Chapter Text
Audrey's coughing wakes up Nathan in the middle of the night. Nathan tries to keep his panic in check and holds Audrey closer to himself, trying to let his body heat help her. He tries to rub at Audrey's upper back to stop to coughing, eventhough it is difficult in the position they are in, with Audrey's back against Nathan's chest. It does seem to help a bit and he kisses Audrey's neck and hugs her even tighter into himself. Audrey's illness reminds him of when his mother was sick. He hates it. He hates that there isn't really anything he can do to help her. It makes him feel so useless. He doesn't know what to do. He's never been good with words, but maybe this will help.
"Rakastan sinua," Nathan whispers against Audrey's neck in Finnish.
Audrey sighs and turns within Nathan's arms.
"What was that?" she smiles, weakly but genuinely, "It sounded... I don't know. Different."
"Rakastan sinua. It means 'I love you' in Finnish." Nathan rubs Audrey's back again. It works much better in this position. Nathan feels annoyed for a moment about the fact that he can't tell if it helps at all because he can't physically feel Audrey. But Audrey's reaction tells him that it does help. She gives Nathan a quick kiss, sighs contently and smiles at him.
"Say it again."
First Nathan points at himself "Minä", and then he draws a heart in the air with his finger "Ra-(left side)-kas(right side)-tan(an arrow through the heart)" and then his finger continues on and gently pokes at Audrey's chest " sinua". Nathan ends his little performance with a quick kiss at the tip of Audrey's nose.
Audrey giggles for a moment and then tells Nathan he's corny. Nathan smiles and pulls Audrey closer to himself. Audrey's head is beneath Nathan's chin and he says "Rakastan sinua" again. Nathan is not sure whether his [r] is rolling enough or how good the rest of his pronounciation is, but Audrey doesn't need to know that.
Audrey snuggles closer to Nathan's chest, strokes the scar located over Nathan's heart. Nathan's hand tangles in Audrey's hair.
"I didn't know you really know any Finnish."
Nathan shrugs. "I can basically say that and swear a bit. And I looked it up online. And of course, kinkkujuustovoileipa."
Audrey raises first her eyebrow then her head. "Ham and cheese sandwhich," Nathan clarifies.
"Of course. Who could do without that word. Is it just one word?"
"Yeah. At least I wouldn't ever starve over there."
"I really thought you would have learned what is 'pancake' first."
"It's pannukakku"
Audrey turns serious, kisses Nathan's chest for a moment over his heart, then crosses her arms at the same spot, lays her head over them. She has a good view of Nathan's face from this position.
"Does saying that feel different to saying 'I love you'? Emotionally, I mean," Audrey asks.
"A little, maybe." Nathan strokes her hair and falls into his thoughts for a moment. "I think it's nice to be able to say it to you in two languages. I love you bilingually," Nathan smirks.
Audrey lets out a laugh. She leans forward and kisses Nathan. Nathan is glad that Audrey seems to be feeling better again. For a moment they just lay together, foreheads touching, breathing the same air.
Audrey pulls back a little, wiggles free from the safety of Nathan's arms and sits up. Nathan looks at her with concentration. Audrey raises up her right hand with the palm towards Nathan, raises up her thumb, index finger and her pinky and wiggles her hand towards Nathan. Before Nathan can ask, Audrey lowers her hand on Nathan's chest and says,
"That's *I love you' in American Sign Language. I can love you bilingually, too."
Nathan smiles widely and pulls Audrey back down to himself. They kiss passionately. Nathan pulls back from Audrey reluctantly,
"Your health..."
"It will be fine," Audrey says out of breath.
Nathan decides to trust Audrey and they make love, quickly, in the middle of the night, and it's tinged slightly with desperation but mostly with deep love. Afterwards, both of them sleep better than they have in a while.