Chapter Text
Kenichi stopped sprinting as soon as the man he was following dramatically dropped on the ground. He looked at the woman who attacked the man. “Mami!” Kenichi called happily, recognizing his mother. He skipped towards her and gave her a warm hug, which she returned with a loving pat on the head.
Kagura, now a 26-year-old beauty, stepped on Sougo’s torso with her pointy high-heeled shoe digging on her victim’s clothes as a form of victory pose. She smirked conceitedly. “That’s what you get for trying to kidnap my cute son, bastard.”
When she took a closer look at him, she realized who her unfortunate victim was. Memories rushed through her head rapidly, both good and bad ones. “Wait. You’re…”
“… Sougo! Oh no! We were too late!” Kondo cried out from the patrol car that just screeched to a stop close to them.
The two Yatos turned their heads to look at the three newly arrived police officers, who just stepped out of the car to see if their sadistic companion was still alive. Kagura removed her foot from Sougo’s chest and crossed her arms over her voluptuous chest as Harada (who was the root cause of all of this), Kondo and Hijikata kneeled next to the unconscious sandy-haired man. “I never heard he’s coming back today,” said Kagura impassively as she shifted her weight on one leg.
Hijikata clenched his fists to calm himself down because he felt that he was gravely responsible for this adverse encounter. “Y-Yeah. We we’re planning to tell everyone in a reunion,” he replied as he watched Kondo fussing over Sougo.
“Oh…” Kagura cleared her throat awkwardly. “Who would’ve thought that he would become a kidnapper.”
“You’re wrong!” Kondo screamed exaggeratedly, snot dangling from his nose like Tarzan, “You’ve got it all wrong, China-girl! This man is innocent!”
Kagura looked confused. “But Mayora said that—”
“It was a mistake,” Hijikata confessed, standing up and facing her properly. “False alarm.” He seriously wanted to slap Harada for his stupidity. How could he not recognize the man he knew for so many years?! Then again, the mayo-man was also at fault.
Kagura’s brow twitched. “You disturbed my work for this?!” she pointed towards the fainted man and stomped her feet. “Do you know that I have to arrange a lot of things before customers come in tonight?!”
“Yeah, yeah. I apologize for that.” Hijikata shifted his gaze to Kenichi who was clutching Kagura’s Chinese dress. “Why don’t you tell us what really happened, Kenichi? And why were the two of you playing tag in the middle of the street?”
“We weren’t playing tag. I was following him around,” Kenichi answered truthfully.
“Why were you following him?” It was Kagura’s turn to ask.
“Because I found out that he’s Mami’s former classmate. I have to make sure he doesn’t have any special relationship with her,” the child said after a few moments of hesitation. “D-Did I do something bad…?” he asked downheartedly.
Hijikata and Kagura paused and stared at Kenichi’s puppy-dog eyes for a while before letting out a long, deep breath of resignation in unison. Kagura squatted down and patted her son’s head with an affectionate and considerate smile. “No, you didn’t. You were a very good boy.”
Kenichi grinned widely like a child his age would and cuddled Kagura. Kagura wrapped her arms around her son and carried him as she stood up. She looked at Hijikata and voiced out her complaint, “What do you tax robbers plan on doing now? You can’t arrest me since this is your fault in the first place.”
“Yeah I know. We’ll just bring him to the station and get him treated there.” Hijikata scanned Sougo and saw where the damage was. Namely, his throat. “What did you do to him? It looks as if he was strangled by a grizzly bear.”
“Hmph!” Kagura simply walked back to her workplace with Kenichi still in her arms. Kenichi watched the unconscious man with uncertainty until they were out of sight.
Sougo instantly identified the woman who had violently attacked him. They used to be together most of the time during their youthful years. They never got along but at the same time they knew and understand each other better than most people close to them. She knew how he thinks of things and vice versa. That mutual understanding was the reason why they always fought. He believed that a person loathes the person most similar to him because he sees his negative traits on him.
Seeing those blue orbs at the last second before everything turned black triggered every memory he had with her. He hadn’t seen that shade of blue eyes for seven years. Strangely, he didn’t miss it. He thought he would, but he didn’t.
