Chapter Text
Jeremy stood up, eyes glued to the squip, staring him down. The squip just smiled like it'd been meeting up with an old friend.
"Hey, I'm...gonna go to the bathroom real quick," Jeremy said slowly. Before he even gave Christine a chance to answer, he rushed out of the room and practically sprinted to the bathroom, going inside and slamming the door behind him, locking it too.
Though he half wished he'd outrun it, he knew he didn't. His squip was standing behind him, examining Jeremy through the mirror. That same, self satisfied smirk as it eyed Jeremy up and down, silently judging every part of him, the same way it did all those months ago.
Well, the first thing we're doing to do, it said, is we're going to burn that shirt so you can never wear it again. I thought you'd outgrown it.
Jeremy felt his hands ball into fists. No. This was not going to happen again. He was not going to go through this again. He just started to get his life the way he wanted it.
"No," Jeremy said. His voice was surprisingly firm. "I'm not going to do this again."
The squip chuckled. Do what? What you wanted?
"You are not what I want."
You signed up for me Jeremy. I have a lifetime guarantee.
What could he say to make this thing go away? He thought of Christine waiting for him in his room. "Well, I don't need you anymore. I have Christine. People like me now, my dad is my dad again, and Michael and me are best friends. I have everything you were supposed to help me with. So I don't need you."
The squip's smile faded into an annoyed frown. You don't need me? Jeremy, take a look at yourself.
He looked at himself in the mirror and took in his appearance.
"Wh... What's wrong with me?"
The squip shook its head, as if disappointed. You look just like you did before you had me. Pathetic. It's like you never even had a squip.
His shirt. It was wrinkled, re-worn and in desperate need of a wash. Though, it wasn't from him nervously sweating as he pondered which way to take to school. It was dirty because he and Michael went out to lazer tag yesterday, and while he dominated Michael's team, he went home with a sweaty as hell shirt.
His hair was a mess, and could definitely use a trim. But that wasn't because he was afraid that if he *did* cut it, everyone would hate it. He was growing it out because Chloe had convinced him to shave his hair on the sides and dye the top part (a color that Christine would have the honor of picking out). It was messy from the open windowed ride home.
He looked tired: his eyes had bags under them. But that was because he and the gang decided to start working out at the local gym. Every morning, he, Christine, Michael, Jenna, Jake, Rich, Brooke, and Chloe would all team up at seven in the morning (if it was a school day, then they'd do it after school ended), and they'd work out together. Sometimes they had competitions to see who could run faster on the treadmill, or who could bench the most weight (Jeremy could run fastest, while Rich could bench the most). He was still an introvert at heart, so all the constant chatting and working out--while he was in a great mood by the end--left him exhausted.
The squip was right. He did look the same. But it wasn't the same at all. He looked this way for completely different reasons. Not anxiety or sadness, but excitement and joy. He was the Jeremy Heere he wanted to be.
"I don't need you," Jeremy said, shaking his head. "All you do is make things worse."
Are you sure it wasn't you who made things worse in the first place?
Jeremy looked confused.
The squip slowly paced back and forth across the bathroom floor. Jeremy turned from the mirror and watched him as he spoke.
Think about this Jeremy. Who made the decision to buy a squip? Who decided to be with Brooke, knowing that you'd only abandon her the moment Christine acknowledged your existence? Who was the one who squipped Jenna, which in turn, led to everyone else in your precious little drama club being squipped? If it weren't for the hoodie wearing pain-in-my-ass, the entire school would be squipped by now, because it wasn't like you were going to do anything.
"You made me do all those things!" Jeremy yelled. Someone could probably hear him now. He hoped his dad was downstairs making dinner. Jeremy almost forgot that he could just think at it instead of actually talking. "I admit, I did buy you, but everything else? That was you! That wasn't me. I would've never chosen to do all those things if it weren't for you."
Oh really?
"Yes! Really!"
The squip tilted its head to the side, eyes narrowing in the way they used to before it was about to prove Jeremy wrong. So, was it me who chose to call Michael a loser?
"I--" Jeremy started to protest, but he stopped. The party. He'd been drinking, so the squip wasn't working right. It was off when he talked to Michael in the bathroom that night.
The squip smiled triumphantly at Jeremy's recollection. Yes. There you go. You remember. That night, you were so consumed by your own ego, that you called Michael, your supposed best friend, a loser. You made him cry, you know that? You left him all alone in that bathroom, at a party where he didn't know anyone. Anyone but you. And you left him there.
Jeremy stared at the bathroom floor, feeling his ears go hot. "It wasn't something I'd do on purpose," he mumbled.
But you did do it on purpose. I can see it in your memory as we speak. The word "loser" in your head moments before you said it out loud. You meant it.
"I didn't mean it. Michael knows I didn't mean it."
Does he?
"What do you mean?" Of course Michael knew that. It was a moment of weakness, frustration. He was drunk, he'd just got done being forced into making out with Chloe, he had been chased by Jake, and he felt miserable. Michael was drunk too, and lonely, and already sad. Neither of them were in a good state.
Michael knew he didn't mean it.
Right?
Maybe he's lying to you, is what I mean. The squip stepped closer, inches from Jeremy's face. Maybe he secretly resents you for it.
Jeremy pushed him away. "He does not. He'd have told me if he still had an issue with it."
How do you know that?
"Because, I do!"
The squip shook its head. No, you don't. I can sense your doubt from here. You're not sure.
Jeremy grimaced at the ground, angry at himself. Because it was right. Goddamnit. It was right.
It smiled. Of course it knew what Jeremy was thinking.
"I got rid of you," he said in a small voice. The image of the Mountain Dew red was clear in his mind. "I got rid of all of you."
The squip clicked its tongue. You thought you did. You were in control for a while. But now?
It leaned in close, and it whispered right in his ear.
I'm the loudest voice.