Chapter Text
when what happens in the stairwell happens Jac sees Jasmine and Jasmine keeps her going till she can get help. She's with her the whole time, reminding her of everything she has to live for and how much she loves her and how they'll see each other again but it's NOT TIME YET.
If she wasn't in so much pain Jac could have laughed. If this crazed lunatic had decided to get all gun happy a few hours later she would have been out of this place for good. Although then maybe they would have got someone else, someone with something to live for, and that would have been worse. She groaned and clutched the wound on her side. She was one of the best surgeons in the country, the world even, and she couldn't stop herself from dying. She couldn't stop her sister from dying either so she shouldn't really be surprised. She closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't hold on much longer.
“Don't you dare.” Came a strangely familiar voice from above.
Great, now she was hearing things. She slowly lifted her head to follow the voice. And seeing things too it seemed. “What?”
“Die. Because then that would be giving up and you don't do that.”
Standing there before her in the corridor was Jasmine. Looking just as she did before… everything. The bright blue eyes and the innocence. But that smile was gone. “Well as you’re here it seems I already am.”
Jasmine shook her head. “You're not. And you're not going to be. You have so much waiting for you out there and you are going to get through this and get back to it.”
She barked out a harsh laugh. “How do you suggest I do that? It's not like I have any surgical equipment on me and even if I did I could hardly operate on myself. You're not even really here so it's not like you can help.”
“Maybe not but what I need you to do is hold on until someone gets here. I couldn't do it but I know you can. For me, for Emma, for Sacha, whoever it needs to be for. Just do it.” She spoke firmly.
“I can't.” Her voice was so weak that you'd never believe it came from the great Jac Naylor.
“Yes you can. Come on think of all the patients that will suffer if you die. All the people waiting for you to operate on them and those not yet diagnosed and might never be without you.”
Her eyes fluttered closed and she forced them open again. “Someone else will treat them. I'm not the only doctor on the ward.”
“Who? Valentine?” She rolled her eyes. “He's a great guy and surgeon but he's not you. Not even close.”
“You know you're not the first one to go there right. Valentine.” She attempted a smirk.
“Do you have to be so awkward. Even now? You always have been good at avoiding difficult subjects.” She crossed her arms firmly in front of her.
“What subject? That I'm dying. You were the one that was adamant it wasn't happening.” She leant heavily back against the wall. Talking was becoming harder. She removed her hand from her side and her eyes widened at the amount of blood. Quickly, she pushed her hand back firmly on the wound.
“You don't have to. Not if you fight. You always fight for what you want. It's what I've always admired about you, ever since that day we first met.”
“What if I don't want to? What if I want to join you instead?” She was truly ready to give up. If she wasn't an outstanding doctor she didn't know who she was. In her eyes if she was failing at work, she was failing at life. And work had been getting so difficult lately.
“You don't…” she started but was interrupted.
“What? You think I'll go to hell instead?”
“Don't be ridiculous. I was going to say I'm not the only Burrows you'll see if you join me. Trust me it's not easy to avoid people here.”
“Ha well if she made it to the same place as you there's hope for us all.” She spat out.
She sighed. Clearly she wasn't getting through to her so she'd have to change tactic. At least the longer she kept her arguing she was still breathing. “What about Emma? Where will she go if you're not around?”
“She’ll go to live with Jonny. She’ll be so much happier with him, she always is.” She shrugged her shoulders like an indignant child.
“Will she? I know he's been struggling recently and hasn't been around. What if he can't cope and she ends up in care like you did. What if she has a similar experience to you, and Fran.”
Jac stared at her, wide eyed in shock. She'd always promised herself that Emma would have a better childhood than she’d had, that she'd never have to deal with the things she did. She was suppose to have an easy upbringing. “No man like that will ever go near her.” She growled.
Finally, it seemed to be working. “How can you be sure of that if you're not around any more? The first time I saw that little girl I vowed I'd always protect her. I can't anymore so you have to do it enough for the both of us.” She looked down at her rapidly paling sister and then around in panic. There was only so long she could keep her going for. If someone didn't come along soon she knew they'd be in trouble. If only she could save her, the way she would if she was really there. “And what about Sacha?” She continued, desperate to keep Jac awake. “What if his mental health deteriorates again and his best friend isn't there to support him. I don't think he'd be strong enough to manage it alone”
“What about me?” She whispered. “What if I'm not strong enough?”
“You're not alone. You've got Sacha for starters. I know you hate asking for help but he’ll never judge you and will always be there whatever you need. Then there's Fletch who’s already trying to help without you even asking. He clearly likes you by the way and I definitely approve. You need to stop being so scared of letting people in. Not everyone is going to let you down or hurt you. I know that's difficult to believe after everything but it's true. And you've got me. I'll always be watching and helping you in times like this.”
“I wish you were here.” Her eyes fell shut and she wasn't able to open them this time. “There's so much I wish I said.”
“I know.” She spoke softly. “I mean I know what you wanted to say. And I know that you love me. I haven't always, definitely not in the beginning. In fact I think I realised on the day that… you know. I saw how hard you tried to save me and the pain behind your eyes as I drifted away. I know you're struggling because you think I didn't know or you didn't show it. But I know. And I love you too. I always will. So you need to stay awake for me and keep that love alive. We’ll be together again one day, but not yet. Open your eyes Jac.” She was just starting to really panic as she heard footsteps, her cue to leave. She didn't think she'd ever been so relieved to see Sacha Levy’s lumbering form come around the corner. She'd done all she could and now it was his turn, but she had all faith in him.
“Jac? Oh god Jac.” He broke into a sprint as he saw her lying limp on the floor.
She opened her eyes briefly and looked around. She was gone. She was right there, how could she be gone? Again. “Jasmine. Come back! Jasmine!” She cried out before slipping out of consciousness.