His chest didn’t even jump in excitement seeing her.
Why, he wondered.
Then her son’s face entered his mind. He concluded that the child was the primary reason he didn’t miss her. In fact, he felt as though he didn’t even want to see her anymore. She already had a family of her own. There was no room for him anymore. She was happy.
His body involuntarily twitched. Full consciousness finally kicked in and he felt a sharp pain on his throat. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the white fluorescent light on the equally-white ceiling. His vision cleared and he wondered where on earth he was.
He looked around, seeing he was lying on a blue couch. He saw a computer on top of an office desk across him and a bookshelf on the corner of the room. There was also a pot of plant next to it and a foldable chair propped on the wall next to the door. He sat up and rubbed his aching neck. Frankly, he marveled how he was still alive after that vicious attack. He basically lost oxygen with what she did.
When his eyes landed on the door—as if on cue—a person walked in holding a bowl of Katsudon covered in mayonnaise. No wait, scratch that. It should be called a bowl of mayonnaise with bits of food in it instead.
“I see you’re awake. How’s your day?” Hijikata strode to his desk and sat on his chair. He dropped the bowl of dog food on his desk and stared at him.
“Can’t complain,” Sougo answered while stretching his back. He sat up properly and eyed the bowl of dog food with disgust. “Don’t tell me you’re going to feed me that dog food?”
Hijikata split his chopsticks in half and began eating his bowl of food à la mayonnaise. “Nah, man. This one’s for me. Your dog food’s over there.” The Demonic Vice-Commander pointed to a tray of food that was on the floor next to the couch.
“… No thanks,” he said, seeing that it was a tray of mayonnaise rather than a tray of food. “But you just admitted that mayonnaise is dog food there, didn’t you?”
Hijikata immediately changed the topic. “I thought Yamazaki was going to bring you here at the station to see us after you meet in your apartment? What happened to that good-for-nothing bastard?” he asked while gobbling down his comfort food.
“He was eager on evading my questions so he made up an excuse and worked at Katsura’s ramen restaurant and left me.”
“Tsk. That coward.”
The door flew open and Kondo came in looking for Sougo. A huge smile spread on his face after seeing that Sougo was awake and looking well. “I’m so happy you’re all right! I was so worried about you!” He playfully locked his arms around Sougo and gave him a fatherly pat on the head. “Everyone misses you! They’re raring to go here so they could see you!”
Sougo admitted that he missed Kondo-san’s paternal affection and unknowingly, a smile spread across his face amidst the gorilla’s suffocating hug. “I missed everyone, too,” he choked.
“That’s great! We actually hosted a reunion party for you this weekend! Everyone’s going to come, even our teachers from Gintama High!” an enthusiastic Kondo said. He finally released Sougo from his bear hug.
“Wow. Even Ol’ Matsudaira?”
“Yup! That DOM still chases after girls in miniskirts!” Kondo joked with a wholehearted laugh.
“Speaking of chasing after girls, it seems you’re still getting along with China even after all these years of no communication whatsoever,” spoke Hijikata out of the blue.
“You call her almost killing me ‘getting along’?” said Sougo sarcastically.
“That’s how you two always act when you were in high school, so it’s still a healthy relationship!” Kondo said positively. “But seriously, I never thought that you would meet her son this early. To be honest, we were trying not to let you meet him until the reunion party.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I have already met him. He’s exactly like China. I won’t be surprised if he could already carry a bulldozer at his age,” replied Sougo. Then, his gaze dropped on the tiled floor and thought of asking Hijikata-san and Kondo-san about China’s husband. He hesitated with a sigh.
Hijikata dropped his now-empty dog food bowl and chopsticks on his desk. As if reading the sandy-haired man’s mind, he asked, “You want to know who Kenichi’s father is?”
Instead of acting surprised, Sougo closed his eyes knowingly. He really couldn’t hide anything from these two, could he? He slowly nodded his head and waited for their answer.
“Sougo, what would you do when you find out who he is?” Kondo asked, looking a bit worried.
“Nothing. I won’t do anything. I just want to know who the unlucky bastard is,” Sougo responded as he leaned back on the couch. He knew he was still not ready on hearing about the man who made a family with China, but there are things in life that had to be known, even if it hurts.
