Chapter Text
He lay tied to a table as millions of needles pressed into him at once.
What was this? Pain rattled throughout his body. They watched on with blank faces, and suddenly, it was gone. He felt nothing. Nothing at all.
He felt death. His vision went black.
When he awoke, numbness shook him. The feeling of death still overpowered him, however, he was alive. How?
He sat up on the table. A doctor reached out to him, however, the moment they touched him, they collapsed.
Another doctor ran over to the collapsed body on the floor. “They’re dead,” they said. “They’re dead,” the other doctors repeated.
Genji jumped up from the table. All of the people in the room instantly jumped away from him, fear in their eyes. He backed away. “I didn’t - do that, did I?” He shook his head as he backed into the wall.
The wall fell apart behind him. What the hell? They all started to yell, pointing at him, afraid. “I didn’t mean to!” Genji insisted. He tried to approach them, but the floor broke apart beneath his feet.
He destroyed everything he touched.
The ground gave out beneath him, and he fell, down, down, down. It would never stop.
But all the while, he still felt nothing. He was numb to it all. He was dead.
-
When he opened his eyes, he discovered he was in Zenyatta’s home again. Right. A dream.
The particular one he’d experienced never ceased to remind him of what he was. Dead. He really was just living in a shell; there wasn’t enough of him left to consider him alive.
He destroyed everything he touched.
Of course. It minded him of that, too.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes. Numbness creeped its way through him, and the dead feeling that he’d experienced in the nightmare came through.
For a while, he sat, staring at nothing, his mind disconnecting from reality. To no surprise, negativity once again took root in his mind. It seemed that whenever he’d feel closer to accepting himself, the nightmares would force him into relapse. Always.
Everything went blank. The outside world was insignificant, and he was lost in his head. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there like that, but suddenly, he was being shaken.
Immediately, in what seemed like an instinctive reaction, he pushed away whoever was shaking him and yelling; “Get away from me! I’m only going to hurt you!” He quickly backed away from the person who he’d pushed, getting himself as far away as possible.
He stared at Zenyatta, who seemed unfazed.
Genji felt nothing. He was numb. All he felt was death, nothingness.
Zenyatta slowly approached him. “Please calm down, Genji,” he said calmly, holding a hand out to the cyborg.
Genji felt himself shove up against the wall in trying to get away. “Don’t come near me. I’ll only hurt you,” he practically pleaded, curling up into himself. Part of him knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t snap himself out of the empty feeling, the idea that he destroyed everything he touched.
The omnic’s hand appeared on his shoulder. “No, you won’t hurt me,” his soothing voice promised. The touch sparked a bit of feeling in Genji; the small bit of warmth in an endless sea of numbness. “It’ll be alright, Genji. Please, calm down.”
He collapsed into Zenyatta’s arms. Why did this always happen? He thought he could have been getting somewhere, but they would always, always be back to haunt him. The embrace from his teacher warmed up his senses, and he returned to reality.
-
Neither spoke for a while. Genji was still on edge, and Zenyatta knew better than to be bothersome. However, he stayed close by; perhaps in case of another breakdown, Genji guessed.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the cyborg finally spoke up. “It was another nightmare,” he started. “I’ve had it before, but I’ve never...reacted that way. I’m sorry.”
Zenyatta nodded. “Do not worry. It’s alright, I understand,” he reassured, inching closer to Genji. “May I ask what happened in it?”
“I felt pain, then...nothing. It’s like death,” he started. “I was in some sort of hospital room. I...destroyed everything I touched.” Instinctively, Genji looked at his hands.
“Do you feel dead?” The omnic asked in response, taking Genji’s hands in his own.
“...sometimes, I guess,” he replied with a shrug. “I feel like my body is...like a corpse. And is it not? I mean, after what my brother did-“ Genji realized that he hadn’t said a word to his teacher about Hanzo, and stopped himself.
“Your brother?”
“Nevermind.”
“Please,” Zenyatta lifted his student’s face to look at him. “You can trust me. All I want is to help you. This changes nothing.”
Taking a deep breath, Genji prepared himself. He truly hated talking about it, but... “My brother killed me. Tried to, at least. Though, looking at me now, he got pretty close, huh?”
“Was his attack what made you need cybernetics?”
He only replied with a nod. Anger boiled up in him. Why should Hanzo get to live normally while he had to live this way? It wasn’t fair. He hated it. He hated his brother, he hated the fact that he forced him to be this way. He clenched his fists.
Silence fell. Zenyatta clearly noticed Genji getting upset about the topic, and did not press any further. “I think you should relax for the day, my student. You desperately need a break. I’ll stay with you if you need anything.”
Genji only nodded. “Thank you. Master.”
The cyborg didn’t get it entirely. He didn’t know what it was that made the presence of Zenyatta so reassuring. He was a bright light in the overwhelming darkness. It was strange to Genji; he hadn’t really felt this comfortable with someone before.
“Oh, and, do you usually keep your faceplate off?”
Oh my god. He’d forgotten to put it on. Zenyatta had been staring at his ugly, scarred, destroyed face the whole time. He reached out to grab it and put it back in it’s place, but he was stopped.
“You don’t have to hide. Besides, you’re quite cute.”
If his face weren’t so damaged, maybe he’d be blushing at the comment. It took him off guard, but it made him decide to leave it off.
He wasn’t sure what it was. But there was something about Zenyatta...he was different than anyone he’d ever known.