Chapter Text
Dan and phil wake up and look around. All around them is snow, but they are not cold. They get up at the same time and walk around, no saying a word. Faintly, they can hear music
“What is thaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA”
Dan begins to scream in falsetto when he realises what it is. The song is the exact one he wanted to excape. Frosty the snowman, justin beiber version.
“AHHAHHAAahaHAHAhaHAHAahAHH” Phil screams along with dan because now he too, has the song stuck in his head.
Suddenly crankthatfrank appears with the whole emo quartet. Dan and Phil drop to their knees, and begin screaming indecipherable words.
“SHUT UP EMO DADS” frank screams like the emotional teenager he is.
Dan and phil shut up.
“”Ok guys you can have forgiviness, but we have to do the ritual now. Rise emo dads”
Dan and phil rise, and frank motions for the emo quartet to get in a circle. It takes them 666 hours because they do not know how to cooperate. Frank puls out two costumes.
“I need you to put these on. It is the only way it can be done.”
He throws the cheese dress and sailor girl outfit at dan and phil. They put them on without question. Geesus yawns, and then fronk yawns, and then moikey yawns and then ray yawns, because it has been a very tiring day. Then the rest of the emo quintet yawns, and then they all start singing sleep by my chemical romance.
“SHUT UPPPP YOUR MESSING UP THE RITUAL!!1!!1!1!1!!!!” Frank yells, and the wind begins to puck up bringing in more snow.
“GUYS TAKE OUT YOUR MILK” frank yells over the wind
The yeemos take out their milk and look to frank for guidance.
“NOW POUR IT OUT”
Beebo and ryan really got into it, and then the rest of the emos began pouring the milk on the ground. Once the last drop of milk fell out of (ryans ass) tyjos carton, it rose and made a wall of milk. It was beautiful in all its milky glory.
Inside the milk fortress, dan and phil were very confused. They were about to start running around and screaming, but then something took form. Phil grasped dans hand, and the looked at the figure rising out of the milk. After 420 minutes, the milk figure took its final form. Phil dropped to his knees and dan followed. Dan laughed, but it was lost under the wind. As phil lifted his head to look at the christmas god infront of him, he gasped so loud even the people outside th milk fortress heard.
“[Dan]???” phil asked, looking back and forth between the identical [dan], and dan. It made no sense! How was there 2 of them?????????????????????
“Hi phil, i, am the real dan, i send this one every winter, so that i can make sure all the winter holidays go correctly.” [dan] said. “I made this one take you here so i could tell you in my pure form.”
Phil just nodded. He would talk to dan when he got back from his godly duties.
“Coolio” [dan] said “in that case, this one can go away and you can become my godly helper.”
“Ok” phil said, dazed
Geesus penetrated the milk fortress to inform dan and phil that he was, in fact, not okay (He promises) Neither of them noticed.
[Dan] summoned a godly sharpie, and getured for phil to come closer. He drew on phils face, a set of cat whiskers.
“All whisked up!” [dan] said cheerfully
“Theyer good.” Phil says, after looking into the reflection of the pool of milk [dan] was floating above.
“Thank you.”
“Quite long though.” phil said
“OH btw youre now a christmas god.”
“Oh.okay”
The milk fortress began to turn onto cheese and phil screamed so loud it disintegrated. All the emo bands were gone.
Phil was now a christmas god, and [dan] always was. Crankthatfrank was an emotional teenager, and the emo quintet was weird af. The end.