Chapter Text
“I’m sorry,” Bucky said into the silence. “I’m sorry for outing you. I know you worked really hard to keep your classification a secret from the team.”
Tony didn’t look at him, just kept his eyes on the screen. “You didn’t mean to.”
“That doesn’t matter. I’m still sorry.”
“Natasha’s just too smart for her own good,” Tony said softly. His voice sounded kind of thick. “And I guess I’m not as good at hiding stuff as I like to think I am.”
Bucky looked at him helplessly. He knew Tony was upset, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it. They’d spent most of the day just cuddling together, but, after giving Tony his supper, Bucky knew the time had come for them to talk. Getting Tony out of his headspace had been easy. Telling him what happened was much harder. In the end, Bucky had just asked JARVIS to play the footage from the kitchen for Tony.
“You’re very good at it, Tony. Natasha had no proof until I opened my big mouth.”
Tony shook his head and finally looked at Bucky. His eyes were overly bright, but he was smiling a little. “You punched Steve for me.”
“He deserved it. I’d punch him again.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“And you’re my baby,” Bucky said, meaning it with his whole heart. He should’ve said this months ago, but better late than never. “You come first. You always have. I know we haven’t talked about me being your daddy or anything like that, but… but I want to. I want to so bad.”
“Really?” Tony asked. It came out tiny and so filled with doubt that Bucky’s heart broke. He couldn’t help pulling Tony into his arms.
“Yes, really. You’re the best baby in the whole world. I love you.”
Tony trembled. Bucky felt it only because they were pretty so tightly together, and he hugged Tony even tighter as a result. But there was still more to be said, so he whispered, “I don’t want to jump to conclusions about what you do or don’t want. We can keep this casual if you want. But… we’ve been doing this for a while now. You know me. I know you. And I think we’re good together. I’d like more.”
It was hard to put himself out there, but this was Tony. He was worth it. And Bucky knew that Tony would never take the first step. Not after he’d been rejected countless times during the course of his life, and twice more in the past week by members of their own team. No. If Bucky wanted this, and he wanted it more than anything else, he had to be the one to actually say it.
“Are you sure?” Tony said, not meeting Bucky’s eyes. “You don’t have to – just because I called you –”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” Bucky said firmly.
“Then yes,” Tony said. It was barely audible, but Bucky still heard it. His heart soared.
“Really?” he said.
“Yes. Really. If you’re sure you want me.”
“So sure,” Bucky said fervently. Tony still wasn’t looking at him, but he was hugging Bucky back now. That was a start. It would probably take a couple days before things were back to normal. Bucky was willing to deal with that if it meant he could hear Tony call him “Dada” again and know it wasn’t a fluke.
“I don’t want to be little around the team,” Tony said suddenly. “I don’t trust them.”
“I don’t blame you. I’m happy with keeping things behind closed doors.” For now, anyway. Bucky hoped that at some point in the future, the team would make amends with Tony for Tony’s sake. Tony deserved to feel safe and comfortable in his own home.
Tony nodded. “I don’t want anyone around me but you. No one else is allowed to visit.”
“I understand.”
“And… and no details,” Tony added. “It’s okay that they know. I always knew it was going to happen at one point. Natasha having her suspicions confirmed from your talk are a hell of a lot better than one of them walking in on me when I’m in my headspace.” From the shudder that wracked his body, he’d imagined that unpleasant scenario more than once. “But that’s all I want them to know.”
“I won’t tell anyone, Tony, I promise,” Bucky said. He still felt guilty for having given Natasha the information she needed to draw her conclusions, and he was grateful that Tony had forgiven him so easily. He would still have to find a way to make it up to Tony though, and he could start by keeping his mouth shut about baby Tony.
“I believe you,” Tony said. He hesitated before adding, “I know I have to face them eventually, but… can we just stay here tonight?”
“Of course we can. I’d like nothing better. Do you want to be big or little?”
Tony seemed a little surprised by the question. “Little, please. I’m tired of being big.”
“I’d be happy to spend the evening with my baby boy,” Bucky murmured, pressing a kiss to Tony’s head. It was troubling that Tony didn’t seem to get that Bucky liked spending time with him regardless of whether he was big or small. They’d have to work on that too.
