow? We should have a party then.” he says casually. The word need to spread faster about them hiding out tomorrow. Though a party after your brother leaves and it’s just you and the skeletons again might be nice.
“I’ll think about it. You not knowing about my brother brings up something important. He’s coming over tomorrow to celebrate with me and will prolly stay for a few days. It would prolly be bad for him to learn you guys were here so we should find somewhere to hide you all until he leaves.” you say just as casually. Horror tenses at this for a few seconds before coming to his own conclusion, and relaxing. “I was thinking the woods. This house is placed on around 100 acres or so of land and most of it is woods. The area that you all can see is around 10-15 acres that I use just for myself.
“You can see where the property ends by wondering around the forest. The North end runs into an abandoned rail road. The East end runs into a school for children, and the West end runs into another person's farmland.” you grimace at the mention of the farmer. “My family has had trouble with him for a few years. Every year he tries to move his property line into my land enough so I won’t notice and he can plant just that much more plants. Fucking property thief.” you grumble. Turning to look at the skeletons you see them giving your strange looks. I guess property thieves aren't really their business anyway. “Er uh, and of course the south ends in the 10-15 acres that you can see here.” you finish.
“Why d’ya think the forest would be good?” Red asks.
“Well I have some treehouses in there somewhere, and no one goes in there since it’s all sorta untamed forest. I used to wonder around in there all the time before I tripped and sprained my ankle pretty bad once… or twice…. Ok, maybe it was a few dozen times! I like taking walks in the forest. It’s nice to get away from it all without actually being away from it all. You know?” you express. Perhaps you should take another walk sometime? It would be nice.
“Snowdin was sorta like that for us I think. A place we could go to be away from it all without being really away.” Red says. You make a noise of assent as you finish rinsing the dishes.
Guess It’s time to ask where everyone else is and get a meeting started on what you’re going to do about hiding and sleeping. Especially since you brother coming over means, he will be using the guest room. Wonder where they are. “Hey yeah where is everyone else? We need to talk about this hiding business.”
Sans chuckles “Oh them? They’re all wandering around outside. I think my bro and Stretch are in your computer room. He found you universes internet to be very entertaining. Especially your uh music? There was one song he found while browsing. Mom's spaghetti or something.” as soon as he said Mom’s spaghetti you burst out laughing.
“Oh, my GOAD NOOOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnngh. Ah oh my. GOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAD TOO FUNNY! Hah ha gahah. Ahhahh, Papyrus has discovered memes. Tis a dark day indehehehehed” you were smiling even as you walked over to your computer room to tell Papyrus and Stretch about hiding.