Chapter Text
"Okay, Stark. What do you have? Who do we prank first?" Loki asked as they drank coffee in the living room.
"I was thinking we do them all in the same time period." Tony replied.
"How are we supposed to do that?" Loki yelled, spilling his latte all over the rug.
"Really?! Pepper just bought that rug! She's going to blame me and then ban me from the lab for a week!"
"Sorry." Loki shrugged. "Not my problem. I have, however, figured out a way for us to mentally communicate. I can only last a few hours though."
"Great! That's all we need. I was thinking you stage an attack on New York. When the Avengers come to stop you, establish the mental connection. I'll tell you what to do then."
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"They will be back in 3... 2... 1..." Just as the elevator doors opened to reveal who's inside, the god disappeared in a puff of green smoke. "Hey, guys! How was breakfast?"
"Boring! Nothing interesting at all happened. I hope the rest of today isn't like this." Clint responded.
"Yes, Sir. We'll be right there." Natasha said in to her cellphone.
"What's the problem, Natasha?" Steve asked, already moving to grab his shield.
"Loki's attacking New York again. Directer Fury wants us to go handle it immediately. No briefings."
"Yes! Finally some action!" Clint yelled as he pumped his fist in the air.
"Suit up, Avengers!" Captain America said. "Let's go deal with a god."
As soon as they got within hearing distance, Loki set up the mental connection.
What do you want me to do? Loki said mentally. As soon as he said that, Tony relayed his entire plan to the god of mischief in full detail.
That sounds great! I'll see what I can do. Loki replied, ending the connection.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Motley Crew!" Loki mocked as they approached him.
"Loki!" Yelled Thor. "Stop this at once!"
"No, I don't think I will, Odinson. In fact, you can all say hello to my army of poptarts!" Loki said just as poptarts started appearing and advancing on the group.
"Poptarts! Have you come to make friend with this world?" Thor asked excitedly.
"I don't think they're here to make friends." Tony replied, repulser blasting one of them and dodging a few others.
"Really? I hadn't noticed." Hawkeye said sarcastically. "Thanks for the heads up." Clint shot an arrow at one of the poptarts only for it to turn in to a pixie stick. He tried three more times with the same result. "Guys? My arrows keep turning into pixie sticks."
"Hahaha! Really? That's hilarious!" Tony said. He was laughing so hard he could barely breath.
"Shut up. Stark. You wouldn't be laughing if this was you." Barton grumbled.
"Speaking of things not working, Loki just turned my shield in to a cookie." Steve said.
"Chocolate Chip or Sugar?" Tony and Clint asked at the same time.
"Oatmeal. And no, you may not eat it."
"My Widow's Bite turned to Jello. What is Loki trying to accomplish?" Black Widow said, interrupting the monologues she knew Stark and Barton had prepared so they could eat the cookie. "I think it's time to bring out the Hulk."
"You're on, Dr. Banner." Steve said in to the comms. The roar of the Hulk was loud and angry. He charged the god at full speed. Sadly, he never made it.
"What. The. Hell." Hawkeye stated as he stared at the monster sized pile of Hulk plushies that had appeared on top on the Hulk.
"Until next time, Avengers!" Loki yelled as he disappeared, returning everything back to normal. Except for the fact that there were now dead poptarts everywhere.
"Stop eating the poptarts off the street, Thor!" Natasha said.
Later that day, Loki reestablished the mental connection. We make a great team, Stark. Loki said.
We do, don't we. Great work on the magic by the way. Tony replied. Also, S.H.I.E.L.D, put me on 24 hour security watch, so we need to be careful when meeting.
Already taken care of. We get them next. What are the chances of you becoming evil and working with me?
Slim to none. I do agree about S.H.I.E.L.D, however. I will see you tomorrow to plan.
