Chapter Text
[December 19, 2017] [7:16 PM] the brewski frat(™)
what the fuck richard: uhhhhh hhey whats up joyui guiys its uyour bouys u hhhh hh ,,, ,
would anyone like some stew: why
butter my eggroll: yall even though hes fucking high as fuck he types like that all the time
what the fuck richard: lmaaoaooo you bithch like evryeone ncna fucking huebndergsttand me fperfhtectlky fine.
sticky nut juice: nah u know how hard it is to chub up when he spells every other fucking word wrong
sticky nut juice: really hard,,, like harder than my dick
go back to sleep and starve: 5 messages in and we are already talking about dick, great.
uh,, skinny penis: lmao u wanna tlka about my ,,,,,
oovoo javer: sT OPP,,, d USTY y
go back to sleep and starve: hey guys im single and ready to mingle :)))))
oovoo javer: bi TH
still a piece garbage: yo we talkin about diCK??
what the fuck richard: i MM JUSTR FUCKIGN TALKING ABOUTTB VUIENDDS YOU FUCKEER IM INNNOTNCET.
sticky nut juice: debatable
would anyone like some stew: debatable
what the fuck richard: nO off tiopopos cquiiiusutions,,, ,opyuu have bene stippoed
i’m 11 so shut the fuck up:: are you okay richie
what the fuck richard: i SAID NO OFF TOIPOS QUIESTIONS,
sticky nut juice: just ignore him
country boy i love you: if you ignore him, he’ll stop and bother eddie or something.
I want a Jewish girl: Actually just stop texting for once, Richard.
what the fuck richard: uhh todya my boyfriuends bullited me,, im startun a kcikstarted to putbbthem down
what the fuck richard: the benuifits of puttigb them down worlf ebe that id dbe bulleiddwya less
still a piece of garbage: noah fence but what the fuck
go back to sleep and starve: who provides his weed and knows he gets like this.
hahaha i do that: fake ass bitches
hahaha i do that: i leave for 0 mins and you give my sot in the parti awau
what the fuck richard: uuhhhhh thetrees ony one thifng worsteb thana f rapisst
would anyone like some stew : boom
sticky nut juice: richie
what the fuck richard: kNKHLIUSDHLFHSKFKJDS
what the fuck richard: o kt ogod suhc bulliues
what the FUCK is up kyle: It’s a snake rehab guys
what the FUCK is up kyle: wait
what the FUCK is up kyle: fuck
I want a Jewish Girl: Hahah, rehab.
hahaha i do that: whay the heck guys did you aee wherw my edivles went i cant fubd tgen :(((
what the FUCK is up kyle: wait dingt you leave tehm on the table
what the fuck richard: hahhah im not gonanf stop
what the fuck richard: not ognans itpk til li get my shcta
hahaha i do that: b ITHC
I want a Jewish Girl: Also, laugh at Richie. He doesn’t know how to wear a fucking kippah.
what the FUCK is up kyle: isn’t it fuckinff jjewish,,,,,, amgic
country boy i love you: where are you stan????
country boy i love you: is he okay?? he isn’t home.
I want a Jewish Girl: No you idiot, it’s like, bobby pins. God, Bill.
uh,, skinny penis: lmao sassy stanny
Hahahah i do that:n wow cant believe richie is a whole snake, ,, alla otf ym edidie s are in hsi sdfuckig stomahc
what the fuck richard: abbae, im reading haryry potrer and thhe priinsone rof azkandben,, ,what do you nwat
hahaha i do that: ousy nake
what the FUCK is up kyle: riciee :((( whyd ouy erat her eddibeks
what the fuck richard: uhhhhhh **puts sar sup to cove rthe s in shoes**
what the FUCK is up kyle: stop kit dick oyu loosdk like a nazix
country boy i love you: stan, cmon babe lets go home. you need a bath
what the fuck richard: oyu compelte em wihilm
sticky nut juice: uhhuhhhhhhhhhhh,,, , i hope that you’re referring to me when you say wilhelm.