“Well then, let me just tell you that he’s someone you don’t know.”
Sougo would have breathed out a sigh of relief had he not suppressed it.
Kondo and Hijikata looked at each other for a while, as if talking through their minds. Their unspoken agreement ended when they both stood up and headed for the door, gesturing for Sougo to follow them. The youngest one in the room, confused at first, obliged and followed them to a police car (that was not wrecked) and silently let them drive him to an unknown place.
“Where are we going? Hijikata-san? Kondo-san?” he asked as he noticed that the farther they go, the fewer people were on the streets.
“We’re going to let you meet China—I mean Kagura’s—husband,” Hijikata said with a casual puff of smoke.
Taken aback, Sougo’s body stiffened. He didn’t want to meet her husband; he just wanted to know who he is! He was not ready for this! “W-Wait! Kondo-san, I—”
“It’s best if you meet him and find out his name on your own instead,” Kondo declared, giving him a reassuring smile.
Sougo, if he was an M and suicidal, would have jumped off the car right then and there. But he wasn’t, so he didn’t. He only let out a heavy sigh of defeat and slumped back on the backseat of the car. “Fine.” He trusted his two companions—mostly Kondo-san—so he just let the two do whatever they think was right.
About half an hour of discomfiting silence later, they arrived at a secluded area Sougo knew was familiar. Hijikata parked the car near the entrance of the city graveyard.
The three stepped out of the police car and upon seeing where they were, Sougo’s eyes shot up. “Kondo-san…Hijikata-san…don’t tell me…”
The two nodded their heads.
Sougo looked at both of them in the eyes. “China’s husband is a gravedigger?”
Hijikata bumped Sougo’s head and scolded him. “Don’t act dumb! Come on!” The raven-haired man hauled Sougo inside the graveyard.
The whole place was silent. They only saw two people visiting their deceased loved ones there. The three passed several tombs until they finally reached the middle, where the person he was supposed to meet lay underground. That person’s gravestone looked fairly new and well-maintained. Sougo absorbed the name engraved on the gravestone.
What a common name. He first thought.
“China-girl’s husband passed away two years ago. He didn’t even get the chance to attend Ginpachi-sensei’s wedding since he was bedridden that time,” Kondo said with a distant smile.
“His body was pale and sickly in the first place so it was no surprise when he collapsed one day.” Hijikata paused to take a smoke. “Yet we have never seen him stop smiling.”
“He was very optimistic. Even though he was sick, his smile always brightens everyone’s day. I kinda miss that smile of his.” Kondo watched the tree next to the gravestone. “There was one thing he regretted though.”
“Let me guess.” Sougo sat across the gravestone, not caring if his pants would get dirty, and reached an arm to brush his hand against the letters engraved on the cold stone. “He regretted being unable to stay with his family.”
“No, Sougo. That wasn’t it,” Kondo corrected. Sougo looked at him curiously. “The thing he regretted was not meeting you.”
The news undeniably stunned the sandy-haired sadist. He blinked, unsure of what to do or say.
“He heard lots of stories about you from China and…erm… some of us,” Hijikata mumbled the last part and awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Why did he want to meet me?” asked Sougo curiously.
“Hmm… maybe he likes you?” Kondo guessed unsurely, giving him a knowing smile all the way.
“Oh.” The youngest one in the group looked back on the gravestone in front of him. “Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, can you two please give us a minute?” he asked the two without looking at them. The two complied and left him alone. They returned to where they parked the police car to patiently wait for him.
Sougo rested his head on the palm of his hand while he settled his elbow on his knee. As casual as he could, he greeted, “I’m Okita Sougo. Nice to meet you.”
“I’m… I’m China’s… your wife’s rival. And also… your rival, too. I guess,” he added.
“Why did you want to meet me?” he asked, hearing no answer from the other party. He smirked to himself. He should be frightened if the other party did give him an answer. Dead people could no longer speak. “I don’t know you. I’ve never met you. But, do you think we’ll get along if we meet each other?”