It didn’t take long for Tony to slip into his headspace. In less than five minutes, Bucky had a lapful of squirmy baby. It melted his heart when Tony looked up with those big brown eyes and called him “Dada” again, like he was saying his own personal ‘I love you too’. Bucky kissed him all over until Tony’s worried little frown had turned into a giggling smile, and then he scooped his baby up and decided it was time for a treat: he’d had some doughnuts delivered from Tony’s favorite bakery.
He didn’t put Tony into his crib that night, preferring instead to spend the night cuddling Tony in bed. He wasn’t expecting to wake up alone. Bucky got up immediately, a little concerned, and found Tony sitting at the breakfast nook in the kitchen. Tony was huddled around a cup of coffee, which meant he was big today. He grunted a greeting at Bucky in between sips of coffee.
“Good morning to you too,” Bucky said, amused. Big or little, Tony hated mornings. He poured himself a cup of coffee, refilled Tony’s cup, and then sat next to Tony.
“We have a press conference today,” Tony said. “Fury texted me. He wants us both there.”
Bucky had been thinking. He cleared his throat. “Can we say we’re dating?”
“What?” Tony squeaked, nearly spilling his coffee. It was adorable.
“Natasha asked me that. I didn’t realize until I’d said no what a perfect cover it was. It means that we can spend time together without people wondering about us, and means that I can touch you in public. If you’re okay with that, of course,” Bucky amended.
“You want to touch me?” Tony said, recovering beautifully. He raised his eyebrows and leered. It looked so wrong that Bucky grimaced.
“Okay, no, you can’t do that. You’re a Little. It goes against everything that I am to think of you sexually,” Bucky said. It infuriated him that there were people out there who did think of Tony that way, but he understood why Tony had cultivated those rumors. Or at least, Bucky hoped they were purely rumors. He’d never found the courage to ask, mostly because it meant he would then want to murder anyone who’d actually had sex with Tony.
The tips of Tony’s ears reddened, but he stopped. “Then that’s a problem. People won’t believe it if they never see us kiss.”
“I could kiss you,” Bucky said thoughtfully. His memories of his childhood were vague at best, but he definitely remembered giving his ma a kiss on the mouth at bedtime. His sisters had done the same thing. It had always been purely platonic. There was no reason why he couldn’t do the same thing with Tony.
Tony frowned, swirling his coffee around. “It would mean you couldn’t date anyone.”
Bucky had to laugh. “Sex? Me? Tony, I haven’t slept with anyone in over seventy-five years, much less dated.”
“All the more reason for us not to use that as a cover.”
“No,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “No, I – I’m not ready for that. I don’t know if I ever will be.” He could share a bed with Tony because he trusted Tony. He loved Tony. But he couldn’t fathom letting anyone else in to that degree. And after some of the things Hydra had done, Bucky wasn’t sure if he would ever redevelop an interest in sex or dating. That ship may very well have sailed permanently, and he’d made peace with that.
He met Tony’s eyes. “Frankly, this would be a good cover for me too. The tabloids keep writing articles about eligible bachelors and including my name on the list. That makes me… really uncomfortable.”
Looking concerned, Tony started to take out his phone. “Let me call Pepper and –”
“No! Thank you for the offer, but that will just draw more attention.”
“They are annoying like that,” Tony said with a sigh. He was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, okay. That will work. It’s not like I’m going to be dating anyone anyway. But when you said touching –”
“Holding hands. Hugging. An arm around your shoulders. Like you said, we need to look convincing, but that’s it. I promise not to pick you up or do anything too babyish.”
Tony eyed him. “Make sure you don’t. Being picked up by you sends me into my headspace pretty much immediately, and I don’t need to tell you how much that cannot happen in public.”
“I won’t,” Bucky promised. He’d noticed that about Tony before. Being picked up and rocked was a guaranteed way to calm baby Tony down. “If I ever see you starting to slip, I’ll get you out of there as quickly as I can. You probably noticed that I’m good with my fists.”
Finally, Tony cracked a grin. “Yeah, that was hard to miss. Please don’t punch any reporters unless you have to. They tend to be pretty touchy about that kind of stuff.” He sighed a little and drained his cup. “Speaking of touchy, I guess I need to face the music. Though I’d much rather hide up here.”