butter my eggroll: hwy nwuold he meann you,, bill s same s i wilvdem
sticky nut juice: ,,,, will is short for william
sticky nut juice: bill is short for william
sticky nut juice: we have the same name but a different nickname
I want Jewish girl: WHATHHJ. wHY woUld yoU WANT MEE tO Die miCHEAL HAN LOM.
oovoo javer: ok something is up,, stan spelled somethign wrong
still a piece of garbage: lucas is right,,,,, is stan okay?
go back to sleep and starve: weewoooweeewooo stans not okay.
hahaha i do that: srooyr i cant fuckinh concenttraagte an naythtign elske oteher than tehe faxct thatr dick kate me y eddibled
what the fuck richard: wHEN WILK JOYU LEARN
what the fuck richard: WEHN WIDLD YOU LEARN
what the fuck richard: TNAH T YOUS R ACTOON S HAEV CONSQUUENCES
country boy i love you: Where are you guys?! I’m getting in my truck as we speak.
i’m 11 so shut the fuck up: i heard them say that they were meeting up at bills
would anyone like some stew: oooooo, you guys are in trouble.
what the fuck richard: wewee alld diewe
what the fuck richard: yoo u eigght er kill ylousrslef of grt wileldc
what the FUCK is up kyle: whst u gaonnna do
hahaha i do that: BOOM CHHOBOB
butter my eggroll: WAHST YOU GOANANS DO\
go back to sleep and starve: you guys are going to die tofay. 218 messages in 20 minutes
country boy i love you: Okay, I’m heading inside. I’ll keep you guys updated.
[December 20, 2017] [6:20 AM] the brewski frat(™)
what the fuck richard: stan rn: “honestly i dont remember, i was probably fucke dup then heuheuheueheueuheh”
hahaha i do that: lmao can yall believe that stan ate all of my fucking edibles
uh,, skinny penis: lmao how many were there
hahaha i do that: like 15 brownies
country boy i love you: y’all know that brownies are his kryptonite
what the FUCK is up kyle: listen dont blame me it was max’s fault i was an innocent bystander
I want Jewish girl: I actually hate you all. I was tricked, Bill is a villain.
hahaha i do that: lmao i cant believe that bil lsaid that
hahaha i do that: he fuckin brought the bong outta his room
what the FUCK is up kyle: yeah but oyu brought the brownies
hahaha i do that: unimportant
uh,, skinny penis: the real villain is lev from oceanography?
uh,, skinny penis: no
uh,, skinny penis: the real villian is bill from the losers club
oovoo javer: no its sydney from fuckin trig
oovoo javer: heyre a fuckin snake
oovoo javer: i asked for them fuckin formula sheet to put down and they gave me the wrong one on purpose
uh,, skinny penis: how do u know it was on purpose
oovoo javer: BECAUSE AFTERWARDS tHEY PULLED OUT A DIFF SHEET THAT SNAKE
country boy i love you: ive never seen stan vomit that much. :((((
i’m 11 so shut the fuck up: feel better stanny :))
I want Jewish girl: Thanks el, love you.
would anyone like some stew real snake of the hour, richie. He didn’t deny that he ate the edibles.
what the fuck richard: i wAS FUCKING HIGH
go back to sleep and starve: you could have said something before he ate them all.
what the fuck richard: i dont have control over my limbs owh can i stop the madness that is stan gettin g high for the sam etime
would anyone like some stew: snake
butter my eggroll: snake
uh,, skinny penis: snake
oovoo javer: snake
country boy i love you: snake
hahaha i do that: sNKAE
go back to sleep and starve: its a snake habitat turn around!
still a piece of garbage: “snake rehab”
I want Jewish girl: Nastiest and slimiest, snake in the fucking jungle.