He closed his eyes as his lips tugged upward unknowingly. “Did you want to meet me before you died because you wanted to make sure that they will be in safe hands? Did you think I’ll be able to make her happy when you’re gone? Do you really trust a stranger that much? You only knew me from stories told by others. I’m a sadistic jackass who prioritizes myself more than anyone. I tend to plan Hijikata’s death on a daily basis. I am not scared of traumatizing anyone physically or mentally. I loved playing with people’s emotions… I am not capable of making anyone happy but myself.”
“If you think that I’ll be able to make her happy, then let me break it to you,” Sougo inhaled and continued, “I don’t.”
He opened his eyes as he proceeded on speaking. With a cocky smirk, he said, “I don’t plan on making a promise with you. You’re a stranger and a dead person. Heck, I feel like I’m crazy talking to a person who no longer exists, especially someone I had never met before. But…
… I want to thank you for trusting me.”
“I don’t need your thanks.”
Sougo looked up, startled, at the sudden disembodied voice that spoke to him as the wind howled.
“I need you to love them.”
He was sure he was getting crazy.
Kenichi swung his legs playfully while sitting atop the bar table inside his Mami’s part-time workplace. The kind lady behind the table allowed him and sometimes even played with him when she was free. He was told she used to be her Mami’s classmate, too. She had long braided green hair and expressionless red eyes. He wondered how this sweet lady fell in love with the plain-looking Yamazaki. Or was she really? It was hard to decipher her blank look.
“Isn’t it getting too late? Shouldn’t you be going home?” asked Tama, the robot maid.
“I’m going home when the bar opens.” Kenichi took out a small box of sukonbu.
“I heard you were almost kidnapped. Is that true?” Tama asked emotionlessly as she continued wiping the wine glass she was holding with a white cloth.
The young boy thought back earlier when he was trying to annoy the sandy-haired stranger. “No, but I don’t think he’s a good guy after all,” replied Kenichi as he looked down on his swinging feet.
A small curve of a smile met Tama’s face. It was almost unrecognizable. “Why do you think so?” She pretended to be as casual as she could about it.
The two were suddenly enveloped in silence. The young boy was racking his brains on why he thought the sadist man was not a good guy. He didn’t like to sound shallow, but unfortunately, his reason was shallow. “… He’s in love with Mami.”
Tama suppressed an incoming chuckle. Unlike his mother, Kenichi was observant; a trait she was sure he got from his father. “Is that the only reason he’s a bad person?”
Kenichi turned his body around slightly to look directly into Tama’s face. He looked ready to defend his reasons. “He’s really rude, too! And Mami, and Mayora, and Gorilla all look friendly with him! I don’t like it!”
“If those kind people like him, don’t you think he’s a good person?” Tama said with a soft smile.
The young boy stuttered a response in a loud, panicked voice. “T-That makes me not like him even more!”
“Kenichi, don’t raise your voice like that.”
The young boy and Tama both turned to look at where the voice came from. The reprimand sounded almost threatening. Shimura—no, Kondo Tae stood on the doorframe with a smile both Kenichi and Tama knew was fake.
“S-Sorry, Anego,” Kenichi mumbled as he slowly slid down the bar table and landed on his two tiny feet.
“What are you two talking about anyway?” Otae asked as she approached them.
“Kenichi was talking about his kidn—” the robot maid started but stopped when Kagura’s son warningly waved his arms around in panic.
Otae, in turn, gave her full attention back at the child, wondering what it is he didn’t want her to find out. “Does this have something to do with my idiot gorilla of a husband?” she asked.
Kenichi forced a smile. “N-No, Anego!”
She stepped forward, threateningly. “Is that so?”
Sweat began forming on the boy’s forehead. “Y-Yes!”
A full minute of tensed silence followed after, and both Tama and Kenichi knew better than to test the smiling lady’s temper. Otae later giggled while covering her mouth with her hand. She patted the young boy’s head and said, “Okay, I believe you. But remember,” she leaned her head closer to whisper, “if ever you know something that Isao does not want me to find out, you tell me.”
Kenichi nervously nodded his head repeatedly.
“Great!” Otae clapped her hands together as she stood straight. “Now, don’t disturb Tama while she’s working. We’re going to open in five minutes. Run along now. Kids aren’t allowed in here. Say your goodbyes to your mom before going home. She’s at the back.”