“I’ll go down with you,” Bucky said, maybe a little too eagerly judging by Tony’s amused look. “Just let me grab some clothes.”
Tony was very tense on the trip downstairs. Bucky kept his distance for all of two minutes before he cautiously slid an arm around Tony’s shoulders. He was prepared to pull away if Tony tensed up anymore, but it was actually the opposite: Tony melted into the touch. Bucky exhaled in relief, pleased he’d made the right move, and plastered a low-key glare on his face as the elevator doors opened.
Steve’s head snapped around immediately – of course he’d been waiting for them. The bruising on his face was gone; Bucky’s hands itched to punch him again. He glared a little harder when he realized that Steve was alone, which was unusual considering that Fury had asked for the whole team and they typically traveled to events like this together. This was feeling a little bit like an ambush. Hadn’t Steve taken his threats seriously?
“Hi,” Steve said after a beat of uncomfortable silence.
“Hi Steve,” Tony said, sounding at once tired and amused.
“Tony, I…” Steve fumbled, glancing warily at Bucky. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me you were a Little.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Bucky burst out. “That’s your apology?!”
“Bucky!” Tony said. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not fine. Jesus, Steve. You’ve been a complete jackass, and now you’re offering up a half-assed “I’m sorry you felt that way” apology? Are you even sorry for how you acted?”
Steve flushed. “I was trying to protect you,” he argued weakly.
“I don’t need your protection,” Bucky practically snarled. “What I need is for you to treat all of the members of your team the same. Or at the very least, with some degree of professionalism. If you don’t change your attitude…” He let the threat hang in the air, knowing Steve’s imagination would fill in multiple blanks.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said meekly, avoiding Bucky's gaze by looking at Tony. Bucky ground his teeth. He was positive that Steve was apologizing because Bucky had yelled at him, not because he was genuinely sorry. He was equally positive that this front would probably disappear as soon as Steve felt comfortable again.
“It’s fine,” Tony said again, elbowing Bucky. “Just… this doesn’t need to change anything in the field. That’s all I need from you.”
“Done.” Steve nodded quickly, perking up. Like it was really that easy. Yeah right.
The second Tony was in the kitchen, Bucky pounced. He backed Steve up against the wall and pulled the same trick that Steve loved to pull on everyone else, looming over him – because Steve was maybe an inch taller, but Bucky was heftier in the shoulders. It was satisfying to watch Steve’s face flush red and then go pale as he realized Bucky had him boxed in.
“I’m telling you now,” Bucky said, very quietly and very calmly. “You watch yourself, Steve, and you watch that Little of yours.”
“Are you threatening me and Wanda?” Steve asked.
Bucky stared him dead in the eyes. “Yeah, I am. If you two don’t change your attitude when it comes to Tony, there’s going to be problems. I’m not going to stand by and watch you treat him like shit anymore.”
“I never –” Steve began. Amazingly, he was wise enough to stop before he finished that sentence. He looked at Bucky for a long moment, then finished with, “I understand. Tony’s your Little. Even if I question your judgment, I get that you’re protective of him. I’ll try to be kinder.”
“You should want to be kinder because he’s your teammate, and supposed to be your friend,” Bucky couldn’t help pointing out.
“You’re right,” Steve said, though whether he meant it or was just placating Bucky was anyone’s guess. “I just have to - Tony, though? Really? We could’ve gotten you a nice Little, Buck, some little boy –”
“I’m going to say this once. Tony’s the sweetest baby I could ask for. I’m lucky he wants me,” Bucky said. “I question your judgment when it comes to Wanda, but you’re my friend and I trust that you’ve thought through the consequences and want her anyway. I expect the same courtesy when it comes to Tony.” He could hardly believe he needed to ask for it. He was going to have to work hard to open the team’s eyes in the future.
Steve nodded. “That’s fair. I’ll warn Wanda to be nice.”
“See that you do.” Bucky backed off, sensing he’d gotten as far as he was going to get today. He stalked into the kitchen, where he found the rest of the team and Tony, who was talking to Bruce. Tony glanced up at his arrival and smiled. That smile simultaneously melted Bucky’s heart and hardened his resolve.
For Tony, he would do anything.