[December 20, 2017] [8:37] the brewski frat(™)
still a piece garbage: oH MY GOD I
still a piece garbage: mmmmmmmhmmhmhmhmhmmhmhmmhmhm
what the fuck richard: whats good my brewski
still a piece garbage: fUKIN VIC
I want Jewish girl: Is he back from juvie?
still a piece garbage: hahahahh i wihs
still a piece garbage: id rather have vic from juvie punch me simultaneously with hen*y the fur*y than hear this bitchs voice
what the fuck richard: lmao vic candelario? Hwat he do
still a piece garbage: uuuhuhuauahuahuuhauuhufuuguguhgu fuck
still a piece garbage: hes so fuckin obnoxious everytime i say ish name he just thin ks i w anna fiGHT
still a piece garbage: like no i dont want to be as much of an attentionseekee r as you, trahs
still a piece garbage: i jUST WANNA PASS MANDARIN
I want a Jewish Girl: Oh, the new kid from last year? I thought everyone liked him, he seemed sweet.
still a piece garbage: hahahhahahahahahahahah
still a piece garbage: lAST YEAR
still a piece garbage: this year hes just an attention seeking whore like probably sucked more guys off than richie
sticky nut juice: hEY
would anyone like some stew: yo u bicnh
still a piece garbage: sorry bu,t i hATE HIM
go back to sleep and starve: gET OF FBEFORE I FUCKING GET IN TROUBLE WITH MADAME DEER
i’m 11 so shut the fuck up: honestly
still a piece of garbage: :(((((((((
[December 20, 2017] [2:43 PM] the butt babes
asshole: ahhahahah whos ready to fuckin,,, get some panda
arm machine broke: i want chipotle oyu snake
wizard sticky nut juice: uhhhh hhh hh hh h hh h hh h
wizard will: im okay with thatver
asshole: ahhhhhhhh oyu oyung sweet chidl
arm machine broke: you arent apart of this oyu beautiful boy.
wizard will: ?????
arm machine broke: youre too nice babe
arm machine broke: youre like okay with everything so rich and i only argue since we dont care about eahc other’s feelings
asshole: now i want fucking panda
arm machine broke: no i want chiptle
arm machine broke: you dont need anymore fuckin oil in your food you grease trap
wizard will: eddie!!!!!!!!!!!
arm machine broke: ok ok ok im sorry we can eat panda
asshole: no, it’s okay. we can go to chipotle.
wizard will: babe, he didnt mean it
wizard will: he was just joking
arm machine broke: yeha honey, its okay
arm machine broke: we can go to panda!!!!
asshole: no
asshole: its okay
asshole: you guys can go ahead
asshole: ill just stay home today
[December 20, 2017] [4:19 PM] private message
country boy i love you: okay so i’m eating at denny’s after i got out of work, right?
I want a Jewish girl: Okay?
country boy i love you: this fuckin waitress was the biggest bitch i’ve ever had
country boy i love you: i ask for some fuckin veggie burgers and like she starts hitting on me, right?
I want a Jewish girl: ...Okay?
country boy i love you: so i’m trying to tell this chick that im taken, im like “yo hanna, im gay as fuck.”
I want a Jewish girl: Damn, straight.
country boy i love you and once i tell her, i fuckin see her spit in my food in the back BECASUE THERES AN OPEN BACK
country boy i love you: THIS DUMB BITCH IS RUINING MY FOOD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME
I want a Jewish girl: What the actual fuck?
country boy i love you: right? So now i’m gone and left without paying
I want a Jewish girl: I would too, don’t worry honey.
country boy i love you: now i’m at wendys.
country boy i love you: do you want anything from here, babe?
I want a Jewish girl: I’m keeping kosher :(
country boy i love you: right, right. sorry. i’ll stop by lunas on my way to your house :))
I want a Jewish Girl: <3 See you in 20 minutes.