The boy watched as Anego turned into a corner and disappeared, along with her evil smile and threatening mood. His Mami also have that mood, especially when it’s time for her shift. Working for Otose for years must have influenced her.
Kenichi wondered, as he was walking home, what would his Papi do if he were still here. He was only three years old when the man he admires the most passed away. Though he didn’t really understand what passing away mean, he assumed it meant he left for some place and won’t be returning in a really long time.
“Take good care of your Mami for me, please.”
Those were the last words he heard his Papi spoke. What place did he need to go to that badly that he had to leave Mami behind?
Without realizing it, tears were starting to form on his eyes. “Papi… why did you leave us?” he mumbled as he tried to suppress a sniffle.
“Maybe he found a bunch of sexier women on wherever he is now.”
Kenichi turned his head around and saw the sadistic kidnapper he encountered earlier. “Mami is the sexiest woman alive!”
“Did your mom force you to say that or something?” Sougo teased as he patted Kenichi’s head once.
“Don’t touch me!” Kenichi’s previously forlorn demeanour quickly changed into aggravation.
After meeting Kagura’s deceased husband, Sougo went back to the parked police car where he explained to his waiting companions his newly found resolve. No, it wasn’t the disembodied voice that influenced him on his decision. It was the child that the disembodied voice left behind. AndProbablyChinaButThatIsNotThePoint.
The mother and son duo were still hurting and he knew only he could save them from the emptiness the father left behind. Sougo wasn’t trying to fill it. Only the father would be able to fill it. He also wasn’t trying to be the replacement. Rather, he was going to create a new place where only he could fill in their hearts.
As the sadist stared into the younger one’s frustrated blue eyes, he knew his decision was on the right track.
“Why are you here? How did you find me?” Kenichi demanded as he posed into a fighting stance.
“I wasn’t looking for you.” The sandy-haired sadist pointed towards the general direction of Kagura’s workplace. “I was on my way over to see China-girl.”
The young child’s mind went blank. When Sougo noticed Kenichi’s sudden pause, he decided on ignoring him and advanced towards Otae’s bar. But he was stopped when Kenichi pulled the hem of his sleeve. “Papi…”
“What?”
Kenichi was crying once more. “Papi is going to come back! So please… don’t take Mami away!”
Sougo didn’t fail to hear the desperation in the innocent child’s voice. How was he supposed to explain to the five-year-old the concept of death? He exhaled and told him in his most monotonous voice, “I met your father just now. He isn’t going back. He’s in a place where no one could return from.”
Kenichi clenched his fist. “Liar! Papi is going to return! He only told me to take care of Mami! He didn’t say he wasn’t going to come back! He is coming back! Mami is lonely without him! I’M LONELY WITHOUT HIM! HE KNOWS THAT, THAT’S WHY HE’S GOING TO COME BACK!”
Non-stop tears rolled down the child’s eyes. For once, Sougo felt pity towards him. He wouldn’t be able to truly understand what the child was feeling, but he could slightly empathize with him. After all, he lost his parents when he was about the same age. Both Sougo and Kenichi were lucky that during those hard times, they had Mitsuba and Kagura respectively.
And now… he would be the Kondo in Kenichi’s life.
Kagura’s brows twitched. This isn’t happening. Oh, this is NOT happening.
Sougo—who had an annoyingly fake innocent smile on his face—and Kenichi—who obviously just finished crying—arrived as customers of Anego’s bar, urging her to bring them to a table.
Kagura, trying so hard to remain calm, assisted them to an empty table on the corner of the bar.
“Kenichi is not allowed here.”
“He’s with adult supervision.”
“Why is my son crying?”
“He was so inspired by me, he couldn’t help it.”
“I’m seriously suing you.”
“Not when I’m directly connected to the police.”
“I’m connected to a politician.”
“You mean the Prime Minister’s sister?”
Kagura slammed a hand on Sougo’s table. It cracked a bit, Sougo noted. “Leave.”
Sougo teasingly grabbed a handful of Kagura’s hair and gently pulled on it. “Make me.”