[December 20, 2017] [4:28 PM] the semiquiet group
wizard will: guys eddie made rihcie feel bad
elevated: good job eddie
january embers: yeah eddie
zumiez: a sad richie is a sad family
arm machine broke: !!!! if eel bad
arm machine broke: im gonna cry please dont yell at me
arm machine broke: im gonna buy him food and sneak into his room
egg boy: go talk to him, eddie. Like private message him. He likes talking things out :)
b b b bill: yeah thats a good idea
b b b bill: what food are you bringing him
arm machine broke: i got him some panda
arm machine broke: he was asking for some earlier
busty dusty: good idea my guy
wheelies: good luck dude, hopefully hes feeling okay
Flat Stanley: What did you even say?
arm machine broke: i may of have
arm machine broke: called him a grease trap
mucas: oh my god,,,,
b b b bill: yeah go apologize
arm machine broke: ok ok ok ok
[December 19, 2017] [5:17] private message
would anyone like some stew: richie
what the fuck richard: what
would anyone like some stew: open your window
what the fuck richard: whagwhagtwgat
would anyone like some stew: yes open your window my guy you deserve an aopology
what the fuck richard: why
what the fuck richard: what did you do to apologize to me
would anyone like some stew: open u pyour window and ill explain
would anyone like some stew: now hurry up it s cold
what the fuck richard: okay okay holdo n
[December 20, 2017] [6:56 PM] the brewski frat(™)
sticky nut juice: pepsi bottle
would anyone like some stew: empty coca cola glass
what the fuck richard: i dont give a damn
what the FUCK is up kyle: so i assume you guys made up?
sticky nut juice: not only that but when they got to my house
sticky nut juice: [richiestornupback.jpg]
butter my eggroll: jesus christ eddie did you try to kill him
hahaha i do that: lmao how much was he bleeding afterwards
go back to sleep and starve: thats kind of,,,
go back to sleep and starve: disturbing
uh,, skinny penis: uhhhhhh
uh,, skinny penis: [benstornupback.jpg]
oovoo javer: JKDFHGLUIHERGARGJK
go back to sleep and starve: DUSTIN
uh,, skinny penis: hm?
i'm 11 so shut the fuck up: okay thats really disturbing
butter my eggroll: what gay sex talk or the scratches
i'm 11 so shut the fuck up: the scratches
hahaha i do that: [bevstornupback.jpg]
i'm 11 so shut the fuck up: ok no not okay
i’m eleven so shut the fuck up has left the chat
uh,, skinny penis: dflkgharghargfkjdfkj
hahaha i do that has added i’m eleven so shut the fuck up
i'm 11 so shut the fuck up: dont expose me you snake
hahaha i do that: <3333
still a piece of garbage: everyone is so fCUKING gay what the fuck
uh,, skinny penis: got anything to expose wheeler? ;)))
still a piece of garbage: uhh not that I can think of
what the FUCK is up kyle: [mikestornupback.jpg]
still a piece of garbage has left the chat
what the FUCK is up kyle has added still a piece of garbage
still a piece of garbage: i have nothing to say to you denbrough
I want a Jewish girl: I swear to god, Michael…
country boy i love you: ye,,s dea r :,,,) *gulps*
[December 20, 2017] [11:11 PM] the brewski frat(™)
what the fuck richard: 11:11 make a wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!
butter my eggroll: i wish for less bullying from my girlfriends
what the FUCK is up kyle: i wish for eating dat ass
I want a Jewish girl: Okay, halt.
go back to sleep and starve: i wish for everyone to shut the fuck up
go back to sleep and starve: its time to do t fucking sleep
uh,, skinny penis: ahh so glad im dating a ray of sunshine
oovoo javer : go to sleep before he kills you
oovoo javer: or i do
what the fuck richard: i just wanted to have a nice family gathering
what the fuck richard: and all i got was relationshi[ pangst
would anyone like some stew: GO TOHE SLEEP
sticky nut juice: goodnight everyone!!!!!
sticky nut juice: love you!!!
butter my eggroll: aww love you willy!!!
hahaha i do that: such a dear, love you
go back to sleep and starve: good night william
what the FUCK is up kyle: goodnight my brewskis
what the FUCK is up kyle: eat ass in your dreams :)
I want a Jewish Girl:
Fuck you, Bill.