The tension inside the bar was getting heavier. The two’s heated rivalry were being reawakened. In a bar.
Chaos was definitely going to ensue.
“You should be thankful. Your poor son is crying on the streets, and, being the kind person that I am, decided on bringing him back to his mother.” Sougo patted a hand over Kenichi’s head, who suspiciously remained silent. “What kind of mother lets her son go home alone at this time of night?”
“How I raised my son is none of your business, you sadistic bastard!” Kagura slapped away Sougo’s hand that was still holding her hair. “Kenichi! Tell me what happened! You were fine a few minutes ago. Did this sadistic devil make you cry?”
“You mean ‘devilishly handsome sadist’?”
“Shut up!”
“I’m telling the truth. Kenichi’s crying because he—OWWW!” Sougo immediately held his aching spleen. The attacker, Kenichi, continued on sulking as if he didn’t do anything. “Damn brat!”
“Kenichi…” Kagura held out a hand to her son and tried to caress him but he just rudely slapped her hand away.
He never did this before. Was this… what Gin-chan called ‘The Rebellious Phase’?
Kagura inwardly panicked. She pulled Sougo’s hair violently and immediately pushed the blame on him. “What did you tell my son you useless son of a bitch?!”
In retaliation, Sougo also pulled her hair, although much less violent than her. “I only told him things you should have explained to him a long time ago!”
She pulled harder. “The hell you talking about?”
He pulled harder. “You can’t even do your parenting right! I’m here to show you how it is done, dumbass!” he yelled.
No words were exchanged afterwards. Only fists and kicks. Soon after, the bar was in chaos, and oddly enough, Otae wasn’t stopping it. If anything, she looked entertained.
“How nostalgic, isn’t it?” Tama told Otae.
“Indeed.” The brunette said with a smile.
Tables and chairs flew. Bottles of champagne and wine were smashed on walls. Panicked customers were running for the door. And aside from the bar staff and the two causes of the commotion, only two people were left on the store.
Kagura clawed her nails on Sougo’s face. Sougo hit Kagura’s jaw with an uppercut. Both of them were doing these out of instinct. A wash of nostalgia hit them as they continued on attacking each other. It wasn’t a good kind of nostalgia, and strangely, it wasn’t the bad kind either.
It was only when a flying green bottle of wine hit the back of Sougo’s head did the two finally stopped.
The interference came from the direction of the last customers who courageously stayed on the bar. Kagura and Sougo immediately recognized them.
“The hell’s this commotion about? Huh?!” An annoyed silver-haired man threateningly held another bottle of unopened wine and waved it in the air. “It’s so noisy, I can’t even hear myself thinking!”
“Gin-chan!”
“Danna!”
Hasegawa, who was hiding under the booth they were sitting on, peeked his head out. “I-Is the fight over?”
“If you guys are fighting about how parenting is done right, don’t do it in front of the child!” Gintoki angrily strode towards the fighting couple and pulled them apart. “I haven’t slept properly in a year. I hear baby cries every goddamn two hours. TWO HOURS. This is the only time I could relax. Do you know the sacrifice I made just so I could have this night out? I PROMISED MY WIFE I WON’T EAT PARFAIT FOR A MONTH JUST TO HAVE THIS NIGHT. JUST SO I COULD GET AWAY FROM THE CURSE OF THE CRYING BABY! THIS ONE NIGHT. JUST ONE NIGHT.” He shook the two violently (desperately). “GIVE ME BACK MY ONE NIGHT OF FREEDOM, YOU DUMBASSES!”
Sougo and Kagura just punched him simultaneously in the face.
“Disgusting,” Kagura started, “You left your wife alone with the cursed crying baby for the whole night?”
“You left the poor wife just to drink with a worthless Madao. That is not how parenting is done,” Sougo said with a disgusted look on his face.
Gintoki stood straight up, nose bleeding, and pointed to a corner where Kenichi was emitting dark auras. “No. That is not how parenting is done!”
Kenichi remained silent as he hugged his knees closer to his chest. He doesn’t even care anymore. He just found out his Papi left forever. Death took his father from him. Papi… is never going to come back.
“Death, huh?” he mumbled under his breath.
Sougo and Kagura paled.